by Joss Ware
Theo brought her outside where the sunshine warmed her dulled senses, and walked with his arm around her waist. Before she knew it, they were approaching the fairies’ wheel, far from the house, far from the dark thoughts and the cloud of silver-gray reality.
He helped her on board one of the cars, and she didn’t resist. Her numbness was beginning to thaw and a myriad of emotions battered her. Anger. Fear. Disbelief.
Hate.
But as the wheel began to lift, the gust of wind stirring her hair, she blinked and felt. The ground moved away, the trees shortened as their car rose easily and gently. He sat across from her, and she looked out over the wooded grounds. Riding in the fairies’ wheel was a much different experience during the day. She almost smiled at the little tickle inside as they rounded the top and started down, still slowly and gently as if riding on a circular wave.
“Eat this,” he said, forcing something into her hand as he looked at her from the seat across. “I don’t know how long it’s been since you ate. Yesterday? In Yellow Mountain? I know you haven’t slept for a long time too.”
At this, Selena seemed to come out of her exhausted trance, and Theo felt a wave of gratitude for the awareness that flickered in her eyes. He was still trying to put all of the pieces together of what had happened, and to deal with the variety of emotions that had erupted. Shock was only one of them.
And he knew that Lou was filled with guilt and remorse. “I should be the one,” he’d said up in the arcade only a short while ago. “It should be me! I’ve lived my damn life. Why such a young one?”
Again, the why.
Theo looked over at Selena, who’d taken a bite of the sandwich he’d made for her. She was chewing, and her eyes were focusing again.
Suddenly, they lifted and leveled on him. “Thank you,” she said. “I think I needed this. To get away.”
He nodded. Her gratitude seemed genuine, but there was something else there, lurking beneath. “You could use some sleep, I think.” He eased over to her side, the car lurching a bit, tipping with his added weight, and he slid an arm along the back behind her. “Rest with me for a little while.”
She seemed stiff, but he attributed that to her shock and grief. He eased her close and was relieved when she settled into the crook beneath his shoulder. Maybe she would sleep.
He’d shown Lou the arcade, and any excitement his twin might have had about being introduced to Brad Blizek’s private sanctuary was lost in the tragic moment. They’d logged in to the NAP, Theo on Blizek’s computer, and Lou on the mini-laptop he’d brought with him.
The first order of business was to let Sage know that Lou was safely here with Theo, with only minor injuries from his scuffle with the zombies, and to get in touch with Elliott for advice on treatment.
If there was going to be a miracle and any chance for Sam to be healed, Elliott would have to get here soon.
“He’s going to die,” said Selena after a long while. The sun was much lower, completely behind the trees and distant house. She might have slept; Theo had felt her muscles relax and her body sag more heavily against him as the wheel rose and fell, their car rocking gently. Her breathing had regulated, and he was relieved that he’d been able to do that, at least, for her.
But now she was awake, pulling away from his shoulder.
“We don’t know that,” he replied, brushing hair from her face.
“I know it,” she said flatly. Her golden brown eyes, though distant, weren’t vacant any longer. “This is what I do, Theo. I know death. He’s got the death cloud.”
Theo prayed that Lou had made contact with Envy and that Elliott was on his way here. “The death cloud?”
“It starts off gray as the person’s soul gets ready to move to another plane. Sometimes it takes a day, sometimes hours, sometimes weeks or months. When it turns blue, that means it’s time. But the death cloud . . . there’s no chance once that appears.”
Theo curled his fingers around her hand and squeezed. This wasn’t the time for empty placations, but he couldn’t find the right words.
“His cloud is still gray. He’s got time. I want to go back and see him,” she said suddenly.
“All right,” Theo said, adjusting the remote from where he’d wired it to the car.
As the Ferris wheel began to slow, rising on its last ascent, she gave a soft, bitter laugh. “Do you know how many people I’ve watched die? How many times I’ve comforted families? Helped someone in pain? Listened to them and held their hands? You’d think I’d be ready for this, accepting of this. I know death is natural, it’s something we all do; and I know there’s something beyond. But I . . . this . . .”
