by Opal Carew
“One of the best things you can do to help attract the right kind of person into a relationship is to look at your beliefs and expectations about what that relationship will be. Find the negative attitudes you have and cleanse them with positive self-talk. Kara has identified three negatives that she would be destined to repeat in her relationships. Now she can do something about them with affirmations, meditation, or any number of other techniques. An energy healer could also help her release those blocks.”
With Grace’s warm hand on her back, Kara felt very relaxed, despite sitting in front of this huge crowd of people.
“So a simple thing you can do to achieve a great relationship is to picture the perfect mate, remembering to think about how that mate will react to you. You want someone who will love you, treat you well, want to be with you. Remember those things when you do your visualizations.”
Grace removed her hand from Kara’s back. Kara moved back to her seat, feeling extremely relaxed. Grace faced the audience and continued her talk. At the end, she took questions. After she tied up the session, people crowded around Grace. Kara stood up and grabbed her notebook from her chair, then slid it into her bag.
Grace’s workshop had been interesting. Was Kara really destined to repeat the same type of failing relationship if she didn’t purge herself of her negative expectations? She hadn’t even realized she’d had negative expectations about her relationships. Or, at least, she’d thought they’d just been natural skepticism. Of course, Grace would probably ask what the difference was.
Could finding the perfect man really be that simple?
Kara remembered J.M. He had the qualities she looked for in a man . . . and she had a feeling he wasn’t afraid of commitment. But Kara had made a break for it as fast as she could. It wasn’t J.M. she was running away from, it was the intense feelings he inspired in her—feelings that made her feel completely out of control. None of her past relationships had ever stirred the potent emotional response in her that J.M. had. When those relationships had ended, it hadn’t been a big deal. The powerful feelings she had for J.M., however, threatened her emotional well-being and shook her to her core.
The crowd around Grace had dissipated. Kara stood up and joined her.
“That was great, Grace.”
Grace smiled. “Thanks.” She collected her things and slipped them into her conference bag. “Do you want to grab some lunch?”
Kara took another bite of her western sandwich.
Grace glanced at her over her salad. “Thanks for helping me out during my talk.”
“No problem.”
“Listen, I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but . . . there’s more to your issue of finding a great relationship than what we discussed in the session today.”
“Sure,” Kara said, but she was uncertain what Grace meant exactly. Of course, Kara didn’t think uttering a few affirmations in her head would bring her the perfect man.
“Don’t get me wrong. Doing those affirmations will go a long way, but there’s something much deeper you need to work on. Do you mind me making an observation?”
Kara finished her last bite of sandwich and pushed her plate aside.
“I guess not.”
Kara’s hand rested on the table and Grace rested her hand on it. The gentle warmth soothed Kara. She gazed into Grace’s intense blue-gray eyes.
“You have a deep block about love. Something that happened . . . when you were young. About seven, I think.”
Kara drew her hand away, her stomach clenching at the memories of her mother’s tears after her father had left them.
“Six,” Kara said.
“Do you mind talking about it?”
Kara shrugged. “My parents got divorced. Happens to lots of people.”
“But it doesn’t affect all people the same way. There was something about it . . . something that hurt you on a very deep level.”
“He walked away from my mother. Left her alone with a young child.”
“Kara . . . he also left you.”
Kara felt powerful emotions swirling up from deep inside, but she stomped them down. That was long ago . . . far in the past. She was over it now.
“Sure. I know that. And it made me cautious. I understand that.”
Grace nodded, but Kara could tell there was more she wanted to say.
Kara glanced at her watch. “You know what. I think I’d like some dessert. How about you?”
Kara walked into the Tulip Ballroom and glanced around. About half the seats had been taken, but since people never crowded together by choice, there were empty seats in all the rows. She wanted to be near the front so she could see this Jeremy guy, watch his body language, and ensure she could hear everything. She nabbed a seat in the second row to the right of center.
People continued pouring into the room. The place was filling up fast. This Tantra seemed pretty popular.
Sure, if you tell people there’s a way to make sex better, you’ll pique their interest. Tell them you can also make it acceptable and they’ll flock to your door.
She settled into her seat and pulled her notebook and pen from the tote bag. She tapped her pen on her notebook, wondering what this Jeremy would look like. A woman sat down beside her. Only a few scattered seats were left vacant, including the one to her right. She glanced toward the door and . . . She sucked in a breath when she saw J.M. step into the room.
Oh, my God, what’s he doing here?
She snatched the schedule from inside her notebook and held it in front of her face as if reviewing her workshop choices. She peered over the paper, worried that he’d be heading for the empty chair beside her.
Why the hell am I hiding? I have every right to be here.
She lowered the schedule, ready to face him, but he wasn’t heading this way at all. He moved to the front of the room.
“Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Jeremy Smith and this session is about Tantra and how it can improve your sex life.”
Good God, he’s the speaker?
