She wobbles, and I chuckle, but say, “Come on. We'd better go before your feminine charms become my undoing.”
When she laughs, the sound echoes throughout the space, and I want to stop time in this moment. I want to savor it forever. Because whatever happens after this, it will change everything. Nothing will be the same again.
She’s the first to go back into the light, looking to verify the Enforcers aren't around and watching. My heart pounds a little faster, but this time it has nothing to do with Evie—and everything to do with worry that Enforcers will grab her.
Normally I’d breathe easier when she hurries off the way she came, without even a glance back at me, hurrying without seeming to hurry toward the Palace Wing. Toward safety. But dread pours over me like a cold shower. The certainty that I’ll never see her again weighs heavy in my gut. I want to chase after her, drag her back to me so we can find a way to escape here. I don't care what the teachings say about the Surface. Evie was probably right when she said they were nothing close to the truth and even if she were wrong, I’d put up with all of the Surface terrors if that meant Evie was safe and with me.
But I don't.
Because I’m a coward.
And I only watch as she disappears around the corner.
CHAPTER SIX
Slowly, I make my way back to the Residential Sector, my head crowded with images of the night.
The most wonderful night of my life.
Still, I can’t shake this feeling of dread that weighs heavier and heavier on me. I know if I don’t do something right now something more horrible than I can imagine will happen.
I try pushing myself forward. I need to tell my mom the good news. She’ll be pleased that the Underground is finally gaining some traction. Even if I’m doing it for my own reasons and not theirs anymore, I’ve still accomplished what they wanted me to.
Evie chose me.
But not just chose. She loves me. At least I’m pretty sure she does. If I’d let her say it, she would have. I grin like the fool I am.
She loves me. And I love her.
It hits me like a brick wall. She loves me, and the feeling that something horrible is going to happen because she does, feels like a punch to the gut. I almost literally can’t breathe from the tension around my chest pinching tighter and tighter with every breath I take.
Maybe I should go and check on her. Make sure it all went according to plan. I turn and walk toward the Palace Wing.
I shake my head. No. I don’t want to make it worse. It’s too close to curfew and I shouldn’t be in the Palace Wing without an invitation. If I go, I will ruin everything.
This is what’s supposed to happen, I remind myself. She’s supposed to pick a Suitor. I’m a Suitor. She picked me. Mother isn’t going to care the reasons why.
I’d been deemed acceptable before, or I wouldn’t be a Suitor. I’ll be acceptable now. Granted, there may be more pomp and stance than I know about. Maybe there’s a waiting period once it’s announced that Evie has chosen me, but that’s all right. That’s what’s supposed to happen.
But that horrible feeling digs deeper under my skin. I can’t shake it. I’m sick with dread, hung up on the thought that things changed when I wasn’t paying attention. That everything I know is no longer true. And that even the Underground doesn’t know what’s really going on.
I finally give in and turn and head toward the Palace Wing. Just one more look. It won’t hurt.
Nerves making my heart kick in my chest, I pass the Guard again. This one doesn't even look up from his podium at all and I slip into the tube.
The water is dark outside the tube, and the lights off. No pretty fish to calm my nerves this time. Curfew should be starting soon, but I find that I don't care.
I take the stairs instead of the elevator. It’s entirely too noisy and I don't want the whole Palace to know I'm here. At the top of the stairs, I carefully twist the handle and slowly push the door open while sneaking a quick peek to make sure no one's around. When I'm sure the coast is clear, I sneak out and into the hallway.
I'm not sure where Evie's rooms are, but I do know where her gardens are and I'm sure that's where she is. Or at least that's what our intel says she does at this time of the day, and our intel hasn't been wrong yet. Of course, Evie and Mother could still be talking about our Coupling. I’m sure it isn’t just a simple two minute conversation, but I have no idea where else to go and I know she’ll head there eventually.
When I turn the corner to the hallway that leads to her gardens, I stop in my tracks and take a quick back step around the corner.
