by Ivy Smoak
“What?” Matt and I both said at the same time.
“No,” I added. “That’s not…”
“And did you really dress up like a prostitute and go into James’ hotel room?”
Oh fuck. “No. Well…yes.” God. I could feel Matt’s heated gaze. “No to the prostitute thing. But I did go to James for help.” I turned to Matt. “He slipped me his keycard last night. I was never going to use it. Ever. But when Isabella abandoned me in my freaking underwear, the keycard was the only thing I had. I didn’t have any money or my phone or clothes. It was my only choice. I would have come to you but your house was so far away. Trust me, I definitely would have preferred your help. You know that.”
Matt reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
He looked so hurt for letting me down. Hadn’t he just heard what I said? It was just a proximity issue. It wasn’t his fault.
Mason laughed. “Wait, so let me get this straight. You showed up to James’ room in your underwear?”
“Well, I kind of made a makeshift dress out of a map.”
He smiled. “So you showed up naked to his room. And then what happened?”
Actually, sharing this part might cheer Matt up. “I walked in on him and Rachel.”
Mason spit out his sip of hot chocolate. “Really? Having sex?”
“No, she was…um…giving him…you know…”
“Head?” He cocked his eyebrow up. “You can say it you know. Oral. Sucking his cock. Blowing…”
“Cut it out, Mason,” Matt said.
My face had to be bright red. “Yeah, that.” I didn’t want to say it out loud. I’d never even done it before. “Everyone completely freaked out and I ended up running through the lobby. But I was in my underwear. I’m pretty sure only a handful of students saw me.” How had the rumors spread so quickly?
“This is amazing,” Mason said. “What did James do when he saw you come in his room?”
“He said my name. And Rachel…bit him.”
Even Matt laughed this time.
“Serves him right,” Mason said. “Fucking asshole.”
I didn’t laugh. I didn’t find it funny at all. James had been kind and sweet. I didn’t feel comfortable telling Mason the rest of the story. I wanted to tell Matt in private. But I wanted to fix what I’d help break too. “James helped me,” I said. “I think this crazy misunderstanding about Rachel…you could all clear it up, don’t you think? If you just sat down and talked.”
“What do you think I’ve been trying to do the past week?” Matt asked.
“I know, but…”
“The Hunters are dead to us,” Mason said. “We tried to fight for them. And all they wanted to do was fight us.”
It wasn’t just them being stubborn. They were hurt. I looked at Matt. He had tried to fight for James. He’d tried to look after him. He’d worried and fretted over the blackmail because he cared about his friend. And all James wanted was to punch him in the face.
But James and I were friends now. Maybe I could convince him to try to fix things.
Matt lifted up my hot chocolate. “Aren’t you even going to try it?”
I took the mug from him. It tasted just like my mom’s. I sat in their warm kitchen, listening to the two of them laugh. And I hoped that I could stay. No one ever laughed at the Pruitts’ apartment. I hadn’t felt this at home since I’d lived with Kennedy.
But I had a feeling Mr. Caldwell wouldn’t let me stay. And I understood why. I was a Pruitt. I was toxic. I laughed along with the Caldwell brothers, but I kept thinking about the fact that the hot chocolate always felt warm in my hands. No matter how much time went by. And I wondered if it was because my hands were permanently cold. Cold to the bone. Just like the Pruitts’. Was Mr. Caldwell right about me?
Chapter 8
Sunday
I sat down on the edge of Matt’s four-poster bed. The last time I’d been in his room, Rob had pushed me inside and locked the door. I’d thought I was about to get the life sucked out of me by a vampire. But today I was just waiting to see if I’d get my hopes sucked out. Any minute now, I expected Mr. Caldwell to come through those doors and kick me out of his house.
“What’s going through your head?” Matt asked as he sat down beside me.
I looked over to his closet. The one I’d stood in for what felt like an eternity, waiting for Matt to come back after he’d pushed me into it. He’d spent the rest of the night with Isabella, instead of with me. Isabella. My stomach twisted in knots as I looked up at Matt’s eager face. “What if your dad’s right? About…me.”
