by Cynthia Sax
“Yeah, I thought so.” The boy puffed out his chest. “Anyway… we were almost to the secret exit when them Humanoid Alliance bastards caught up with us. Three-eyed Mak put me down, told me to get. He had talking to do with the bastards.”
Oh fuck. Faylee gripped Dare’s hands, part of her not wanting to hear the rest, the other part needing to know.
“I heard him taunting the bastards, calling them fancy arses, telling ‘em they be too late. The boy be long gone.”
That sounded like Three-eyed Mak. He never knew when to shut up.
“Then there was a loud pop, pop, pop. Must have been twelve or thirteen shots.” Overclocked looked down at the armrests he was shredding. “Didn’t hear nothing else. I got out, waited by the caves ‘til the sun rose. Them Humanoid Alliance bastards came out, giggling ’n bumping shoulders like they had a whopper of a time.” He scowled. “Three-eyed Mak didn’t appear.”
That damn fool. After all her boss’ bluster about not caring ‘bout no one, he had sacrificed himself to save the life of a child. She squeezed her eyes closed, trapping her tears.
Boys don’t cry. That’s what Three-eyed Mak always told her. She wouldn’t break that rule of his. He wouldn’t want her sorrow, her grief.
Dare squeezed her shoulders. “You were brave to come all this way to tell us.”
“Had to.” Overclocked mumbled. “Boy is his favorite. Everyone knows that.”
She curled her fingers into fists. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t.
“Everyone does know that.” Her mate pressed his body against hers. “Who are you staying with?”
“The scary arse got a device needs fixing,” Overclocked muttered. “A spot on his floor’ll do me.”
“The scary arse is to be called Kralj, the Ruler, or sir.” Kralj drawled. “Tech, a male whom you’ll also refer to as sir, is waiting for you outside the doors. He’ll show you to your new chambers.”
“My new chambers?” Excitement lifted the boy’s voice. “Well, lah dee dah. Ain’t I a fancy arse—”
“Go. Now.” The Ruler’s words blasted all of them.
The doors opened and closed.
Kralj would want them to leave now too. Wrangling her emotions under control, she looked toward Dare.
He gazed back at her, concern in his fire-lit eyes.
“I’m fine.” She summoned a smile and brushed her hands over her cheeks. Her skin was dry. Satisfaction coursed through her. She’d respected Three-eyed Mak’s unspoken wishes, hadn’t cried for that damn fool.
“You cared for him.” Her mate’s voice was gentle.
She had cared for Three-eyed Mak, didn’t realize how deeply until now. “He was the only being who knew my past.”
He’d also raised her, protected her. She wouldn’t be alive now if it hadn’t been for him.
And he had sacrificed himself so her friend would survive. Three-eyed Mak knew how much Overclocked meant to her.
She pressed her lips together. The big dumb arse.
“The big dumb arse wasn’t the only being who knew your past.” Kralj turned his attention toward her. “You know it too. It’s all there in your mind.”
“I can’t access my memories.” There was a blank spot where her early recollections should be. “I’ve tried.”
When she was younger, she would lay awake during rest cycles, trying to picture her parents’ faces. She could never capture anything about them. It had been frustrating.
“You tried alone.” The shadows surrounding Kralj parted, revealing a countenance ravaged by scars. There was power and mystery in his dark eyes. “You’re not alone now.”
He could help her access her memories. Fear tempered Faylee’s excitement. What would she find out about her parents, about herself?
She reached for Dare’s hand. He linked his fingers with hers.
“I’d like to try again…with one memory.” She doubted she could emotionally handle more. “And I want Dare to see it too, if that is possible.” She’d need his support if the information revealed shredded her heart to bits. “Could you show it to both of us...sir?”
An image appeared in her mind. Flames flickered on bare stone. They were in the caves, in a plain, unadorned cavern.
Disappointment swept over her. She knew about that part of her life.
“How do you get so dirty?” The voice was female, familiar yet not. Fingers, long, slender, soft, cupped her chin, lifting it.
