I couldn’t help but wonder if he was purposely avoiding me and making me worry since I’d upset him earlier. It took everything I had not to jump the gun and assume I’d sent him fleeing straight back into the lithe, skinny arms of Ava Fox.
I closed my eyes and counted to one hundred. I flipped to my stomach. I turned on my side. I read a few pages of a novel. I watched an episode of some reality show rerun. Nothing was working. My brain wouldn’t shut off.
By midnight, I forced myself to shut off the T.V. and relax. By one, Hudson came crawling in the door. Tiptoeing really. I pretended to sleep, eyes shut tight, as I heard him undress and felt him climb under the covers.
Normally when we slept, we spooned. He stayed on his side of the bed, not inching any closer than he had to. I felt him roll to his side, opposite me, and within seconds, his light breathing told me he was out cold.
***
I’d just poured myself a bowl of cold cereal the next morning when my phone dinged. It was a text from Alec.
HAVE YOU HEARD?
That’s all it said and it was enough to make my stomach drop. I hastily typed back “no” as fast as my fingers would let me. What was he talking about?
“Alec, what are you talking about?” I had to call him. He was taking too long to reply.
“You didn’t hear it from me,” he prefaced it. I suddenly felt nauseous and pushed away my bowl of cereal.
“What?” I asked, voice full of dread.
“According to Gossipstalker.com, Ava Fox was committed to a mental health institute yesterday. Last night actually,” he said.
“Really,” I said, though I wasn’t asking. I knew it had to be true, and I knew that had to have explained where Hudson was and why he didn’t contact me.
“Why do you say it like that?” Alec said, totally catching my tone.
“I’ll tell you another time,” I said. “I have to go.”
Hudson came shuffling down the hall the moment I hung up. He walked right past me and opened the door to the refrigerator.
“Where were you last night?” I asked as our backs were towards each other.
He didn’t answer until I spun around in my chair to look at him. He seemed tired, exhausted really.
He poured himself a glass of orange juice before coming over and sitting next to me. I could tell this conversation wasn’t going to be pretty.
“I was with Ava last night,” he said. He lacked any kind of emotion. “She was threatening to harm herself yesterday. I was the only person she asked for. I had to go. I didn’t have a choice.”
“Oh,” I said. “A phone call or a text would’ve been nice.”
“Believe me,” he said as he looked me straight in the eyes. “I wanted to.”
“You couldn’t send a quick text on your way to be with her?” I asked.
“It all happened so fast,” he said. “I didn’t have time to think. I just had to act. I had to get there before she did anything rash. She was making all kinds of threats, and she told me she’d swallowed a bottle of pills. I was on the phone with the National Mental Health Crisis center getting tips on what to say to talk her down.”
He seemed stressed as he relived the previous nights’ events. As Hudson ran his fingers through his hair, my anger began to dissolve and turn into sympathy. Ava was a human, just like anyone else.
He was a good man, I reminded myself. He was only doing the right thing.
“She wouldn’t let me contact you,” he said. “The entire thing was just a power play with her. She loves having control over me and she knows my weak points.”
“But don’t you think you kind of allow it?” I said. “You allow her to manipulate her.”
“Maybe,” he said as he shook his head a little. “I don’t know. I just thought I was doing the right thing. She was in hysterics. She texted me a picture of the empty pill bottle.”
“Hudson,” I said flatly. “She’s an actress.”
He breathed in through flared nostrils. “I know that, Brynn.”
“So where did you leave things?” I asked. “Are you going to see her again? Did she con you into some sort of visitation arrangement?”
“Psh,” he said. “I finally called mobile crisis. She was taken by ambulance to a local hospital.”
“Sounds like that’s exactly where she belongs,” I said. The entire thing was sad really. She was so desperate to have Hudson back in her life that she was going to extreme measures now.
“Hey, now,” he said. “That’s a little harsh.”
“You’re too nice for your own good,” I said to him. “I need to know, are you going to see her again?”
“I don’t know,” he said. At least he was being honest, but his words stung. “Brynn, you know I love you and only you.”
I said nothing.
“You know that, right?” he reiterated. He reached over and placed his hand on top of mine, then brought it up to his lips and kissed it. “Let’s stop with the nonsense.”
“Okay,” I relented.
“I think it’s going to be in the best interest of everyone involved if we can smooth things over with Ava,” he explained. “She’s having a hard time believing it’s really over between us, and I think the fact that I’ve fallen for a sweet, Midwestern girl who’s the complete opposite of her just drives her crazy.”
“Really?” I said, trying to hide the smile that was working its way across my lips. How could Ava Fox be jealous of little old me? I was a nobody.
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “She’s super jealous of you. Of us. She doesn’t understand why I’m not still pining for her.”
“I’m sure she has her pick of men in this town. Why’s she so fixated on you?” I asked. “No offense.”
“Who knows,” he said. “She wants what she can’t have, I guess.”
“Do you think it would help things if I talked to her? Woman to woman?” I offered. It was going to be hard, and I was going to be nervous, but I was willing to do it if it would force her to move on and leave us alone.
