I moved over to stand next to him, attempting to discover which direction her voice had come from. Sound carried in places like this, and it was an effort to determine where noises were.
“I’m right here, Lil. I’m coming to get you. Keep talking. I need to know where you are.”
A gust blew in, carrying any response she may have given father away.
“Shit! I can’t hear her properly. She could be anywhere. At least we know she’s alive, but just for how long, we can’t anticipate,” he said.
I felt like I was shunning my duty to help. I don’t know why I even wanted to help, but by some miracle, Sweet Cheeks had burrowed under my skin, and I certainly didn’t want to see her die while on my watch. “Lil! You have to scream as loud as you can for as long as you can so we can find you.”
We waited for a few seconds, and then it came. Like a wounded animal, the wail drifted over and carried through the valley, letting me gauge her vicinity. It was to our left and on the high bank somewhere. I needed to cross the water and continue on up the path. Suddenly I was in savior mode. Night forgotten, I shone my flashlight at Tom. “Follow me. We need to cross over and continue up the trail.”
Motioning with his hand, he said, “Lead the way, son.”
Slowing down to step across the slippery stones to the other side of the creek, we made light work of it and then both started running. Tom, not so fast, but I seemed to find a second wind, knowing that every moment counted.
The incline was the hardest. I’d come down it last time. Going up wasn’t so fun. The burn in my lungs was good, though. I focused on it instead of how far I had to go. Tom had dropped back, but I wasn’t worried. He’d catch up. Adrenalin kept me going.
When I reached the top, I called out again, knowing she couldn’t be too far from my calculations. It was a breathless shout but one I hoped she heard.
“Down here. Help!” It wasn’t right beside me but ahead.
Down? What the fuck? I’d just come from down. Lighting up the area, I jogged forward some. “Where are you?”
“Here.”
Christ. Where was here? I had to be close. Her voice was getting louder. A large boulder that I remember passing this afternoon blocked the way. I stopped for a pause and called again.
“Yell at the top of your lungs for me. Can you do that, princess?”
“Justice! I’m down here!” It was scratchy and pained.
I moved to the edge of the track to where the edge fell away, checking for any signs of Lil falling. Sure enough, skid marks led into the brush and then disappeared. Crap!
Taking a tentative step over the edge, I sat on my haunches to peer through the tree trunks and shrubbery. It was hard to focus far ahead, and there were so many damn obstacles in the way.
Tom puffed up behind me. “You find her?”
“She’s down there, I think. I’m just assessing the incline to figure out the best way.”
“Lil?” he shouted.
“Dad, I’m okay, but I can’t move. I think I’ve broken my leg. My back hurts too.”
“Stay there, sweetheart. We’re coming to get you.”
Tom looked at me, indecisive about which one of us should go. I knew I couldn’t risk him attempting it. It’s not like he was in top physical shape. He certainly wasn’t fat, but he wasn’t a spring chicken, either. I was their only hope.
Without overthinking it, residual adrenalin still roaring through me, I shuffled down the bank.
“Be careful, son,” called Tom.
I shimmied down, noticing the flattened grasses and weeds Lil had mowed over, following the exact path. It was difficult to hold the flashlight and shuffle downwards, all the while trying to keep my balance.
Pausing for a second, I surveyed how much further, catching sight of her, pressed against a large rock. Her leg was twisted, and she had blood on her hair and face. Fucking hell!
“I’m coming, princess. Just hang on a sec.” It’s not like she could go anywhere, but I spoke without thinking.
“Justice. I can’t walk. I can barely move. I don’t know how you’re going to get me out.”
“Just let me worry about that, okay?”
Within another minute, I had hit my target. She looked a mess, and it gutted me a little to see her that way. I’d analyze it later, but for now, I had to get her back up to where her dad was waiting.
Kneeling in front of her, I peeled some of the matted, blood-caked hair away from her face and gently pulled her head forward to see where she’d been bleeding. “I’m just going to have a look at your head, okay?”
