by Rachel Jonas
“What are you doing here?”
Ignoring my question, my mother’s lips began to move at lightspeed. “Don’t do this,” she whispered frantically. Only she and I could hear her desperate pleas. “They’re only letting you go because they want you dead anyway, Nick. First chance you get,” she stammered through tears, “you run.”
At those words, I glanced up to where Evie stood a few feet away, waiting as seconds ticked past, seconds I imagined to be agonizing as the life of the one she cared about hung in the balance. The goodness within her was impossible to miss, and … I couldn’t let that burn out. And losing him, Liam, would do just that.
My mother’s complexion paled even more when I slowly moved her hands away, taking a step back.
“Mom, I have to do this. I can’t turn my back on her,” I whispered in response, hoping she understood. “Evie looked out for me when she didn’t have to, and I owe her.”
My declaration seemed to be a sobering moment for my mother, the instant she realized there was no talking me out of this. Clearing her throat, she blinked before giving one nod. I hoped she understood, but if she didn’t, it wouldn’t change anything.
“I’m doing this because you taught me to go the full distance for the people I care about,” I explained.
I’d done some questionable things of late. Things I could stand to atone for. This opportunity to right one of those wrongs was a gift, a chance to prove to Evie, the Council, myself … that I might be redeemable.
“Then I guess it’s settled.”
I didn’t miss the frustration in my mother’s tone. Didn’t miss that she both loved and hated that I’d become the kind of man who stood up for what he believed was right.
“I’ll be okay,” I promised, knowing I probably shouldn’t have, but I’d do my best to keep my word.
We embraced again, and then I waited a moment while Evie conversed with the Elder and Chancellor in private. When they finished speaking, she gestured that it was time to leave.
“They’re holding her here for a while, but she won’t be punished,” she said softly as we began our ascent of the long, spiral staircase that led to the library’s back entrance.
I frowned, unsure of what she meant. “My mother? Did she do something?”
Evie took a few agonizing seconds to respond, but when she did, I felt my stomach churn.
“This was all her doing,” she finally shared. “The Sovereign is here because of her.”
Richie said she threatened to go over the Council’s head, but …
“When they wouldn’t give her answers about where you were and why she wasn’t allowed to contact you, she took matters into her own hands. Apparently, they didn’t realize she’d already been in contact. They thought they got out ahead of the issue, but she’d already set things in motion.”
I wanted to apologize, wanted to say I was sorry for causing yet another problem, but it seemed like a moot point since the damage had already been done. The only thing to do from here was try to make it right.
“What’s the plan?” I asked, knowing we were pressed for time.
Evie sighed and I could only imagine how she was feeling right now. “Well, for starters, I have to try and get to Dallas. I need him, but Elise can’t know.”
We finally stepped into the night air and the snap of cold air was enlivening. We trekked across the parking lot without coats as snow fell. Glancing at Evie’s arms, her veins were aglow, surging with liquid fire. It was a dragon thing, I assumed. Meanwhile, I was beginning to catch a chill. Lycans ran warmer than humans, but we were only immune to it completely in our shifted form. However, I couldn’t exactly shift right here in the open, so … I had to deal with it.
Evie glanced over when I tucked my arms inside my t-shirt. She didn’t bother holding in her laugh. Reaching out, she gestured for me to give her my hand.
“I can keep you warm,” she offered.
The second my palm was against hers, heat pulsed through me. Just like that, it was as though the seasons had changed.
I smiled. “Well, that’s handy.”
She laughed again. “Yeah, this whole dragon thing has its perks.”
The brief spark of conversation died out quickly. It’d been months since we’d spoken, months since our falling out and everything that came after. I no longer had to wonder if she planned to hate me forever, but the air still needed to be cleared.
“Listen I …” The words got caught in my throat. There were so many things to apologize for, I honestly didn’t know where to start.
“Don’t,” she sighed, staring off into the distance as we made it to the woods. “We have to keep focused, and … there’s no point in rehashing the past.”
But I disagreed.
“No, I need to say this,” I countered. “If I don’t, you’ll keep thinking I’m oblivious to everything I did.” I paused again, searching for the right words. “I just need to own it all.”
And I did want that, to be free and clear of all my secrets. Not because it’d make me feel better, but because I realized how much keeping them in hurt the people I cared about most.
Starting with her.
“I was selfish,” I started. “What I did to Liam … I shouldn’t have agreed to the witch’s terms. I shouldn’t have even contacted the witch,” I corrected.
It didn’t matter that I initially summoned Scarlet out of desperation, a deeply rooted desire to rid myself of the darkness. When she asked for Liam, I wished I’d been able to see beyond my issues with him to think of how losing him would hurt Evie.
However, acknowledging that it would hurt her would’ve required me to admit that she loved him. And she did.
“If I could take it all back, I would,” I confessed.
She nodded, and I was sure she felt the sincerity.
“The part about your parents,” I went on, suddenly speechless as shame washed over me. “Evie, I … I had no idea.”
She was silent. We both were.