Matt’s eyebrows lowered. “He didn’t say anything about you.”
“I have Pruitt blood in my veins,” I said and looked down at my hands. “You told me what that meant. That the Pruitts’ whole family is a disease…”
“I didn’t mean you.”
“You called them toxic. I’m them, Matt.”
“You’re not…”
“I want her to die.” I looked back up at him. “When she drove away in her stupid limo, that’s what kept me going. I wanted to get back at her. But really…I think I’d be happy if she died. I’m a monster. I’m a Pruitt.” I felt big tears roll down my cheeks.
“You’re not a monster.” He grabbed both sides of my face. “Baby.”
My heart ached whenever he called me that.
“Look at me.”
My eyes locked with his.
“Wanting revenge for this is a normal reaction. I want to fucking kill her myself for what she did to you.” He wiped some of my tears away with this thumbs. “But you’d never actually do it. You’re not evil. Isabella hurt you and you’re hurting. That’s the end of the story.”
Was that the end of the story? I felt his love. And with it, there shouldn’t have been any room for hate. But God I hated Isabella.
“You’re better than her.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “Your heart is too good to ever be like her.”
I wanted to believe him. I’m good. I’m not like Isabella. And even though I trusted my dad, I’d never trust Isabella. “Please don’t make me go back there.” I felt lighter since stepping foot in Matt’s house. Despite his dad hating me, I felt safe here. I felt like I’d shaken some kind of darkness off my shoulders. Maybe it was just because I was breathing in Matt’s exhales. The familiar scent of cinnamon was calming and exhilarating at the same time.
I didn’t want to be evil. I didn’t want to kill anyone. That was crazy. I wasn’t crazy. I lifted my leg, straddling Matt on his bed. It was like the closer I got to him, the more I felt like myself.
His hands settled on my waist. “You’re driving me crazy,” he said against my lips.
I’d rather him be the crazy one than me. I pressed my lips against his and savored the groan I got from him. His fingers tightened on my waist as I deepened the kiss. I knew I should have been telling him about awkwardly showering with James. Or how I’d been spending most of my nights in Miller’s bed. But I needed this. I needed him. And I could feel him beneath me. He needed me too.
For just a few minutes we were a happy couple. No ups and downs. No good or bad moments. Just us. I left a trail of kisses down his neck and got another delicious groan from him.
His hands splayed against the top of my thighs, his thumbs dangerously close to touching me where I’d dreamt about.
Normally we’d stay like this. He was patient with me. Always waiting.
But I’d told him my darkest fear and he’d washed it away. He knew me. He loved me. And I wanted to do for him what his brother so casually mentioned. What I’d literally seen Rachel do to James. Wasn’t that what he needed from me?
I tried to move off his lap to get down on my knees.
“What are you doing?” he said, his fingers digging into my skin, not letting me move.
“I want to do that…thing.”
“What thing?”
I ran my index finge
r along the waist of his jeans.
His lips brushed against my ear. “Say it.”
“I want to show you how much I love you.”
“How am I supposed to know that you’re ready if you won’t say it?” he whispered in my ear.
I swallowed hard. “I want to lick you.”
“Where, baby?” The scruff of his 5 o’clock shadow was rough against my jaw.
“Here.” I pressed my palm against his hardness and he groaned again. God, he was big. I wasn’t experienced like Rachel. I had no idea what I was doing. But I wanted to do it for him. He’d been waiting for me. I didn’t want to make him wait any longer.
“Say it,” he groaned as he kissed me behind my ear.
I whimpered instead of responding.
“I want to hear you say the words.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted me to say. Everything that came to mind sounded very sex education class instead of sexy.
He kissed behind my ear again. “Say it, baby. Tell me you want my cock in your pretty little mouth.”
Fuck. His words were dirtier than I expected them to be. But it was exactly what I wanted. “Yes. That.”
