Great. Just freaking great.
I didn’t take the coat Jason bought me. The engagement ring is on the bedside table. I have taken only what I came with squashed into a carry-on. He can bring the rest when he returns to Cali. I don’t care what I have to do to get the money to help Jamaica, but staying a single second more in the tomb of a house with Jason will result in me wearing prison attire, and orange isn’t my color.
My scalp still stings from where he hauled me off the ice before the entire staff. Humiliation drips through me and tears burn my eyes. The look on Jason’s face was fierce, his grip on my shoulder painful as he propelled me toward the shore like a naughty child with absolutely no explanation. But that’s it. I’ll never get an explanation from Jason. He’s a closed book, and this librarian is checking out.
I pull out my phone and check ‘Jake’s’ progress. Still seventeen minutes away and counting. While I have my phone open, I email Jamaica, begging her to contact me.
I slide my phone into my pocket and note there’s a black SUV driving slowly toward me. It looks like they’re scanning for something or someone.
My heart clenches, and my jaw ticks.
A black Land Rover stops beside me. The passenger window eases down.
“Asia, would you get in the car?”
I look the other way.
Come on, Jake, in your reasonably priced black Hyundai Sonata.
“Please.”
Like that’s going to cut it.
“Do I have to come out and get you?” he says in his usual demanding voice.
“Try it, and I will inflict harm if you so much as lay one finger on me.” My chin snaps up. I stare into stormy eyes, brimming with emotion.
I ward off another bout of shivers.
“I’m sorry.”
I shrug. “I don’t care. I’m leaving. I’ll sell my liver, a kidney, and plasma to get the money I need. What I won’t do is spend another minute with you and your unpredictable moods, and the wall of secrecy around you. Find another assistant because this one is riding out of here in a black Hyundai Sonata any moment now.”
I’m done. I had a lovely memory of my grandmother and me skating, her radiant smile as I spun around the ice, and he ruined it, and the kicker is he’ll never tell me why. I will get another job. I saw a ‘Help Wanted’ ad at the local diner. Hell, I’ll hit up my friend Brutus to see if there are any openings at Costco. I’m all up for stocking Kirkland on the graveyard shift.
Jason is out of the SUV and sitting beside me. I shuffle farther away from him into the driving rain. He sighs, gets up, and takes the seat in the rain, shuffling me into the shelter.
“For fuck’s sake.” He rakes a hand through his hair.
I stare straight ahead.
“Asia, please, I can’t take any more today.” He reaches for my hand, but I bat it away, then side glance at him. His eyes are pools of agony. His face is deathly gray and strained.
I take the bait. Because, you know, idiot. “Take more of what?”
“Let me take you back.”
I take a deep breath. “You’re deflecting again. Avoiding answering the question. It’s what you do. I’ve Googled some therapists and emailed you the details.”
Uncomfortable silence squeezes between us.
I notice his bare feet peeking out from black jeans and huff out a laugh. “You have smiley faces on your feet.”
“My feet got cut up by the ice.” Rain is running off his hair and dripping down his neck. He’s hunched over his knees.
I nod. “Ah, when you were publicly humiliating me and taking away a memory of my grandmother.” My throat is thick, and my eyes burn. “Now, the memory will be of you dragging me off the ice by my hair.” Tears pool in my eyes, but I won’t let them fall. Not for this man.
“Not humiliating you, Asia. Saving you.” His dark eyes burn into mine. “Please come back, and I’ll explain everything.”
A beep distracts me. Jake is waving.
“It’s really important.” Dark eyes implore me.
Jason, being typical Jason, doesn’t say what it is.
“What is it?” I hold his stare.
He blows out a breath. “It’s about our future.”
My eyebrows pinch in. “We don’t have a future.”
“Come, I’ll explain everything.” He stands and holds out his hand.
“Do you promise to tell me everything?”
I’m still not convinced that he won’t back out and give me the Cliff Notes.
He’s pale and agitated by the amount of times he’s running his hand through his hair. (Nineteen)
“I promise.”
