Breed of Envy (The Breed Chronicles, #02)

by Jordan, Lanie

  “That he’d help them find whatever demon they were after? Assuming they’re after one.”

  “Yeah. I’m going to hold him to it. And if he says no, then I’ll go after it myself. But I’m getting the demon, with or without him. Even if it’s not the same one, it—or another like it—killed my sister. So yeah, I’m going after it. I’d rather do it with Greene’s permission and help, but if I have to, I’ll do it without.”

  “I’ll help.”

  Linc’s head whipped up. “You don’t have to.”

  “I’ll help,” I repeated. “Would you let me go after my demon by myself? And don’t try lying. You’re as bad at it as you say I am.”

  “Probably not. But—”

  “But nothing. If you’re about to spout some crap about it being different for me than it is for you, I’m going to hit you. Hard. And I’ll actually mean it for once.”

  The side of his mouth twitched. “You could try.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I could do more than that. You’re strong, I’ll give you that, but you’ve got a soft spot for me and we both know it. You’d hold your punches. I wouldn’t.” I angled my head to the side. “Wanna test the theory?”

  He laughed. “No. But it is different, and it has nothing to do with you being a girl or smaller than me or whatever else you were thinking. It’s…well, it’s a demon, Jade. They’re kind of dangerous.”

  I could have smacked him. Should’ve, too. “You’re kinda dumb when you don’t get any sleep.” I narrowed my eyes. “I’ve come up against a few demons so far, Linc. Trust me, if anyone knows they’re dangerous, it’s me,” I muttered. Didn’t I almost die because of one only a few months ago?

  “And that’s one of my points. You’ve already been hurt by one. I don’t want to see you get hurt trying to help me.”

  “And I don’t need coddled. I appreciate the thought, Linc, but I joined to hunt demons. Don’t act like you need to protect me.”

  “Someone has to protect you.”

  “Why? Because I’m some weakling who can’t handle herself? I’ve been doing fine, haven’t I?”

  Linc’s eyes rolled. “Yeah, you’re doing great. You’re letting asshole Brian pound on you in Combat class; you’re letting Rachel and her friends harass you, and you won’t say anything about it to anyone. And Felecia—”

  “What about Felecia? Greene knew what was going on. I couldn’t stop that.”

  “She almost got you killed, for crying out loud!” he half-shouted. “Twice. And you still covered for her and defended her. Even now, you still kind of do.”

  “I do not.”

  “Jade, you’re great, you really are. But you’re soft. Too soft,” he murmured quietly now.

  Soft? The words stung. My back had gone completely rigid, like the bones had been replaced with steel. “If you don’t want my help, then fine. Just say so. But I don’t need you to protect me from the big, bad world of demons. It’s a little late for that.” By about two years.

  “Fine. I don’t need help. This is my business—not yours.”

  I didn’t flinch, but it was a close call. Inside, I cringed and felt a cold deep inside my stomach. And I tried—really tried—not to let his words bother me. But I failed. Miserably, miserably failed. “Okay.” I drew the word out slowly, trying to keep the anger and hurt from my tone. “That’s settled then,” I said, swallowing back a painful lump in the back of my throat. I forced a fake yawn. “Anyway, it’s late. I should probably get some sleep.” I didn’t give him a chance to answer, just walked to the door, opened it, and then held it open for him. “You should, too. I’ll see you around, Linc.”

  When he rose from the chair and walked to me, he said, “Jade. Don’t be like that.”

  I looked away, refusing to meet his gaze because I wasn’t sure mine wasn’t tear-filled. “Just get some sleep.”

  Without another word, he left. I shut the door behind him and leaned against it.

  I tried not to blame him. If I’d had the chance to go after my demon, I’d probably want to do it myself, too. And yet…logic didn’t matter. This is my business—not yours. What happened to the ‘us’ or the ‘we’ he always talked about?

  I went back to my desk and sat down. The tablet was still on and the picture of Linc’s demon was there. Beside it, the picture of my demon stared back at me. A sliver of jealously wormed its way into my system, mixing with the hurt and anger that swirled like a brewing storm. It hurt, that jealousy. That I could feel it when I was trying to be thrilled for him. But I couldn’t deny it was there.

