“What were you going to say, Mallory? What were you going to say about me and Derek?” I demanded.
“What do you think I was going to say, Jaicey?”
“I don’t know what you were going to say.”
“Never mind.” She looked down, nodding.
“Mallory?” I asked her, my voice testy. I was done dancing around this.
“Okay, Jaice, enough with the small talk. I mean, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells here. I don’t know what I can say and what I can’t. I don’t want to upset you or break the rules. I just want my friend back. I just want to be able to talk to you, like we used to. This is all just so confusing.”
I stared at her in disbelief. What did that even mean?
She dropped her fork, covering her mouth. “Oh, look at me being selfish. Jaicey. I didn’t mean that. Sometimes I don’t think before I speak. My momma always says it’s going to get me into trouble someday. Just ignore me. If it’s confusing for me I can’t even imagine what this must be like for you.”
She reached for my hand again but I kept it just out of her reach. Eventually she pulled hers back and picked up her fork again.
“The point is, we miss you. We all really, really miss you. We want to see you again, to hang out with you. We want it to go back to the way it was. I know after everything you’ve been through, that must be hard. God, I can’t imagine what this must be like for you, but if you’ll just talk to us, tell us what’s going on inside of your mind, we’ll try to help you. We want to help, but we can’t when you keep pushing us all away. We’re your friends, girl. We love you.” She took a deep breath, begging me to say something.
I didn’t know what to say. I just stared around at different parts of the room. Finally deciding to speak, I tucked my hair behind my ear, trying to hide my panic and stood up. “Umm, I have to go to the bathroom.”
She frowned as I stood up, walking out the door and to the nearest bus stop. When I looked back, she was staring at me through the glass, a look of sheer disappointment on her face. She didn’t stand up, she didn’t come after me, and she didn’t try to stop me. Instead, she watched me leave, keeping her distance. A look of understanding filled her face.
Chapter 11
Brayden wasn’t at school Wednesday or Thursday, and he wasn’t returning my calls. Panic was starting to set in. I went to each class trying to act as though I wasn’t worried, but my whole body was on edge. Where was he? Was he still mad? Why wouldn’t he just talk to me?
I saw Derek in the hall a few times. He looked bad. His lips and eyes were still swollen. We avoided eye contact. Finally, on Friday, Brayden called.
“Hey,” he said casually as if he’d just spoken to me hours ago.
“Hey? Really? What is going on, Brayden? Where are you? I haven’t heard from you in three days, you haven’t called, and you haven’t shown up at school. Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been about you? I didn’t know what was happening, what I was supposed to do. And then you just call and say hey? Like nothing happened? Like we’re fine. Are we fine?”
“Look, I’m sorry, Jaice. I was just stressed out, okay? I had to blow off some steam.”
“And you do that by disappearing? By ignoring me? You could’ve at least let me know that you were okay.”
“I know, I know.” He still sounded angry. “Look, do you want to hang out with me or would you rather just keep being pissed off?”
I stopped, biting my lip. “I’m not—”
“You are.”
“Fine, I am. I just missed you. I’m sorry. I was just so worried.”
He sighed. “I know. I’m sorry too. It was just, seeing him kiss you drove me insane. You’re my girl, Jaicey Thomas. Mine. I don’t ever want to see you with anyone else. I don’t know what I’d do.”
“You’re right. I’m your girl. Yours and only yours, and no matter what anyone does nothing will ever change that. Do you hear me?”
“Promise me?”
“I promise.”
“So, let’s hang out.”
***
Brayden was at my house nearly fifteen minutes after we hung up. I opened the door and dragged him inside. “Come on! Come on!”
He followed me to the bedroom. “What are we doing?”
“I have to show you my dress,” I shouted proudly, running past Mom and Dad.
“Hey, Brayden.” They waved as we shot through the house.
He waved happily to them. When we entered my room, I shot straight for my closet and he sat down on the bed. I grabbed hold of the hanger, excitement filling me.