Hudson pressed his lips together as he thought about it. He tossed his head from side to side, not answering.
“So?” I said, growing impatient. “Want me to meet with her?”
“I don’t think that’d be such a great idea,” he said. “But I appreciate that you’d be willing to do that. That’s really sweet.”
“Not a great idea?” I asked. “I don’t see what the problem would be. I’d be perfectly nice and cordial to her. I’d tell her that you and I are in love. I’d tell her she needs to move on. Simple as that.”
Hudson’s face cringed as he squirmed a little in his seat.
“Ava doesn’t operate like that,” he said.
“Clearly,” I said. “I’ve seen the way she operates first hand. I just think it’s important for me to stand up for myself, to stand up for us. She’s going to keep doing these crazy things to get your attention until one of us puts a stop to it.”
“Maybe,” he mused as he stared down at the ground. I would’ve given anything in that moment to know what he was thinking.
“I think you should at least consider it. Think about it. Sleep on it,” I insisted. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get her out of our life and out of our relationship. All of our issues seem to involve her.”
“A lot of our issues wouldn’t be issues if you didn’t make them issues,” he said, though he kept his tone delicate.
“I’m working on that,” I snipped.
Hudson laughed. “Okay.”
CHAPTER 22
“Hi, Mom!” I said as I ran up to my mother LAX and wrapped my arms around her. She looked so touristy, but I didn’t care. Her ball cap covered her thinning, brownish-gray hair, and her eyes were a little bloodshot. She didn’t smell like alcohol, which was a relief, and I couldn’t hug her tight enough.
She hugged me back, tight, and neither of us wanted to let go. I missed her so much, and it meant the world to me that she was finally going to
get the help she needed.
“Hi, Hudson,” she said as she finally let go of me and walked over to Hudson. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him just as tightly. “Thank you.”
He nodded as she tried to fight the tears that were forming in her eyes. I could tell she was ready to get better. Not only was he giving her her life back, he was giving her her daughter back too.
We grabbed her bag, hopped in Hudson’s car, and headed out to the Paradiso Treatment Facility. It was right off the coast and nestled on a sprawling little seaside acreage with a million trees. The building was stuccoed and painted white with a red tile roof.
My mom was nervous when we checked in, but she was trying her hardest to hide it. She hadn’t left Rock River in at least ten years, maybe more, and she was completely out of her element. It had to be scary, especially when she was as sober as she was that day.
“Ma’am, you’ll be in room twelve,” the check in clerk told her. She had kind eyes. “Roberta will be here to show you to your room in a second.”
We waited patiently for the treatment coordinator to arrive and take us to her room and orient her. We were told the orientation was for patients only. We couldn’t attend. Our temporary goodbye came much sooner than I expected.
“Now, you’ll take as long as you need, right?” Hudson asked her. “Don’t worry about a thing. Just get better.”
“Thank you,” my mom said to him, again with misty eyes. “Thank you more than you’ll ever know.”
Hudson smiled, his eyes compassionate. He reached over and took my hand, squeezing it in his.
“We better go, Mom,” I said. I hated leaving her in such an unfamiliar place, but I knew it had to be done.
She nodded and smiled. She understood.
As we walked away, I turned to take in one last look at her. Her ratty jeans, faded t-shirt and foggy eyes were a reminder of the person she was. It was going to be the last time I’d see her that way. By the time she was done with her treatment, she was going to be the mother I always knew she could be, and I couldn’t wait.
“Thanks, Hudson,” I said to him as we walked out to his car.
“No problem,” he said as he scouted the parking lot for hiding paparazzi. I didn’t even think about the risk he was taking by being seen at a treatment facility, but he was doing it for me.
As we cruised down the highway right alongside the gorgeous Pacific ocean, I couldn’t help but think about how amazing Hudson was. He had changed my life in so many ways, and I knew I’d never be able to repay him in a million years. He never asked for much. Actually, he never asked for anything. The only thing he wanted was me.
We rode in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts, until his phone went off. He had a text. He pulled his phone from his pocket and peeked at the screen. From what I could tell it was a message from Ava asking him to call her right away.
His entire demeanor shifted. He seemed agitated and inconvenienced. Our perfect little day was immediately soured by that one little text message.
“Who’s that?” I asked as I feigned innocence.
“Ava,” he replied right away. He didn’t seem happy about it, which was a huge relief for me.
“Call her,” I said. “It’s okay.”
He turned to look at me as if he didn’t believe me.
“Really,” I laughed. “Call her. I’m fine with it.”
Part of me just wanted to be nosy. I wanted to hear the entire conversation or at least his half of it.
“Ava,” Hudson said with the phone pulled to his ear.
I couldn’t make out the words on the other end, but it sounded like a bunch of words jumbled together.
“Ava, are you drunk?” he asked. “No, I can’t come over.”
I secretly reveled in that. One point Brynn, no points Ava.
“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I can’t. I’m with Brynn. Do you need me to call mobile crisis again?”
I heard her scream into the phone. Apparently the mention of mobile crisis was enough to send her over the edge.
“She just wants attention, Hudson,” I whispered. He ignored me.
