“It will take a few minutes to have it looking presentable.” I get the feeling she’s thinking about the media. It has already crossed my mind. She starts doing my hair; my Mum’s not done my hair since my early teens.
Five minutes later, I’m all dressed, hair done and I’ve put some face cream on in the hope of freshening up my tired face. I know everyone was wanting me to rest, but I just want to go back to the hospital. I want to be there when he wakes up.
Downstairs, Joan has been busy when we enter the kitchen. There are two plates of pasta on the table and two containers filled with pasta for us to take back into hospital.
I eat mine quickly; Mum just eyes me suspiciously.
“What?’ I ask.
“Nothing. Are you enjoying that?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve eaten that quickly, you can’t have even tasted it.” Mum shakes her head at me.
“Come on. I want to get back,” I tell my mum who is still eating. Joan leaves the kitchen and I can only presume it’s to get Murphy to drive me back. The mail from yesterday is sitting on the table. There’s a lot of it; I quickly flick through it and stop when I see familiar hand writing. Jeff’s. I don’t have time for this. I put the letter in my bag which I’ve packed with a clean shirt, face wipes and hair brush. Just because I don’t intend on coming home anytime soon.
“Give me a minute,” Mum says
“Hurry up, Mum.”
Murphy appears at the doorway.
“I believe you’re ready to go back?” he asks.
“Yes, Murphy.”
I STAND IN THE DOORWAY of the intensive care room that belongs to Alex for the time being. He looks better than he did earlier when I first saw him. Michael is sitting at the side of his bed, dad is sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. Michael lifts his head and smiles at me. Mum nudges me and I take slow steps into the room.
All the wires are still in place, but he looks more like himself. I’m glad Sarah didn’t have to see him earlier, she’s still going to be upset when she gets here, and that’s understandable.
“Mrs. Mathews.” I turn to face Murphy. “I will go unless you need me just now.”
“No, Murphy. Thank you, go home to Joan.”
“I will and I will pick up Mr. and Mrs. Mathews at the airport. I have their flight number, so I will check and make sure it’s on time.”
“Thank you,” I repeat as he leaves.
“You look better,” says Michael as he moves from the chair. He holds it for me to sit down. I am learning, just do as I’m told for a peaceful life.
“I feel better.” I lie, well it’s only a little white lie. “How is he?” I ask.
“The doctor has been in and out and has said he seems to be responding well, although he still looks the same to me.”
“Don’t listen to him,” my dad teases. “He’s doing great. Now would you mind if I take off home, I’m going to take Alex’s first meeting tomorrow for him. I would’ve cancelled, but it’s a bit short notice. Although I can make my excuses.”
“No Dad, you and Mum get home. I know tomorrow’s meeting was important to him. And if you have to work on a press statement, do that as well.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, now go both of you and I will speak to you both in the morning.” We say our goodbyes and they leave although, I’m sure my mum would’ve much rather stayed. It’s now nearly midnight, and Alex’s family will be here in a few hours.
“So what’s in the bag?” Michael asks.
“A few things, oh and this.” I dig my hand in and pull out the letter.
“What’s this?”
“I believe it’s from Jeff,” I tell him. “Open it if you want. I don’t need to know what it says.”
He does open it.
“Fricken hell. Libby can I have the card the officer left?”
“I presume I was correct?” I ask handing over the card I put in my purse earlier.
“Yes.” He takes his phone, the card and the letter and leaves the room.
I take Alex’s hand in mine, and I’m relieved it’s warmer. I talk to him, because the nurse who’s just been in to check on him says it might help. So I tell him about my day, about the email and the letter from Jeff. I find myself rambling to him, because I don’t know what else to say to him.
Closing my eyes, I rest my head on the bed and keep holding his hand. It’s been a long day, and I feel myself drift off to sleep. I only want to rest my eyes, a few minutes should do.
I feel my hand being squeezed. My eyes fly wide open.
ALEX’S HAND SQUEEZES MINE AGAIN, just as Michael comes back into the room.
“Okay, the two officers that were here earlier are going to come back and take this.” I glare at Michael. “What?”
“He’s squeezed my hand twice now.”
Michael stands at the foot of the bed watching. “You’re right, he’s just done it again, hasn’t he?”
I nod but can’t take my eyes from Alex. His eyes flicker as though he’s trying to open them and I hear him moan. I glance at Michael who looks as relieved as I’m feeling right now.
“Well ain’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Michaels says. I turn to Alex, who is trying to focus on Michael.
“Well, fuck me. What the fuck am I doing here?” Alex shouts to Michael. Alex’s attention turns to me. I can see the confusion in his eyes as he watches me. But there’s also something wrong with the look that washes over his face.
“Oh you have no idea the amount of times I’ve dreamt about you Miss. Stewart. And here I wake up in this strange room and you’re one of the first people I see.”
I look at Michael, and he stares back at me equally as puzzled. Alex called me Miss Stewart. My breathing is fast. Too fast for my liking. And I don’t like the way Alex is watching me.
“I was going to ask if you’re fucking Miss Stewart, but given the fact that it’s my hand she’s holding, I can only presume not. Where’s Phil?”