She winced as I set the flashlight down a foot away, facing us so as to still provide a little light. Using both hands, I searched through her hair for the injury. Sure enough, toward the back of her head, a giant egg had formed around a laceration. I wasn’t a doctor, but I knew that a knock to the head could lead to concussion and all sorts of other complications, so I kept my mouth shut and tried to put her at ease.
“Looks like I won the race, huh?”
“Very funny. I was on your tail. If I hadn’t fallen, I would have beat you.”
Even bruised and beaten, she was fiery. “I guess all bets are off?” I lifted my brows in question.
“You think?” she sarcastically asked.
I let a smile come at our banter. She must be okay if she could still shoot back at me like that.
Letting it slide off me for once, I changed the subject. “I have a plan.”
“Do tell.”
“I’m going to put you on my back and climb up. I’ll zig-zag in order to make it easier.”
“Are you crazy? There’s no way you’ll be able to carry me up there,” she pointed out.
“Oh ye of little faith,” I admonished. “Just trust me, okay?”
“It’s your funeral, city boy.”
I laughed at her, knowing full well that I’d have my work cut out for me, especially now that I’d had time to stop. I was going to pay for putting my body through the ringer. I could feel it beginning already. There was no other way, though.
Bending down with my back facing her, I waited. “You’re going to have to suck up the pain, princess, and climb on.”
“Just give me a second, okay?”
I could hear her moving and sucking in short, sharp breaths with the effort. I didn’t want to turn and see her suffering firsthand, so I kept my gaze focused on the incline in front of me, willing my legs to hold out until we reached the top.
When I felt her hands go around my neck and her legs move either side of my thighs, I braced my hands under her legs and forced myself to my feet, grunting against the extra weight and discomfort.
“Hold on tight, ’cause if I drop you, you’re going to roll right back down to where you started.”
She pulled her arms a little further around my neck as I balanced her weight out on my back before taking a step.
Needing to let Tom know I had his daughter, I yelled, “I’ve got her. We’re coming up.”
“Just watch your footing and go easy.”
Realizing that maybe Lil wasn’t critical, I believed I had some time up my sleeve, so I was indeed going to take it slow. Each step I took, I had to lean into it and use my legs to push myself upwards, using the fronts of my feet, almost like I was on tip-toes.
“Thank you.” Lil breathed against my cheek, sending an unexpected rush of hormones through me.
“Don’t thank me until we make it to safety.” We still had a long way to go, and I wasn’t sure I could hold out physically.
My breath came out in puffs as I pushed into the hill, attempting to avoid a slide from the loose dirt. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined to get us both to safety. I wanted out of this stinking jungle so I could bask in a nice hot shower and then hit my bed. It had been a physically tough day, one which I hadn’t experienced before. I hoped there would be some respite tomorrow.
Lil’s breath kept up its tempo on the side of my face, and her body felt like
a dead weight as she slouched into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I couldn’t think about the way having her pressed up against me had me semi-hard. It was too much of a distraction, and I needed all my faculties.
Her broken leg dangled freely at my side as I tried to stop it from hitting me or anything else we moved past.
“You’re nearly here. Keep going,” Tom cheered from the sidelines. Easy for him to say. He’d had a chance to catch his breath and wasn’t lugging someone up a steep slope. I was spent but had to keep forging on.
Lil hadn’t uttered a word for a few minutes. She was either too exhausted or had passed out. Hoping it wasn’t the latter, I drew whatever fuel I had left in the tank and cried out as I reached the top. Tom was on Lil in a heartbeat, lifting her off me and dropping to his knees with her. I collapsed beside them, giving in to the numbness in my legs, gasping for air. I soaked in the pain as I always did, letting it fill me until I could think of nothing else. I had to sever the foreign emotion hurting my heart at feeling Lil’s listless body on my back. I couldn’t deal with that. I wouldn’t. It drove into me like a pick-axe, scaring the shit out of me, but I dealt with it the only way I knew how. Physical agony.
“Son, we need to get her to my utility and then to the hospital. She’ll most likely need surgery.”
