Maybe it was silly, but he was caring for her baby and that made him even more attractive than he was before. She wouldn’t have said that would be possible, but somehow, it was.
A thick golden lock fell to curl on his forehead. Her fingers itched to smooth it.
He stepped back. “I’m a little concerned about the cough. It’s not terrible right now, but we have no way of knowing how much his lungs were affected by the environment he was living in before foster care. I think I’m going to call in an antibiotic for him. It won’t help the measles but it might help with the complications.”
“You think he has the measles for sure?” Loads of people, like Mrs. Matthews, had the measles as a child and survived it. Jordan didn’t know why the idea scared her so much. Maybe because Levi was still fragile. She didn’t know if he had the strength to fight off a virus like this.
“His symptoms are consistent.” Ash’s hands were gentle on Levi’s head as he took a look in the little boy’s ears. “We’ll know for sure if the rash pops up in the next day or so. Hey, buddy, can you open your mouth?”
Levi obediently opened his mouth, which reminded Jordan again that he understood so much more than he communicated.
That little furrow between Ash’s brows reappeared.
“What?” Jordan didn’t like that look.
“Can you see those tiny white spots?”
She turned Levi around and laid him back in her arms. He squirmed but didn’t cry.
Ash pointed the small light into the toddler’s mouth. Little grayish-white spots populated the inside of his cheeks. “Measles?”
“They’re called Koplik spots and they’re the hallmark of measles. He’ll break out in the rash in the next day or two. I’m sorry, Jordan. I know you were hoping it was anything else but this.”
Tears hovered close to the surface. “I don’t know if he’s strong enough to fight it off.”
He put his arm around the two of them and bent his head to nearly touch hers.
Mrs. Matthews busied herself quickly at the kitchen sink.
“We’re going to take care of him, Jordan. I promise, we will.” Ash put his stethoscope and otoscope back in place in his medical bag. “I’m going to check on Claire before I head to the office.” He looked down at his sock feet and muddy khakis. “Mmm, maybe I’ll run by the house before I go in.”
Jordan laughed shakily. “That might be a good idea. I mean, I find essence of horse irresistible, but it might be a little off-putting for some of your patients.”
“Irresistible?” Ash widened his eyes and made a silly grab for her, which she easily skirted. “Taking note.”
He was still laughing as he closed the door behind him. Jordan handed Levi to Mrs. Matthews and opened the door. Ash was sitting on the steps, pulling on his disgusting loafers. “Yeah, I think these might be toast.”
It wasn’t that he was handsome, even though he was. It wasn’t even that he was nice to everyone, though he was that, too. It was that heart of his, that part of him that she’d missed when all she’d seen was what he showed the world. That was what drew her to him now. He’d ruined his shoes because he came over to help Amelia feed the horses, even though he was afraid of them.
“Thank you, Ash.” She didn’t know what else to say, really. The feelings were too big.
He nodded. “Anytime.”
She went back into the cottage. Mrs. Matthews, in the rocking chair with Levi, gave her a knowing look. She patted Levi, who was nearly asleep on her considerable chest. “Children are not ours, you know, Jordan. They’re God’s. He loved them before we even knew they would be in existence. He’s got Levi right in the palm of His hand.”
Jordan nodded, not trusting herself to say anything without the dam breaking and sobs rushing out. God loved Levi before he was born, loved him when he was still with his biological parents and loved him now.
Even through the measles.
Maybe this wasn’t what she would choose for Levi. Maybe she didn’t understand why it happened when Levi had been through so much, but she had to trust in God’s plan.
She needed Him.
And in her dim bedroom, as she climbed in between the cool sheets and began to drift, the thought wouldn’t leave her mind that she knew she needed the Lord, but maybe she needed Ash Sheehan a little bit, too.
Chapter Eight
A towel draped around his neck, Ash leaned on his car and dug his phone out of his gym bag. “Same time Saturday?”
