He shrugged. “I suppose.”
“And if I was yours, you’d let me go?”
His eyes dropped to my lips and his brow knitted. My stomach knotted in response. I was playing a dangerous game. “Yes,” he said finally.
“Then give me your keys and trust me to get back to the house on my own.”
“How am I supposed to get back?”
“Uber?”
He looked at me for a long moment, then sighed. “I’m under orders.”
Leaning against the wall, I shook my head. Months of having my movements limited, my morals twisted, and my life turned upside down had finally gotten to me. I was sick of it. Sick of voicing my frustrations and having them stamped down. I just wanted them to let me go. I didn’t even want to run; I just wanted a little independence. Based on what Toby had told me about his stifled dreams, he should’ve been the one person to understand. Instead, he was stifling me along with the rest of them. “And you just follow those orders instead of having the balls to man up and do what’s right. That’s why you’ll never get out, Toby, despite your dreams. You don’t have any get-up-and-go. You were born to do what you’re told, born to follow everyone else.” I snapped, poking him in the chest while I used my other hand to steal his keys. I was going to do this the Cartwright way—by taking what I wanted.
He looked hurt, but in that moment, I didn’t care. I was tired of being told what I could and couldn’t do. I’d had ample opportunity to escape or discreetly call the police, and not once had I even attempted to cause trouble. I loved my husband; I wasn’t going to hurt him by sending him or his family members to jail. I needed a little credit for that.
“Just get out of my way.” Holding the keys behind my back, I placed my other hand on his chest to push past him to get to the bathroom, but I didn’t get far. He wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me back towards him, his lips crashing against mine in an intense kiss that I didn’t for a moment reciprocate.
Instead, I shoved against his chest, and the moment he released me, I slapped him. “No! I love Nate,” I hissed, registering the shocked look on his face while at the same time feeling confused because he was moving away from me rather rapidly. Then he was on the floor.
“Keep your fucking hands off my wife,” came the roar.
“Nate,” I gasped, covering my mouth in surprise. He was the last person I expected to see at this wedding.
“What’s going on?” a male guest demanded as Nate picked up his brother by the scruff of his neck.
“Stay the fuck out of this,” Nate growled, dragging Toby towards the exit like a rag doll.
Freaking out, I raced behind them, pausing for a moment to address the shocked wedding party. “I’m so sorry. I’ll refund your money. I… I’m sorry. Please don’t call the police. We’ll go.”
Then I ran through the door and into the parking lot just in time to hear Nate roar and punch Toby in the jaw. “No!” I yelled, running to stop them but getting held fast by a set of arms going around my waist and lifting me kicking off the ground. “Let go!”
“Best to let brothers fight these things out,” Sam said as he set me back on the ground. I snatched myself away from him. “He’s not going to do too much damage,” he added, just as Nate let Toby get to his feet before pummelling him to the ground once again.
“Oh God, I feel sick. I can’t look.” I turned away.
“You should. That man’s fighting for you.”
“I don’t want this.”
“Ah.” He shrugged it off. “This was always going to happen. Tobes has had a boner for you since he saw you while doing recon on Leesh.”
“Toby was watching me?”
“He was watching your friend.”
“That friend is your wife,” I added before he could go on.
“And she’s a fantastic one. I worship her tight little—”
“Please stop,” I said quickly, holding up my hand to shield my eyes from the words about to come from his mouth.
He grinned. “I was going to say arse, but yeah, that’s tight too.”
“Oh my God.” I placed my fingers in my ears and closed my eyes. Everywhere I turned, there was either a fight going on or a man talking TMI about my friend.
Sam laughed. “Anyway, during that time, it seemed that maybe you’d be the better mark, but Toby forbade it. Then Nate went for you anyway. Toby has been furious ever since.”
“He thinks Nate cut his grass.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t. None of us knew Toby had a thing for you. He keeps all that shit to himself.”
So, he didn’t want me dead. He just wanted… me. I didn’t know what thought was more unsettling. These men had known us before we’d known them. They’d assessed our worth and viewed us as a business transaction, until feelings got in the way—until I got in the way. Now two brothers who would die to protect each other were fighting over me. I hated that, but at the same time, it was kinda hot. I wasn’t used to any man clamouring after me, but now two hot-as-hell brothers were going at it and I’d be lying if it didn’t inflate my ego a little. Did that make me a bad person?
“You had no right!” Toby yelled.
“She is my wife. Mine,” Nate spat back. “I trusted you to take care of her.”
“You did it to be spiteful and you know it.”
“No, brother, I don’t know it. You never said. I had no fucking clue.”
“Why do you think I didn’t want her as the mark? I fucking wanted her for myself!”
“How was I to know that?”
“It was implied!”
Nate stepped back, hands on his hips as his head shifted side to side. “I saw her. I wanted her. I took her. Now I love her. She loves me. I can’t change that. It’s something you need to accept.”
I stood beside Sam, my hand pressed against my chest as I listened to the exchange. I was angry with Toby for kissing me, but I felt awful that he’d been made to stand by and watch while Nate’s and my relationship blossomed. That must’ve been hard on him.