Fear and panic start building within me. I look between Alex and Michael, a bit dumb-struck for words. Alex tries to lift himself up, but I see him cringe from the pain.
“Fuck, what happened to me? It feels as though I’ve been hit with something.”
“I’ll go and get the doctor,” I say, pulling my hand roughly from his. I walk toward the door, Michael reaches out and places his hand on my shoulder. I freeze. A thousand things are said between us in our moment of silence. I leave the room and slide down the wall of the corridor. He doesn’t remember. He doesn't remember us. Panic starts to set in.
“All I’ve thought about for weeks is seeing her, and I find her here. Is it wrong that I still want to fuck her, even when I can see she is knocked up.” Alex’s voice cuts me in two.
“You are a fucking ass!” Michael shouts.
“Mrs. Mathews, I was just coming to speak with you.” I lift my head to see Doctor McCann approaching me. “Mrs. Mathews?”
My lungs need some air. I can’t breathe. I can feel myself falling, but there’s nowhere to fall to, I’m already on the ground. The wind has been knocked from me with his words. The man I fell madly in love with doesn't remember anything about us.
“Mrs. Mathews?” Her voice is louder as she kneels on the floor in front of me.
“He’s awake.”
“Mrs. Mathews, I need you to take slow deep breaths.” I try and do as she asks because I know I need to calm down. “There that’s better, slowly. Now what’s happened?”
“He doesn't remember me,” I tell her as I try not to cry.
“Do you mind if I call you Libby?” I shake my head. “Good, because that’s how I will address you in front of Mr. Mathews until such time as his memory returns.”
“So you do think it will return?” I ask sounding hopeful.
“Yes, I do. Given that he’s already awake is a good sign. Before the accident, he was a fit and healthy man. We will of course run more tests over the next few days. Now I will
send Michael out to wait with you whilst we see to Mr. Mathews. If you need anything, just ask a member of staff.”
She leaves and enters the room with a nurse and Michael comes out. Even here in the corridor, I can still hear Alex.
“Fuck, did I die and go to heaven? How about you strip out of that sexy uniform and let a man see what’s underneath.”
I can’t listen. I run as the fear creeps through me. I’ve never heard Alex speak to anyone like that. This is the way he was with woman, before me. My heart is pounding.
“Libby.”
Michael calls after me, but I continue to run. I hear his footsteps quicken behind me. I gasp as he takes hold of my shoulders making me stop.
“Leave me alone,” I cry. “I don’t want to be here.”
“Libby, you need to calm down,” he tells me.
I still struggle in his hold. I feel numb. I need air. I can’t breathe again. My body starts to tremble. My face is soaked with my own tears. I can taste the bile rising from the back of my throat—I’m going to be sick. I feel dizzy and really tired. Then there’s darkness surrounding me.
“Libby! Nurse, someone I need some help.”
WHEN I FINALLY COME TO, I’m in a hospital bed and Michael is at one side of me, and there’s a nurse at the other. She’s busy checking my blood pressure.
“Jesus Libby, you really should be wrapped in cotton wool until you have those babies.” Michael makes his point again; he’s already said this to me.
“Mrs. Mathews, how are you feeling?” the nurse asks.
“Foolish.”
“You have no reason to feel foolish. We all react differently to situations we are presented with. This is your body’s way of dealing with all the events of the last few hours,” she tells me.
“How is Alex?” I ask.
“I believe Mr. Mathews is trying. Yes, I’m sure the doctor said he would try the patience of a saint,” she says with a smile.
“I can only imagine, considering the behaviour I witnessed from him.” I shake my head. I don’t like the picture I have in my head. “How long do I need to stay here?”
“Well, until the morning, I’m afraid. Mrs. Mathews, your blood pressure is a little high, and we have you booked in first thing in the morning to have a scan,” she tells me.
“Are the babies okay?” I ask.
“Yes, I’ve listened in to their heartbeats and everything seems perfect, your consultant just wants to double check while you’re here. Now Doctor McCann, who is treating your husband, will be along to see you shortly. And I have your brother outside, I can let him in for just a few moments then he will need to leave along with Mr. Smith here. Hospital policy,” she says, before leaving us.
“Libby, the police will come by and see you in the morning. They are going to investigate further into Jeff. They believe he is responsible for today’s accident as well, I think they just need to try and figure who is helping him.”
“Okay,” Is my short reply. I don’t have the energy for long drawn out conversations, and Jeff is the last person I want to think about. Ethan enters the room.
“Seriously, are you alright?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will because you always are, but sometimes you have to let me in to help you. As for Alex I might . . .”
“Ethan, stop. I don’t need this right now. I’m tired, it’s been a hell of a day.”
Doctor McCann enters my room. “Mrs. Mathews, you gave everyone a bit of a fright.”
Michael tells me Sarah and Richard want to check into a hotel near the hospital, so they can be near Alex. Michael is going back to the flat to stay. Ethan tells me he will be here in the morning to see me. They both kiss me on the cheek before leaving.
“So, what’s happening doctor?”
