'Never say never, Annie, but I'm concentrating only on Weegies for the foreseeable future. They're a bit more down to earth and usually don't have their heads stuck halfway up their arse. While we're on the subject of internet dating, has Mr Davidson taken my advice and dipped his big toe into the water yet?'
'Well Jack can be a real dark horse, as you know. But I did pass on your suggestion and he listened, but didn't say any more about it for about a week. But, between you and me, I think he's actually been dipping a bit more than his big toe.'
'The jammy bastard,' snorted Peg. 'I've been going through a dry spell myself recently on the rumpo front.'
'Really?'
'Yeah, it's been well over a fortnight since I had a seeing-to and I'm starting to come out in big red blotches. What I really need is a good sweaty sha …'
Annie looked around the bar and blushed with embarrassment, before hissing, 'please auntie, try and keep your voice down, will you? Everybody in the bar has stopped talking and they're all staring at us.’
'Yeah, like I care,’ said an unconcerned Peggie, who immediately increased the volume, glaring at the remaining drinkers in the pub and daring any of them to respond. Wisely, to a man, they kept their heads down as if in communal prayer. And if any were in any doubt as to exactly where they stood in her estimation, that matter was swiftly clarified. ‘They're a bunch of wimps and losers, the lot of them, and if they don't like it in here they can just fuck off somewhere else.’
‘Look, I could lend you my latest box set if that would help,’ said Annie, swiftly trying to change the subject. ‘It's called "House of Cards" and it's absolutely terrific. You could watch it in bed when you get home from work and it might take your mind off … you know.'
‘Is Richard Gere, or George Clooney in it?’
'No, sorry, it's Kevin Spacey. Not the same thing, I know. But he is very good.’
Chapter 34
Annie was still smiling broadly, following the chat with her indomitable aunt, when she arrived back at the JD Investigations office.
'I can tell, just by looking, that you've been round at the Royal Bar,' said Jack. 'How's your scary aunt Peggie?'
'She's not scary, at all. She's sweet and half an hour spent with her always cheers me up. It's so great to have someone like her in my life I can talk to about absolutely anything. Although to be fair, this time she did most of the talking, mainly complaining about her love life.'
'I'd like to think that you can talk to me about anything as well, Annie.'
'Yeah, I know, but it's just different when it's another woman.'
'Ain't that the truth,' said Jack.
'But it wasn't all about her, because she was also asking about you. You know, about when you came back to work and how you're feeling.'
'I know her, she's a nosy old cow. I'll bet she was wondering if I've tried internet dating yet.'
'No, that's totally private. She didn't ask and I wouldn't have told her anything even if she had. You know that.'
Jack gave her an old fashioned look, which suggested he didn't know anything of the sort and asked, 'do you think Jamie will have anything for us yet? You know, if he's managed to hack into Henry's office email account?'
'It's maybe too soon, but I'll check right now.'
Annie pulled a Samsung tablet from inside her courier bag and fired it up. 'This is an old clunker I haven't used for yonks. It's really slow but it does still work and I'm going to use it exclusively for any email traffic to do with the hack. That way there will be no electronic trail of any kind leading back to any of our office computers, iPads or phones, just in case things should go wrong somewhere down the line.'
'Good thinking, Annie. The old belt and braces strategy, I like that.'
Annie logged into an email account specifically set up by Jamie for the purpose, before punching the air and exclaiming, 'well done, Jamie, you're a star. He got us in, boss. Apparently Henry read your spoof rugby babes email about an hour ago and immediately opened the attachment about the best ever Weegie joke. So we're now good to go, with the keylogger software up and running in the background on his office computer.'
'Look, I know that Jamie explained it all to us before, and I pretended to understand, but remind me again how this works, Annie. Idiot’s version.'