Mother is at the end of the hallway, close to Evie's gardens. She's standing with the new Suitor, but he's in his Guard uniform. She’s wearing a red—her signature color—a sleeveless dress with gold lining the neckline. The hemline skims just under her knees. Her wheat blonde hair is twisted into some intricate style that I’m sure her lady’s maid spent hours on this morning. Of course, as per usual, not a hair is out of place. I’m sure even her make-up is perfect.
They're talking quietly, but the marble hallway carries their voices to me.
“I promised you that if you passed training, you could have Evelyn. And I mean to keep that promise,” Mother is saying.
I narrow my eyes. She promised Evie to someone else? The sudden jolt of pain I feel is as if Mother has kicked me in the gut; all the air rushes out of my lungs. No matter how hard I try to inhale, I just can’t seem to catch my breath.
“But you heard her,” the Guard says. “She wants that boy from Sector Three. She didn't even look twice at me. And you should have seen her at the tea. When he walked in, her whole demeanor changed.”
His words finally shove much needed oxygen into my lungs and I’m able to take a shaky breath.
I can't see what Mother is doing, but she says, “That boy from Three is of no concern to me. I sent Evelyn to Dr. Friar. He'll take care of that little problem. Now come. It's getting close to curfew and I'd hate for the Enforcers to destroy all of our hard work.”
The sounding slap of their shoes comes closer and I bolt back to the stairs, only slowing my steps when I get to the first floor.
With a peek out the door, I watch as Mother escorts the Guard out, and then comes back to the elevator. Just as she steps in, she glances my way and pauses. For one horrible minute that stretches into eternity, I think she sees me. Then she continues to step into the elevator, and I release my breath in a fast rush of air.
My instincts tell me to go to the Medical Sector and claim Evie from Dr. Friar, but my head is telling me to take it slow. Barging in on their session would be a mistake; I need to figure out what's going on before I take drastic measures. Talk it through with my mom. Let her know that the game has changed.
I duck out of the stairwell and hurry down the hall, past the lone Guard who again doesn't even notice me. In fact, he almost looks like he's asleep. Only with his eyes open.
Making my way back to the Residential Sector, I try to figure out what I heard. I'm not sure how sending Evie to her psychiatrist is going to stop her from choosing me, but Mother seemed quite confident.
I ponder that question the entire walk from the Palace Wing to the Residential Sector. Evie loves me. I know she does. She’ll tell Dr. Friar. Surely, a psychiatrist would recognize the truth in her words. That’s what they’re trained to recognize, right?
You can’t change how someone feels. Not like that. Not in one night.
Suddenly, as if there’s a movie montage playing in the head, I remember everything she’s ever said to me in a new light. I finally put the pieces together. How almost every single time she’d missed our nightly meet-ups because she “forgot,” she’d had a visit with Dr. Friar prior to it. Or how whenever Mother had to cancel an afternoon Suitor meeting, Dr. Friar had been somewhere in the background. We knew she was being Conditioned, forced to forget and be docile; we just hadn’t known how.
&
nbsp; It was Dr. Friar.
It made sense. Who else would have done it? Who else would know the brain better than a psychiatrist? Eli had to have known. They all had to have known.
Without a second thought, I do a one-eighty and rush straight to Dr. Friar’s office.
No, I think. Not this time. Not. This. Time.
I don’t care what I have to do to get her away from here. Away from him. But I will. I will not lose her again. And I sure as hell won’t lose her to that Guard, just because Mother has determined that he’s more suitable.
Sector Two is empty as I rush past the darkened buildings and silent “streets,” so I’m unhampered in my hurry. I still don’t run. Enforcers still lurk, like sharks awaiting their prey. I’m already too close to curfew, but not past it yet. If I don’t full-out run, there’s nothing they can do…I hope.