“Dum-da-da-dum,” I announced as I twirled around in circles with it, the red fabric swirling around my legs.
He smiled.
“Well? What do you think?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.
“I think you’re beautiful.” He stood up, pulling me to him and kissing me square on the lips.
“Well, thanks.” I smiled at him, blushing. “But I was actually showing you the dress.”
He let go of me. “Oh, I hadn’t even noticed that.” He stared down at it. “Well, it’s beautiful too.”
Blood rushed to my cheeks. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too,” he said, pressing his lips to mine. He took the dress from me and hung it up carefully. Then he grabbed my hand and led me to the bed.
“Are you ready for tomorrow night?” I asked.
“Of course I am. I have such a night planned for us you wouldn’t believe it.”
“Oh you do?” I asked, my eyebrows raised.
He kissed me. “I do.”
“I can’t wait.” He held my hand, kissing each of my fingers tenderly.
“Promise me something?” I asked.
“Anything,” he swore, still kissing my hand.
“Whatever has been going on, no matter what it is from here on out, please don’t block me out like this. Please. Just talk to me. No matter what it is, I’m here. I can handle it. I need you to stay with me, no matter what.”
He pulled me to his side, wrapping his arm around my neck. “I promise, Jaice. I told you I’m sorry. It’s just that I told you about my mom, and with my dad working all the time, and well, I’ve never really had someone care about me. I’ve never had anyone to answer to.”
I hugged him back. “Well, I’m here now. You have me, and I care. I care a lot.”
He kissed the side of my head, my pulse quickening, this time in a good way. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He pulled away, staring at me, shock on his face. “I mean it; I’ve been thinking about it nonstop lately. I love you, Brayden. I love you so much,” I admitted.
His face fell flat, warmth filling his eyes. “I told you I’d wait,” he whispered in my ear as he hugged me tight. He pulled me into a kiss, our lips meeting with a passion we’d never had before. My cheeks burned, blushing. We lay down on the bed, his hands cradling my head. I kissed him like I’d never kissed anyone. Or like I never remember kissing anyone. My body turned frigid. I flinched under his touch for the first time in ages. He let me go, sitting up.
“Brayden, I—” I tried to apologize, but there was nothing to be said. Words failed me.
“It’s fine,” he said. I hoped that he meant it. He stood up, turning toward the door.
“Please don’t go. I’m sorry. It’s just instinct.”
“Why? Why is it instinct?” He spun, his hands in the air. “Why is it not okay for me to disappear for a few days but it’s fine for you to flinch every time I touch you?”
I looked at the hurt in his face. He was silently begging me for answers I didn’t know myself.
“Someone hurt you,” he said. It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway.
“Who?” He walked closer to me, his arms ready to hold me.
I paused, thinking long and hard. What answer could he handle? What answer could I give?
“Who hurt you, Jaicey?” he asked, his voice growing fir
m. He grasped my arms, not in a hurtful way, but enough to make me flinch again. “For God’s sake, Jaicey, tell me.”
“I don’t…I don’t know,” I said, trying to keep my voice under control.
He dropped my arms. “You don’t know?”
I shook my head, rubbing my arms where his hands had been. “No.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I just don’t know.” I wished I could tell him more, wished I had more to tell. Instead, I stared at him solemnly, waiting for his response.
He turned back for the door. “Fine. Whatever.”
“Brayden, please. I want to tell you, I do. I just…I don’t know. Please. Please don’t leave. Not like this.”
“Like what?” He turned back to me.
“Angry. Mad. Whatever you are.”
“I’m not angry, Jaicey. I’m not mad. I’m hurt. I’m hurt that you don’t trust me, but it’s fine. It’s whatever.”
“It’s not fine. I know that. I’m sorry.”
He waited for me to elaborate but I didn’t. Instead, he grasped the door handle.
“Please don’t leave while we’re fighting.” I felt tears forming in my eyes.
“We aren’t fighting, Jaice.” He stared at me sadly.