'Okay, it's scarily simple really. Once the email attachment is opened, the key-logger software installs on the target computer and from that point on it records all keystrokes, including any passwords, and uploads the data logs to a secret server. I'll be able to access these data logs anytime I want, by logging into an online account that comes with the key-logger program. Jamie's set it all up for me and I can get on it right away. Remember how Jamie said employers use these key-logger programs all the time to keep an eye on the troops? Well, apparently, some parents are also using them to see what kind of naughty stuff their little angels are getting up to online in their bedrooms, when they should be getting stuck into their homework.'
'I'm not sure if that's such a good idea,' said Jack. 'They're probably better not knowing.'
'So from now on, apart from being able to read all of Henry's business emails, I'll also be able to check out his browsing history and any searches he's made on Google or Bing. When you think about it, it's almost like being able to see the private thoughts inside someone's brain. You know, what they're worrying about, what they want, what they need, their dating profiles and even what kind of sexual fantasies they're having.'
'You can tell all of that?' said Jack, suddenly concerned. 'By the way, you haven't slipped one of these key-logger whotsits onto my iPad, have you?’
'No, of course not. What a thing to suggest. But it's obvious isn't it? Everybody does searches online about stuff that they wouldn't necessarily speak to anyone else about.'
'Sorry, Annie. But I can see now why it's illegal. What a gift to a nosy private investigator. Someone like me.'
'I think I'll try and get into a routine of checking Henry's computer every couple of hours, so that we're always up to speed on what's happening. Of course, he's probably using a smartphone and maybe a tablet as well as his office computer, and we've no access to those. But still, this is a good start because otherwise we'd be completely in the dark.'
'I suspect that Henry's old school, a bit like me, and probably naively assumes that his office computer, with some basic virus protection on it, is somehow safer and more secure than mobile devices. So, obviously, there are no guarantees but this is definitely worth a try. At least we might get some kind of a head's up on the kind of jam that Henry and his boss are in and why we're being invited to join the fun. But it is scary that it’s so easy to do this.'
'The reality is that nothing's totally safe and secure any more, boss. If bad people are determined to access your computer, they will. Just like a top burglar can get into any house. Okay, the alarm might sound and the police might come, but he'll still have a few minutes to look around inside and lift your car keys. Although, to be fair, that’s one thing you don’t need to worry about.’
'Cheers for that, Annie. But, actually, I don't think anyone should be counting on the cops turning out with the blue flashers on for a home burglary anymore, Annie. I’m not making this up, but a police response in some parts of the country actually depends on whether your house has an odd or an even number. Or whether there are any dead bodies or severed limbs lying around on the living room carpet. It's totally nuts.’
Chapter 35
Next morning, at ten o'clock, when Jack and Annie arrived in Edinburgh to start work at the Moray Place townhouse, they were warmly greeted by Henry, who ushered them into a comfortable sitting room at the front of the property, on the ground floor.
'Please go in and take a seat guys, while I organise some coffee. We can catch up for ten minutes and then I'll take your cases upstairs and get you settled in properly. Guy said that he would catch up with you both shortly.'
As Henry left the room Jack said, 'when he comes back, I'm going to t
ry and pin him down about exactly why we're here. We'll tag team him, Annie, so feel free to chip into the conversation anytime you feel the urge.'
'Just try and stop me,' said Annie.
Henry returned carrying a tray with three mugs of coffee and a plate of biscuits. 'Ah, Hob Nobs,' said Annie with a sly smile. 'Jack tells me these are his absolute favourites after a night out.'
Ignoring his partner, Jack cut straight to the chase. 'Okay Henry, we're here and we're being well paid, so that's all good. But the problem is we still don't fully understand why we were chosen and what exactly it is we're supposed to be doing. Can you put a bit more meat on the bone for us?'