I nodded, not having the energy to speak. Tom somehow found the strength to stand while still cradling Lil.
“Are you going to be able to make it back? Do you need to rest up a bit more?”
There would be no fucking way I’d be left in the wilderness on my own to rest. If I had to crawl my way back, I would as long as Tom was nearby.
Standing up, fatigue and aches gripping me, I feigned how I really felt. “I’m good. I’ll follow you.”
Chapter Nineteen
Lil
My body had been chewed up and spat out. Never had I roused from sleep in such a groggy stupor even after I’d been drinking alcohol. My eyelids were so heavy it took all my effort to open them. I was met with two concerned faces and an overhead light that was way too bright. My head throbbed.
“Honey? How are you feeling?”
My dad moved closer and took my hand in his. Searching the room, it became apparent I wasn’t at home.
“What…?”
“Shh. It’s okay, Lil. You’re in the hospital. You’ve broken your tibia and have some bruising around your spine. You’ve also got a nice lump on your head where you hit it on the rock.”
I tried to process what he was saying and then remembered falling.
My eyes moved back to Justice, who stood stoically at the end of the bed. He looked shattered as if he hadn’t slept in a week. Dark rings lined his deep brown eyes, and his clothes looked rumpled and slightly dirty.
“How did you find me?”
Fragmented segments of memory syphoned through, but with my raging headache, I couldn’t make sense of the bits and pieces.
My eyes were trained on Justice, waiting for him to say something.
He nodded at my father and said, “Tom came…” but before he could get anything else out, Dad piped up.
“Now, Justice, don’t soften what you did.” He turned back to me and squeezed my hand. “He came to your rescue. Climbed down the bank and carried you up on his back. If he hadn’t been with me, well, you’d still probably be lying out there.”
Snapping my gaze back to Justice, I asked, “Is that true? You saved me?”
He shifted uncomfortably and chewed the inside of his cheek. “I didn’t want to see your dad climbing down to get you, so I did it.”
He was clearly downplaying it all. Maybe he was embarrassed or wasn’t used to being labeled a hero. It didn’t matter, because he’d rescued me. Big tough criminal he was.
“Thank you. I mean that. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t found me.”
His eyes searched mine for a moment as they flickered with an emotion not dissimilar to fear. I couldn’t be sure, though, because before I knew it, he’d turned to my father and said, “I’ll give you two a few moments alone. If you need me, I’ll be outside in the waiting area.”
Dad moved fast, walking over to Justice and embracing him before he could get away. “You saved my baby girl. For that, I’ll be forever grateful. If you need anything, name it, and I’ll try and make it happen.” He slapped Justice on the back a couple of times and then pulled back. Justice looked stunned and definitely way out of his comfort zone. He nodded, clearing his throat. It appeared he was going to say something, but he closed his mouth again and walked out.
“That boy is okay. He proved himself tonight. It’s not easy, out on that track. He’d already run it once. To go back in again when I knew he was uncomfortable with it and then to not even hesitate to climb down to rescue you, well…that says a lot about his character.”
“I still can’t believe he did that.” I had severely underestimated him. Whether he admitted it or not, tonight had proved that there was some decency left in him. It was hidden, but with a little force, it had come out. I wanted to see more of that. More of the real Justice.
Yawning, Dad took the hint. “It’s 1:30 in the morning. If it’s all right with you, I’m going to take Justice home and get some shuteye. We’ll be back in the morning. I’m so glad you’re okay, honey. You’ll be up and moving around in no time.”
He kissed the top of my head and then left me to it.
As much as I wanted to go over everything in my head, I just couldn’t. The anesthetic was still running through my veins, and the stress of my injuries had taken its toll.
Snuggling under the covers, I fell into a deep slumber.
Chapter Twenty
Justice
It was just after 2:00 when we made it back to The Sanctuary, and I was beyond fatigued. There were some pretty intense thoughts vying for a place in my head, so I hoped they didn’t keep me awake. I just wanted to slip into unconsciousness for a while. The shit from this afternoon and this evening had been fucking intense. Tom had thanked me two more times on the way home, and I hadn’t known how to deal with such lavish gratitude. It made me very uncomfortable.