But, if I don’t run…
Images of what’s happening to Evie fly through my head, winging across my mind’s eye at a dizzying rate. So I pick up my pace—almost a run now, hang the Enforcers. If she’s gone, if she doesn’t remember me, I’m dead anyway.
I stumble, but only for an instant; my feet catch up to what I want them to do and I navigate Sector Two as fast as I dare.
When not a single Enforcer stops me, I full-out expect a contingent of them to meet me in the Medical Sector. I stumble to a halt just on that side of the tube, a frown creasing my brow.
There’s no one here.
The secretary’s gone. The lights are dimmed. Not off, but dimmed. And it’s as silent as I’ve ever heard it.
But then I hear her. Quietly. Almost as if she’s breathing her words. I can’t make out what she’s saying, but the voice is unmistakable.
There are two doors leading out of the reception area and I go to the one on my left first, positive if that’s what they’re doing to her, the operating room is where they’re going to do it.
I have a moment’s panic right before I pull open the door that it’ll be locked, but when I pull and it slides open toward me, without even a protesting groan, relief is instantaneous. Quickly followed by the feeling that no one is in here. The silence is heavy. As if no one has been on this side in a long time.
Still I careen down the dark hallway, running into each operating room only to find them empty. With the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach threatening to swallow me whole, I push out the door and race around the reception desk to the other door.
This one, too, is unlocked, but I know instantly that this is the right hallway. Her voice is louder now and I can barely hear the rumble of a man’s voice.
I’m careful this time. I don’t rush. It seems like it really is just a therapy session. Maybe they’re just talking, I think, before mentally shaking my head. No. I’m sure it’s much, much worse than that.
The closer I draw to what I know is Dr. Friar’s office, the larger the pit in my stomach grows and the more my brain seems to have fully engaged. It’s reminding me of how idiotic my plan is.
Even if he’s Conditioning her, what am I supposed to do about it? There have to be Enforcers. Guards, at least. Just because I haven’t seen any doesn’t mean they’re not there.
The door looms in front of me now. My thoughts weigh heavy on me.
I don’t know what to do. Fear makes my stomach twist around and around and my lungs pinch with the effort of forcing air out and in. I’m dizzy and sick and I’ve no idea how to push past all of that to rescue the girl I love.
It’s in the moment of panic I realize I can’t do it. I can’t do this alone and I’m just the fool Eli thought me to be to have thought that I could. But, I think, as a glimmer of hope beckons my hand toward the door handle, I can get the Underground to help.
All this new information could be just what they need to act, because they’re not going to want me ousted from my seat as favored Suitor.
So I reach for the handle, slowly twisting it, and push so the door creeps open, barely revealing the room to me.
I don’t know what I expected, but what I see is worse.
It’s only the two of them. Dr. Friar and Evie. But she’s lying on what appears to be some sort of weird chair/operating table. She’s strapped down. Big black straps that stretch across her ankles, just under her knees, across her thighs, hips, chest and shoulders. One arm is strapped down with the same straps that hold her torso down, but I can’t see the other.
Her hair, which shines even in this horror show of a room, fans out behind her.
I can’t tell if her eyes are open or closed, but Dr. Friar is leaning over her, his disgusting lips mere centimeters from her.
“You will forget everything Timothy asked of you tonight. It didn’t exist. Nothing happened. You stayed in your room the entire night, practicing the violin. You’re having problems with the middle of the piece you’re working on and you wanted it perfect for Mother.”
She repeats him in this odd, stilted, unemotional voice. It sounds almost like the guys who work in the outside mining areas when they step into the suits and have to use the in-suit walkie.
He repeats this several times and she parrots every word before he finally says, as he undoes the restraints holding her to the table, “That’s great, Evelyn. You can rest now. You’re very tired. Your fingers are sore and cramped, so even though you wanted to finish your cross-stitching, it will have to wait until tomorrow.” He presses a button on the wall and the table smoothly moves back into a chair.