“Say the words. And I’ll give you whatever you want.”
It felt like my heart was beating in my throat. “I want your cock in my mouth.”
“God I love you.” In one second flat, he’d spun us around and slammed my back against his plush mattress. His lips on mine were more frantic than before. “Let me taste you first.” He kissed down my neck and collarbone as he pulled my tank top down. He lifted his head and locked eyes with me as he pulled it down the rest of the way, exposing my bra. “Tell me to stop and I will.”
I had no idea what he was planning on doing to me. But I didn’t want him to stop. I shifted beneath him instead of responding.
“Fuck,” he hissed. He pulled down my bra cup and took one of my nipples in his mouth.
Oh God. “Please,” I moaned. I wasn’t even sure what I was begging him for. I just wanted more of…that. Why had I ever worn a shirt around him? Shirts were no longer necessary. I reached down to try to remove his too.
He laughed against my breast, but his laughter was mixed with someone else’s. My eyes flew to the now opened door.
Mason laughed. “Having fun?”
What the hell? How long had Mason been standing in the doorway? I grabbed the front of my tank top.
Matt leaned forward and pulled my strap back in place before turning to his brother. “What the hell, man? Can’t you knock?”
Mason shrugged. “Dad wants to talk to you guys,” he said as he leaned against the doorjamb. “Should I tell him you two need a minute?”
“No.” My voice came out squeaky and high-pitched. “We’re ready now.”
Mason laughed. “At least Matt didn’t pull a Rachel and try to bite your nipple off when I walked in. Come on, it seems like Dad’s in a significantly better mood now that Mom told him to be.” He pushed himself off the doorjamb but didn’t move.
Mason had seen my left boob. Now half the Caldwells had officially seen my left boob. Why was this happening? I could feel my face turning red.
“No need to be embarrassed,” Mason said. “You have great tits.”
“Get the fuck out,” Matt said and threw a pillow in Mason’s direction.
Mason laughed as he walked back into the hall.
Matt cupped my face in his hand. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Ignore him.”
“It’s okay.” But I knew my cheeks had to be red.
“I’ll lock the door next time.” He climbed off the bed and put his hand out for me.
Next time. I put my hand into his. What if his dad made it so there would never be a next time? My body felt alive. More alive than it had ever felt. I wanted to spend the rest of my life in Matt’s bed.
He put his arm around me. “Mason was right though.”
About what? I looked up at Matt. Oh. Oh. He was referring to the comment about my breasts. Could my cheeks be any redder?
“Don’t worry,” Matt said. “My mom will have convinced my dad that you can stay. And we can pick up where we left off.”
I hoped he was right.
We wandered down the creepy hallway and back downstairs to the kitchen.
Mr. Caldwell was sitting at the kitchen table drinking his hot chocolate. Mrs. Caldwell was sitting next to him. They both smiled when we walked in.
“Would you like another cup?” Mr. Caldwell asked and gestured to the hot chocolate. “There’s plenty.”
I shook my head. Please don’t kick me out. Please.
“I called your father,” he said.
That probably wasn’t good if they didn’t like each other.
“My wife and son kept the fact that you were related to Richard from me. All I knew was what Matt first told me. That you were new in town. And that you were living with your uncle.”
I nodded.
“So you can imagine my surprise…”
Mrs. Caldwell cleared her throat.
“The funeral was very nice,” he said.
I’d forgotten that he had been in attendance. “It was.” It was until I had been taken away. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I was getting closer to my dad. But suddenly the distance felt momentous. He’d kidnapped me during my uncle’s funeral. I couldn’t trust him. I wasn’t a Pruitt. It was just like Matt said. I’d never be a monster. “Please don’t make me leave,” I said.
Mr. Caldwell smiled. “I would never make you go back to him.”
