by Dez Burke
Chapter 18: Jasalyn
The lake party went by much quicker than I would have liked. Alex’s friends made me feel like I had always been part of their group. Some of them even asked me how Alex was really doing. They seemed to be genuinely concerned about him, but knew better than to pry. I didn’t feel comfortable talking about Alex behind his back, so I told them that he was readjusting to civilian life at his own pace, and if they wanted to know more they would have to ask him.
I was thankful that they understood and didn’t push for answers. If they had they would have seen a side of me that didn’t come out often. A side of me that is fiercely protective of my man. It didn’t make a difference that they were only trying to be good friends. You don’t dig uninvited into someone’s emotional baggage. No one likes that shit. And I knew Alex especially wouldn’t.
We slept in the bed of Alex’s truck. It was the first time I had ever been camping, although Alex teased me that I called it camping. To me I was at the lake, sleeping under the stars. It was as close as I wanted to be to nature. Either I slept too well to notice them, or Alex didn’t have his usual night terrors. If he did he didn’t tell me, and I was afraid to ask. During our waking hours he seemed so happy, and I didn’t want to crush the fragile reality that he was creating for himself.
The weekend ended just as quickly as it began, but I didn’t want to go back to the city. I didn’t want to face the results of my finals, nor the concrete jungle that kept Alex constantly on edge. I had to force myself into the truck. I felt like a teenager being forced home from the best party of senior year. The good vibes still clung to me, but they were fading quickly because I knew reality was just around the corner.
Chapter 19: Alex
As the weeks went on, I began to find myself settling back into my own skin. Things went at an easy pace for the most part. I had more good nights than bad, but the bad ones seemed to be more intense than ever.
My mother left for Colorado, and we hadn’t heard a word from my father. I didn’t let Jasalyn know, but I worried about them both. Mom had went straight from her parent’s house to my father’s. She’d never been independent or lived alone. I didn’t know how well she’d fair without him. You get used to people being around, even if they’re assholes. I was worried about my father, because his whole adult life, Mom had taken care of him. I knew he could do those things himself, but I wondered if this blow would be too much for him to handle. A lot of his bullshit came from his own weakness in character, so I feared that sooner or later I’d get a call that he offed himself. As much as I hated the bastard, no one deserves to go out like that.
Chapter 20: Jasalyn
I aced my finals! When I received the results I hosted a party, inviting my friends and family. I even left a phone invitation for Alex’s dad. He didn’t show up or respond, but I hadn’t expected him to. Maybe part of me just wanted to rub it in his face that I was succeeding.
The weeks turned into months and I picked up a few shifts a week at the hospital. The first few weeks my stomach knotted up whenever I was faced with a patient. My hands would shake and I’d stutter. I got through it by thinking of how brave Alex and my brother had been when facing much scarier things than sick, cranky people. Eventually I relaxed into my niche and it became just another aspect of my life.
I started taking birth control again, because one night Alex and I forgot the condom. Maybe, I shouldn’t say forgot. We had both been too anxious to take the time to drive out to the drug store to pick them up. After that scare, I went back on the pill.
It made our lovemaking more spontaneous, and I loved it. My relationship with Alex had changed after our first time, but not in the bad ways that others had. We were still about more than sex. Alex and I talked for hours at a time. Our relationship changed in those little silly ways like I didn’t lock the bathroom door now when I took a shower. I could rush around naked in the morning after having a quickie that took my breath away.
Neither of my previous two boyfriends had been much for foreplay, but Alex seemed to enjoy burying his face in my crotch and staying down there until I was yelling out in pleasure and couldn’t take it any more.
He’d lick my clit and probe his tongue into me for what seemed like hours. He was also more adventurous than the other men I had dated. I wasn’t too thrilled when he first brought home the bondage kit. The idea of being tied to the bed kind of scared me. I trust Alex, but the thought of a fire while I’m bound to a bed and can’t escape scared me to death. I was nearly giddy with relief when he said it was for me to tie him to the bed.
Now I’ve always been a dominate female, and I’m not afraid to take charge in the bedroom, but this was a whole knew world for me. What the hell was I suppose to do once I had him tied to the bed? Even more than that, once I had him tied up what happened if he had a flashback? I put the kit in the closet and thought about it for days. Alex laughed at my fears and seemed confident the bondage wouldn’t trigger memories of Iraq.
“Sex with you is never going to trigger a memory of Iraq,” he said against my breasts.
In the end I decided that it had enough potential to be worth the possible risks. I planned ahead, putting the scissors on the nightstand in case I needed to cut him loose quickly.
Before Alex got home from hanging out with Riley, I dressed in my sexiest red lace negligee. The color was the perfect contrast against my skin. I also put on my favorite gold rings and bracelets since they had always made me feel sexy and powerful.
I looked at myself in the mirror and realized how happy I looked. There was a light in my eyes that hadn’t been there a few months ago. I knew that light had grown there because of Alex coming into my life.
“You look damn sexy, girl,” I told myself in the mirror, “Now, just don’t make a fool of yourself in front of your man.”
I walked into the living room to wait. I prayed that Alex didn’t take too long, because I was already wet. Sometimes just thinking about sex with that man would get me wet.
