He could see my torment and this made him hurt for me. I knew I liked him for good reason. His hazel eyes were near anguished because he wanted to help me and wasn’t sure how. I took in a deep breath and slowly expelled it.
“Okay. Okay. I don’t know how this works, but I can...” I licked my bottom lip. “I can read people.”
Eric’s eyebrows rose. “Like...?”
“Like I know what they’re feeling. I can see it on their faces. Everything is just laid bare and I know all their secrets. I mean I don’t know what they’re thinking, but feelings can tell you a lot, you know. And I can’t...it’s too much. I mean I don’t want to know this stuff, Eric. I can’t handle it. I can’t...I can’t...”
“Okay.” Eric cupped my face with his hands, putting an end to my stuttering drivel. “Just take a breath.”
I did as I was told.
“And another one.”
As I was expelling that breath, he gave me a gentle smile. “I need you to start at the beginning. Did this change happen last weekend?”
I nodded.
“Tell me about it.”
And I did. I spilled it all out, starting with Friday night. I even humiliated myself by mentioning Chase’s sex obsession and how he was supposed to be my first and it would have been the biggest mistake ever. And then I finished with how I just left a dead guy in an alleyway. It was such a relief to say it, to finally come clean as if I was confessing to a crime or something. I couldn’t look at Eric while I was talking. I ended up pacing from the tree trunk and back to the bench, rabbiting on about everything I’d seen over the last few days.
I had no idea what he was feeling as I spoke, but the fact that he remained in his seat was a good sign.
“And now I’m here and I want to run away and not face this, but then I thought of you...” I finally looked at him.
He was pleased. He was stoked I’d said that and that just made me blush. I rubbed my cheek and began playing with the ring on my finger as his pleasure morphed to a frown. He licked the corner of his mouth, obviously trying to decide what to do with this information. It freaked him out a little and so it should. I mean I got an electric shock from a homeless guy and can now read people’s emotions!
I wanted to turn away, tell Eric to forget I’d said anything, but I couldn’t. And the main reason I couldn’t was because he believed what I was saying. There was no scoffing, no scuttling away from me in terror, just a quiet, calm acceptance.
What was up with that?
Maybe I wasn’t the only non-normal person around here.
“You believe me.”
He glanced up from his fidgeting hands. “Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Because, it’s weird. Stuff like this doesn’t happen in real life.”
“Sorry to break it to you, Caity, but this is real life.”
“No it’s not.” I shook my head.
His smile was tender. “You hear about supernatural stuff happening all the time. It’s not like you’ve grown a second head or can suddenly fly or shoot webs from your hands. You’re just seeing things differently.”
I gave in with a sigh.
“Explain to me how it works. You look at people and you see everything they’re feeling?” He shifted in his seat. I guess it was starting to dawn on Eric that I could do that with him as well. I looked to the ground, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.
“It’s like layers fall from their face. The homeless guy described it as masks. People hide behind a mask and I can pull it away without them realizing it. If I can look into their eyes it happens much faster. I glimpse them normally and then everything changes, all their real emotions start to show.”
“And that’s what’s freaking you out? You can’t handle the onslaught of what you’re seeing.”
I nodded. That was exactly it, and the fact that people I thought I knew were not at all who they appeared to be. My heart did this painful hiccup and I pressed my hand to my chest.
Eric placed his elbows on his knees and loosely threaded his fingers together. He tapped his thumb against his knuckle as he thought, no doubt trying to figure out a way to help me.
“Well.” He pursed his lips. “I don’t want you to go to Wyoming and I don’t think your parents would be overly excited about that either. So that plan is now off the table.”
I chuckled. “So what do I do?”
Sitting back, he stretched his arms across the seat and thought for a minute. “I know you’re having a hard time and rightfully so. But you’ve got to come back to what that guy said. He chose you for a reason.”
I sighed.