Her voice broke and Theo gathered her close. Her tears seeped through his shirt as he held her, feeling the little wrenches in her shoulders as she wept.
“He’s your son. Of course it’s harder,” he said into her hair, and despite the horror of the moment, he felt a little rise of connection, of want and need. Of home.
Mine. This one is mine.
“I should be able to handle it better,” she said.
“Why? Why should you be able to handle it? You love him; he’s part of you. Yes, it’s hard.” He held her closer, wishing he had the words. Wishing he’d gotten to the clearing sooner last night; that he hadn’t been thrown from his horse.
He might have saved Sam, then.
She sniffled and shifted away. “I think he was going to meet Jennifer. She hasn’t been around for a couple days. I think that’s why he was so angry with me yesterday when I tried to talk to him. As if he knew something was wrong, but he didn’t want to admit it. And then he found that man. You know him?”
“Yes. His name is Lou.” Theo held back telling her more; she didn’t need anything else to deal with right now. “We’re very close. He was coming here, looking for me.”
“Sammy tried to save him. He put himself in danger to try and save him.”
“He did save him,” Theo told her. “Your son was brave and heroic. Just like his mom.”
“He was.” She sniffled again and rubbed the back of her hand over her nose. She was blotchy-skinned and her eyes were bloodshot. She didn’t look beautiful right then, with her ravaged face and red nose, but she was Selena. She was his. “And those monsters . . . they got him. They did that to him. Even though I tried to save them, they did that . . . they tore into him; they ripped him apart. He’s going to die. I hate them.”
Theo pulled her close again just as the wheel slid to a smooth halt, right in place at the bottom. God, what do I say? . . . “I know you do. I’m sorry, Selena. I’m so sorry.”
“If you hadn’t gotten there, if you hadn’t killed them. . . .” Her voice trailed off, and she ground her wet face into his shoulder, muffling her voice. “I’m so confused. So full of anger. I don’t understand why this had to happen. Why, after all I’ve done to try and save them? Why? Why would this happen to me?”
Tears pricked the corner of his eyes. The desperation and hopelessness in her voice dug deep inside him, prying into his belly and filling him with despair. He didn’t have the answer, but he wondered if it was a sign her path needed to change.
“Elliott’s not there,” was the first thing Lou said when Theo returned to the arcade. “He and Jade are on a Running mission, and there’s a woman ready to deliver a baby.”
Theo felt a shiver of anger rush over him. “If they’re in a place where there’s an NAP, they can log in—”
“Already covered that. Sage is working on getting in contact with them. She’s doing everything she can. How long do you think we have?”
Theo calmed himself. “I don’t know. Selena says he’s going to die. Things don’t look good at all unless we can get Elliott here to heal him.” He sat on one of the sofas and shoved a hand into his hair. His mind had pretty much not stopped since that little bit of slumber after making love to Selena all night the day before, and he was drained.
“Is it her?” Lou asked, turning on the chair to look at his
brother.
“Yes.”
“Then I’m even more sorry about what happened.” Lou’s aged face looked more ragged and elderly than Theo could ever remember seeing it. Or maybe it was just that they’d been apart for a long time. Or maybe it was that, since he’d been resurrected again, he looked at things more clearly now. Actually saw reality, rather than the way he wanted it to be. “Tell me about her.”
Theo lay back on the sofa, staring up at the cracked, cobwebbed ceiling, and talked. He told Lou everything about being brought back to life, about Selena’s zombie-hunter situation, about it all. There were no secrets between them. There never had been.
“I’m guessing you took advantage of the countertop here too,” Lou said wryly, pointing to the table near where Selena’s fine rear end had been sitting just a couple of days ago. “If I know you.”
A smile cracked Theo’s face. “Aw, you’re just living vicariously through me, aren’t you?”
A long silence settled there, and then a soft. “Yes.”