“I’m with Brynn,” he told her again. “I can’t come over. And I can’t keep coming over.”
Keep coming over? How many times had he been over there?
“Seriously?” he asked. He turned towards me and held the phone close to his chest. “She said you can come too.”
I was shocked as my stomach fell hard and fast. I’d daydreamed a million times about going to Ava’s place and telling her off, but I never imagined she’d willingly welcome me onto her turf. What kind of game was she trying to play?
“Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll go.”
Hudson put the phone back up to his mouth. “We’ll be there shortly.”
***
I said hardly a word on our drive to Ava’s. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. In my head, I practiced telling her off. I rehearsed my zingers and come backs and quips. I memorized everything I was going to say to her. I wanted to tell her to get a life and stay out of ours. Hudson was mine. He didn’t have time for her antics, and quite frankly, neither did I.
I was nothing but a ball of brazen energy until we pulled up into the driveway in front of her Malibu beach house. The house was tall, at least three stories, and very modern with clean lines. It wasn’t homey like Hudson’s place. It was square and intimidating.
“You okay?” Hudson asked as he noticed my heavy breathing. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
“I’m fine,” I insisted. “Let’s go.”
As we walked the long walk to her front door, my knees were wobbly and lightheadedness set in. For a second I swore I was going to fall over, so I walked behind Hudson. I didn’t want him to see me turn into a ball of nerves.
I’d dreamt of getting another chance to tell Ava off, just like I’d done that day in the boutique, but only this time I wouldn’t run away crying. I’d hold my ground. I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly scared. She was up to something, I could feel it. It was probably more a fear of the unknown instead of a fear of Ava herself.
We rang the doorbell and the shrill barks of a pack of yapping dogs filled my ears. A young girl, not any older than myself, answered the door. It was probably her assistant.
“Hi, Hudson,” the girl said as she tried to play it cool. I could tell she was thrilled to be in his presence. “Come on in. I’ll get Ava.”
We walked in and took a seat in the living room. The house was the epitome of modern Calfornia coastal style, and the floor to ceiling windows showcased her breathtaking ocean views.
Hudson and I sunk down into her plush, overstuffed white sofa that was covered in a gazillion pillows with a gazillion patterns in multiple shades of flax, ivory, and cobalt blue.
I couldn’t stop looking around at her place. It was a work of art, truly, second only to Hudson’s. I wondered if they shared a decorator.
“Hudson,” Ava said as she walked towards us from the bottom of the stairs. Her hair was pulled back, revealing her ridiculously high cheekbones, and her lithe frame was wrapped in a pale peach silk robe. She hoisted one hand on her boney hip while her other hand held up a dirty martini. It felt like a scene from a movie, but I supposed most movie stars were naturally dramatic.
One thing was for certain, Ava Fox knew how to make an entrance.
“Hi, Ava,” I said in an attempt to acknowledge the fact that she’d blatantly ignored me.
“Hi, Brynn,” she said in the fakest voice I’d ever heard. “How are you doing today, sweetie?”
She couldn’t have been more condescending in her tone, but I vowed not to let it bother me.
Ava took a few steps closer to us, towards an overstuffed chair, and she nearly tripped over the sisal rug that covered the hand scraped walnut floors. She was clearly drunk, but she didn’t seem embarrassed.
“What can we help you with, Ava?” Hudson asked. I loved that he was including me.
>
Ava stood up from her chair, the one she’d barely kept warm for more than three seconds, and sauntered over to Hudson, sitting extra close to him on the opposite end of the sofa.
She hooked a lanky arm around his shoulders and rested her head on him as she nursed her martini. She was acting a complete fool, and part of me was livid that Hudson was tolerating her behavior.
“You know what I want,” she said in the drunkest voice ever. “Silly.”
Hudson and I exchanged glances. This was Ava Fox, unfiltered and undone.
“I need you, Boo-Boo,” she cooed. She took another sip of her drink, slurping it loudly. She had to have been going on more than a few drinks already.
Hudson sat rigid, his hands resting on his knees. He looked at me as if he were helpless. The man who pursued me back home in Iowa, the man who dominated my mind and my body when we were alone, was helpless when it came to Ava Fox. His kind heart, the most amazing thing about him, was also his biggest downfall.
“Ava, you need help,” he said, avoiding eye contact with her.
“No, I don’t,” she pouted. “I don’t need help, Hudson, I need you. You know that. We talked about it. Don’t you remember?”
I squirmed in my seat, hating that I was dying to know what they’d talked about. And when. My body felt hot as a wave of jealousy rushed over me, but I quickly pushed it away.
Hudson was a good man, I reminded myself. Ava was just trying to get inside my head.
“Ava, you really do need help,” I said. I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. If Hudson wasn’t going to stand up to her, I had to.
Ava moved her head up from Hudson’s shoulder and stared me squarely in the face.
“You know nothing,” she growled in the creepiest voice I’d ever heard. I’d never had anyone look at me with so much hatred in their eyes before. It chilled me to the core.
“I know that Hudson wants to be with me,” I said, attempting to hold my ground with her. “And I want to be with him. There’s no room for you in our life.”
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