She looked into a face similar to her own. The hair was longer, however, and there was a glint of silver interwoven between the black strands. A scar marred the female’s temple, the mark in her brown skin long and straight as though she’d been grazed by a projectile.
The female swept a cloth over her cheeks. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me, Mommy?” The childishly-spoken words originated from Faylee’s own lips.
“I do love you. Very much.” The female pulled her into her arms, hugging her to her slender body. Warmth radiated from her, warmth and love.
Her mother had loved her. That had been one of her secret fears—that her parents had abandoned her because she’d been unlovable, the type of being no one could care about.
Because no one else had ever said those words to her. Not Three-eyed Mak. He wasn’t the sort of male who talked about his feelings. And not Dare, not yet. Her mate had spoken of desire and protection and caring but not of love.
She wanted to be loved and she had been. Her mother loved her.
The sound of rock knocking against rock broke their embrace. Her mother pulled away from her, looked toward a panel of metal serving as a door to the cavern. Her eyebrows drew together.
Her mother hadn’t been expecting a visitor.
Fear coursed through Faylee, the emotion binding her to the past. She let go of her present self, became the child she’d been then, immersing fully into the memory.
“Crawl under the sleeping support.” Her Mommy pushed her in that direction. “Don’t speak. Don’t move. Don’t make a noise until I tell you to come out, understand?”
Faylee nodded. Her Mommy gave her those instructions every time someone came to their home. They couldn’t trust anyone. There were bad males everywhere.
They wouldn’t get her. She dropped to her hands and knees. The stone was warm, heated by their fire. She scurried under the sleeping support. It had been pushed against the wall. Bad males couldn’t break rock walls.
She hid in the darkness, covering her lips with her hands as her Mommy had shown her to do.
Metal scraped against rock. “Oh, it’s you, Ocie.” Relief pushed the worry from her Mommy’s voice. Ocie was a good friend. The older female often gave them any extra nourishment bars she had. “What are you doing here so late?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Faylee,” Ocie wailed. “He threatened to kill me if I didn’t show him where you lived and—”
“What did you do?” That was her Mommy’s mad voice.
Boot heels stomped against the stone floor. “She did the right thing.”
Faylee had never heard that voice before but she knew, in her innocent heart, he was a bad male. She hugged her small body, trying to comfort herself.
“No one escapes the Humanoid Alliance.”
She jerked as three loud pops reverberated through the cavern, the noise hurting her ears.
“You said you wouldn’t hurt—”
More pops stopped Ocie’s words. “I lied.” Pleasure edged the bad male’s words. Boots stomped again, growing louder.
She spotted them. The boots were big, made of shiny black leather. They paused beside the sleeping support.
The bad male would find her. She shook, almost peeing herself. She was so scared.
Then the boots stomped some more. They disappeared from view. The sound they made grew dimmer and dimmer and dimmer.
Faylee waited under the sleeping support, waited for her Mommy to say it was fine to come out. The cavern was quiet.
Moments passed, a great many of them according to her childish mind. No one told her what to do. All she heard was the crackle of the fire.
Where was Mommy? Faylee rubbed her arms. She was cold and scared.
“Mommy?” she whispered.
There was no answer.
“Mommy?” She called out louder.
Her Mommy didn’t respond. Maybe she wasn’t in the cavern.
If her Mommy had left, she couldn’t see Faylee. She could grab the covering cloth on the sleeping support and return to her hiding place and her Mommy wouldn’t know she’d been bad.
It would only take a moment and she was so, so cold.
Faylee crawled out of the darkness. Oh no. Her Mommy was still there. She was lying on the floor, her body bent funny, her eyes wide open.
Ocie was still there too. She was lying on the floor also.
“Mommy?” She crept closer. A pool of red surrounded them. “Mommy?”
Her Mommy was bleeding. Faylee ran to her side, kneeled beside her.
“Mommy?” She shook her, trying to wake her. The red stained her hands. She was dirty again. Her Mommy would be mad.
The boot heels were back, pounding against the stone. She froze in place.
“Fuck.” A bellow filled the air. “Fuck.”