He held up his hands. “Hey, I’m not saying you have to embrace it. You’re obviously not ready and that’s cool, but running’s not going to help you either. You’re going to have to learn how to process everything you can see.”
“You mean like, control my...”
“Power. Yes.”
“It’s so not a power.”
“Are you kidding me? It’s like a super power.”
“How can you say that? This is like the world's worst hex.”
He grinned. “Just wait ’til you can control it. You’ll be like Mind Girl.”
“That’s...” I wrinkled my nose. “That’s really lame.”
“Yeah, yeah I know. I’ll keep working on it.” He winked.
I blushed. “You just told me it wasn’t that weird. Giving me a superhero name is so not helping.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. No more superhero names."
I crossed my arms and sighed, "Thank you."
His grin was adorably boyish as he slapped his knees and stood tall. “Alright little lady, come with me. Let’s go work on your mind control.”
I took his hand and followed him out of our quiet grove. The human population came back into view and my immediate response was to grimace and look toward the grass.
“Caity, you’ve got to face this.” Eric tugged my hand. “Now, look at that couple over there. Tell me what you see.”
I followed his pointing finger and took in the guy about ten yards away. He was good-looking and knew it. His smile was near blinding as he chatted to a perky blonde who didn’t know how to stand still. She kept bouncing on her toes as she talked.
Taking a breath, I studied their faces. “He’s into her.”
“Obviously.”
“But he doesn’t want to be. I mean he does, but he feels guilty, like he shouldn’t be flirting. They’re not a couple. He’s hitting on her, because she talked to him first. She’s totally into him. Like stalker into him. She’s...” I paused.
“What?”
“She’s scared he’s going to reject her and she doesn’t know if she can handle it. She’s doing everything she can to impress him. I don’t know why, it’s almost warped, like maybe he reminds her of someone or she’s trying to make up for something.”
I looked back at the guy and felt angry as I watched him touch her cheek. His eyes were filled with that hungry lust Stella studied Eric with. I squeezed Eric’s hand and made a move to turn away.
“Wait.” He pulled me back around. “Keep looking at them.”
“I don’t want to.” I frowned. “Why’s he feeling guilty? He’s probably got a girlfriend already, one he cares about...sort of. With this girl, he’s after one thing and she’s after everything. She’s gonna end up hurt. It just makes me sad...and annoyed.”
“I know.” His sincere look was so sweet I didn’t want to pull my eyes away from it. “But keep looking at them. I want you to try something.”
I turned back with a huff. “What?”
“Put the layers back on.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the longer you looked at them, the more you saw, so just put back what you saw.”
I’d never thought about it that way. I guess I'd kind of done it accidentally a few times when the power first hit me. One big blink had seemed to reset my vision. I closed my eyes and tried to picture them th
e way I originally saw them and opened my eyes, but no luck. The masks slipped away in a nano-second and I was back seeing open emotions that hurt to look at.
“I can’t do it. I can't hold onto the image. Tell me what you see right now.”
“I see a guy flirting with a girl who obviously likes him.”
I closed my eyes again and tried to empty my brain of anything I'd already seen. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and gazed at the couple, willing the snapshot to hold.
“I see it.” I grinned, but it didn’t last long. The layers started falling away and I was once again back to guilt and desperation. “I’m losing it.”
“Don’t.” Eric squeezed my hand. “Hold on to it. Put the layers back on, but don't close your eyes this time. Try to do it while you're looking at them.”
Squinting my eyes, I ordered my brain to see what I'd first captured. Painfully slowly the guilty expression morphed to one of carefree flirting and the girl’s desperation eventually ebbed back to pleasure.
“How’s it going? Is it working?”
“Yeah, yeah I guess so. I’m trying to work backwards. It's really hard, but I think I can see what you're seeing now.”
“Excellent.” Eric spun to face me. “So if you can do that, then you just need to focus on what you see first...before that mask slips off. I know you only get a second to take it in, but if you can practice holding on to what you see in that second, then you can put that back on and not be swamped by all these emotions and secrets. Do you think you can do that?”
