by N Kuhn
Knowing that Mr. Landers in the audience here somewhere is relaxing. I was surprised when I asked if he would come, and he agreed. He had said something to me that no one in my life ever did.
“Travis, Rose and I are so proud of everything you have accomplished. You’re doing great, and have overcome so much. Keep it up son.” Those few words, they meant more to me than anything I had ever heard my entire life. Bas turns around to glare at me, snickering at Max. Max just stares ahead. From what I’ve heard, they are still smoking, doping, drinking and fucking their way through the world, even Max has been photographed partying like he never did before. Except he’s apparently into men, which explains why he never got into the groupies like we did. My father, being more washed up now than ever, took my place as lead singer. From what the tabloids said, he had a bad over-dose in Germany and they may be replacing him. But there he sits, his back to me. His own son, and he can’t even look me in the eyes, can’t check on me, talk to me, and acknowledge me. Up next is album of the year, and we are both nominated. People have talked for months about who will win this category. Death Poison or it’s ex lead singer. As the woman approaches the mic, I zone out. Sitting up straight, knowing that the cameras are on me, I wait. As the room bursts into applause, it takes the man next to me, nudging me with his elbow, to realize it was my name they called out. I won Album of the Year. Unbelievable. The walk to the stage is conflicting. I’m happy I won, sad Death Poison didn’t. Sad I have no one to celebrate with, but happy about that, it means no temptation at the parties everyone throws. Walking up onto stage, I’m glad that the lights are bright. It blinds me to the audience. With a shaky hand, I accept the award, and stand at the mic.
“I want to thank the fans, first and foremost. You made this happen. You believed in me when I went solo and it means so much to me. Joshua Landers, for all his help along the way. You’ve been a rock when I needed you the most. To his daughter Brittany. Britt, no matter what, you’re my first and only love. Your encouragement made the difference in me giving up, and going forward. Last, though not on good terms, I’d like to thank my father. For the first guitar he gave me at the age of twelve, that one present has meant more to me than anything I ever owned. It molded me, made me who I am today. Thank you.” The eruption of applause is deafening. My head feels like I’m swimming. Slowly, I turn and follow the usher off stage. What waits for me in the wings, surprises me more than winning. Brittany, in a white tank top, tight blue jeans, and her high heels. Just the way I always loved to see her after a show. Walking up to me, she throws her arms around my neck. I hold her against my body, wondering if I’m dreaming or if she’s really there.
“Congratulations. I love you too Travis,” she says to me. Unable to stop them, tears flow down my face. She pushes away from me, taking my face in her hands, and kisses me. That moment, the world around us ceases to exist. Her lips moving against mine, her body warm against me, it’s all I know. With my eyes still closed, she pulls back, laughing. Opening, to look at her, I see what made her giggle. The hallway is lined with paparazzi, who are supposed to interview the winners on the walk back to their seats. They instead have been taking photos of what delayed me.
“You sure you want to be in the tabloids again?” I ask her, “Dressed like that? Won’t your husband be mad?” She looks at me like I’m an idiot.
“I didn’t marry Aiden. Don’t you and daddy talk all the time?”
I don’t hear anything else she says. The words sink in. She didn’t marry him. She isn’t with that asshole. She’s mine. Mine and always will be. Laughing, I almost drop my award. Wrapping my arms around her, I lift her against me, off her feet, and crush her.
“God Britt, I love you so much.” The paparazzi get anxious, and start yelling at us. I have to wonder where they come up with this shit.
“Is that Brittany Landers?”
“Are you two back together?”
“Travis are you crying?”
“Does your father know you’re gay?”
“Travis, will you stay sober for her?”