  I let out a loud exhale. Whatever. Even though that tiny bit of jealousy was there, and even though Linc didn’t want me around to help, it didn’t change anything. It didn’t mean I regretted finding his demon. I would never regret it. I wouldn’t let myself.

  But I couldn’t help but let out a bitter, sad laugh. Maybe it was different. For him. He had a chance to find his demon, or he’d get one soon enough.

  All I had was a picture of mine.

  *~*~*

  Sunday…crawled by. I’d kinda hoped Linc would knock on the door, give me his lop-sided grin that I loved so much, and we’d figure things out and make up. It didn’t happen. I only left my room once to eat lunch, and when I was done, I’d picked up a wrapped ham sandwich and took it back to my room with me so I didn’t have to leave again for dinner.

  More work on the DD didn’t happen. I’d spent my remaining allotted time going over the report I’d shown Linc and rereading the others. I didn’t really know why. The information hadn’t changed, I hadn’t expected it to, and I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if it had.

  That night, when I was completely bored and going stir-crazy, I went out and ran on the track. I hated running, yet I found it relaxing when I had a good mad going on.

  I kept a smile on my face as I stepped into the café court Monday morning for breakfast. Linc and I couldn’t fight forever, could we? We’d just get over our little fight and that would be that.

  Tasha and Linc and were sitting up front. She was facing Linc, who had his back to the entrance. She spotted me first and waved like a maniac. “Hey, Jade!” she called out.

  I started to wave and say hi back but froze as Linc’s back stiffened at the sound of my name. He either made a face or said something to her, because her smile turned into a frown as he shoved away from the table and took his tray of food with him.

  Okay. It’s definitely gonna be one of those days, I thought, forcing my smile to stay in place, though I knew it was as weak as it felt. Tasha shot me a what’s-going-on look, but I just waved and left. My appetite was officially gone.

  Tracking class wasn’t any better. I didn’t want to look at Linc, so that’s exactly what I did every other second. The fourth or fifth time it happened, barely ten minutes into class, I’d ended up missing a move I was supposed to do and ended up walking into the door of the partial house we used in the bigger classroom. It didn’t really hurt. Still, I was torn between laughing and crying, but when everyone else (minus Linc, thankfully) started laughing at me, I shook my head and joined in. It had been kind of funny, in a sad, pathetic way, and Mrs. Fletcher used it as an example.

  “And this is what happens when your focus is on something else,” she’d said.

  It was a good example, one I—and everyone else—needed to learn, I thought, and for once, I didn’t mind being a bad example.

  When we got out of class, Tasha waited behind for me and harassed me about what was going on between Linc and I until I finally gave in and gave her a not-entirely-true version of the story. Basically, I just told her we were fighting over something stupid and kept it at that. I felt as bad for her as I did for myself, because she seemed torn, like she didn’t know who she was supposed to hang out with. Linc and I were like divorced parents and Tasha was the kid caught in the middle, trying to figure out who she wanted to stay with. I made it easy for her and lied (big time) by telling her I was behind on the DD research gig. I d
on’t think she really believed me, but she didn’t argue. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about that. Good, in a way, because I didn’t want to take Linc from her or vice versa. But also bad in a way, because a stupid part of me wanted her to argue.

  Combat went a little better. After the well-deserved lesson in Tracking, I concentrated on what I was supposed to be doing. It didn’t help much with Brian, since he was non-stop serious about everything, but at least he seemed to be going a little easier on me and not hitting me quite as hard.

  He knocked to me the ground once (he was supposed to) and then, I think, shocked us both by holding out his hand to help me up—something he’d never done before.

  I took his offered hand, trying not to give him the look that matched my were-you-abducted-by-aliens thought. “Thanks,” I said, unable to completely hide my surprise. As soon as my hand touched his, I could’ve sworn the move caused him physical pain or something because he winced. I let go quickly. “You okay?” This time, my voice held concern.

  “Fine,” he muttered.