Make or break. Stay or flee. Take a chance or forever wonder.
“Please,” he pleads. Jason does not plead. This is a first.
I nod once. Jason pulls his wallet and passes a perplexed Jake a fifty.
I climb into the Range Rover and shiver in the heated seats.
The short ride back is quiet. Both of us, I guess, are lost in our thoughts until Jason breaks the silence.
“You didn’t read my horoscope today.”
I take a while to think about this.
“You have to trust in something or someone. Your gut, life, destiny, karma, your therapist. Take a risk. I read it somewhere.”
“It’s on your desk.” That surprises me. I didn’t think he’d ever noticed my desk. As if reading my mind, he adds, “Next to the cactus in a pot that says, ‘Once a prick, always a prick’. I figured it was aimed at me.”
Got me there.
He scrubs his hands across his face, and my heart bottoms out. “Song of the day: Comfortably Numb.”
He huffs out a laugh, but it’s not a happy sound, then rakes his hand through his hair. “Yeah, feels about right.”
“So,” I start and get no further before he cuts in.
“We’re going to need shots. Strike that, we’re going to need a bottle from the top shelf. Meet me in our room?”
I nod.
His warm hand cups my frozen cheek. “I’m sorry.”
His voice is rough and packed with emotion.
“For the past and the future.”
On that cryptic note, I haul ass to our room where a fire is building. I shower and dry my hair, then drag the most uncomfortable chair in the world closer to the fireplace. Jason enters carrying a bottle, two shot glasses, and a plate of sandwiches. My stomach both rumbles and clenches. At the look in Jason’s eyes, I freeze.
Chapter Twenty
Jason
I’ve had two shots. I need twelve. Even thinking about that day collapses lungs, screws electrical pulses in the brain, and makes me want to hurl.
The thing is, I don’t do emotions. I mean, I may have back in the day when I was four or something, but the truth is I never have. But I know I’m going to be unlocking some pretty heavy shit if I’m going to get Asia to stay, marry me, and convince my grandmother I am deeply in love with my assistant.
Hindenburg meet the Titanic.
“The thing is,” I start, clear my throat, and find Asia’s suspicious gaze on me. “You see, what’s happened is…”
Should I just go down on one knee and ask her to make me the happiest man on Earth?
“Not like you to be tongue-tied.” She sips a shot of aged whiskey.
You should really bolt about five down straight.
My liquid courage has faded. I’m doing this without alcohol fueling my system.
I take a deep breath. “The thing is, Asia, I need you to marry me in a couple of days with a small ceremony, just family.”
Asia throws back her head and laughs. Really laughs. Her body shakes, and her gorgeous eyes sparkle.
“Wait, is the shaggy dog going to make an appearance? Will we ride off into the sunset in a people mover trailing metal cans, just married written on the back window?”
My eyes never leave hers.
The laughter in the room dies a swift death.
“Wait.” She moves forward in her
chair and directly into my space. Damn that vanilla coconut lotion which invades my senses and scatters my brainwaves. Her minty, whiskey breath is whipping my blood. “You’re serious?” she whispers.
“I am. Since we’re engaged in my grandmother’s eyes, she suggested we have the ceremony here, before we go back to California.” I wave my hand in the air like a conductor. “Make her happy and all.” Time to sweeten the deal. “I’ll pay you a shit ton of money, and when we’re back in California, we’ll get it annulled. I’ll get the lawyers working on it.”
“You’re unbelievable.” Her eyes narrow, and she practically hisses at me.
“Money, Asia. Think of the money.” It is, after all, a logical argument. I have a lot, and she doesn’t. “I’ve hashed out a prenup.” I mean there’s money, and then there’s stupidity.
“A prenup?” she screeches.
“Well, yeah. I’m prepared to make a generous settlement—”
“You can’t throw money at me, Jason, and expect me to up and marry you.” She’s standing now, snorting like a feisty little bull, fisted hands on her hips. I’m hard just looking at her, which is fucked up considering the subject matter. My cock should be crawling back inside my body making signs of the cross.