His brother grinned and pulled out his own phone. “If you’re really sure you want to get beat again. Oh, man. Claire’s called me seven times.”
Ash looked at the face of his phone and all frivolity vanished. He had ten missed calls from Jordan. Only an emergency would warrant that kind of determination. Ash’s phone buzzed in his hand and he slid his finger across the surface of the screen. “Jordan?”
“Ash!” The word came through noise that sounded like she was standing in a hurricane.
“Where are you? What’s going on?”
“Levi’s being life-flighted to the hospital. He couldn’t keep anything down and then he had a seizure and I couldn’t wake him up. Can you meet us there?”
“I’m on my way. Praying.”
There was no response. The call just ended.
This wasn’t Ash’s first patient to be life-flighted, but Levi wasn’t just any patient. He stood there a second, staring at the phone, unfamiliar nerves jangling. Joe was pacing, his phone still glued to his ear.
Joe hung up. “Man, I’m sorry. Claire and I want to go to the hospital but she can’t leave the baby and I need to get home to give Mrs. Matthews a break from the other kids.”
“I don’t know for sure, but he’ll probably be kept in the PICU tonight so you’d just be sitting in the waiting room, anyway. I’ll keep you updated.” Ash opened the back door of his Lexus and tossed his exercise bag into the back seat.
“We’ll be praying.” Joe was still standing there when Ash slammed the car door shut and drove away.
With privileges at the hospital, he went straight there. He searched the ER for the two of them. As usual, the department was chaos, albeit carefully orchestrated chaos. He found Jordan leaning on the wall outside one of the isolation rooms, her face in her hands.
“Jordan?”
She looked up and her eyes filled. He opened his arms and she walked into them. “I’m so scared.”
“I know.” He was shaken with the need to take away the fear and worry, to take her pain onto his shoulders.
“I don’t know what’s going on. They’ve been working on him since we got here and they won’t let me be with him.”
“They’ll be out soon.” He laced his fingers with hers and leaned his back against the wall beside her. “I’ll wait with you. You said he had a seizure?”
She nodded. “For most of the day he seemed, well, not fine but okay. Then he started throwing up and his eyes just rolled back in his head.”
The door to the isolation room opened and a couple of nurses came out, pulling off their masks and paper gowns. Ash couldn’t tell from their faces what was going on. Anxiety rose like acid in his throat.
He knew all the things that could go wrong in the body, what kind of ravages infection could leave. It was why he worked tirelessly to sharpen the skills he needed to fight them. He stabbed his fingers into his hair.
Why Levi? That little guy had been through so much already.
The door opened again and a man in dark blue scrubs stepped out and, after shedding his mask and gown, stuck his hand under the dispenser for the bactericidal gel. A pediatric intensivist and infectious disease specialist Ash knew well, the ED had apparently called him down for a consult. “James. How is he?”
Dr. McIntyre turned, his eyes brighten
ing when he saw Ash. “Ash, good to see you. This patient’s one of yours? His oh-two sat was eighty-six when he came in. Portable CT detected pneumonia—left lung was practically a whiteout.”
“Would you mind using layman’s terms? This is his foster mom, Jordan.”
“Sorry. Levi was conscious when he arrived but his oxygen level was very low. The infection in the lungs is making it hard for him to breathe. Dr. Sheehan can weigh in here, but the plan will be to treat the measles with IVIG, the pneumonia with antibiotics. Because of the seizure and his general grogginess, we did a head CT, which was negative. We’ll do another one tomorrow to make sure that the seizure was induced by the rapid rise of fever and not encephalitis.”
It was a lot for a new mom to take in. Ash put his arm around Jordan’s shoulders. She trembled with tension, like a guitar string about to break.
James glanced at the clock at the end of the hall and back at Jordan. “The next twenty-four hours are critical, but we’re going to do everything we can. He’s sedated so he won’t fight the machine helping him breathe, so if you want to go ho—”
“I’m not leaving him.” The tone of her voice left no room for questions.
