She shrugged, then smiled. I was relieved to see her teeth were the same, natural, white as honeysuckle flowers, not blackened.
My life could be worse. At least I was not with the butchering and leather, and Tashiko was here. I would be able to talk to people. I could talk to people during the day. I would not have to wait until I saw Chiba. I would not see Chiba!
‘Kozaishō, little princess, I prayed we would be together.’ She had grown taller, prettier than I remembered. ‘My little house is only three west of yours.’
The sound of her breathy voice sang into my bones, my eyes splashed, the floor rolled beneath me as if in an earthquake. She swept me into her arms, bracing me before I fell. Her warm breasts crushed against me. I drew in the woody scent of her hair, swirled my fingers through its softness, soothed by her voice, calmed by her breathing.
A scream flew like an arrow through the walls and impaled its sharp point into me. I pulled back from Tashiko, trembling, quivering, gulping. The wailing continued, as if demons danced nearby. I dashed to the door and pulled back the curtain, but saw nothing.
Returning to the futon, Tashiko’s eyes had turned downwards. ‘As at the shōen, it is important to follow directions and orders.’
Another scream, this one higher, harsher, sending cold prickles down my legs, making my teeth sting. I held on to Tashiko, and she to me.
‘What is this? I am thrown from one demon to a fiercer one? What is this place?’
‘While Madam Hitomi does not leave marks like Proprietor Chiba, she is able to attain unthinkable pain and . . . more.’
‘What hell am I in?’
She motioned for me to sit. We both did. ‘This is a Village of Outcasts, owned by Madam Hitomi. Rich. Owns the tannery. The untouchables, the eta, their shacks and the tannery are far from here. Also owns many Women-for-Play, including me. Rin is the chōja of the free Women-for-Play, but she advises Madam Hitomi.’
‘Advises?’
‘Meddles with . . . all.’ Tashiko raised one hand above her shoulder and her lips lifted.
‘How can you be content? Everything here is defiled!’
‘Not all. Some Women-for-Play.’
I blinked at her, wary of this and the new her.
‘The Women-for-Play sing and often dance. Some are skilled in other things, like musical instruments, or the biwa or pleasuring. That is what I aspire to.’
‘Pleasuring?’
‘Here, you learn about physical gratification.’
‘What is that?’
‘What men and women do together. Coupling.’
I wanted to pull her hair, but a breeze brought the smell of tanning animal skins. ‘Tashiko, in this village of the unclean, there cannot be any honour.’
‘No, Kozaishō. It is always honourable to serve as your master wishes.’
I sat up, ‘Have you been talking to Akio?’ That was what he had said to me on our travels from Chiba’s shōen to this place.
‘No. He serves Proprietor Chiba.’
‘That is what he always says. How can that be true?’
‘Obedience is honourable.’
‘Here in this place? Never.’
‘You do not understand, Kozaishō. Each level is honourable.’
‘Level?’
‘Four levels. First laundry, next cleaning, then attending to the Women-for-Play. That is what I do.’
‘You are third level. The fourth is . . .?’
‘Being a Woman-for-Play.’
‘Is that the most honourable?’
Her eyes said yes.
‘I do not understand, but I am glad to be with you.’ I stroked her hair, her downy chestnut hair. ‘See.’ I stroked my own thick mane. ‘My hair has grown too.’
That first night passed, short and long at the same time, as if two ends of a candle burned together. Tashiko held me and talked to me.
Later she slept in my arms. I, unused to the pathetic howls, did not, picturing or dreaming cunning devils or evil spirits.
The next night Tashiko slept beside me on the futon. And the next. It was only a matter of days before Tashiko exchanged huts to be beside mine.
Was this the surprise Akio arranged for me? Here in this nether world, complete with another Proprietor Chiba, but one who did not leave scars, I needed a good surprise to help me sleep through the screams.
Madam Hitomi directed her girls as cautiously as my mother managed our winter food. New girls stayed away from the Special Houses, as distant as the earth from the sun. The distance worked to my advantage: I had thought about slipping away with Tashiko. Madam Hitomi assigned small duties on those first days, under close supervision, perhaps afraid that I would run.