I’d done so much, and in the spirit of being open about everything, I shared another concern with her.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea for us to do this,” I admitted. “Going after Liam … maybe I should just go alone.”
She turned to me, a frown pulling her brow together. “Absolutely not. I’d never be able to just sit around, hoping, wondering.” She faced forward again. “I have to do this. I’m fully capable of defending myself.”
She didn’t understand.
“This isn’t about you having what it takes to go up against the Sovereign and his army,” I clarified, although that, in and of itself, was daunting. “I’m talking about me.”
She turned again, blinking, but her feet never stopped moving.
Of all the things I revealed, this was by far the most difficult. “I’m changing, Evie.”
The words tumbled out and I hated that there was so much truth in them.
“I … I lose myself sometimes, and when I come to, I can’t remember anything. I’m scared that … one day, maybe soon, I’m gonna black out, and …”
I stopped there, unable to say the words, but she knew. Her gaze lowered as we stepped through snow that came halfway up our calves.
There was once a time that, when I mentioned the likelihood of me hurting her, she’d fight me on it, tooth and nail. She thought I was completely incapable. But now … there was silence.
I imagined her opinion of me had changed quiet drastically, considering the things I’d done as the darkness grew. It stung to see the blatant effects of that, but it was understandable. I’d shown her a side of myself she didn’t know existed, and now she no longer thought of me as infallible.
“We’ll just have to hope for the best,” she decided, never even considering the idea of changing our course. If I hadn’t known before that she was in love with Liam, I would have now. Her willingness to lay it all on the line for him spoke volumes.
We didn’t speak much after that, thinking on all that
lie ahead. Bright lights burned through the windows of a large estate that rivaled my grandfather’s. I guessed this was her home now, seeing as how I made it impossible for her to return to the other.
Evie stopped and took a breath. “Okay, I have to get in there. Do you mind waiting here? I’ll snag you one of Dallas’ coats on my way back out,” she offered.
I nodded, understanding it might not go over so well if she walked me through the front door. She took a few steps toward the tall gate surrounding the property when I had a thought.
“Actually, would you mind if I take care of something before we go? I can meet you at the falls in an hour.”
Her dark eyes were set on me for several wordless seconds before it dawned on me she might think this was a ploy, a chance to run with an hour-long head start. I suppose I was responsible for her thinking that was the plan. After all, I’d built myself quite the reputation.
It took a moment, but she finally gave in. “Okay,” she nodded. “One hour.”
*****
My clothes fell from my teeth to the snow before I shifted back, hiding behind a large tree on the edge of the Chadwick’s property to slip them on. Staring at the patrol car in the driveway, I breathed deep. To get to Roz, I’d have to go through her father, and if I had to guess, he wasn’t exactly fond of me at the moment. I was the reason she ran away, the reason she stayed gone for months.
Adjusting my belt after buttoning my jeans, I walked to the door in damp clothes, knowing I looked like I’d been locked in a cell for twenty-four hours. I didn’t care though. As soon as Evie and I set foot outside that library, the only thing I wanted was to see Roz, to apologize for not having the balls to face her before my trial, for making her worry.
I knocked and then stepped back, shoving both hands in my pockets to keep them from shaking. Heavy steps approached the door, and as expected, I stared at the angry scowl of one pissed off cop.
I swallowed hard and didn’t let his demeanor scare me off.
“Good evening, Officer Chadwick.”
A sharply spoken, “What are you doing here?” was his returned greeting. He glared with suspicion, most likely aware of the outcome of my trial.
Yeah … this should be fun.
“The Council pardoned me,” I explained, blurting the words when he reached toward his hip.
For his phone … or maybe his holstered gun.
“I’m only here for Roz,” I added quickly. “Is she home?” I asked, feeling the tension between us thicken as each second passed.
“She is, and I intend to keep her here.” The chill in his tone wasn’t lost on me as we spoke through the screen.
I took a breath, wishing we hadn’t gotten off to such a terrible start, wishing he knew I’d never do anything to hurt his daughter.
“May I speak with her? Please? I promise we won’t leave the porch,” I added.
Behind him, the gentle, rhythmic thud of a second set of footsteps made my heart race. There, over his shoulder, a head of long, brown hair peeked from around the corner. Realizing it was me, those deep, soul-stirring eyes of hers stretched as wide as they could go before she bounded toward the door, toward me.
Officer Chadwick grumbled as Roz pushed past him, ignoring the reminder he shouted at her back—that she wasn’t allowed to have contact with me, that I wasn’t allowed on their property. Yes, she ignored it all, and the next second, I lifted her feet from the porch’s wood slats, locking her in an embrace.
My eyes slammed shut at the feel of her in my arms—warm, safe. I honestly never thought I’d see her again. While I sat in that cell, thoughts of her were what kept me from losing it. She was the answer to the darkness inside me. Her light burned it away and kept me from being consumed.
Quiet sobs hit my ears as I held on to her, feeling the wetness of her tears against my neck.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” she whispered, speaking my thoughts aloud. Her grip tightened and our hearts beat wildly—the center of her chest vibrating against mine.