Lil had looked so damn small and fragile in that hospital bed, a far cry from the sprightly pocket of energy I was used to. When we parked and went inside to an empty house, her presence was noticeably absent.
“Would you like a coffee or something to drink? Tom asked, switching on the kitchen light and walking over to grab a mug from the cupboard. He looked as tired as I felt. There was no way I wanted to sit and chat idly at this hour.
“Nah. I’m going to hit the sack. It’s been a hell of a day.”
“That it has. Well, good night. It’s Sunday tomorrow, so you’ll get to sleep longer. We’ll head back to the hospital around eleven.”
“Got it. Night.” I gave him a half smile and drifted down the hallway on autopilot, making sure my bedroom light was on and the curtains closed before I climbed into bed. I didn’t bother even stripping—I literally fell onto the mattress fully dressed and was out to it in about thirty seconds flat.
***
I knew when I awoke the following morning I’d ache everywhere. My bones hurt. My feet felt like they were covered in blisters, and muscles I didn’t know I had burned. It hurt to even move my head, so I lay silently, letting everything settle. It was light outside, but I didn’t know what the time was. Listening for sounds beyond my room proved futile. Everything was silent. It was either too early for Tom to be up or he’d gone outside.
Thoughts drifted to Lil, and I found myself wondering how she’d slept last night. Had she been in pain? Doubtful. The nurses had probably kept her drugged up and comfortable. They’d no doubt send her home with her own bag of prescriptions. Maybe she’d loan me some to help ease the edge on my own discomfort. If I could physically walk today, I’d need to go and raid the medicine cabinet and see what I could forage up. Thank fuck it was Sunday because apart from going back to the hospital, I was doing jack
shit today.
The two days I’d already spent in this strange new world felt like weeks. Yesterday had been one of the longest days I’d experienced since…I was a kid.
Not going there. Not going there. Stay focused.
As much as I couldn’t wait to get the fuck away when my eight weeks were done, I had a roof over my head, food in my belly, and people that beat the hell out of the ones I’d wasted my time with before. Tom had taken a gamble on me and was a fairly good man, so I’d bide my time and do what was asked of me. Play good for a while. I knew that, once I left the high gates out the front, my life would more than likely drift back to the pathetic one it had been. It was all I knew. I didn’t know how to survive any other way. Stealing, selling dope. Just getting by, relying on no one but myself. If I was going to stay out of prison, I’d need to be smarter and not get caught. That was the fucking key, wasn’t it?
Rolling over and out of bed, I picked up a clean shirt and jeans from the pile Tom had left me and I still hadn’t bothered to put away. Stripping out of my dirty ones, I threw them into the laundry hamper, grabbed a towel, and headed for the shower.
The hot spray brutalized my skin but soothed my tired muscles. Leaning against the tiled wall, I let it pummel me until I was red raw, thoughts switching to Lil again. She took up a lot of space in my head, especially over the last twenty-four hours. She had her own issues she was dealing with—her dead mother, for one.
It had me wondering about my own birth mother and why she’d left when I was small. Did I look like her? How old was she? Was she even still alive? All questions I shouldn’t have been asking. The woman’s choices had inevitably led to my turbulent life. For that, I would forever blame her.
It brought forward the ugliness within my soul. The venom and hatred that caged my heart, instigating the need to harm myself. Glancing at my arm, I began unwrapping the bandage that covered my carved skin. Everything had knitted together but still looked savage. Dried blood adhered to the bandage as I lifted it completely off and threw it in the waste basket beside the shower cubicle. The sight of my mutilated forearm should have brought about a sense of shame and regret but all that surfaced were feelings of blame. Everyone who had meant to care about me but hadn’t had played a part in the wounds that kept amassing. They had forced me to inflict physical pain in order to keep the emotional devastation that was just too vile to deal with buried. I couldn’t let myself fall into the vortex of consuming anguish that would end me once and for all.
Pain Page 14