'That's a fair question, Jack. I think the best way to describe your task here for the next couple of weeks is a form of close protection work. But this isn't the usual style, where a couple of no-neck gorillas are employed to crack their knuckles and growl at anyone who comes too close to the client. Guy wanted something much more discreet, more in keeping with Edinburgh New Town, I suppose. So my brief was to bring in people who don't actually look like bodyguards, or hired muscle. Ideally he wanted two people, a male-female combo, who can take care of themselves, obviously. But, much more importantly, people who are flexible and capable of thinking outside the box. People who have good instincts for heading potential trouble off at the pass. He also requested individuals who are not well known in Edinburgh business circles and who, if necessary, can be passed off at business meetings as independent consultants, brought in by Guy to help smooth away any loose ends as the deadline for closing his big deal gets nearer.’
Jack interrupted Henry’s waffling and asked, ‘okay, I’m with you so far, Henry. But you still haven’t really answered my question.’
‘Look, you're both smart people and you'll have already gathered that there's a hell of a lot riding on this deal for everyone concerned, so I decided that it had to be someone I can trust straight out of the blocks. That meant bringing in someone I'd worked with previously. So, when I sat down and thought about what was required, it didn't take long for me to realise you were the person who ticked all the boxes on the job description, Jack. That's why I sent you the original email two weeks ago and then, when I found out Annie had recently come on board as your new partner, well that really clinched it for me. Believe me, you guys are the absolutely perfect fit for this job.'
'Yes but you must know that close protection work isn't really our thing, Henry. I mean back in the day, when I was a serving cop, I occasionally filled in as part of a specialised team of twelve people, whose job was to provide round the clock baby-sitting for key witnesses, or occasionally even the accused, in really high profile criminal trials at the High Court in Glasgow. But what you're talking about here is a completely different ball game.'
'You're absolutely right, Jack, but the good thing is you won't be needed 24/7 because Guy has recently had a high-tech panic room constructed in a box room on the top floor, just next to his office. Off the record, I think that tells you something about his current state of mind.’
'So, if the Vikings come ashore unexpectedly at Leith and come rampaging up through the New Town, raping and pillaging, Guy at least will be safe up in his panic room.’
'I know, Jack, frankly it's completely crazy. But that's where we are at the moment. And it'll probably only get worse until this deal is signed off by the lawyers and the bank. He's always been like this to a certain extent when the pressure is really on, but I've never seen him quite as bad as he is this time. To be perfectly honest I'm worried about him, Jack. I've tried several times to tactfully suggest that he should maybe get help and speak to somebody about it. But every time I mention it he blows his top. Truthfully, it's been like trying to walk on eggshells for me round here recently. That's why I'm really glad you and Annie are both on board. Like the old saying, a trouble shared is a trouble halved.'
'Or doubled,' added Annie with a smirk. 'Sorry, just kidding, Henry.'
‘But the big benefit of the panic room is that once Guy's back in the house and safely tucked away on the top floor, the pair of you are effectively finished work for the day. I think most days you'll probably just be working normal business hours, mainly hanging around here on the ground floor, checking any visitors in and out of the house and generally keeping an eye on things. There will also be the occasional trip, transporting Guy in the car to business meetings. I predict you'll both be bored stiff after a couple of days. But, there you go, apparently this is what's needed to make Guy feel safe and calm, while he's trying to concentrate on closing out the deal. Honestly guys, you wouldn't be here if I didn't think you could do it.'
Annie was also becoming bored with Henry's relentless flattery and said, 'but if we're here to guard Guy and, as you put it, try to head off trouble at the pass, then we really have to know a bit more about what's going on. I mean, what are the threats? Where is the pass? And who, specifically, is Guy worried about?'
Henry immediately became uncomfortable and was clearly on the back foot as he tried to respond. 'That's quite a tricky one for me to answer, Annie, because the deal is at such a critical stage. Just between you and me, I think things could go either way and Guy is totally strung out and paranoid about any leaks of confidential information, which could screw things up.'
'Look, Henry, I think we both get all of that,' said Jack. 'We've been hired to do a job here and we'll try our best to give value for money, but you've got to help us. We don't expect to be told every detail of what's obviously a commercially sensitive and complex deal. But if we're to try and prevent trouble, we have to know what direction it might be coming from. Some broad brush strokes would be enough and a few names we could then put faces to. I don't think that's unreasonable as a starting point, is it?'