I nodded, feeling calm for the first time in days. A smile crept over my lips and I nodded again.
Eric's solemn gaze made my smile slip a fraction.
"Caity, I'm not helping you so that you can ignore this amazing talent." He squeezed my shoulder. "I just want to give you a strategy that will stop you from bolting to Wyoming. You're gonna have to face this at some point."
"I know." I nodded, not wanting to hear it right now, but knowing that he was right, and he would want me to agree.
His gorgeous eyes studied me for a beat too long before he was finally satisfied. My steady gaze must have put him at ease, because he eventually grinned. “Okay, cool, let’s go practice on someone else then.”
Chapter 10
Eric pulled me around campus for the next hour, working my brain and eyes until they were aching. By six o’clock, I’d managed to read and unread eight more people. I saw nothing sinister, just little secrets, and it was refreshing to find that at least one of those eight had nothing to hide. It gave me hope in humanity, if only for a moment.
As a thank you, I took Eric out to dinner. He wasn’t happy at all about me paying, but I could be stubborn when I wanted to be. He then told me the only place he wanted to eat was In-N-Out Burger. I thought that was a lie and he was just trying to save me spending too much on him, but he was telling the truth. So we sat at In-N-Out Burger dining on fries animal style and juicy, beef burgers.
I slurped up the last of my vanilla shake, making a ridiculous noise. Biting my lips together, I pushed the cup away from me, willing my cheeks not to turn red yet again.
Eric grinned. “So, you feeling better?” He wiped his hands on a napkin and balled it up.
“Definitely. Thank you.”
He shook his head. “You can really stop saying that now. I think you’re up to about forty thank yous. It’s getting kind of old.”
My nose wrinkled and I rubbed a hand over my face. He just laughed at me, but when I looked up, his smile was missing. His serious expression made me swallow.
Dropping the balled up napkin, he reached for me, drawing soft patterns over the back of my hand with his forefinger. “Caity, can you promise me something?”
“Sure.” With that voice, I’d promise him anything.
“Now that you know how to control it, don’t read me.”
My insides clenched. This was why I didn’t want to tell people. They wouldn’t be themselves around me if they knew... I went to pull my hand away, but he grabbed it before I could.
“I’ll always tell you the truth, I promise. So don’t read me, okay? I want us to be ourselves around each other and if I think you might be reading me then I know I'm gonna act weird. I feel privileged that you've told me this stuff and I don't want you to ever worry that I'll hide anything from you, so you don't have to worry about reading me. Does that make sense?" His warm, hazel eyes flickered with bashful concern and I had to nod.
"It might still happen without me meaning to, but I'll trust you, Eric. I promise."
He met my shaky smile with a beaming one of his own. I didn’t even have to read him right now. What he was showing me was pure honesty and my insides buzzed with that euphoric giddiness I always got when I was around him. Except now, it was running on overdrive.
*****
I practically floated to school the next morning. Eric and I had parted ways shortly after dinner. He hadn’t kissed me goodbye or anything (like he even would!), but he’d hugged me tight and told me to keep him posted. He even took my phone and programmed his number in. It would remain to be seen if I’d ever have the guts to call him. I’d respond in a heartbeat, but to actually initiate? Scary!
I took my time walking to my locker. This time I kept my head up and took in those around me. It was an effort, but I held on to those first glimpses and managed to resist the layers from falling away. It helped that most of the people I chatted to were friends so I remembered what they looked like normally. I knew I’d still have the occasional slip-up and spot stuff I didn’t want to see, but I felt like the more I practiced, the more I could do it.
It was a triumphant feeling and I would be eternally grateful to Eric.
Eric.
Le sigh.
“What are you smiling about?” Stella’s voice was sharp. I could see what sounded like annoyance was actually hurt and I had to quickly work to put her normal face back together. “Caitlyn? What is your problem?”