It wasn’t the bad male. It was her Mommy’s special friend.
And he’d said a bad word. Twice.
Three-eyed Mak dropped to his knees beside her. “Noooo…” He gathered her Mommy’s body in his arms and rocked her, kissing her all over. A chilling moaning sound came from deep inside his throat.
Was he helping her Mommy? Faylee kissed her all over also and made the same moaning sound.
She was getting very dirty but Three-eyed Mak was dirty too. When her Mommy woke up, she would be mad at both of them.
“Ye stupid cunt.” He stood, cradling her Mommy in his arms. His cheeks glistened with wetness. All of his eyes were red. “Ye should of told me.” He carried her to the sleeping support. Faylee followed him. “I would of protected ye ’n yer brat.”
Three-eyed Mak set her Mommy on the surface and sat beside her. He smoothed her hair back and softly kissed her lips, murmuring words Faylee couldn’t hear.
Her Mommy often said he made her happy. That must be what he was doing.
“I failed ye.” He tidied her Mommy’s flight suit, his huge hands gentle. “I should of knowed the bastards be comin’. Ye be my cunt ’n I—” His voice broke.
“The bad male came.” Faylee ran her small hands over her Mommy’s garment also, smoothing the wrinkles.
“Yeah, brat. The bad male came.” Three-eyed Mak bent over her Mommy’s body, laying his head on her chest.
Faylee did the same, placing her forehead on her Mommy’s tummy. She would help too.
Her Mommy didn’t move.
“Is Mommy sleepy?” Faylee peered at Three-eyed Mak.
He lifted his head and swept his big hands over his face. “Yer mother be dead, brat.”
Dead. Faylee knew that word. The bad males had made her father dead before she was born. It meant she could never see him.
She had to see her Mommy. “Mommy?” She pushed on her, trying to make her undead. “Mommy?”
“Quit yer chatterin’.” Three-eyed Mak grabbed her shoulders and shook her so hard her teeth rattled. “That be what yer mother did, ’n look at her.” They both looked at her Mommy. “Ye ain’t to say nothin’ to no one, ye hear?”
She swallowed hard. “Or the bad male will come back?”
“Yeah, them Humanoid Alliance bastards be gettin’ ye if ye chatter, boy.” He extracted the massive dagger he wore on a sheath at his hip. “Sure as shit.”
“I’m a girl.” She stuck her chin out. “And shit is a bad word.”
“Ye ain’t to say it.” He agreed. “But ye ain’t a cunt no more.” He grabbed a handful of her hair and hacked it off. “Cunts end up dead too. Ye ain’t wantin’ to be dead, do ye?”
“No.” Her head felt lighter without all of that hair.
“Then ye be Boy.” He ripped the pretty bows off her garment. “Ye clear yer noggin.” He rapped his knuckles against her skull. “These be yer new rules.”
She wrinkled her nose. She didn’t like rules.
“Ye ain’t to chatter to no one ‘bout nothing.” He wiped his hand across the toes of his boots and transferred that dirt to her face. “Ye be dirty.” He coated her arms, legs, garment with grime. “’N ye do what Three-eyed Mak tell ye, ye hear?”
She hesitated a moment. “Mommy—”
“Ye be Boy. Boy don’t have no Mommy.” He cuffed her on the chin.
Pain exploded over her face. She took a step backward, shocked and confused. No one had ever hit her.
“Ye wantin’ to be dead?” He narrowed all three of his eyes at her.
Faylee shook her head. She had no desire to be struck a second time either.
“Ye be learnin’.” Three-eyed Mak returned his attention to her Mommy, much to Faylee’s relief. “I be guardin’ yer brat, ye stupid cunt.” He leaned over and pressed his lips against her Mommy’s forehead. “Don’t ye fret.”
He stood, gazed down at her for a long moment, and strode toward the exit.
Faylee kissed her Mommy’s forehead. “Love you, Mommy. Be—”
“Boy,” Three-eyed Mak yelled, his back to her. “You be chatterin’?”