Anger simmered through her as she crossed her arms and glared at him. This man had not only hidden the fact he was coming to this conference, but when he’d seen his book in her bag, he hadn’t admitted he was the author! What kind of game was he playing?
Seven
“Good afternoon. My name is Jeremy Smith and this talk is about Tantra and how it can improve your sex life. Most people are aware of the Kama Sutra. Many of you probably have a copy on your bedside table at home.”
He smiled and a few people laughed.
“It’s a popular book to seek out when we want to improve our sex life because it offers many interesting sexual positions we might not have tried before. But sex is not just physical. Of course, we think about love as greatly enhancing any sexual relationship, but what I’m talking about is energy. The Chinese call this energy Chi. The Japanese call it Ki.”
As J.M. talked, he felt as if someone was staring at him. Of course, the room was packed full of people who were all watching him right now, but what he sensed was different. He glanced around the room, surveying the faces in the crowd, then his gaze caught on two piercing blue eyes.
Kara sat in the second row a mere ten yards away. Delight wafted through him at the sight of her, despite her glower. Her showing up here seemed a sure sign they were destined to be together. She narrowed her eyes as their gazes caught, and he could sense sparks of anger flaring from her. He simply smiled and continued his talk.
The two and a half hours seemed to take forever to pass, despite the enthusiasm of his audience and the many questions they asked.
Finally, the workshop came to an end and after a round of applause, people packed up their things and began flowing from the room. He had to fight a powerful urge to rush through the crowd and head off Kara before she left. Though with the crowd of people gathering around him, he couldn’t see if she was still at her seat. Given the anger flashing in her eyes, he was sure she’d leave as soon as possible.
>
He always made himself available for questions after his talk. It wouldn’t be fair to run out on the people wanting to speak with him. Anyway, now that he knew Kara was at the conference, he could find her.
Eventually, the crowd of people dissipated and he glanced up to see Kara still sitting in the second-row seat, her arms crossed. He grinned at her, then excused himself from the last couple of people, whose questions had turned to chatting. She watched him approach, her expression dark.
Kara wasn’t exactly sure why she was so irritated with him. Because he’d suddenly shown up at her conference? Because he not only believed in Tantra, but was a Tantra expert? Or because a part of her was so damned glad he was here? Whatever the reason, annoyance seethed through her.
“Kara, it’s great to see you,” he said. “I’m meeting with a reporter for an interview in a couple of minutes, but will you meet me afterward for dinner?”
“Actually, I’m the reporter.”
His face lit up. “Really? That’s great. But . . . I thought you didn’t like Tantra.” His mouth curled up in a teasing smile.
“True. Tantra is a tight-assed prude’s way of allowing himself to enjoy sex by calling it sacred. Obviously that means the rest of us are just animals who don’t know any better.”
A couple of people at the side of the room glanced around at Kara’s sharp tone and she felt her cheeks flush. She clamped her mouth shut.
J.M.’s smile broadened. How did he have the nerve to look so damned sexy when she was so damned mad at him?
“I see. Well, it looks like we’ll have an interesting interview,” he said. “Where do you want to do it?”
“I had planned on the Rose Garden Restaurant off the lobby, but . . .” If they did it there, she was likely to spout off and embarrass herself and him. Though her anger didn’t seem to faze him in the least, which only sparked it more. “Maybe we should go somewhere more private.”
“That’s a great idea.” His brown eyes twinkled. “We could go to my room.”
She gritted her teeth. “Fine.” She didn’t care which of their rooms they went to. She just wanted to get this over with.
She felt way too conscious of him walking alongside her. When the elevator doors opened, several people filed in with them, forcing her to stand closer to J.M. than she would have liked. Irritation skittered through her—right along with a tingling sense of excitement.
“This is my floor,” he said as the doors opened at ten.
She stepped off the elevator and followed him to his room, which turned out to be a lovely suite. She walked past the comfy-looking couch and armchair and sat in one of the two chairs at the round table by the window. He crossed to the bar fridge and opened the door.
“Would you like some juice? I have orange, apple, and cranberry.”
“Cranberry, please.”
He grabbed two individual serving-size bottles and two glasses from the dresser and placed them on the table.
“So you’re a reporter.” He sat down in the chair opposite her, then opened the cranberry juice and poured it into one of the glasses and set it in front of her.
“I have a column with Urban Woman magazine.”
“That’s why you had my book in your bag.” He poured himself an apple juice, then took a sip.
“That’s right.” She glared at him. “Why did you lie about that?”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You didn’t tell me you were the author.”
He shrugged. “You made it clear you didn’t like Tantra. I saw no reason to embarrass you.”
Kara felt some of her indignation dissipate. It would have been terribly embarrassing to find out he was the author after what she’d said about the book—and trust J.M. to want to spare her feelings. In the end, however, hiding it had caused her more embarrassment, as she remembered how she’d accused him of just wanting to sell books. That wasn’t J.M. She might not believe in Tantra, but it seemed clear he did, and with his integrity he wasn’t just selling books, he was sharing an idea he believed in deeply.