“Well, it’s quite a lot of money,” I reason. Something about money and her working for me when we’re married niggles, but I push it aside, for now.
“What about flowers, the dress, being so in love your heart bursts when you walk down the aisle toward the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? Vows, lying to the big guy upstairs.”
I perk up. “I can do the flowers and get the wedding dress of the century.” I beam at her. I’m ignoring the rest.
“What about romance, love, heart-bursting emotions?” My assistant takes a step toward me. More nausea churns my gut.
“You look like you threw up in your mouth.”
I rake a hand through my hair. “I think I did.”
“I only want to get married once, to the man of my dreams. The man who’ll look at me when I’m seventy and tell me I’m beautiful, the man who wants to jiggle grandkids on his knees, the man I’m so in love with we’ll die together taking our last breath.” Her eyes glisten. “Vows mean a lot to me, Jason. A fake relationship is one thing, but marriage is sacred.”
I can feel the blood swooping from my head. I want exactly none of what she wants.
Under different circumstances and all.
She places the barely sipped shot glass on the table. “Do you want to tell me what’s really going on?”
“It’s the house. I need it.”
And I do. In a fucked-up way I need it. James and my mom’s ashes are here. I may not have the balls yet to see where they are scattered, but it would cut me in half to think of anyone else walking over them. I hate being here, but part of me will always be here.
Asia throws her hands in the air. “Why? You said it’s a tomb.”
“I just do.” I grit my teeth.
“The answer is no.” She stands and picks up her bag. “Goodbye, Jason.”
My limbs shake and are seemingly frozen at the same time. I’m running my hands through my hair so much it should come out in clumps.
“This is where James’s ashes are.” My throat is raw meat. I’m shaking so badly I sit on the bed.
“Who’s James?” Her hand is on the doorknob, her back to me.
“My brother. My identical twin brother. He’s here with my mom.” It feels like I’ve eaten broken glass.
Fuck. My body aches and trembles. I haven’t said his name aloud in years. His dark, always twinkling eyes invade my vision along with mom’s soft lips landing on my forehead, her Chanel scent, tucking me in making sure the blankets are tight.
The bed dips, and a warm hand grasps my frozen digits. I hang on like a sailor in a life raft in a category five hurricane.
Asia says nothing, just holds my hand.
The black box holding these memories has cracked open where it has been under lock and key, hiding out in another universe.
“When we were seven, my parents, James, and I were here.” My throat dries, and Asia hands me her glass of water, which I gulp down. Watermelon lip gloss clings to my mouth. I look around the room, not seeing it as it is now, but instead see our old room. His side all things Tolkien, chessboards, and a collection of rocks. Mine, cars, engines, shields, swords, and in the middle of the room a never-ending game of Monopoly.
Asia squeezes my hand. I clear my throat. “We’d gone to a local fair where I won a compass. It was a cheap, battered thing, but I loved it. James wanted it more than anything.”
Fuck. Pain is slicing me open, and I swear I’m internally bleeding. My heart thumps painfully against my ribs. My lungs can’t pull a full breath.
“It’s okay.” Asia’s soft voice pulls at me. I wipe the sweat from my brow.
“It isn’t okay. It will never be okay.” I bite out the words harsher than I mean to because nothing has ever been the same or will ever bring them back. Instead of backing away, Asia climbs into my lap. My arms go around her. She’s a life preserver, and I’m barely clinging on.
“It was winter, the pond was frozen. James bet he could make it out to the middle of the lake in less time than it took me to countdown from fifty. If he made it back in time, the compass was his.” Asia burrows in closer. “James was the faster runner, the better everything. He was sunshine to my grumpy cloud.”
I twist Asia’s hair around my finger. It’s oddly comforting.