Theo’s eyes, which had begun to shutter, popped open. Something in his brother’s tone—He sat up and looked at Lou, and saw the wateriness in his eyes the grief over tonight’s events. His heart gave an awful ker-thump. “I was just kidding,” he said quickly, but he knew it was too late. The damage—as innocent as it had been on his part—and on Lou’s, on Sam’s, had been done.
“I know,” his brother replied. “But I was a damn fool for trying to be you. For leaving Envy and pretending I was fucking Indiana Jones or something, coming after you. Going on an adventure. Look what happened. Look what I’ve caused to happen.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Theo said. “Sam should never have been beyond the walls at night, alone. And I should have been listening more closely to you, asswipe. I was close enough to get to you. Don’t fucking blame yourself for all this.”
“Fuck you, Theo. You didn’t know what was going on because I didn’t tell you. Because I was too intent on being you, dammit.”
“Okay, great, Louis Beatty Waxnicki. Then let’s all have a big damn pity party for you. Let’s open a damned keg and get hammered and everyone can cry over the mistakes you’ve made, the stupid things you’ve done. Jesus, what an idiot!” Theo stood and stalked across the room, over to Ms. Pac-Man, and slammed his hand down next to the joystick. “At least everyone knows who you are. At least they all understand you. At least you know who you are and what you are.”
“Yeah, life must have been pretty fucking awful for you, never growing old, always looking so young and prime, with your real-life superpowers too,” Lou shot back, shoving the chair away so hard that it slammed into the wall and crashed to the floor.
“Well, they’re gone now,” Theo shouted, whirling back around from the video game console. “I’m just a normal sonofabitch like you, except I look like your fucking grandson. And I don’t know if I’m going to live forever or stay like this for the rest of my life or what. I’m a damned, unnatural freak. And I don’t know why I’m like this, and what the hell I’m supposed to do about it. And why everyone seems to keep dragging me back to life whenever I fucking die.”
They stared at each other, anger spitting through the room—identical eyes glaring into each other from two very different faces.
“I’m outta here,” Theo finally said, blinking hard, his mouth tight. “I need some damned space.”
“Take your time, and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out,” Lou snapped, turning back to the computer table. “I’m going to try and figure this thing out since you don’t have the brains to do it yourself.”
Theo slammed the door closed behind him as he ran down the stairs. His fury with Lou, with the whole situation, was already beginning to abate by the time he got to the bottom. Asshole.
“What was that all about?” Vonnie said, meeting him at the bottom of the steps. “Were you up there with that Lou person?”
“Just a little disagreement,” Theo said briefly. “How’s Sam?”
“The same. Hanging in there. Selena’s with him.”
“Has Jennifer been here?”
Vonnie’s lips flattened. “No. Not for a few days. I’m sure she doesn’t know—”
“I’ll be back later,” Theo said, his mind made up.
It wasn’t difficult for him to find Jennifer in Yellow Mountain. Theo walked past the old McDonald’s, which was where all the young, single men lived in a co-op sort of group, and behind it was the shaded patio where the young people had eaten and imbibed before Vonnie’s storytelling the other night.
A cluster of chairs were gathered there, filled with many of the young people Theo had met that night two weeks ago. Although they were socializing, they were all working on something: sewing, carving, one of the women was even snipping green beans.
Jennifer was one of them, and when Theo appeared, she looked up right away. “Hi, Theo,” she said in a casual voice, as if their last conversation about him and Selena had never happened. “What’s up?”
“I came to see you,” he said, purposely being vague. He’d managed to bank his raging anger to a dull fury, which was directed at a whole lot of the world right now.
Jennifer popped up out of her seat with enthusiasm. “Okay.” She smiled, winked at one of the girls, and literally sashayed around the circle of her friends to his side.
Theo led her out of earshot of the others before he rounded on her. “Were you meeting Sam last night?” he asked.
Her eyes widened. “No,” she said. “That’s over and done with. He’s too young for me, know what I mean?”