Him. My dad. I should have wanted to defend him. But how could I? I didn’t even know if Isabella was being punished for what she did. As far as I knew, she was just hanging out back at the apartment with her evil puppy and plotting her next murder. But at the same time, my dad had taken care of me. He’d made sure Kennedy was okay. He’d promised to keep me safe. I still wanted to stay here though. With Matt. With his family that knew how to smile for real.
“His bodyguards are to stay outside at all times,” Mr. Caldwell said. “They won’t interfere with our own security. I’ve told Richard as much. As long as they stay outside, you can stay here.”
I blinked fast, forcing my tears to stay at bay. “Thank you.” I walked over to him and hugged him.
He awkwardly patted my back for a second. But then he hugged me back. And it was stupid, but it felt like a hug from my uncle. Which made me tear up all over again.
I pulled away. “Actually, I’d love another cup of hot chocolate.”
He smiled and nodded to the chair.
“How about a round of cards?” he asked. “Matt, go get your brother.”
***
We spent hours together in the kitchen playing Canasta, a game I was apparently terrible at. But it was so much fun. Mrs. Caldwell made these delicious cheesy snacks and we all just sat around laughing. It was the most relaxed I’d been in…a really long time. I didn’t think about Isabella once. All I thought about was how easy it was to fit in with the Caldwell family.
I smiled over at Matt as he threw his cards down on the table.
He smiled back.
“It’s a draw,” his mom said.
“What?” Mason said. “No way. We smoked you guys.”
We had played boys against girls. And Mason was right, I definitely brought Mrs. Caldwell’s team down. There was no way it was a draw.
“A tie,” she said.
“Mhm,” Mr. Caldwell said and leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Mason, do you mind escorting Brooklyn upstairs for the night? I need to have a word with Matthew.”
“Sure.” Mason tossed his cards on the table too and stretched.
“A guest room,” Mr. Caldwell added.
Mason didn’t reply to that comment. So I didn’t either. I didn’t want to be in some random guestroom. I wanted to be snuggled up to Matt’s side. Permanently.
“Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Caldwell,” I said. “Thanks for letting me stay.”
They both smiled at me.
“Of course, dear,” Mrs. Caldwell said. “You’re welcome any time. I hope you sleep well.”
I gave Matt what I hoped was a reassuring smile and followed Mason out of the warm kitchen.
“Night,” Mason said over his shoulder before the door closed.
There was an awkward stretch of silence. My thoughts were back in the kitchen. What did Matt’s dad want to talk to him about?
“You okay?” Mason asked as we made our way up the stairs.
“Mhm.” I didn’t know what to fill our silence with. I barely knew him. “My dad likes you,” I said. I have no idea why that was the thing that fell out of my mouth. As if it would be a compliment. His family hated mine.
He laughed. “Really? Huh.”
“And you were really good in the homecoming game.”
He smiled down at me. “Thanks. You should come to more games. There’s nothing I love more than my brother embarrassing himself in public.”
I laughed, remembering Matt’s amazing performance, as we stopped outside of Matt’s bedroom. I knew Mason’s comment wasn’t true. He’d taken Matt away the other night at homecoming. Specifically because he thought Matt was embarrassing himself. Why was he pretending he didn’t care?
“Aren’t you going to show me to a guest room?” I asked.
“I already cock-blocked Matt once today. No reason to do it again.”
“Thanks? I guess?”
He laughed. “You know…I could get used to having a sister. It’s kinda fun having someone else around to mess with.” He winked at me. “Night, Brooklyn.” He turned around, leaving me at Matt’s door.
“Goodnight, Mason.” I could get used to having a brother. But I’d never get used to having a sister. I looked out over the bannister at the chandelier. And even though I knew the history of this house, I felt safer here than I did at the Pruitts. I retreated into Matt’s room and closed the door.
I was finally figuring Mason out. He was kind, but in more of a joking way. Not funny like Rob. Just…hesitant. As if he was scared to get too close to anyone. I wondered why. He was probably the most popular guy at Empire High. He didn’t have to lose anyone if he didn’t want to.