Another heavy glare passed my way from Officer Chadwick before he slowly retreated, leaving Roz and I to speak in private. But I guessed he didn’t go far.
“How are you … how are you even here?” Roz choked out, swiping her eyes with the sleeve of a fuzzy, blue sweater when I set her down again.
“The Council released me because I’m needed for a mission.”
Roz frowned at that word. “What ‘mission’?
“The Sovereign,” I began. “He’s taken Liam and Evie needs help getting him back.”
The color drained from her rosy cheeks at the mention of the Sovereign. “You’re kidding me, right? You’re not actually considering this, are you?”
I took a breath, gathering my thoughts. “No, I’m not considering it. I’ve already made up my mind,” I amended. “I cost her a lot, and … now I have to make this right.”
“By dying?” Roz scoffed. “Because that’s how this ends. You do know that, don’t you? You’ve been given a second chance and you’re wasting it. This is when you run, Nick,” she rambled.
“I’m not gonna run.” When I smirked, it nearly made smoke come out her ears.
“Are you seriously smiling right now? Are you insane?” she hissed.
I shook my head and an answer to that question slipped out before I could stop it, before I could rationalize how this was the absolute worst time to be so forthright.
Or maybe it was perfect.
“No, I’m not insane … But I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to make it back,” I assured her. “Because I want to make it back to you.”
For the first time ever, Rozalind Chadwick was completely silent.
I stepped closer and pressed my palms to her cheeks, holding her focus. “You’re right about one thing; this is my second chance,” I added, agreeing with her. “And I won’t waste another minute of it being afraid to show you how I feel.”
I’d never been more brave or bold than I was right then and there. Maybe it was because so many near-death experiences in a row had taught me how precious time was and not to waste it. But I liked to think it was just that, for quite some time now, I’d been sure of how important she was to me.
We’d gone from being friends out of necessity, to actual friends, and now … we were something more. My mind drifted back to everything that’d taken place the last several months, and it was so clear; she’d been right with me through it all. Even at times when that couldn’t have been easy, times when I didn’t make that easy, she was there at every turn.
A sudden rush of awareness filled Roz’s expression and I guessed it just hit her that I’d bared my soul. With her large, brown eyes fixed on me, I decided not to think so much for once and just … did.
I kissed her.
It didn’t take me long to realize I needed it—the closeness, the reassurance. Fear kept me from giving in to my feelings for her as they grew into something more these last couple months. Before this, I’d been so concerned with ruining our friendship or hurting her, but … as her hands made their way to my waist, I was positive we weren’t making a mistake.
Roz wasn’t like most girls; she didn’t scare easily. And considering the current state of my life, her strength was something I craved. I’d spent quite a bit of time focused on other things, other people, but all this time, what was good for me had been right in front of my face.
The kiss slowed, but I kept her close.
“Took you long enough,” she whispered, smiling against my lips.
I breathed her in. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to my senses sooner.”
She leaned away, keeping her eyes trained on mine as I watched a range of emotion pass through them.
“I’d tell you I’m coming with you, but I know you’d never let me … and my dad would probably send out a search team to drag me back, kicking and screaming,” she added with an eye roll.
A laugh left my lungs, puffing a cloud into the frigid air. “I’m glad you k
now not to suggest it.”
She grinned again and moved her hands to my back. “You better come back to me, Nicholas Stokes. If you die, I’ll kill you.”
With a laugh, I pressed another kiss to her lips and felt more determined than ever to do just that.
“You have my word.”
—Chapter Seventeen—
Evie
Beside me, Dallas checked his watch for about the tenth time in the last sixty-seconds.
“He’ll show,” I assured him, doing all I could to believe it myself.
Maybe I’d been naïve to think Nick would come back. I was asking a lot of him, asking him to put himself in harm’s way for someone he once hated.
Or still did for all I knew.
The roar of the falls was usually calming, but right now, as I imagined the water rushing over the edge of the dam like time washing away, it unnerved me. I swayed back and forth as I searched the trees for a sign of life—a shadow, movement, anything to indicate that Nick was on his way. I had no clue what he ran off to do, but if I could bypass all Elise’s questions and get Dallas here in an hour, he should have been able to do the same.
“We should get going,” Dallas advised, feeling the same sense of urgency I did.
Our little family of five—myself, Liam, Elise, Dallas, and Hilda—was a bit of a mash up of species and personalities, but we were a family. It didn’t surprise me that, as soon as I pulled Dallas aside and told him about what happened, he dropped everything to come with me. Now, as I stood here holding an extra jacket for a guy I was beginning to think bailed on me, I decided to just be grateful I didn’t have to go it alone. Looked like it’d be me and Dallas.
“Okay.” The word left my mouth like a weight, sinking to the snow with my hopes.
We turned, following the water’s edge up the hill, headed for the road where Dallas parked Liam’s truck. It was our only means of transportation, seeing as how leaving Elise without a vehicle wasn’t an option. We packed the truck bed with the few supplies we could sneak out without Elise noticing, but we’d definitely be roughing it.
