by Sandra Grice
“Hi, I’m Laura, Laura McGeorge. Sorry, I get a little excited sometimes. You are Dale, right? I have seen you studying. Girl, you study so much. You would be good for me. I need more discipline. I am a one-L in section two; I guess you are in section one because your last name is Grayson. It’s a shame the two sections don’t interact more. I mean, misery loves company and we are all in this together. Right? I’m so sorry. Where are my manners? I do ramble on. But Dale, please consider being my roommate. Two can live cheaper than one and I am so tired of being cold all of the time. Please, just on a trial basis.”
Dale studied Laura. She was a couple of inches taller than Dale and had the most vivid green eyes she had ever seen. Her auburn hair was pulled back, but would probably be long and naturally curly. Dale could not decide if Laura was beautiful or cute; given her personality, she decided on cute. Laura baffled Dale a bit also. Normally, Dale would have been a bit put off by someone with such a strong personality, but not so with Laura. In fact, she found that she liked this enthusiastic stranger.
“Well, Laura, it’s nice to meet you. I am interested, but I’m not quite ready to commit. First of all there is Arthur, my cat.”
“You have a cat! I love cats. I had to leave my Kitt at home with my little sister. I just could not separate the two. But I love cats. This is perfect.”
“That is a good thing. But I am a very serious student, Laura. I don’t smoke and I don’t drink, so I am really quite boring. The most exciting thing I do is visit my folks once a month.”
“Oh, you are perfect, Dale. Just the right influence I need. Do you cook?”
Dale laughed; she could not help but like Laura. “No, I’m afraid I don’t do that either. But I do love to eat.”
“Girl, I am telling you this was just meant to be. I love to cook and eat. It’s no fun cooking for just one person though. Please, Dale, say yes. Say you will be my roommate.”
“If you can convince her, please let me know what your secret is. I’ve been trying to get her to go out with me ever since I nearly ran her over. I just don’t seem to have the right touch.”
Laura turned as Jason walked up behind them. Her eyes registered instant recognition. “Jason, buddy, what are you up to? Slumming again in the law library, I presume.”
Jason winked at Laura. “You got it, Laura. Dale, this is one of the friends I was telling you about the first time we met. We met when Laura was still an undergraduate here. You may want to stay away from this one – she is a pistol.”
Dale watched the two interact. She had encountered Jason a couple of times since that first day and every time he had asked her out. Finally she had to fully explain that dating was a distraction she refused to allow during her first year of law school. It was a promise she had made to herself. Yet Jason had tempted her - so much so that her daily prayers included strength in her resolve.
Laura mockingly punched Jason. “You are the one she needs to stay away from. Dale, you are a very wise woman to turn this guy down. He is nothing but trouble.”
Jason looked at Dale. “So, are you going to room with this knuckle-head? She probably could use the supervision.”
Laura jumped in before Dale could respond. “Tell you what, Dale, don’t answer that question yet. I can see you need time to think about it. So let’s do this. If it is okay with you, why don’t I come to your apartment and fix you a meal? We can eat and get to know each other. You can judge my cooking ability and Arthur and I can get to know each other.”
Dale liked the plan. “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll give you my address and you can come by around 6:00. I’ll even turn the heat up for you.”
“I like this more every minute!”
“Wait a minute, who is Arthur? And how come he gets to have dinner with Dale and I don’t?” Jason quizzed.
Dale and Laura looked at each other and laughed. It would be quite a while before Jason came to know who Arthur was, but in that endearing moment Jason had won a spot in Dale’s heart.
For Laura, the invitation into Dale’s life came much faster. After the introductory meal, both girls gave notice to their respective landlords and selected a nice two bedroom apartment near campus. The morning routine changed substantially. Each day Dale rose first and got the newspaper. Laura would race into the kitchen about a half an hour later and melodramatically announce the breakfast protocol.
“Don’t touch anything, Dale; your cooking stinks and your coffee is worse. I’ve got it under control. You sit, and I will cook. You know our deal. You tell me everything that is going on in the world and why it is a good or bad thing and I will feed the two of us. That way I won’t have to read the paper or think for myself this early in the morning, and neither of us will die of food poisoning. We got a deal?”
Indeed it was a wonderful deal for them both. Yet Dale did worry about Laura, especially when she went out to blow off some steam. Going out for Laura always meant having drinks and hanging out at the local bars. Still, the two understood each other’s different values and beliefs and did not interfere. In fact, they quickly became dear friends. Dale prayed every night for Laura. They had talked about everything together, including God. But Laura still did not fully understand the grace of Jesus and had not accepted Christ as Savior and Lord.
The other major conversation topic was Jason. Laura was enamored by him. “Dale, you are crazy not to go out with Jason. He is so hot, and what a nice guy. He’s going to be gone and you will be kicking yourself for the rest of your life. I’m telling you, girl, life is short. You are going to rue the day you tell him no for the last time. I sure wouldn’t let him out of my sight if he were asking me out!”