“What if your stalker gets out of jail, can you protect her?” Ignoring them all, I place Britt back on her feet, take her hand and lead her out of there. Since I was the last award announced for the night, I’m done, and can leave. Mr. Landers and I were supposed to meet at a restaurant afterwards, to catch up. So I take Brittany to my limo, and instruct the driver to head there. We have time to kill, as he will be lost in the crowd trying to exit the ceremony. Throwing my award onto the seat, I pull Brittany into my lap and take a real look at her. Though a few years older, she looks exactly like she did at twenty one. Her angelic face, framed by golden blonde hair. Those eyes, that always saw through my bullshit, her pouty lips, and pert breasts.
Leaning down, she kisses me, and rocks her hips. Grinding herself against my cock, it instantly hardens.
“Mmm Britt, what are you doing? I don’t see you in years and you just jump me like this? Please, can we catch up before meeting your father? He did come didn’t he?” Seeing the worry in my eyes, she laughs.
“Yes, he’s here. He will meet us at the restaurant. I don’t even want to tell you how many of his friends he had to bribe to get me backstage to wait for you. Then, I wasn’t even guaranteed to see you, you know, if you didn’t win. They wouldn’t say anything. Travis, we’ve been apart so long, I don’t want to waste one more minute. I need this, need you, now.” No more words, just actions. She slides to the floor of the moving limo, undoing my pants along the way. Her slender, soft hand, reaches into my pants, and pulls out my cock. As she frees me from my pants, my dick pops up in her face and she giggles.
“I’ve missed this so much.” Her voice is low and sultry.
Wrapping her moist lips around it, my hips buck, and my breath hitches at the feeling. I have been celibate. I haven’t had sex with a single person, since that day in her treehouse. No one compares to Brittany, so I just figured I would spend my life alone. Without her, I wanted no one. This, along with the fact that she’s a dream come true for me, has me ready to go. My cock throbs between her lips. She looks up, and I’m transfixed to her gaze. It’s the most exciting thing I’ve ever seen, or felt. She teases me with her tongue. Licking my head, then down the shaft and back up. Shoving all of me into her mouth, and then off, repeating the process. It’s like a slow torture, full of wonderful sensations. Just when I don’t think I can take anymore, she envelopes my dick in her hand, takes me in her mouth and her head bounces up and down as she sucks. Closing my eyes, and tilting my head back, the groans that emerge from my mouth, sound more like pain, than the amazing things I’m really feeling.
“Oh god Britt, I’m gonna cum,” I say, trying to push her off of me. She doesn’t move. Instead, she does something that she never did before. She swallows me, all of it, and when she’s milked my cock for all it had, so looks up, her big beautiful eyes looking through me, and smiles.
“I love you Travis. Always.” Growling loudly, I grab her shoulders, hoisting her up to me.
“You’re mine, always.” The smile on her face brightens, and her eyes sparkle. Something between us vibrates. Laughing to herself, she slides down to the seat next to me.
“Hello daddy. Yes, we are on our way. See you soon.” Hanging up, she wraps her hands around my arms and leans her head on me.
“My mother said she always knew we would end up with each other. Even back when they didn’t like you, they just knew that we couldn’t be kept apart.” Kissing her forehead, I tilt her chin so she’s looking at me.
“I didn’t. I spent years trying to get over you, to forget you. It didn’t work. You’re all I’ve ever thought about. Every song has been about you.”
“I know,” stroking my arm, she twists her whole body to face me, “I know Trav. I’ve heard them all. Been to a bunch of your shows.”
“What? Why didn’t you come see me then?”
“You know, the tabloids said you were dating that actress, then you were
with that model. I just didn’t think I could compete with that.” Laughter bursts from my mouth, and there’s no stopping it. My whole body rumbles with it. Pulling Brittany in to hold her tight against my body, she tries to pull away.
“What the hell are you laughing at Travis Dane? I’m being serious, trying to tell you how I felt.”
“Britt, its ok. That actress, was part of my tour for a bit, she’s a singer too. The model, has been going to AA meetings and I’m helping her. Granted there’s not much I can do for her when I’m on the road, but I do what I can. I haven’t fucked anyone since you.”
“Now you’re just lying. What about Stacey? I have those photos remember.”