A nurse stuck her head out of one of the exam rooms. “Dr. McIntyre, can I grab you for a second?”
James smiled at Jordan, but his eyes were kind as he backed toward the room and his next patient. “I figured you’d want to stay. We’re taking him up to the PICU in a few minutes. You can wait in the waiting area for family members until he’s settled.”
“This way.” Jordan’s hand in his, Ash walked toward the elevator. She didn’t speak and he didn’t know what to say. He was used to comforting parents of sick children, but this wasn’t just any parent of any sick child. This was Jordan.
His own heart was constricted into a barely beating mass because worry for a child he’d grown to love consumed him. He—of all people—knew how fickle life could be. Doctors did their best, but sometimes there just was no explanation why things went the way they did.
The PICU waiting room held a handful of other people, some reading, some sleeping, one staring at a television that no one could hear.
Ash sat for about ten seconds before he was up and pacing the small room. His phone buzzed in his hand, his glucose monitor reminding him he hadn’t eaten anything after his workout with the guys.
He grabbed a cookie and poured two cups of stale coffee, taking one to Jordan, who couldn’t sit, either. She was staring out the window at the air-conditioning units on the roof of the second floor, but he didn’t think she was seeing them. “We’re gonna get him through this, J.”
“I know.” She took a sip of the coffee, made a face and took another sip as the loudspeaker crackled to life.
“Code blue. PICU. Code blue. PICU.”
* * *
The cup of coffee slid from Jordan’s fingers, hitting the terrazzo floor and splattering everywhere. She grabbed napkins from the table and dropped to her knees, trying to wipe the soppy mess, the words code blue reverberating in her head. Code blue. Code blue. Code blue.
She folded, her head on her knees, unable to breathe. Ash’s arms came around her, lifting her to her feet and guiding her to a chair.
One of the other mothers got up and without a word cleaned up the mess, a different person pouring another cup of coffee and handing it to Jordan.
A nurse appeared in the door. “Thomas family?”
Silent tears slid down the cheeks of the mother who had poured the coffee for Jordan. Her husband grabbed her hand and they walked into the hall for a short, tense conversation with the nurse before disappearing down the hall.
The grief and fear in the room was palpable. These people wouldn’t be in this waiting area unless they were with someone in pediatric ICU and, if their children were in this unit, those young lives were in peril.
Maybe it wasn’t her child who coded this time, but it could have been. The code was for someone’s child, a someone who loved that child as much as she loved Levi—as much as these other parents loved their children.
Please keep him safe. Please, Lord, please keep him safe. There were no elaborate prayers, no fancy words or church language that could make this better, only the presence of the Lord, who knew Levi, had known him from the beginning.
Please keep him safe, Lord. Please.
Ash’s fingers squeezed hers, silent reassurance.
Dr. McIntyre stepped into the open door. He didn’t even have to say her name before she was on her feet and out in the hall. “How is he?”
“We’ve got him in the isolation room and he’s stable, so you can go see him. You can stay with him if you want. Parents are allowed twenty-four-hour access.” Dr. McIntyre put his hand on Ash’s arm. “Dr. Sheehan, can I see you a minute?”
“I’ll be right there, Jordan.”
She hesitated, but pushed the button for the double doors and walked through them to the nurses’ station. “I’m looking for Levi Wheeler?”
The nurse closest to her looked up. “Your wristband, please?”
Jordan showed the wristband she’d been given in the ED, which had her identification and Levi’s.
The nurse scanned it. “You’re his mother?”
“Foster mom. I’m authorized to be with him and to sign for his medical care.”
The nurse handed her ID back and rounded the counter. “I’m Brenda. I’m the charge nurse. Our unit has a one-to-one nurse-patient ratio and doctors are on the unit at all times. Because Levi has the measles, we have some precautions in place that we’ll have to follow.”