I planned to escape, I wanted to, but my father had sold me to Chiba, and I had belonged to him. He could do with me whatever he wished. So that I did not think about leaving, I recalled my father’s words, ‘All our souls belong to our family’s honour’, and reminded myself of Akio’s story, ‘Honourable Hiroshi’.
My life needed to bring honour to my family. Running away would be dishonourable, unthinkable, even from this Village of Outcasts with its tannery and hovels of the untouchables, those disgusting eta. Each time the tainted odours of dead animals and excrement arrived on a breeze, I had to remind myself again about my family honour.
My only satisfaction lay in being with Tashiko, and the only honourable path lay in obeying a new master, no matter how much I came to detest her.
As a new girl I cared for the laundry. First level, the lowest. Going out to the sheds my first day at the Hour of the Dragon well after dawn, I saw him – strutting from the shed – Akio, my Akio, dressed for the hunt. I made a quick bow, not to show the disbelief on my face. What was he doing here?
He came towards me. ‘Kozaishō.’ His arms flew up to the sky, as did the corners of his eyes and mouth. ‘I am your surprise.’
‘I thought Tashiko was my surprise. How . . . When?’ My head floated off my neck, and my eyes saw nothing but Akio’s face, all else a thick mist. ‘Does Proprietor Chiba know?’
‘Naturally. I had his knowledge and the permission of Taira no Michimori, the Echizen governor.’
‘Who is that? Why do you need a governor’s permission?’ I had heard that name before. I searched my memory.
‘Proprietor Chiba was not my master. The Echizen governor was.’
‘Was?’
‘I belong to Madam Hitomi now. You and I were both sold.’
‘Why you?’ He was samurai. He could not be sold. Could he?
‘I spoke rashly to Proprietor Chiba and taught you. He dismissed me so I came here.’ One shoulder twitched. ‘It was because of you,’ he continued. ‘Proprietor Chiba had brought yet another young girl to the shōen.’
‘You had to move away from your family because of me?’ Not only had I dishonoured myself, I had hurt Akio. My cheeks warmed. Tears came to my eyes at the disgrace.
‘No. No shame,’ he continued. ‘I am glad to be here. My family is already here.’
‘You are not? They are?’ My stance changed, like a bush in a drought after the first rain.
‘Especially my girls. They are quite young and I was afraid for them.’ His eyebrows pinched together.
‘I understand, Akio,’ I said, but I did not understand.
‘Proprietor Chiba brought yet another young girl to the shōen, to Lesser House. I could not stand silent any longer.’
‘I regret your outspokenness has brought you to such a place.’
‘I do not, Kozaishō. This Village is safer for my daughters.’
‘How?’
‘Daigoro no Goro does not visit here unsupervised. Here he cannot do . . . what he tried to do with you.’ His face tightened, and he tapped the sheath of his sword.
My mouth opened.
Akio sighed. ‘These low-caste people,’ he gestured first to the little houses and next to where the untouchables lived, ‘recognise my family’s higher status and would never touch one o
f my children.’
‘You are happy to be here?’
‘Happiness is difficult to find. Remember, lack of want brings contentment. I am content to be here.’
‘What will you do?’
‘I offer security.’ He touched his sword, and his eyes shone in the morning sun. ‘I will not have to worry about my girls. Here, they will not have to endure what you and . . .’ His face turned to stone, and his hands to fists. He placed a palm on each of my shoulders and tightened his fingers into my back. ‘Your presence here brightens my day and my life.’
We stood in silence, thinking of the past. Finally I said, ‘My only wish is to continue with the Way of the Bow.’
‘I am delighted, little one.’ He touched my cheek and stroked my hair. Studying my face, he chuckled.
I smiled.
His eyes sparkled. ‘My wife and three girls are here. You will meet them soon, I expect.’
‘What happiness, contentment, you give me in being here.’ I looked around and saw no one. I moved to give him a quick hug.
He pulled back. ‘No, little one. Not any more.’