“Since that day in your treehouse, which was after her.” As if looking at me and really seeing me for the first time, she pulls back. Her eyes roam my face. Seizing the moment, I lower my mouth to hers, taking her, making her mine. Stretching her leg over me, she’s back in my lap.
“How much further to the restaurant?” she asks breathlessly.
“We’re here now.”
“Ugh,” she throws herself back on the seat, trying to adjust herself. As the chauffer opens the door, we get out. Her long blonde hair blowing in the warm LA breeze. Reaching her hand up to try and fix it, I take her wrist, stopping her.
“You look amazing Britt. No one can compete with you,” I whisper in her ear as her father approaches us.
“Daddy, hey there.”
“Mr. Landers,” I reach out to shake hands, but he entangles me in a hug. True affection. This family shows me more than mine ever did. “You’re too good to me sir. It makes me dream for the day I can have a son or daughter of my own. There’s so much I’m going to do different than what my parents did with me.”
“Well, I’m sure you and Brittany are going to be wonderful parents. I’m proud of both of you kids.” My face heats up, and I look over at her. Her smile is blinding.
“Aw, daddy, you made him blush. How cute.” Taking my hand, she follows her dad into the restaurant where we celebrate my win with a feast. During conversation, Britt brings up my fan mail.
“How’s that going? I’m sure no one wants to write me.”
“You’d be surprised,” she says, pulling out a stack from her purse. Handing them to me, I start reading. Each letter is about how I helped inspire someone to get off of drugs, to change their life around. As I keep reading, I can feel the lump in my throat. Finally setting them down, I know if I keep looking at these, I’m going to cry and it’s the last thing I want right now. I’d rather enjoy my evening.
“This is amazing. Thank you for showing me,” I tell her, when I can finally use my voice. She deserves better than a recovering druggie and alcoholic, no matter what my fans think. But I won’t pass this up. Tonight is my last chance to have her, be with her, love her.
Rolling over, stroking the blonde that lays in bed next to me, I hear “Milkshake” playing on her phone. Shaking her now, I look down.
“You’re kidding me, right? You know I hate that damn song.” Giggling, she rolls over and turns her alarm off.
“Sorry Trav, I had to. I wanted to see your reaction to it. It reminds me of the old days, when we were young and carefree and didn’t have the responsibilities we have now.” Rubbing her face, I pull her in for a kiss.
“Well, now that we’re awake, and you have a few hours before you fly out, what do you want to do Vixen?” Wordlessly, she climbs on top of me, her naked body shining in the morning sun.
“Looks like you already know what I want to do,” pulling on my hard cock, she places it between her legs, and begins to run her wet pussy up and down, coating me. The smell, the taste, all of her, I’ve missed it so much. Running my hands down her smooth back, my fingers hover over her tattoo.
“Britt, I remember the day you got this. You said you were mine forever.” The little black and white guitar was her way of marking herself. So that everyone knew she belonged to me. Smiling at the memory, she laughs, and shoves my face in between her breasts. The smell of her body sets me off, and every muscle and every inch of me aches to be inside of her, touching her. The heat from her body is killing me. I’ve missed her so much. Taking the cue, I begin sucking on a small round nipple, while pinching and rolling the other in between my fingers.
Moans escape her mouth. Arching her back, she moves up and down against my hard dick. Grunting, I don’t want to wait. Not another second, not another minute. I’ve waited years. Positioning myself on the edge of the bed, I stand, lifting her seamlessly onto my cock, she sighs in pleasure. Letting her get used to me again, I feel the muscles pulsate around me. Her hot juices cover me, readying for the assault that’s about to happen. With two steps, we’re up against a wall, and cup her ass, holding her up to me. Her arms snake around my neck, playing with my hair. The tickling feeling of her fingers on my scalp invade my entire body. Slowly at first, I pull out, then slam back into her wet, tight pussy. Her grip on my neck tightens, and her moans get louder and I continue. Every movement inside of her feels like heaven. My balls tighten and throb, aching for release. As her moans of pleasure get louder, and turn to screams, her nails down my back tell me I’ve got her over the edge. Turning us away from the wall, I keep pumping in and out of her, watching her beautiful face as it twists and contorts with bliss. Her eyes are closed, and she’s biting her lip, as if afraid to let out the scream she holds in her throat.