“Hurry up, Alex, or I might start without you,” I thought as I fell back onto the sofa.
Chapter 21: Alex
I swung by the adult novelty store to buy a clit vibrator. I wanted to find one of those that you could wear on your tongue, hoping that Jasalyn would get a kick out it, but I went home with more than I had planned.
The bondage kit had been an impulse buy. I was wandering around the store, not really wanting to ask the female sales people where the clit vibrators were and ended up in an aisle of things I had never thought much about. Most of the merchandise looked pretty painful or dangerous, making the bondage kit look meek in comparison.
For a moment I imagined myself tied to the bed and at the mercy of Jasalyn, and felt something stir inside of me. Just not to have to think about the situation for a moment would be a relief. Maybe it would give me the freedom I had been looking for.
I’ve never been a freak. I’m not into pain, giving or receiving. Sex is supposed to feel good, but bondage didn’t seem too out there. I expected Jasalyn to be reluctant, and had given it up as a lost cause when she put the kit away on the top shelf of her closet, but a few days later I found out just how wrong as I was.
I came home to find Jasalyn playing with herself on the sofa. It was the first time I had seen her working her soft fingers over her own body. Her middle finger was curled into the dampness that my cock had come to call home, and her thumb massaged her swollen clit. Her other hand was squeezing her breast that had fallen from the bounds of her red nightie. I almost dropped the groceries when I walked in.
For a moment I stood there thinking about how beautiful she was and how lucky I was to be the only man that would ever see her like this. When she noticed me she smiled and shook her head.
“Are you going to make me do all the work tonight? I think I’m going to get enough exercise when I tie you to the bed.” She beckoned me to her with a movement of a single finger. My cock reacted as if the invitation was aimed at it
alone. It became hard pushing against the fabric of my jeans.
Chapter 22: Jasalyn
I felt a coy smile play at my lips as I watched Alex’s cock become hard through his jeans. It always delighted me to see how much he wanted me. I licked my lips as he sat the groceries down and hurried over to me. Grabbing his t-shirt, I pulled him down into a long passionate kiss. My tongue darted into his mouth and engaged his. I deepened the kiss, scraping my teeth gently against his lips. Alex knelt down onto his knees and groped my breasts. My nipples were already hard, so every little touch made my clit twitch. I moaned loudly into the kiss and let one of my legs drop from the sofa.
Alex knew what my body wanted, and he was more than happy to oblige. He kissed down my body until he reached my sex. His strong hand cupped my mound and squeezed it gently.
I sighed in pleasure as I felt his fingers trace the lips of my pussy before parting them further. He grinned at me as his index finger flicked back and forth across my clit. Alex kept eye contact with me as he lowered his mouth towards my cunt. My hips bucked into him when he nibbled my clit without warning. It didn’t hurt, but sent my body into overdrive. I was quickly moving into the head-space where everything felt good, almost too good.
Alex’s fingers thrust in and out of my pussy, while his mouth held my swollen little nub captive. My eyes rolled back in my head and I lost track of time. I squeezed my nipples adding to my pleasure as my climax neared. Alex withdrew his fingers and I felt his tongue lapping at the entry to my body. My hands ran over his head, tugging at the hair that had grown back since he returned from Iraq.
I panted as his tongue probed into my body, making me squirm. My body shuddered in orgasm, but Alex was relentless. His tongue continued to lick my cunt again and again, until finally I had to pull him away. I kissed him passionately and placed his hands on my breasts. He massaged them, teasing my nipples, as I tried to catch my breath.
I led Alex into the bedroom by the hand and had him undress for me. Men often take for granted that women enjoy looking at their bodies, just as much as they enjoy looking at ours. I watched as Alex undressed slowly. Sure, I had seen his body a hundred times over, but I like a good show every now and then.
Once he was nude I took a moment to take in his body, which had become my territory. His blue eyes were lustful as I took in the sight of his muscular chest and broad shoulders. His six pack moved as his panted with desire. My eyes lingered on his hard cock as I beckoned him to me.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed so I could easily wrap my arms around his waist. I was still nervous about using the bondage stuff, but thought if I kept to the stuff we did anyway, it couldn’t do any harm.
I rested my head against his stomach for a moment and took a deep breath, before wrapping my hand around his throbbing member. I squeezed him gently, and stroked him a few times. A promise of the night ahead of us.
I pulled him onto the bed and bound his wrists to the bed posts. I had decided against the legs bonds, because I wanted Alex to still be able to move a little. Looking down into his eyes I knew I had made the right decision. I straddled his stomach and kissed him.
He looked more relaxed than I had seen him before. His body was tense with desire, but if it wasn’t I would have thought I was doing something wrong. Alex kissed me back and nibbled on my lip. For a long time we just kissed. It felt nice to make-out with him without having to worry about what came next. I had always loved to live in the present moment, and this gave me the opportunity to explore it to the fullest.
Alex’s hips were arching into the air letting me know that his hardness was becoming uncomfortable. I stroked him a few times. Alex moaned as my hand worked over his strong shaft.