“We aren’t?”
He shook his head.
“Then where are you going?”
“Away.” He kissed my head quickly. “Now it’s your turn to wait.”
“I love you,” I called after him, wishing he’d come back but he was already out the door.
“I love you too,” he replied. Just as quickly as he’d come, he was gone.
Chapter 12
The next day was pure chaos. I shot out of bed at 4:04, as always. This time, however, I was grateful for the early start. I hopped in the shower, letting the warm water and steam steady my nerves. I had never been so excited and nervous all at once. I ran a bath and let myself soak until I heard my mother in the kitchen at six.
After breakfast we headed to the salon, where my mom paid seventy-five dollars to have someone pull and prod every inch of my head until my hair looked, in her words, “fabulous!” At the end of the appointment she’d attempted to turn me around for what she called “the big reveal”. Mom grabbed my chair seconds before I’d seen the mirror and shouted, “Sorry, we’re in a hurry. She looks great.” She paid while I, still shaking, waited in the car.
By the end of the day my hair had been done, my nails had been painted, makeup had been layered on my face, and I had about a gallon of perfume on. As I slipped the sweater over my dress, my mom came into the room.
“You almost ready, honey?” she asked, sticking her head through the doorway. She gasped when she saw me, tears instantly filling her eyes. “Oh, Jaicey.”
“Do I look okay?” I asked, knowing the answer by the look on her face.
“Oh, sweetheart. You look beautiful.” She smiled at me, twirling a strand of my hair around her finger and letting it bounce back into place beside my face. I turned around, holding my hair up to allow her to zip the dress. She did. “I’m going to go ahead back downstairs and get the camera. Give me a minute to make it down before you start coming.”
I nodded. She patted me on the cheek once, covering her mouth with one hand, tears still framing her eyes, and then she walked out of the room. I twirled around my room, feeling as if I were five years old and dressed up as a princess again. I ran my hands down my hips, trying to imagine what I must look like, trying to draw out my time until I descended the stairs. Finally, the clock struck eight o’clock. It was still too early for Brayden to have arrived, but I could think of nothing else to do. I picked up my heels and began to carry them down the stairs.
Mom had the camera ready as soon as I came out of my room. “You look beautiful, honey. Doesn’t she look great, Chuck?” she cried, snapping pictures. My dad stood up from his chair, his mouth agape as he watched me walk toward him.
“You look amazing, sweetheart,” he said finally, agreeing with my mom. As I reached the bottom of the stairs and stood in front of him, he held his arms out and took me into them.
He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly as I heard Mom snapping pictures.
“All right, now pretend like you’re dancing with her, Chuck,” she instructed.
Dad and I posed as we were directed. He kissed me on the forehead, and Mom took one more snapshot. We both smiled at each other sadly, knowing we would never see these pictures. There wasn’t a single picture more recent than my fifteenth birthday in the entire house. It was like we’d just stopped existing, like life had stopped altogether. In a way, I guess it had.
Once the picture-taking stopped, I sat down in Dad’s chair and pulled up the bottom of my dress slightly, offering up my shoes. “Pretty please?” I asked.
Dad laughed. “As you wish, Cinderella.” He bent down to help me buckle my shoes. Mom snapped another picture.
“So are you nervous, Jaice?” she asked.
“A little bit, yeah,” I admitted. “Mostly just excited though.”
“It’ll be fine. I promise. You guys will have so much fun. You’ll never want it to end. Prom is just so magical. Did I ever tell you it was at our prom that I decided I was going to marry your father?”
“No.” I shook my head. “You never told me that.”
“You never even told me that,” my dad joked, standing up. He chortled under his breath.
“It sure was. It really is a special night.” She nodded, a distant smile on her face.
“Well, I don’t think we’re quite there yet, but I still think we’ll have a lot of fun,” I joked.