Theo nodded. “I certainly do. How did he take it when you told him it was over?”
Jennifer blinked and her eyes skittered away. “Uhm . . . well, I haven’t had a chance to talk to him about it.”
“I didn’t think so.” Theo drew in a deep breath that did little to contain his fury. “And how do I know this? Because he was coming to see you last night—probably because he hadn’t heard from you in two days, and he was led to believe that there was something between the two of you—”
“That’s not my fault,” she wailed. “He’s just not mature enough. He was crazy about me, talking about getting married and everything.”
“But you did lead him to believe the feeling was mutual, didn’t you? You were playing a game with him to get back at Selena, weren’t you?”
“Well, I—yes, but I was just having a little fun. I didn’t expect—”
“And do you know what happened last night? He was coming to see you, and he was attacked by gangas.”
“Oh!” Her eyes widened again. “Oh no. Is he . . . ?”
“He’s not going to make it,” Theo said, and now he took her arm as she gasped in horror at the news. He was gentle but firm. “And what you’re going to do is come back to Selena’s with me. And you’re not going to let him know that you’ve already moved on, that it was some big game. You’re going to make him happy his last few days. Got it?” He leaned into her face and let her see his disgust.
“Oh-okay,” she said, her cheeks red. “But I didn’t mean—”
“I’m sure that you didn’t. But you’re going to fix it as much as you can. Give him something. Make it convincing, too, Jennifer.” He sent her a dark look.
“But . . . what if he doesn’t die?”
“We’ll all be very lucky and very grateful. And then,” Theo said, “Selena might not want to kill you.”
The look on her face would have been comical if the situation hadn’t been so tragic and dark. As it was, Theo could hardly bear to look at the young woman as they went to find a horse for her to ride back. Stupid girl. No, it wasn’t her fault that Sam had gone out at night, foolishly, but it could easily have been prevented if she hadn’t been playing such an immature game.
They were just riding out from the gates when Theo heard the sound in the distance. The low, rumbling sound of an engine.
Jennifer, who was wrapped up in her own tragedy,
didn’t seem to notice, but he turned and looked.
He didn’t have to shade his eyes, for the vehicles were approaching from the east. Theo was just able to make out the first one coming into view from behind tree-shaded and decrepit buildings. The westerly light gleamed on the black metal of the truck, and then skipped over the one behind it . . . and the one behind it . . . and to a fourth vehicle.
“Oh, bust,” Jennifer whispered when Theo stopped and she saw them. “The snoot.”
Theo knew it had to be either the Strangers or their bounty hunters. He hesitated, then turned the horse around. “Let’s go back.”
He wanted to see what was going to happen. And what he could learn from the bastards—whoever they were.
Back inside the walls, someone had already begun to ring the bell that announced the approaching of the vehicles, and Theo saw people coming out of their homes and workstations and moving about in preparation. Jennifer slipped away as soon as they brought the horses back to the stable, and Theo watched her go with mild irritation. It was just as well. He’d have a better chance of observing without that around.
Most of the flurry of preparation, he assumed, was moot: the bounty hunters weren’t easily fooled. They were probably there for a particular reason. But since he had never been present during one of their visits, he wasn’t certain how it would unfold.
The metalsmith, the plastics worker, the rubber smelter, the weaver and clothes menders all began to trail out of their shops, along with their assistants. The crowd that had been on the patio behind the McDonald’s scattered and looked as if they had things to attend to. The gardeners in the small plots of tomatoes and other vegetables put their baskets aside. When the snoot came, apparently everyone turned out to greet them.
Everyone except for Theo. He slipped between a well-maintained building and a tall tree and clambered up into the full, leafy branches. No one seemed to notice and he ended up with a good view of the entrance to the settlement while being well camouflaged by the leaves.
As he settled into the branches, Theo heard the sounds of trucks driving into the settlement. The gates would, of course, be opened for them without hesitation. The sound of tires grinding on the gravel-strewn center of the village was both ominous and familiar.