She opened her mouth to say no but then realized that would be chattering. He could hit her again for breaking another one of the rules.
She looked at her Mommy one more time and hurried to catch up with him.
The memory faded, leaving Faylee with a giant void inside her, a hole where part of her soul had once been. She turned toward Dare, seeking his warmth, his protection, his caring.
Without judging her, without saying a word, he brushed his fingers over her face, removing the tears she hadn’t realized she’d wept. He then wrapped his arms around her.
Her mate seemed to sense she needed time to absorb what she’d seen, space to process her emotions.
Because her mother hadn’t left her voluntarily. She’d died, been killed by the Humanoid Alliance, the same beings who had killed her father. Faylee pressed her lips together. Those bastards, as Three-eyed Mak called them, had deprived her of both of her parents. They had taken away the beings who loved her.
And Three-eyed Mak… “He loved my mother.” The grief on his face had been genuine. “I’ve never seen him cry.”
Boys didn’t cry. He’d told her that…multiple times. Yet he had. The wetness on his ugly face had been proof of that.
Dare rubbed her back. “Some losses would break a male.” Emotion thickened her mate’s voice. “Take the ability to show sorrow away from him.”
Kralj pulled Dita onto his lap.
Another tear dripped down Faylee’s cheek. She wiped it away before anyone could see it.
This planet rotation, she’d lost the male who had protected her for most of her lifespan. She also felt she had lost her parents all over again, having not properly mourned for them the first time.
Her heart was shattered. Her soul was temporarily empty.
It required filling. She tilted her head back and met her mate’s gaze. Her link with him would give her that.
“Take me home,” she whispered.
It wasn’t until he’d swung her into his arms and strode with her out the door that she realized what she’d said.
She’d never thought of any place as a home. The caves had been viewed as a temporary stop.
Dare’s domicile in the Refuge wasn’t permanent either. Her mate was determined to return to his home planet, a place inhabited by beings who didn’t accept him, value him, care for him, love him as she did.
Fuck. She loved him.
In hindsight, that shouldn’t have surprised her. She’d walked away from everything she knew for her warrior, had risked her life because she believed he was in danger, had changed for him, embracing the
ir mating.
She loved him. That revelation started the healing. Her heart, now in her savage male’s care, beat more strongly. Her soul expanded to encompass him.
Faylee rested her cheek against Dare’s chest. She was safe in his sure grip.
She was home.
Chapter Fifteen
Warriors greeted Dare as he passed them. He nodded, not stopping, not making conversation. His sole focus was on conveying his mate to their domicile as quickly as possible. He could better protect her there.
It wasn’t rational thinking. Kralj, his all-knowing, all-powerful leader, safeguarded all the warriors’ mates, had done that since the last attack on the Refuge. Faylee was in no danger inside the settlement’s walls.
But Dare’s humanoid side wasn’t in control at the moment.
His beast was.
A male veered too close to them. Dare growled a warning, baring his teeth, and lifted his mate higher. No one would touch her. She was his.
Life was fragile and so was his female. Her memories had reminded him of that truth.
Her mother had looked like an older version of his mate, the resemblance unnerving. Viewing her body twisted on the floor, her slender form riddled with projectile wounds, bloody and still, had chilled him to the core.
Her big brown eyes, so like Faylee’s, had been wide-open, blank, and disturbingly cold. They lacked sparkle, warmth, a soul.
That could have been his female lying on the hard stone. The Humanoid Alliance assassin had been one loud exhalation away from discovering her, killing her. That realization shook his humanoid side.
The memory crazed his Drache. The beast couldn’t differentiate between the past and now. It hungered for the assassin’s blood, wanted to seek vengeance.
Above all, it needed to protect its mate, to shield her from any possible danger.
“Faylee might be my mother’s name.” She gazed up at him. Lines were etched between her eyebrows. “It’s doubtful Three-eyed Mak was referring to me when I overheard him say it solar cycles ago. He must have been thinking of my mother, missing her.”
His mate sounded lost…as any being would be in her situation. Everything she knew, about her world, about herself, had changed. Even her body wasn’t the same.