“You didn’t tell me you were going to this conference,” she accused.
“You didn’t tell me, either.”
She crossed her arms. “Well, of course not. If a woman tells a man she’s going to a conference on sex, he’s going to hit on her.”
He grinned. “So, you thought if you didn’t tell me, we wouldn’t wind up in bed together? That plan didn’t work too well.”
At his teasing tone, her hands clenched into fists and she sent him an icy glare. Which didn’t seem to bother him in the least.
“Well, similarly,” he continued, “my feeling is that if a man tells a woman he’s going to a conference on sex, she’ll think he’s a sex maniac or a weirdo.”
She pursed her lips together. Damn, she hadn’t thought of that. Why did he have to make so much sense?
He leaned toward her. “I think you didn’t tell me because you wanted me to believe you weren’t in the city so I wouldn’t suggest we get together.”
Her cheeks flushed. Damn it.
“Look, Kara, I know you didn’t expect to see me here . . . and I’m sure you didn’t plan on spending the night with me.” He smiled, warmth emanating from his chocolate brown eyes. “But we did and it was fabulous. Can’t we just be happy to see each other again?”
She stared at him uncertainly, unfolding her arms and resting her hands on her thighs under the table. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she was happy to see him again.
“I assume you have to do this interview for your job. Why not give me a chance to tell you about Tantra? I promise not to try to subvert you.”
The last of her anger dissipated. He was right. She had a job to do and right now that meant interviewing J.M.
“Of course.” She reached into her bag and pulled out her notebook and pen, then opened the notebook and glanced at him. “I have a number of questions prepared, so—”
He stood up and gently tugged the notebook and pen from her hand, then drew her to her feet. His touch sent her senses reeling.
“I think you’ll benefit more from a . . . hands-on approach.”
“But I—”
He grinned. “Don’t worry, I just want to show you a couple of things, then you can write down your impressions.” He drew her to the couch and urged her to sit. “I’ll be happy to answer your questions afterward.”
“I don’t know. . . .”
He sat beside her and placed his hand on her back. Instantly, heat emanated from him to her.
“Remember when I did this on the plane to help you deal with takeoff?”
She nodded. How could she forget?
“The heat you’re feeling is healing energy.”
“So Tantra is about healing? How does that fit with sex?”
“It’s actually a universal energy flowing through my body and into yours. As a person works with energy over time, they can learn to direct it. It can be used for healing.” He smiled. “Or to help two people join in a much more intimate way.”
She shifted on the couch and he drew his hand from her back.
“When two people make love, they enjoy a physical bond.”
She gazed into his eyes, her insides trembling as she remembered the sensational physical bond they’d shared the other night.
“With Tantra, lovers can enhance their lovemaking with an energy bond that joins them more intimately than straight physical sex ever can.”
“That sounds like what people say love does for a sexual relationship.”
“Of course, love is the highest form of energy, but even people in love can improve their lovemaking with Tantra. When two people are aware of the energy flowing through their bodies, they can direct it in a way to enhance pleasure. Then sex can be more spectacular than they could imagine.”
“You . . . uh . . .” She stood up and paced across the room. His potent male presence so close to her threatened her composure. “. . . mention in your book about a m
an holding off on climaxing. Why is that?”
“To build up the energy. A woman builds energy by having an orgasm, but a man expels the energy every time he ejaculates. That’s different from having an orgasm, by the way. A man can have an orgasm without ejaculation. Most men don’t know how, but Tantra training teaches that.”
“But I thought that . . . ejaculation . . . was the definition of an orgasm for a man.”
“Most people think that a man’s orgasm and releasing of the sperm are the same thing, but it’s not true. With training, a man can learn to come to orgasm while still keeping ejaculation firmly contained.” He grinned. “Which, of course, has a lot of benefits for the woman.”
“When we . . .” Her cheeks flushed. “The other night, you . . . I was sure you actually . . .”
“Yes, I did. We’d already established you were anti-Tantra. I certainly didn’t want to bring it up then and, if I didn’t climax, I thought you’d be disappointed. You might think I wasn’t turned on enough by you.” He stood up and approached her, then stroked her cheek. “I don’t want you to have any doubt about how much you turn me on.”
The heat of his touch shimmered through her. She wanted to stroke his raspy cheek and kiss those full, sexy lips of his.
She stepped toward the table. “That’s very interesting about holding off. How long can you do it?”
“Hold an erection? Indefinitely.”
“Really?” She licked her dry lips. “You mean like . . . half an hour?”
“I mean hours.” His deep velvet voice stroked her senses. “I can hold off on ejaculation for months. Building the energy until I decide to let it go.”
Hours. She imagined his large, erect cock thick and hard inside her . . . thrusting deep . . . over and over again . . . giving her orgasm after orgasm.
She rested her hand on the back of the chair, suddenly weak-kneed. She didn’t know whether to tear off her clothes and drag him into her arms or to fight this incredible heat simmering between them with everything she had.