“I was the one who stood at the back of the room while James worked it. Everyone loved him. I idolized him. He was the better part of me. My grandmother loved me, but she adored James. I know my mom loved us equally. She’d always have a long hug for me and tell me I shone in my own way. My father used to look at him in awe like he’d invented a better, newer version of himself, and it never bothered me. As long as James and I had each other we’d be okay.” I take a shuddering breath. “I took the bet, and James started sprinting to the middle of the lake, laughing while I cheated. Fifty, forty-seven, forty-two, whatever. He made it to the middle, turned, and the triumphant look on his face turned to horror. He shouted at me, scared, so fucking scared while I froze. I couldn’t move a muscle. My mother came screaming out onto the ice, lunging for him as he went through, and Mom followed.
“His face. My face went through the ice. The terror on my mom’s face while I stood there like a statue watching it happen. My grandmother and someone, Angus, I think, were on the ice trying to reach them, but it was too late, the ice too thin. They found them the next day.”
“Oh, baby.” Asia strokes my cheeks, which are wet, which is weird.
“If I didn’t accept that stupid bet, he’d be here today, running the company, being the better human being.”
My heart has folded itself over and over until it barely beats.
“Why James and why not me? It should have been me.” My voice breaks.
“Never say that! Never think that,” Asia yells at me, her mouth tight, her eyes fierce. “You were just kids, and it was an accident, Jason, a terrible accident.” She kisses my cheeks. She’s straddling me now. Her heartbeat, strong and steady against my withered muscle. I bury my head in her hair and inhale her scent, her strength, her compassion.
Comfortable silence settles around us. I want to drown in her and never come up for air.
“Is that when you went to boarding school?”
I nod. “Three days after the accident. My grandmother thought it was for the best. Good old Dad left the day of the accident, and I haven’t seen him since. The only time he contacts me is to ask for money for a venture that will be ‘the investment of a lifetime, again’.” I shrug at her intake of breath.
The less I dwell on my deadbeat father, the better. I’d been so hopeful as a teen to think he wanted to be part of my life. Once bitten and all. But I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t sting because it does.
“Th
eir deaths were kept out of the newspapers. Money and influence have their benefits. There was a police report filed, a coroner’s report, then nothing. It was like they didn’t exist. It’s my grandmother’s way of coping. Sweep it under the rug, don’t think about it, and it will all go away.” My heart feels bruised. “Sometimes I’d wake up and expect to see his face, my face, grinning back at me, then reality crashes down as it always does. My grandmother never speaks his name, never shares his stories, never speaks about my mom. I broke her heart, and it’s never mended.”
“God, Jason, I can’t imagine. You were a little boy who’d just lost his twin and his mom, and your dad abandoned you when you needed him the most. You were shuffled off to boarding school without saying goodbye.” Asia’s cheeks are wet. I wipe the tears with my thumb.
I swat more tears flowing from her pained eyes.
She hiccups and buries her face in my neck and cries harder. Her frame shakes.
I smooth my hand up and down her back. “It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t okay. It’s a terrible situation. Everyone you’ve ever loved has left. Now, I’m no Dr. Phil, but I think you’ve been emotionally stunted since you were seven, lost your brother, your home, and your parents in one day.”
I laugh in her hair. “No, baby. I never had emotions.”
My fierce, fiery, stubborn assistant grips my shoulders hard, her eyes pools of regret, empathy, and so much tenderness. I don’t know what to do with the emotion spilling from her.
“Yes, you do.” She splays her hand across my heart. “You don’t know how to deal with them, so you deflect, pay people off, not talk about stuff you don’t want to talk about, and bury yourself in work, hoping it will all go away. Well, it doesn’t go away. It festers and gets bigger and darker.”
“Some days,” I admit, liking my assistant holding me like an octopus.
“Today, when you saw me on the ice…”
My arms flex around her. Surely she must be able to feel my racing heart. “Yeah.” I wipe sweat off my forehead. “I froze when James screamed my name. Literally froze. Couldn’t move a muscle and it’s haunted me for years, so today, when I saw you in your turquoise scarf…” I gulp oxygen.
Bound to her Fake Fiancé Boss: A Fun Sexy Feel Good Billionaire Office Romance Page 14