Okay, so I obviously needed to work on my concentrating face. I shook my head and smiled. “Nothing. I’m good.” I squeezed her arm and looked her in the eye. “I’m really good. Sorry for being so weird the last couple of days, I’ve just been struggling with this headache.”
“Still? Have you seen a doctor?”
I hesitated, then grinned. “I saw one after school yesterday...and I’m already starting to feel better.”
“Good.” Stella looked exasperated. “Because I was getting really over you.”
“Thanks.” My droll look elicited a cheeky giggle from Stella and she threaded her arm through mine and hauled me to U.S. History. That was our favorite subject together. Mr. Winright was such a boring and unobservant teacher, we ended up passing notes and fooling around most of the time. It was fun.
The day progressed easily. I kept practicing and it did get easier. I couldn’t block out everything, but I knew eventually I could. The cafeteria at lunch got a bit too much for me, so I left early making up an excuse about needing to finish up some homework. I got a bunch of weird and disbelieving looks, but I didn’t care. I needed a breather. And in all honesty, I could use a little extra study time. Work was piling up. With SATs less than three months away, the pressure was on. I still had some big assignments ahead of me too. I couldn’t afford to slack off.
No one else in my group seemed overly fazed. I was either a dumbass or a super slow worker.
Probably a combination of both, dumbass. I snickered at my self-deprecating joke, knowing it wasn’t true. I wasn’t the smartest kid at school, but I knew I’d do okay, especially if I didn’t slack off. I cringed when I thought of how little Stella was doing. Surely she’d start to freak about her grades soon. I’d no doubt get sucked into a last minute study-fest, cramming for SATs until the early hours of the morning.
The corridor was pretty empty as I walked to my locker. It was a pleasant relief. I nearly made it all the way there without a single interaction, but then I heard Libby’s sweet titter a
nd I couldn’t help looking. I peered down the adjacent corridor and spotted her leaning against her locker. Her face was practically shining and it wasn’t hard to figure out why.
Carter Hanson was leaning over her with a charming smile.
Really?
What the hell was Carter doing chatting up Libby? Not to be mean about Libby, but she was hardly in his league. I couldn’t help myself, I ducked around the corner and played spy.
“So I was thinking, maybe you could join me.” Carter ran his finger down Libby’s cheek. Her body was quivering as she gazed at him with a nervous smile.
The layers fell away before I could stop them. I was too intrigued to fight it...and the intrigue quickly morphed to concern.
Carter’s gaze wasn’t leering; if anything, he actually looked a little reluctant to be doing what he was doing. It wasn’t until the reluctance fell away that I noticed the malicious gaze beneath it. What was he up to?
“Liam’s parties are always the best and he’s having it at Indie’s place, which is, you know, a mansion. We’ll have a great time.”
“I’d love to come.”
My insides hitched as I studied Libby’s face. She was ecstatic that Carter was even talking to her, let alone inviting her to a party. Part of her couldn’t believe it was true, but it was being overridden by her desperate need for acceptance. Her slight fear was shunted aside by a dreamlike euphoria.
I got it. I mean Carter was hot. Liam’s parties were amazing, if not a little overwhelming, and Libby had never been invited to anything like this before. She always tried to tag along, but I’d never seen her at a Liam Donovan party. Whether she chickened out at the last minute or was turned away at the door, I didn’t know. Judging from the current look on her face, she’d be chickening out over her dead body. With Carter taking her rather than showing up on her own, it would be a given.
The question was, why was Carter taking her? What did he really want?
The black gleam in his eyes scared me. He was up to something, and although Libby and I weren’t super-close, there was no way I wanted to see her get hurt. She was a sweetie and didn’t deserve whatever Carter and his friends had planned. I knew him well enough to know he wasn’t working alone.
True Colors (book #1, The Masks Series) Page 7