  And then things went downhill.

  His hits became harder again, almost brutal. His reflexes amped up. I barely had time to block one move before he was delivering the next, catching me in my ribs, shoulders, arms, legs, my back—anywhere and everywhere he could hit. The class still had an hour left and already every muscle in my body felt like pummeled jelly.

  I stayed on the ground after the last hit and held up my hands in a T sign. “Timeout!” I barely managed to get the word out. I was, for the first time in a long time, out of breath and breathing hard.

  In typical Brian fashion, he sneered down at me. “You’re calling a timeout? Really? Do you think that’ll save you from a demon?”

  Finally, I jumped to my feet. I had to convince myself I really didn’t want to punch him, which was way harder than it should’ve been. My arms ached from forcing them to stay at my sides. “No,” I snapped. “I don’t think a demon will give me a timeout, but then I wouldn’t ask for one. We’re sparring, not fighting. And damnit, I’m not a demon, so stop treating me like one!”

  By the time I finished my short tirade, I noticed three things in the span of two seconds. One, I had said my piece really, really loudly; two, everyone was now staring at me like I was a freak; and three, I really was a demon, or at least part demon, so telling him I wasn’t one felt like a huge lie.

  I felt bad enough as it was, both physically and mentally, and then, somehow, those feelings got even worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I realized I was wrong about one thing: not everyone was watching. Linc had his back turned away. He had to have heard us. He just didn’t care.

  For some reason, that, more than anything else, cut bone deep. More than Linc’s words on Saturday, more than getting my butt kicked. More than being hated for mistakes that weren’t entirely mine.

  My stomach dropped and my face went slack. I just stood there, stunned, forgetting everything else but that moment. What had I really expected? Linc to jump to my defense? Him to say something? Another lesson learned.

  Mr. Connor touched my shoulder. “You okay, Jade?”

  I barely glanced up, but I still saw him give Brian a stern look and wave him away.

  “No, I’m not.” I shook my head. “I can’t do this, I’m sorry,” I whispered, and then as tears fell from my eyes, I did what I hadn’t been able to do before. I ran. Right out of the classroom and down the hall. I climbed out of the window and started up the ladder to the catwalk. I almost lost my footing twice because I couldn’t see clearly, but it only made me angrier and made me cry harder until the sounds coming from my throat sounded inhuman.

  “Stupid, stupid, Jade,” I muttered to myself once I was seated.

  Why did I let people get close to me? They left. They disappointed. They died. What was the point? You liked them, then got attached to them and used to them, and then…this. Nothingness. Alone. Hurt.

  “I was just fine before I got here.” I didn’t know why I was talking out loud, like anyone was actually listening or cared, but I couldn’t stop it and I didn’t really care, either. “Maybe because I’m going crazy,” I said with a laugh. “Or maybe I just feel like it.” Wasn’t crazy just an absence of…something? A conscience, maybe? Or something deeper than that.

  I sighed. This was all Greene’s fault. “I was fine before him, wasn’t I? Maybe I wasn’t exactly happy, but at least I knew what I was getting into. I had enemies. That was it. I knew what to expect, and that was absolutely nothing.”

  But here…here, having expectations was bad. And…and damnit. I knew better! If you didn’t have expectations, then you couldn’t be disappointed. You couldn’t be hurt.

  “And Linc.” I laughed again. “His fault, too, the dumb jerk.”

  I wiped my face as the last of the tears finally dried. A bird—pigeon maybe—landed a few feet away and made bird sounds at me. “Maybe this is a good thing,” I told the bird. “I mean, without Linc as a distraction, then I can really focus on what I came here for, right? Right. Demons. Hunting. Now I have my focus back for other stuff. Important stuff.” The pigeon made another sound at me. “Exactly! This is a good thing. A silver lining or something philosophical. Who needs a guy around, anyway?”

  The bird—who had obviously been male in gender—made an angry sound and then flew away.

  “Stupid bird.”

  Screw the bird. Screw Linc, too. He’d called me tough before, but I hadn’t believed it, not really. Now I had no choice. I had to be tough. Without him. Without anyone.