She repeats him, rubbing her fingers together as if they are in fact cramped. That alone seems to jolt me out of the shock that I’m in.
Anger and a strange buzz of excitement bubble up in me as I slowly—painfully slow—shut the door and creep my way back down the hall.
This time, when I get to the tube connecting Sector Two to the Medical Sector, I bolt. I don’t care if the Enforcers do see me. Something has to be done. I refuse to play in the Underground’s game anymore and I refuse to let Mother take Evie away from me. Take everything we had together away from us.
Mom, Dad, and Eli will tell me everything. I’ll tell them what I know, but I’m not going to be pushed away again, like some insolent child or an annoying bug.
I race as if the Enforcers are chasing me, straight to the Tube to Sector Three. The ride there is impossible. I pace the tiny train car at least a dozen times before it halts at the station in Three. Then, in too much of a hurry to wait for the elevators, I bolt up the stairs, taking them two, even three, steps at a time.
I bang through my parents’ door, shouting my mom’s name, but stop in mid-yell. There, sitting on my couch and drinking tea out of my mom’s favorite cup, is Mother. She smiles when she sees me.
I immediately glance around, trying to see if my parents are here, but all I see are two burly Guards in front of the love seat.
“Timothy! How wonderful to see you here! Evelyn has told me the most wonderful news!”
My nose tingles with an unfamiliar scent, but I just wrinkle it and eye Mother. “Which is what?”
Mother swipes her hand in the air with a laugh. “Oh don’t play silly, boy! I’m sure you know.” I still don’t say anything and she lets out an exasperated sigh. “She’s picked you to Couple with!”
What game is she playing at? I think, but don’t ask.
She continues on. “Your parents are so proud!” She beams at me, before her smile turns wicked and she sips her tea, watching me over the edge of her cup. “Or…rather. They would be. If they were still alive.”
And for one brief second, everything stops. My heart. My lungs. My brain. I’m sure even the world stops spinning. “What?” I barely breathe out the word.
Mother smiles sadly. “Oh, I really do hate to be the bearer of bad news,” she says with a little pout, before sighing again and placing her teacup and saucer on the table and standing to cross to me. She puts her hand on my shoulder.
I don’t even have the energy to shove it off.
>
“I’m so sorry to say that your parents have had a terrible accident.” Tears twinkle in the edges of her eyes. “It seems they meddled where they didn’t belong and ran into an Enforcer. After that, they just chose to…stop living.” She shrugs and dabs the tears from her eyes, even as her lips curve into a wicked caricature of a smile.
“I—I don’t—”
“Understand?” she asks, her voice soft and accommodating. She pats my shoulder. “I know.” She steps to the side of me, and gestures to the couch behind the Guards. “Maybe this will help.”
They move and I see, sitting on the love seat, together, my parents. That wouldn’t be so bad—that’s where they normally sit together at night to relax before bed—if it weren’t for the growing dark red stain on their chests.
And the smell. The one I didn’t really recognize when I’d entered the room hits me full force.
Blood. I can smell their blood.
And I feel like I’m the one who’s been shot. My chest physically hurts, seeing them like that.
Because of me.
CHAPTER SEVEN
My hand automatically goes to cover the gaping hole I’m sure is in my chest. I can’t breathe, no matter how much air I suck in. No matter how much I try to pull my gaze away from my parents, I can’t stop staring. They look as if they’re sleeping—aside from the blood. Their eyes are closed. Their hands clasped. As I watch, my mom’s head slumps so it’s lying on my dad’s shoulder.
A lump forms in my throat and tears burn my eyes, remembering how often I’d seen them like that growing up and how I’ll never see them like that again.
I blink them away quickly before refocusing on Mother.
I glare at her. “How?”
“I’m Mother.” She spreads her hands out as if to say, “Isn’t it obvious?”
“So what?” It’s said bluntly, without any of the fear I’d normally have being faced with her like this. But I’m numb now. I just don’t care.
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