'You're absolutely right, but I think it's best if I leave it to Guy to answer your questions. I'll go and check, but I'm sure he's set twenty minutes set aside in his diary for you both at eleven o'clock. You can ask him all of these questions then. After that, I'm not sure what his plans are for the rest of the day.'
'Doesn't he have a PA or a secretary to do all that kind of routine admin stuff for him?' enquired Annie.
'Yes he did, but I'm afraid she got the chop two weeks ago. Guy fired her when some sensitive details about the deal somehow found their way into the public domain. He decided that it could only have been her who was responsible, but I'm not so sure. His lawyer and the bank were also privy to a draft agreement for the purchase of a small piece of land next to the brewery site. Anyway, nobody could convince him otherwise. His mind was made up and so she had to go. I've been trying to help cover the admin side of things ever since she left. Guy didn't want to bring in somebody new from an agency at this stage of the game, so we've just kind of circled the wagons and hunkered down, Jack. That's why you and Annie have been invited on board to help with whatever needs doing.'
'We'll do our best, Henry,' said Jack.
'I know you will, guys. Okay, if you’ve finished with the coffee, I'll show you to your rooms. You're on the first floor at the front, Jack, and Annie has a nice big room on the second floor, overlooking the back garden. You'll have to excuse us if things are slightly untidy, because Guy also fired the housekeeper last week. So if you were expecting a fluff and tuck before bedtime, I'm afraid you're out of luck. He accused the poor woman of listening in to his phone calls and sacked her on the spot. So that's the state of play here in Moray Place at the moment, Jack. We've in complete lockdown.'
'Oh, and while I remember, Guy asked if you would take a look around the house first, before you meet up with him, so you can give an opinion on our security arrangements. I've made sure all of the rooms are unlocked and you're free to go everywhere, apart from the top floor suite which is completely secure and self-contained.'
'That’s not a problem, Henry, because we need to familiarise ourselves with the layout of the house anyway.'
'Great, so I'll leave you to it and give you a shout when Guy is f
ree. Oh, and just before you start your survey, I nearly forgot,' said Henry with a big grin. 'Did you guys see the story in the paper last week, about poor people in Scotland having fewer teeth than rich people? It got me thinking that, if the research is correct, then logically it follows that people who live in Glasgow must have even fewer teeth than anyone else in the rest of the country.'
'Why's that, Henry?' said Jack with a heavy sigh.
'Well I would have thought it's fairly obvious, isn't it? For a start, Glasgow is where most of the poor people in Scotland live, right? And they're always fighting amongst themselves when they get drunk, aren't they? So most of their teeth fall out due to the constant diet of chips and deep fried Mars bars and then the few they have left get knocked out, arguing about football or whose round it is in the pub. I'm telling you, Jack, being a dentist in Glasgow must be one of the most soul destroying jobs there is in Britain.'
'It's not just people from Glasgow who are in danger of losing a few teeth,' said Annie forcefully.
'Don't let him bug you, Annie,' said Jack as Henry left the room chuckling away to himself. ‘I’ve got a feeling old Henry could be heading for a fall in the not too distant future.'
Chapter 36
‘Shit, I didn’t realise that Henry would be staying here in the house with us as well,’ said Annie with a heavy sigh. ‘So there’s absolutely no escape. He's a complete and utter twat.'
'No argument from me. Anyway I think it's best if we start down in the basement,' said Jack with a knowing wink to Annie. 'In my experience, that can often be a weak spot. You know, if there's some dodgy character lurking around, who's trying to penetrate your, ahem … security.'
Annie stifled a giggle and then eagerly led the way down the steps to the basement level of the townhouse. As they descended the last step tasteful concealed low-level lighting, triggered by a PIR sensor, provided soft illumination to a red carpeted lobby with five doors.
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