“You always win, don’t you?” Toby spat. “I wonder if she’ll still be devoted to you if she finds out the truth.”
I spun around to face Sam. “What truth?”
“He’s talking shit.”
I turned back to find Nate holding the front of Toby’s shirt, speaking so close and low that I couldn’t make out what was being said. “He’s not talking shit. What is Nate hiding?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know, Holland. It’s better that way, trust me.”
Letting out my breath, I looked up at him incredulously. “How can I trust any of you when you don’t trust me?”
“Because you’re alive. Because you have two men over there willing to fight over who would better make you happy.”
“None of this makes me happy.” I gestured towards the fighting men. “I either want to know everything or I want out. I don’t want to be kept in some glorified version of a gilded cage, allowed out but only on a leash. This is bullshit.” I threw Toby’s keys at him and he caught them without flinching. I obviously wouldn’t be needing them anymore.
Sam shook his head and laughed before he draped his arm over my shoulders. “There is no getting out, Holland. This is it. Like it or… well, I don’t need to explain what happens when people try to walk—or steal a car and drive—away from this life.”
“Your mother’s old crew walked away. She told me herself.”
“How naïve are you? They didn’t just walk away. They’re all either dead, disappeared or in prison. You don’t get a retirement cake and walk away when you know shit that can get people put away.”
“But you’re family. Surely if one of you wants out, the others would understand.”
“What’s to understand? Families don’t quit on each other.”
“Duchess!” Nate roared. “We’re leaving.” He started walking, leaving a bloodied Toby sitting on the ground, shoulders slumped in defeat. My heart went out to him. Knowing it
was me who’d caused the fight made me feel sick to the stomach.
Sam gave me a light nudge. “Don’t keep your husband waiting.”
I followed Nate to his ute and got in, glancing back as Sam went to help Toby up.
“Don’t look at him,” Nate commanded.
I clipped my seatbelt without saying a word. There was so much tension in the cabin that I was afraid to make a sound. Then again, he didn’t say another word either, simply drove us back to the apartment, and fucked me until I was begging him to let me come.
When we were finally done, he pressed his forehead against mine, his chest heaving before he said, “You are mine, duchess. Mine. Don’t ever forget it.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Beast You Are
It had been almost a month since the fight. Nate had gone to great lengths to keep me separate from his family, but mostly from Toby. He’d even taken on a bigger role in the day-to-day running of their businesses so he could take a step back from the ‘jobs’ that took him away from me. For the first time in his life, he didn’t trust the members of his family, and I was the reason behind it. It made me feel like the Yoko Ono of the group.
“I don’t want you to fall out with them over me. Despite their faults, family is hard to come by. I should know.”
“You’re the one I’m devoted to, duchess.”
It didn’t matter what I said or did—he wanted to be upset with them. In a way, I was glad not to have to worry about him going out and risking his freedom to steal shit none of them needed. But there was this underlying disquiet about him, a restlessness that simmered just below the surface of his skin, causing him to pace the floors at night instead of coming to bed.
Above all else, he seemed angry. All the time.
He fucked me angry. He spoke to me in clipped tones more often than not. Every movement was aggressive, designed to keep me quiet and compliant. It was something I’d never been before, but it was how I was behaving now. His anger scared me. I’d hoped that if I gave him time to calm down, he’d return to that effervescent man I’d fallen head over heels for in the beginning, but as the days moved on, I could feel that man slipping further away from me.
I approached him one night while staying at the Bells Beach property as he sat at his desk going through a mountain of paperwork. His quiet anger had gotten too much for me, and I knew if we didn’t face what was happening, we were going to lose everything that had been good between us.
“I think we need to talk about what happened.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. Go read or something.”
“I don’t want to read. I want to talk to my husband. I want to spend time with him and laugh again. I don’t know who this angry man is in front of me.”
“I’m the same man. I’m just too busy for games right now.”
“You’ve been too busy ever since your fight with Toby. Why won’t you talk to me about it?”
“Because there’s nothing to say. He touched my wife, and he paid for it.”
“Are you angry with me too? Do you feel like I provoked him somehow?”
Finally, he stopped what he was doing and faced me. “Did you?”
I frowned, the fact that he felt the need to ask that question hurting more than I’d expected. “No. I did nothing.”
“Then what made him feel as though he had a right to touch you—kiss you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he did it because I insinuated he was weak.”
“Insinuated how?”
“I was angry with you for leaving me in his care instead of trusting me on my own. I tried to get him to hand over the keys to his car and give me some space. When he refused, I stole them and told him he’d never have what he wanted in life because he didn’t have the balls to go after it. That’s when he decided to kiss me. I guess he decided to take what he wanted instead. That’s the Cartwright way, right?”
He quietly regarded me before speaking. “Do you have feelings for him?”
“Of course not. I didn’t kiss him back. And I slapped him for his efforts. Don’t I get a little credit for that?”