Dale knew Laura meant well with her “get your man while you can” speeches, but she held firm to her convictions. Her resolve was based on two principles. First and foremost, she had absolute faith that God would lead her to her intended mate. Secondly, she had a goal and she was determined to keep her eye on the goal, not on Jason. School was here and now; Jason would have to wait. If it were meant to be, he would.
Nonetheless, Jason persisted. He well-remembered Dale’s first year rule. And so he counted the days until that year was over. On the first day of Dale’s second year of law school he had a personalized pizza delivered to her favorite study carrel. True to form, she was there when it came.
She opened the box apprehensively and found a note inside. It simply read, “Dearest Dale, today is the first day of the rest of our lives together.” The pepperoni and mushroom pizza was her favorite. Knowing who it was from, she let out a whimsical sigh and looked down at the pizza. Her sigh turned into unbridled laughter. Much to her delight, she saw a dozen pepperonis arranged to spell ‘JASON’. Who could possibly turn down a guy with such persistence and humor?
“Well?” Jason suddenly peered over the top of the study cube. “Will you go out with me? Please say yes.”
“Yes,” she finally agreed. “Would you like to have some pizza with me for starters?”
Getting to know Jason was unnaturally natural for Dale. She felt immediately comfortable with him. It was, to her, almost eerie.
“Laura, I don’t know what it is about Jason, but I feel like I know him,” Dale had confided to her roommate her first week together with Jason.
“Well, duh – of course you know him, silly; you waited a year before you decided to let him take you out. Poor guy, you are one super lucky girl. Man, what a catch!”
“No, Laura; I mean I KNOW him, you know, like we have met before.”
“You mean like in another life or something? Ooh, girl, that’s so cool. Tell me more.”
“I don’t know, another life sounds crazy. It’s more like in this life, but before. Before law school; before I moved to Nashville. Oh, it’s silly; let’s just forget it.”
“No, no, it’s not silly at all. I read this article that said there is something to gut feelings like that. You should explore it, not ignore it. You know this other thing I read said that’s kinda
how people describe finding a soul mate. Is that what’s going on with you here, Dale? Is Jason your soul mate?”
“Oh Laura, you read way too much of that frivolous mass romance stuff. People who write and publish that stuff always have some kind of matchmaker side business going on. You can’t believe all they write or say. The real authority on romance is the Bible. Anyway, Jason and I have only been dating for a week now. How can I possibly say we are soul mates? Right now we are just a couple of people really enjoying each other’s company.”
“Okay, Miss Stick-in-the-Mud. But I’m telling you right now that if you don’t stop putting your mind over your heart when it comes to Jason, you are going to miss out on a really, really good thing. I can pretty much promise you that. Don’t give me that look; I’m just looking out for you. It’s what friends do, ya know.”
“I know what you are saying; I hear you and your insight is duly noted. Thank you, but we are going to do this the old fashioned way – slowly. There is no need to rush. If God means for us to be together then we shall be. I believe that with all of my heart.”
BROKEN TRUST
1983 – VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY LAW SCHOOL
Half-way through her second year of law school, Dale became eligible to participate in the annual moot court challenge. The courts were extracurricular activities involving teams of two. Each team competed to out-argue their opponents based on sound research and logical application to the stated facts. She signed up immediately and found a ready partner in a fellow two year student, Paul. By now everyone knew Dale never did anything without giving it her all, so many had sought the partnership.
Dale knew that the library would be abandoned on Friday night, and that was exactly why she chose this night to go there. Tonight would be an intensive research night for the moot court test case. She settled in at her favorite table ready to do the grunt work ahead. But as she took out her legal note pad she found an old journal notation and paused to read it. After her stigmatism disqualified her as an Air Force pilot, she had decided to pursue a career in law, and had written out her reasons why. The journal entry was almost three years old by now, but she had kept it to remind herself of the real reason she was here.
They call the study and practice of law a “jealous mistress.” Law is so demanding, so mind-twisting, that many never make it through the first year – even fewer to graduation. Jurisprudence is the foundation of our great nation, predating it by hundreds of years. As the bedrock of democracy, it is the original cloth from which the finest fabric of our free society – justice - was cut. Whether we care to admit it or not, we live on the edge of chaos in our everyday lives. This is evidenced by the multitude of news stories in which that edge is crossed, not just by the horrendous crimes of spilled blood or lost innocence, but also by every small action placing one’s self-interest over the rights of another.
The Socratic method of teaching has not died with the world’s early century philosophers. It stands as an open doorway for every law student who chooses to accept the invitation. It challenges common sense and common decency in some ways. Who among us has not been ridiculed by an elementary teacher who chides us for answering a question with a question, or a parent who scolds the ever-inquisitive young mind? The curiosity which allegedly led to the cat’s demise is also the catalyst for a thousand inventions and tens of thousands who still dream of future inventions.
Make no mistake; the law will not be mocked. Not by the hardened criminal whose recidivism enrages the citizenry, nor by the crooked judge who hides behind a robe of authority and grabs the filthy gains of crime. And not by the frivolous plaintiff who lives well on fabricated wrongs he or she has suffered. The law still stands honorable and strong; rooted in truth – seemingly tottering at times – but never toppled.