Finally, the pressure is too much to hold, and I cum, spilling myself fully in to her. Succumbing to our orgasms, I fall back onto the bed, holding her tight to me, keeping myself in her, where I belong. Exhaling loudly, Britt reaches up, pushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.
“I need to shower. My flight is in three hours. You’ll be back in Buffalo tomorrow right?”
“Yes, I have an interview to do tonight, then I’m back. My next show is at The Arena. Sold out my first headlining show in my hometown. I can’t wait. You’ll be there right?” Nodding, she climbs out of the bed, and I watch her naked porcelain skin glisten with sweat as she walks. Pushing myself up to lean against the head board, I flip on the TV. As the news anchor comes on, the remote falls from my hand, and I can hear Brittany running to my side. I feel her shaking me, but I just can’t snap out of it. Running across the screen, ‘Rock star Sebastian Russell dies in drunk driving accident’. A howling sound emits from my throat. My heart is breaking. For the majority of my life, Bas was my best friend, my brother. He was there for me, and it had been years since our falling out, but it didn’t make it mean any less. I still missed him daily. When good things happen to me, he’s the first one I think about calling, then I would think of Brittany. I spent the last few years in a deep sorrow, feeling alone, Joshua being the only person reaching out to me. Realizing I’m crying, Brittany just holds me until I get it all out.
Walking out of the hotel, I’ve decided to cancel my interview and head back with her. My new label isn’t up my ass like Duke was. They understand, things happen. Exiting the lobby doors, we’re assaulted with cameras, snapping flashes, questions.
“Travis, how do you feel about Sebastian?”
“Are you glad he’s dead?”
“Will you start using again?”
“Did you cut his breaks?”
Ignoring them all, Britt and I push past them to the waiting limo. Climbing in, it’s a silent ride to the airport. Brittany holds my hand the whole way. It’s like she just knows that what I need right now is some time to think. I had already called his mother to extend condolences, and she asked me to speak at his funeral. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I tried to tell her we haven’t been close or even spoken in years.
“It doesn’t matter Trav. You two were brothers. You always will be, and it doesn’t matter. I’m sure he knows that you loved him. He always looked up to you. Followed you no matter what. I just wish he had followed when you cleaned up too.”
As our plane descends into Buffalo, we circle around Niagara Falls. Inspiration str
ikes and I know what to do. Squeezing Britt’s hand, she looks at me, smiling.
“You ok hon?” she asks me.
“Marry me.”
“What?”
“Marry me Britt. Now, as soon as we get off this plane, let’s go right to the courthouse, get the papers, and get married. Please. I’ve wasted so much of my life, I need you, and won’t let you walk away again.”
“Yes, always yes.” We must have been louder than I thought, because the people sitting around us all erupt into cheers. It’s like a movie. I’m grinning like an idiot, she’s sinking in her seat, cheeks burning red. I love this woman. I’ve finally smartened up.
Stepping out on stage, the day after Sebastian’s funeral, I look out at the cheering crowd. My hometown crowd, where it began and where it ends. I’m down some friends, one dead, one not speaking to me, but strangely I feel I’m where I belong. No regrets my counsellor tells me. No regrets because everything I’ve done and been through has brought me to where I am now. It’s made me the man I am. Strumming my new electric guitar, the beat reverberates off the walls, and the crowd goes silent.
“Hello Buffalo, it feels so good to be home. I’ve missed real chicken wings, and Labatt blue! You ready for some music? My new album Redemption comes out next week. I hope you will all like it. My muse is sitting right there in the front row.” Cheers again from the crowd, then as I begin, it goes silent again.
Yesterday was goodbye
Today is hello
We’re all given another chance
Take it and make it last