‘Why not? No one is looking.’
‘Because it is not suitable.’
‘Why?’
‘This is a different place.’ He sighed. ‘I see you have retained your questioning tactics.’ He pretended a grimace. ‘We both belong to Madam Hitomi now. At the shōen Proprietor Chiba owned you, but the Echizen governor owned me and the shōen. We are changed because our stations have changed.’
I was no different. Was he?
He reached down to ruffle the hair on top of my head. ‘This, however, is allowed.’
At his touch, the stiffness that had grasped my chest loosened. A smile travelled from one side of his broad face to the other, a long distance. I breathed again, with comfort.
‘Do you wish to continue your studies with me?’ His eyebrows travelled up his forehead.
I thought for a moment and used formal language. ‘First I must ask permission from Madam Hitomi. If she agrees, I will be with you whenever it suits her and you.’
He squatted so we were face to face. His horse, steel and sweat smells uplifted me, relaxing me with their familiarity.
‘Spoken well.’ His voice sounded sweeter than before, and he tousled my hair again. ‘Loyalty is first. You carry the Way with you. I am proud of you, my beautiful Fifth Daughter. Allow me to ask. I will let you know what Madam Hitomi says.’
On the way to the laundry I remembered how, at first, I was not sure I could find any honour in this impure place. Now, with Akio, I might.
II. Work
Strengthened with possibilities, I met Aya, my work companion, in the shed by the stream. She looked and seemed younger than I, especially in her reasoning. She was like Emi, but slower.
‘How long have you been here?’ I asked, wondering if anyone ever left.
‘Many months.’
Another eternity to me, but I smiled back because she looked so pleased with herself. She had lived near Wakasa, a large city; her father and brothers had fished.
‘What was it like?’
To remember, she closed her eyes and spoke with difficulty. ‘I liked the blue sea with white dots. I liked the crunchy sand.’ She grinned. Her missing front teeth made her adorable, especially when she kept her crossed eyes closed. ‘I did not like the sand fleas biting me.’ She grimaced and slapped her legs, as if she had just been bitten.
Her face showed every emotion. When I said, ‘Faster!’ tears came to her eyes, and her work slowed, so I stopped saying that and worked at her pace.
Fortunately, there were several who took kimono panels apart, several who sewed them together, and a few who flattened them. Aya and I were to scrub, rinse and dry the panels. This task needed two people, and the only two people were she and I. I had to rely on her to teach me what to do so the first day’s work was incomplete.
On the second morning Akio saw me as I went into the shed. He looked around, but I shook my head. Leading me to a dark corner, he squatted and said, ‘Madam Hitomi did not give us permission.’
‘What?’ His words seemed to strangle me. Even with his hands on my shoulders, I felt as though I was falling.
‘You have gone pale, Kozaishō.’
‘The Gods are more important than Madam Hitomi.’ They were, but the Gods’ punishments usually did not make people scream in the night.
‘This is risking much,’ he said, ‘but your white pheasant and dragon cloud are truly powerful. Are you willing to take such danger? Think carefully.’
‘Yes,’ I said, hearing screams, my heart drumming. ‘Yes, I am.’ I did not tell him about the Goddess of Mercy in my special dream.
Akio and I worked out the times and places where we would be hidden. Several nights for the bow, next the naginata, the horse, the bokken, a combination, and then repeat. Some nights he planned to bring his eldest daughter, a beginner, and much younger than I.
The second day was like the first in the laundry. On the third morning, while I was carrying water, Madam Hitomi came. ‘Finish all the clothing and do it well. Today is your third day,’ she snarled like one of her angry cats, but with her black teeth.
Why did she not warn Aya as well?
On the fourth evening she grabbed me and marched me to a little house behind Main House, the direction from which Tashiko and I had heard screams. Hitomi would look good with her whitened face hit, broken and bleeding. I saw my bokken, remembering the sting in my arm as it had crashed into Goro’s nose. Where else could they send me? To the eta? At the thought my body throbbed and trembled.