He looked at me for a long moment, seeming to weigh words and actions against each other. Silence stretched out and caused static in the air. I could barely breathe through the tension in my chest. Then his eyes flashed and his expression softened, moments before he released his breath, took my hand and pulled me towards him. “I’ve been awful to you?” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“You think I’m being awful to him?”
“I think you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face. You’re punishing your whole family because you’re angry with Toby. You beat the crap out of him, so I think he got the message already.”
“Don’t be alone with him.”
“I won’t.”
“And tell me if you ever are.”
“I will.” He pulled me to him and kissed me softly. The tenderness behind it caused my heart to sigh and tears to fill my eyes. “There he is,” I whispered against his mouth. “There’s the gentle giant I love.”
His fingers speared into my hair as he pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry, duchess. I’m trying to figure all this shit out. I don’t want to lose you. And above all, I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”
“Trust me.”
His mouth sealed over mine as his hands slid down to my waist. Then he sat me on the desk and we made a slow, gentle love that was so sweet, I cried at the end.
“No tears, duchess.” He kissed my cheeks. “I’ll always take care of you. I’m sorry I’ve been such an arse. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Needing to finish some work, he assured me that he’d join me in bed shortly, but after reading for an hour, my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep alone.
The whirring sound of a machine woke me sometime later, his side of the bed still empty. Squinting at the time on my phone, it was after four in the morning. What the hell is he doing?
I shuffled out to the kitchen, half expecting to find him at the blender making a smoothie. But it was clear and still dark. The whir sounded again.
Confused, I followed the sound, noting the light streaming under the door in the library. When I pushed the door open, I found him standing there, holding on to the completed ladder while testing that it would slide along the tracks.
“Oh my God,” I gasped, my hand going to my mouth. “You finished it.”
A grin pulled up one side of his sexy mouth, and by the shine in his eyes, I could see I had my Nate back. Lord, I’d missed his happy gaze.
“Thought it was time I followed through on a promise.”
I rushed to him and threw my arms around his neck, kissing all over his face. “I love it. I love it. I love it! Thank you!” I said between kisses.
Chuckling, he wrapped his arms around my waist, then twisted until my arse was against the ladder rungs. “Want to give it a try?” he asked.
“Do I?” I slid my butt back and hooked my feet down lower, holding on while Nate slid the ladder from side to side.
“How’s that?”
“It’s perfect. I love it. I feel like a Disney princess.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a beast.”
I reached up and touched his face, running my nails over the scruff on his cheeks. “I wonder if Beast and Belle ever used the ladder in their library for something more fun than reading?”
He grinned but played along. “What could possibly be more fun than reading?”
I opened my legs wide, our hips perfectly aligned. “It’s just the right height, don’t you think?”
Sliding his hands over my smooth skin, his chest rumbled as his pants developed a noticeable bump. “I didn’t hear you beg.”
Undoing the top button of his pants, I slid my hand inside and held Goliath tightly. “Please.” He closed his eyes as my hand moved over his shaft, his cock hardening as I whispered in his ear. �
��Please, Nate. Fuck me like the beast you are.”
That was all it took.
His eyes flashed open and then his mouth was on mine, devouring me while his hands shot to my hips, tearing the seams of my underwear. At the same time, I pushed at his pants, freeing his cock and adjusting my position so I was ready to receive him. With a swift push, he was in. I gasped at the speed of his intrusion, clinging to his large arms as his hips thrust back and forth, bang, bang, bang. A beautiful violence that had me calling out, overwhelmed by the force but loving it at the same time.
“Holy fuck,” I yelled, lifting my arms above my head and gripping the shelf of the bookcase behind me. I held on for dear life, each thrust tormenting my body and my mind as we hurtled towards orgasm.
“I’m gonna come,” he growled, his mouth moving to my neck as I arched back, gasping for breath.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Nate!”
Bang. Bang.
“Oh God.”
Crack.
“Oh God!”
The moment we exploded, the ladder gave way too, sending us slamming into the bookshelf with a loud whack. Books tumbled down around us, and then the shelves dropped, sending us sliding to the floor where Nate braced himself above me, taking the brunt of debris against his back.
“Shit. Are you OK?” he asked when it seemed the avalanche of books had ceased. When one more fell and hit against the back of his head, I couldn’t help myself, bursting into a fit of giggles.
“I’m fine,” I forced through my laughter.
“You think this is funny?” He tried to sound stern, but I could hear the amusement in his tone coupled with that sparkle in his eyes.
Another book fell, hitting him in the back and I lost it, nodding because I couldn’t answer.
“Me getting hit by books is funny to you?”
By that point, I was rolling on the floor. “Yes!” Tears streamed from my eyes as I clutched my stomach, unable to stop.
“I spent all night building that ladder, you know.”
I pressed my lips together, trying my best to control the bouncing of my shoulders. “I know.” Giggle. “And it was wonderful.” Snort. “While it lasted.” Hic.
Fool Me Twice_a Cartwright Brother Romance Page 21