  The only one I could depend on was myself and it was time I remembered that.

  CHAPTER 11

  Tasha hunted me down after Demonology class later in the week (once she’d realized I was avoiding the café court—and her—entirely). Apparently, she’d made some visitation schedule for me and Linc. No one got to sit with her at breakfast, but Linc got her for lunch, and then I’d get her for dinner. She was crazy, but it made me love her a little more knowing she was going out of her way to make things easier for us. But it also made me feel really guilty for coming between them. They’d been friends a lot longer than we had.

  I was playing the big Avoidance game and not wanting to see him more than absolutely necessary (except in classes when I couldn’t avoid him), so Tasha and I’d been having dinner in my room.

  “Linc talked to Director Greene,” she said in between bites of her dinner—some mac and cheese stuff with bacon in it.

  “About going after his demon?”

  “Yup. Director agreed to let him go after Christmas break.”

  “Christmas break?” I frowned. Between all my fights with…well, everyone, I’d totally forgotten about it. “Oh, right,” I said after I took a minute to chew a bite of the food she’d brought me. It smelled really good, and it didn’t taste bad, but I wasn’t really hungry.

  “There are conditions, of course,” she continued on.

  “Of course.”

  “You don’t want the details?” She rolled her eyes at me. Apparently, I wasn’t being nosy enough to suit her. “Tough. I’m gonna tell ‘em to you, anyway.” She took another bite. “So, he has to study everything on the demon. And the director means everything. The texts, reports, sightings. And he’ll have this big ol’ test-like thing. Plus, he’s gotta train with one of the senior agents five nights a week, for at least two hours, on ways to trap, immobilize, and kill the demon.”

  I really didn’t want to talk about this, but she didn’t know why. I still hadn’t told her the truth about the whole thing, so she had no idea what Linc and I were really fighting about. She didn’t know that just talking about him made me want to cry. But I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. She’d gone out of her way to make room for me and to come to me instead of making me go to her. “That’s fair,” I finally said, keeping my tone neutral.

  “Yeah. He has to do that for at least a month straight, without missing a minute of his training or a single question when they giv
e him a written test. If he does, he starts over from the beginning.”

  He wasn’t the greatest at Demonology, but he wasn’t dumb. This was too serious for him to mess up, so I knew he wouldn’t. He’d make sure of it. “He’ll pass,” I murmured quietly, though I wasn’t sure if it was a comment or a plea.

  Tasha nodded. “Director Greene told him he could start after Christmas break, since it’s our only vacation for a while, but Linc declined.” She took another bite, chewed. “They compromised. He’s starting next Friday.”

  “That’s good,” I said, trying not to frown.

  “He’s pretty excited.”

  “I bet.”

  My appetite was officially gone, so I set my plate aside.

  Linc was going to do his training during Christmas break. I didn’t know why I cared. It wasn’t as if I’d really celebrated it in a few years. It wasn’t like we were done fighting or that we’d made any plans to spend it together or anything. Heck, I hadn’t even given it much thought until now.

  So it was no big deal, right? Just another typical day.

  Just another Christmas alone.

  *~*~*

  Demonology was our last class before Christmas break. Mr. Sheldon, in his usual happy-go-lucky way, delivered some not-so-happy news at the end of class. “A report,” he said, making the entire class groan. He moved to the front of his desk and leaned against it as people started raising their hands.

  “What kind of report?” a girl asked.

  “A ten page report on a new demon hybrid. Not just any hybrid, but one you create based off of what you’ve all learned so far. I want to know what demons you picked to base it off of and why, what qualities your hybrid has, what weapons would be effective and ineffective against it. The bad news: it’s not going to be as easy as you think. You’re expected to do some real research here. Don’t just pick two random demons and mash them together. You should all know by now that not all demon breeds work well together. So if you pick two demons that, under normal circumstances, are known not to be compatible, you’re going to get marked off.” He paused for a few groaners. “However, the good news: if you actually put the work in, there is very little chance of failing. You’re not scientists, and I realize this, so use your best judgment based off of the information you have.”