Dad was still laughing. I looked over at him. “You okay over there, Dad?” I asked, but it was obvious he wasn’t okay. His laughter had turned into more of a choking fit, his face turning a deep shade of purple, and he was making a weird sort of clicking noise with his tongue. A seizure. He fell to the ground, thudding as he landed.
My mom immediately went into action, grabbing my dad and turning him on his side so that he wouldn’t choke on his tongue. “Chuck! It’s okay, it’s okay.” She was using the same soothing voice that she had so often used with me when I was growing up.
“Do I need to call nine-one-one?” I asked, snapping back into action.
He stopped shaking, stiff as a board. She shook her head, starting to lift him into a standing position. “No. We’ll just have to take him to the ER anyway.” She looked me up and down, realization setting in on her face. “Jaicey, I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, there’ll be other dances, other dates. Brayden will understand.”
She walked him out to the car and got him buckled in while I was grabbing my jacket and cell phone, trying to find Brayden’s number. My hands were shaking. I was inconsolable. She met me at the door, her hand held up in protest, shaking her head fiercely. “No. This is your night, Jaice. Your father would never forgive himself if you missed it. You stay. We’ll be home as soon as possible. Have fun, sweetheart, and be safe. We love you. You look beautiful.” She kissed my cheek, running her fingers over my hair one last time.
“No, Mom, please. I want to go with you.”
“No, Jaicey. This isn’t a negotiation. You are going to prom. The doctor will take a look at your dad and send us straight home. You would have missed this night all for nothing. I won’t allow it. You stay. Have fun.” She shut the door, and just like that, she was gone.
***
It was nearly nine o’clock and I was a mess. “Mom, please call me. I need to know what’s going on,” I shouted into my phone. “It’s been almost an hour and you aren’t answering your phone. Should I be worried? I just, I need to know. Please call me.” I hung up the phone after leaving my second voicemail, and my strength finally shattered. The tears that had been building up in my eyes were now pouring down my face, ruining all of my makeup. I was a cliché, crying on prom night, and the worst part was I hadn’t even made it to prom yet.
&
nbsp; Nothing about this night was right. This was supposed to be my special night, and it had started out as a big catastrophe. I wasn’t in the mood to dance anymore, and I wasn’t in the mood to have fun. I just wanted more than anything to be there with my mom and my dad as they talked to the doctor. It wasn’t right for me to be here, waiting to go have the time of my life while my dad was lying on a cold table, having tests run on him in a smelly hospital. None of this was right.
That was all it took. I stood up, grabbing my cell phone and finding Brayden’s number. I threw my jacket hastily over my shoulders as his line began ringing. I swung the door open and let out a scream. There was Brayden, standing in my doorway, arm up, ready to knock. I put the phone down. My jaw dropped.
“Oh, Brayden. Hi,” I mumbled, wiping off my face and blinking quickly in an attempt to dry my eyes.
Without hesitation he cradled my face, pushing me into the living room. “Jaicey, what’s wrong?” he asked with urgency. “What happened? You weren’t about to bail on me, were you?”
Something about him was off that night. I should’ve noticed it immediately, but with everything going on inside my head, I just didn’t. I sniffed. “I’m okay. It’s just my dad.”
“Your dad?” he asked.
“Yes. I haven’t told you yet. I haven’t told anyone. But he’s…my dad is sick. He’s really, really sick and I need to go see him right now. He needs me. I’m sorry. I know it’s the worst possible timing, but I just need to be with him. This doesn’t feel right.”
Despite what I had said, he didn’t move out of the way to let me leave or offer me a ride. Instead, he shut the door and gently pushed me backwards. “Whoa, whoa, calm down, Jaice. It’s okay. Just breathe for me, okay? Slow down. Let’s talk about this some more before you decide anything.”
I didn’t bother resisting. Instead, I let him sit me down on the couch. I took a deep breath as he began rubbing my back patiently. “Now, calm down. Let’s start from the beginning, okay? Slowly. Tell me what’s going on.”
The Truth About My Scratches (The Carolina Killer Files #3) Page 9