For thousands, attending the hallowed halls of law school is merely a business venture. It is nothing more than a means to a lucrative end. They search for a doctorate to hang on the wall so that by this magical parchment they can climb the ladder of fortune. For those students, this perspective of jurisprudence may be missed as a meaningless hyperbole. They may tolerate ethics as a part of their educational requirements, but it never germinates into a meaningful part of their lives or their practices.
But I want to be someone who aspires to more than monetary fulfillment. I want to know in my core that there is, in these studies, a gift to be received and then given away again. It is this desire that motivates me to stay the course. I hope always to have “making a difference” as my first priority. I hope always to persevere for the right reasons. My goal is to one day use my God-given talents for His glory, not for my own.
She put the journal back in her bag and shook her head. It was not written very well, but it was still how she felt. Some may call her a native idealist, but, she did not mind, as long as she did not lose her reason for being here. She pulled out her legal pad and went to work. It was going to be a long night. Happy that no one else was around to disturb her, she immediately dove into the case law. She had been there about an hour before it happened.
His cold hands wrapped around her neck and squeezed firmly. She jumped and let slip a startled cry. The books stacked on the table where she had been studying teetered precariously near the table’s end. She felt his presence as his lips neared her right ear. It was his smell she recognized first. Sweet, warm breath commingled with his manly aftershave. She knew it well.
“Jason, you nearly gave me a heart attack, you jerk.” Her genuine affection for him belied the insult.
He whispered playfully into her ear, “Dale, sweetheart, what’s a beautiful girl like you doing in such a dark, lonely place like this on a Friday night? Hey, doll, let me take you out for some fun. You remember what fun is, don’t you? You know, FUN – you and me laughing, eating, playing with good friends.”
He stood up and began to massage her shoulders. “You have knots in your neck the size of golf balls! Good gosh, woman, you are working way too hard. Relax - you are much too young for this. No worries, right?”
Dale dropped her pen on the neatly printed notes she had been taking. She turned to look full at his handsome face. Those eyes of his could almost always melt her resolve. It was one of few real temptations for her from her studies.
More than seven months had passed since their first pizza date, and the two had been almost inseparable. Oddly though, they could not have been any more different in temperament. He was the happy-go-lucky, life of the party guy. He made it seem like everything came easily for him. She was the bookish, hardworking student who loved a challenge and taking on the big boys to defend the powerless. Yet their differences seemed to complement each other rather than create conflict between them.
“Come on,” Jason pleaded, “put these books away for a few hours already. You and I can go and join Laura and Bob and we will have a great time. You know we will, so what do you say?” Jason flashed his most charming smile at her.
“Jason, the moot court competition is on Monday morning. I have to prepare. The team is relying on my research,” she protested.
“Shhhh, hon, that’s two days away, and I promised them we would show tonight. Please.”
Dale sensed her resolve giving in to his pleas. She would like nothing more than to enjoy the night with her friends, but she knew she would pay the price later. She needed a way to defend herself against his compelling offer. She settled on changing the subject.
“Hey, speaking of Laura and Bob, what’s going on with those two anyway? For weeks Laura couldn’t stop talking about him. And now it’s like they are always together, but something is different. Do you know anything?”
“Not a thing. Maybe she just realized Bob is not very into getting serious about anybody. He’s been out of law school for a year making good money for the first time in his life. Maybe he just wants to be free to sow some wild oats. You know, that’s just who he is.”
“Yeah, I know, and I love Laura like a sister, but she really needs c
ommitment, or really wants it anyway. But, babe, back to us; I really can’t make it tonight. We are so close to winning this thing, and no one ever gave us a chance. I just have to get some more case law to support our position to add to our brief. Then the team will polish our oral arguments tomorrow. I promise you after Monday ….”
“No, not after Monday, you mean after Monday night, after you win.” His chocolate eyes looked into hers – piercing, prancing, and taunting her. He leaned over to offer her a kiss, his eyes pleading with her to meet him.
Unable to resist the temptation any longer, she allowed the interruption. He closed in to her and found her lips. She kissed him warmly. So tender were his lips that her heart literally fluttered within her. There was a flow of affection going out and coming in to her. It had been a year before they first went out; and now seven months later they had still not slept together. He knew she would never do such a thing outside of marriage. But she realized in that moment of passion that she had fallen for him and did not even know when it had happened.
“Wow,” he gasped, “what was that for? I mean I’d like to know what I did to deserve that so I could do it again and again – about a million times.”
“It’s just that, well, I love how much you understand me.” That is not what she meant to say, not what she was really feeling. What she meant was that she loved him. Why couldn’t she tell him so? After all, he had already expressed his love for her. And she had heard all of the stories about people who didn’t ever get a chance to say “I love you” before some tragedy struck. But something had stopped her. What was it? Fear? She felt she loved him, she felt she knew him, she felt she wanted to live out her days with him, share her life with him. But she didn’t know it – not a knowing of certainty, but a knowing beyond feeling. Her Bible studies had taught her much about the deception of feelings. So, for the moment, that was all she allowed herself to say.