Brenda helped Jordan get a gown and shoe protectors and then said, “If you’re immune to measles, respiratory protection is optional.”
The wall and door into Levi’s room were glass. Jordan’s eyes fixed on the tiny little guy in the bed. He wasn’t moving. “I’ve been vaccinated.”
“Okay. Every time you go in, you gown up and use the bactericidal gel. When you come out, you toss the gown and use the gel again before leaving the unit. Got it?”
Jordan nodded and used some of the sanitizer before entering the room. There was a nurse in the room with Levi, typing on a rolling monitoring station, but Jordan barely glanced at her.
Levi had wires and pads attached in all different places, some labeled with letters. He had IVs, a couple of them, and there were monitors everywhere.
She didn’t realize she was walking until she stood at his bedside, her hand reaching for Levi, but there was no place for her to touch him. Finally, she ran her finger down the soft skin of his hand. “Hey, buddy, I’m here with you.”
The nurse, super skinny with a frizz of gray curls, walked to the bedside. Like the other nurse, she wore turquoise scrubs and a bright long-sleeved shirt underneath the pale yellow paper gown. “I’m Erin and I’m taking care of Levi overnight. The wires and tubes look scary but they’re in place to either help Levi or help us monitor his condition.”
The door whooshed open behind her. Ash stepped into the room. He, too, had a gown and foot protectors on. He stepped into place beside Jordan, his arm sliding protectively around her. “Hey, Erin. How’s the little man doing?”
“Dr. Sheehan.” Erin’s voice was warm with welcome. “Always good to see you. Levi’s vitals improved once we got him settled. The BiPAP is working to keep his sats up. Dr. McIntyre is hopeful we can avoid the vent.”
“That’s good news. Thanks.” He showed Jordan the bags hanging from the pole. “One of those is antibiotics to fight off the pneumonia. This one is IVIG to help his immune system fight off the measles.”
Jordan nodded. She didn’t trust her voice. This little guy was depending on her and she was so out of her league.
The nurse, Erin, stepped out.
Ash pointed to two little red lights, one wrapped aroun
d Levi’s fingertip and one on his big toe. “Those are pulse oximeters. They tell us his oxygen level. That mask he has over his nose helps air get into his lungs, but if his oxygen saturation drops below 90 again, they’ll intubate him.”
“Is that blood? Why is he getting that?”
“Extra red blood cells make it easier for his blood to carry oxygen to his whole body.”
Jordan walked to the door, looked out at nothing and paced back again, nerves making her edgy, restless. “I know I should be relieved that he’s here and he’s stable, but instead I’m mad. This is too much. I don’t want him to be in the hospital again. He was just beginning to trust me.”
“He’s not going to lose that trust, Jordan. He loves you and he’s going to depend on you while he’s here to be his safe place.”
“You think so?” She desperately wanted it to be true. They had both worked so hard the past few weeks to overcome the trauma that Levi experienced and begin to bond.
“Yes, I do. He needs you.” He pulled her closer into the circle of his arm and she leaned in.
He was so calm and she just was...not. “Thank you for being here with us, Ash.”
“Where else would I be?”
She looked at her phone. It was almost one in the morning. “I don’t know. Asleep? You have patients tomorrow.”
“I’ll grab a nap in the on-call room later, no big deal. Why don’t you sit down in that recliner for a bit while I’m here to keep an eye on Levi?”
Jordan sat down. She’d been up for days with a very sick toddler, but she couldn’t relax. Her mind knew there was nothing left for her to do, but her body hadn’t caught up with her mind, apparently.
“Close your eyes. I’ll be right here.”
Just that one statement seemed to still the panicked beating of her heart. She knew she could take Ash at his word. Through heavy-lidded eyes, she watched him as he checked Levi’s IVs with gentle fingers, and nearly came undone as he brushed a kiss across the small forehead.
A Baby for the Doctor Page 8