“Alex has no memory of your time together as a couple at all. He knows about you from his conversations and such like with your father. When he woke up, he thought it was still October. He started talking about some film premiere in London.” I sink into the bed. I can’t believe what she’s saying.
“He now knows you are married and you are pregnant, no thanks to Michael. I do wish he hadn’t said anything.”
“Why is that?”
“Because, he’s reacted the way I knew he would. He doesn’t believe any of it and he’s asked that you don’t visit.”
“What? He can't . . .”
“Mrs. Mathews, my job is to look after my patient. To ensure he has a speedy recovery. I still believe his memory will return in full, but he has to remember by himself. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Mrs. Mathews, I am sorry.” And with her apology she leaves the room and me to my deep and darkest thoughts.
IT’S BEEN A LONG THREE weeks since Alex’s accident and I’m making the equally long drive from the hotel to the hospital. Today will be the last day I see Alex, he’s going home in the next few days to New York. The home he remembers. His parents seem to think being back in New York will help him; me I’m not so sure. I would be lying if I said I was happy about this. It’s breaking my bloody heart.
I’ve spent the last three weeks working during the day at the hotel, then going into the hospital after visiting. Kieran is still on holiday, he knows everything and wanted to cancel, but I wouldn’t hear of it. He needs his break away. When Alex has been sleeping at night, I’ve been sitting with him. It’s the only way I am able to see him. My mum’s not happy with the whole situation. Hell, no one is.
I’ve really struggled, but I’ve kept myself busy. Not busy enough that would make me forget all that’s going on. The pain is still very much there, still raw.
I’m a bit scared of facing him today. I don’t know what to expect. Michael has spent as much time with me these last few weeks as he could. But with Alex in the hospital, he has been in charge of business here and back in the States. So he has been busy; he’s not seen that much of Kirsty either. He has tried to be home when I finish work, so that we could sit and eat together before I would go into the hospital. Sometimes he would come in with me, but usually he had work to see to. Michael is staying here when Alex goes home with his parents.
Poor Sarah and Richard. We’ve had several conversations in the past few weeks. Sarah seems to be taking it the hardest. She is adamant that whatever happens with Alex, she wants to play an active part in the babies’ lives. I try not to dwell too much on this; I’m still hoping that in time his memory will come back. But the longer it goes on the harder it is.
Sophie hasn’t spent a lot of time visiting Alex. She’s angry with him because he can’t remember. She’s spent much of her time with Ethan and Lucy. I see them having a future together, I’m just a bit unsure which country they will decide to stay in.
My parents have had a few, shall we say disagreements, the last few weeks because my dad is continuing to work with Alex. This is causing a huge rift between them. I get that Dad’s business association with Alex started long before he and I got together. But I can understand my mum’s feelings, because I don’t want a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. My mum is only trying to protect me.
It’s a very difficult situation.
The police have been in constant touch with both Alex and myself. The officers are aware that Alex still has no memory and so far have managed to keep his accident from the press. They have taken Jeff’s mother of all people in for questioning, only last night over the accident. Not sure what to make of that, but I don’t even care anymore. But it did come as a shock when the officers told me of this development.
The babies are doing well, considering their mother is hardly looking after herself. My consultant has had me back in the hospital on a weekly basis, checking everything is okay. It’s been strange not going for my appointments with Alex. Not having him see the progress the twins are making. Michael came to one of my appointments along with Kirsty, which was strange. He seemed amazed when he saw the babies on the screen
moving about. One even looked as though it was waving to us. Kirsty loved being with me for that. She has been my rock the last few weeks.
I know everyone plans on visiting Alex this afternoon. I left work early enough in the hope I get to see him on my own for a bit.
I park my car and walk toward the hospital. He’s no longer in the intensive care unit, although he has a private room. The walk to his room isn’t as long as I had hoped. The nurses at the desk greet me, some I recognise, but others I don’t. They have obviously been on the day shift.
I stop outside the door and I can hear voices.
“Michael I don’t care what you do or say. I’m going to file for a divorce!” Alex shouts at him. “Do what you have to do, pay her off. I don’t fucking care how much it takes.”
I take a deep breath. Not sure I have the strength to do this given the words he’s just said to Michael. But I pull myself together. I enter the room without knocking. Both men turn as my heels cross the floor.
“Don’t stop on my account. An interesting conversation you were both having,” I say.
“A one-sided conversation,” Michael tells me.
“Oh it’s alright, Michael. There’s nothing wrong with my hearing.”
Alex stares at me without a single flicker of emotion. And I was worried I would crumble today seeing him for the last time. The only thing his little conversation with Michael has done is make me angry. And just now angry is good; it means I won’t break down in floods of tears in front of him.
“So Alex, carry on. I’d like to hear what else you have to say.”
“You’ve heard it, what else is there to say,” he answers before turning away and standing over at the window.
“Michael, can you leave us?” I ask him.
“Libby. . . .”
“Michael, it’s fine.”
“Please, just be careful,” he says before leaving us alone.
I take a seat and put my bag on the floor, fold my arms and I wait. I wait for him to acknowledge that I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere until we’ve talked.
He's Captured My Soul (Captured Series Book 3) Page 28