With my free hand I played with Alex’s nipples. Both of my exes had hated it when I tried to play with theirs. They had said it made them feel like girls. It wasn’t that I was trying to emasculate anyone, I just have a fascination with nipples. I know how good it feels when mine are being worked so I like to return the favor. It’s always made me wet at how Alex never complains about it, but instead enjoys it. Most men only focus on their penises thinking that all their pleasure has to come from that single point on their body. They don’t know how wrong they are.
I licked over Alex’s nipples and down his stomach. My tongue traced the lines of his six-pack until I reached his happy trail. There was something about those little blonde hairs and what they led to that made me rub my thighs together in anticipation.
My tongue licked over his abs, before I turned my attention to his throbbing manhood. I looked into his eyes as I stroked him quicker and faster working him close to the edge, but not pushing him over. I didn’t want tonight to end without feeling his powerful muscle inside of my still hungry body.
I licked his shaft flicking my tongue back and forth as I moved up and down. My tongue traced from the tip of his hardness down to his hilt and then over his balls. I felt Alex quiver and knew that I was bringing him closer and closer. I had to be careful or I was going to push him over the edge too soon. I could feel his pre-cum leaking onto my fingers as I stroked him. I gave his hard-on one last lick and decided it was time for the main course.
I straddled him and slid down onto his manhood. A gasp of pleasure passed my lips as I consumed him to the hilt. It felt good to have him inside of me. I loved the feeling of being connected to my man. It made me feel secure and loved. It reminded me that for better or worse we were together.
I squeezed him and began to move slowly. Alex’s sky blue eyes were locked to mine and I had never felt so connected to him. It was different not feeling his hands caressing my body as I moved over his shaft, but there was something about the situation that made me feel closer to him. Maybe it was how much trust he was putting into me.
I leaned down and brushed my lips against his. Alex kissed me hungrily. Our tongues danced in their familiar rhythms as I made love to him. I nibbled his earlobes as I moved my body over his hardness again and again.
“I love you, Alex,” I whispered in his ear. “I love you so much. I want to be with you forever.”
The truth of my words hit me harder than I had expected. It was that moment that I realized I had never been in love before, not for real.
I’d been in the state of love that said, “I’ll do this for you, if you do that for me. That I’d give up X for you, if you stayed away from X.”
But I realized there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Alex. He meant more to me than anyone I had ever known. Tears were flowing down my cheeks and I rested my head against his shoulder as I moved over him slowly. There was something raw and real about our sex tonight.
“I love you, too, Jasalyn,” Alex said, resting his cheek against my head, “I don’t think I would have survived without you.”
I knew how hard it was for Alex to say that. Men didn’t like to admit things like that. I sat up and kissed his gently. I kissed his eyelids and nose, his cheeks, and finally his lips. I had to wipe away my tears so that I could see.
I moved slowly over him inching us towards release, but I didn’t lose eye contact with him. I wanted to see the pleasure, lust, and love dance through them. My pussy held tight to his manhood as I rode him. My every move was slow, loving, and deliberate. When my orgasm finally washed over me it was slow and subtle, but quickly built into fierce waves that swept over my very soul.
I kept riding Alex until I felt him explode inside of me. From how his eyes rolled back I knew that his orgasm was just as intense as mine. I kissed Alex and then fumbled with the bounds impatiently. I wanted to feel my man’s arms around me, holding me close.
“Just cut the damn things!” Alex ordered.
Chapter 23: Alex
There was something significant about watching Jasalyn cut the ties from the bondage kit. It was something so mundane and practical, yet it felt like so much more. I felt as if she was cutting me loose from my past. From the things I had seen and been forced to do to survive in Iraq.
> As soon as my arms were free I pulled Jasalyn close and nuzzled my face into her breasts. Tears threatened to fall, but I didn’t want them to. I had experienced enough sorrow and regret from my time in Iraq. I wanted my life to be mine again. I didn’t want it to be one big tour of Iraq.
I felt Jasalyn’s fingers move through my short hair. It was coming back in nicely, but I had almost buzzed it again out of habit. Jasalyn had stopped me, and now I was glad she had. I was beginning to look like the man I was before I enlisted.
I looked up at Jasalyn and kissed her. She was still crying. I wiped away her tears and smiled at her.
“I love you,” I told her again. “I love you so much.”
I felt like I could have repeated those words again for every second I had left to live and still couldn’t express how much she meant to me.
“I love you too, baby,” she said and kissed me back.
We fell asleep, kissing and cuddling. When I drifted off to sleep Iraq was the last thing on my mind, but memories that I had suppressed decided it was time to piss on my parade. I woke covered in a cold sweat and trembling. I jumped up ready to fight and nearly fell out of bed.
“Alex!” Jasalyn gasped, startled.
“I’m okay,” I replied panting, my fist still balled in front of me.
After a few seconds I sat down and leaned back against the headboard. My mind was racing. Image after image sprung before my eyes whether I kept them closed or open.
Jasalyn crawled into my lap and looked into my eyes. She put a hand on either side of my face.
“Alex, you’re here with me,” she whispered softly, beckoning me back to the moment, but I was stuck in the past.