Sweat ran down my spine and dripped off the back of my legs, despite the raw breeze through the camphor trees. My feet slipped on the slick mat of soggy, icy leaves. Hitomi pulled me into that little house. My family’s honour. What could I do to uphold it?
Whips and metal objects hung on the wall, like a ferocious animal’s fangs. The only other objects were a stool, a small brazier, with waves of heat showing in the cool air, and a plain table with many attached leather strips.
‘Put all your clothes on this cloth.’ She pointed to a corner. ‘Lie on the table, on your back.’
The frigid evening gusts pushed through the walls. I thought about my bokken again, inside my furoshiki.
Lying on the cold table, which was too short even for me, my arms and legs swung down and the edges cut into my skin. I wondered if she was going to examine me as she had before. It would be difficult to pretend to be a frog in this position. She might have said this was a family, but I hated her more than I had ever hated Fourth Daughter.
‘Tashiko has learned obedience.’ She grinned with her red-rimmed black teeth.
I raised my eyes to the ceiling to calm myself, but the ropes and pulleys I saw slung above made me breathe faster. By the time I returned my eyes to Hitomi, she had tied an arm and one leg to the table legs with the strips. I had thought to admire her managing skills. That was my mistake.
‘Oh, yes. I know about the priest, Daigoro no Goro.’ She stood upright and stretched, then finished tying my other leg. She sucked in her breath, almost hissing as he had done. ‘Proprietor Chiba sent me a letter.’
My limbs quivered at these names.
‘Tonight is the consequence of not accomplishing your tasks. Do you understand? You may have fought before, but any rebellious actions here will mean severe punishments for you and others.’
‘Yes, honourable Madam Hitomi,’ I managed to stammer. My words made white smoke above me. My teeth clicked in the cold until I pressed them together, hard.
‘Good. Today will help to remind you.’
She pulled down a metal prod from the wall and brought it close to my face. It had a wooden handle at one end and an arrow-like tip at the other. She turned to the brazier and shoved the tip into it.
‘You must complete all the work each day.’ She left the brazier to lean over me again. ‘Yes,’ she said, as she sniffed the air. ‘My l
ittle reminder is ready.’
I smelt it, too. The scent of metal burning, smouldering. I shivered with dread and cold.
The prod’s end glowed in the murky room. The bright point followed my features. The heat, with my eyes shut, was both pleasant and paralysing. I pretended I was in combat and she the enemy. She was. I breathed through my nose and willed my eyes open. I also willed myself not to flinch.
She moved the prod down from my face. Lifting one of my hands, she moved it closer until it almost touched the lower edge of my little finger’s nail. Warmer, hot, scorching. Piercing pain raced through my hand, arm and up to my head until my eyeballs felt as if they would burst. I opened my mouth and closed it, biting my tongue, tasting hot iron, swallowing blood.
The prod went back to my face. Hitomi’s eyes glinted in its red light. I prayed she would not require me to speak. I had almost bitten through my tongue, gulping and swallowing more blood. If she went again, I needed another target.
She did. Same hand. Same nail. I bit the inside of my cheek until a piece of it hung in my mouth. Raw, squeezing, stabbing pain boiled every part of my body.
But I made no sound.
‘Dress. Finish all your work tomorrow.’ She united my arms and left.
This fiend was worse than Chiba and Goro together. Not carry my bokken? Not be ready to hit back? Or run? Or all three? At that moment I was ready to kill.
That night I prayed to the Goddess of Mercy because the work seemed impossible. The next morning I did as the Goddess had shown me in a special dream.
I made sure that Aya and I carried the water to the big kettles before our morning meal, quite early. I made our rice into balls to carry with us throughout the day as we worked. While I was scrubbing, I told the story of the Greedy Hawk, but only a little at a time.
‘Long ago and far away, the largest of the birds, the eagle, became caught in the fork of a tree.’
Aya’s crossed eyes grew wider as her mouth opened in awe.
‘He worked and worked, but could not free himself. Other birds came and pulled on him to help. They pulled on his feathers. One by one, all his feathers came out until he was completely bare.’
The Pillow Book of the Flower Samurai Page 10
