Navarro wanted to warn Jessie about her sister’s evil, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her more than she was hurting now. Nor could he tell the redhead that he suspected Jed had believed him and had used the incident to separate them. To expose Jed’s motives would cause pain and trouble, and wouldn’t make it possible for him to win the woman he loved. Jessie had taught him to think of someone other than himself and of something other than his troubles. “No, Jess, he won’t change his mind or apologize. A proud and stubborn man never backs down once he takes a stand. His conscience might plague him a while, but that’s all. I told you in the beginning I couldn’t stay long. I let you convince me to change my mind. It’s best if I move on now.”
“It’s not best for us, Navarro,” she refuted.
“Branding and planting are over, Jess. The men can concentrate on fighting Fletcher. I’ve taught them plenty of tricks they can use. Also, the sheriff and Army are involved now. Promise me you’ll hang back out of danger. You’ve been a good friend, and I don’t want you hurt, ever.”
“I didn’t mean best for the ranch or my family,” Jessie clarified. “I meant for us, you and me. We’ve been far more than friends, Navarro. I don’t want to lose you, especially like this. I love you.”
That confession staggered him. He had longed to earn and deserve her love. Those were the sweetest words he had ever heard. He wanted to yank her into his possessive embrace, kiss her, hug her, then ride away with her in his arms and keep her forever. There was a heaviness in his heart as he had to say, “Don’t, Jess. I’m not worth your love. I’m no good for anybody, not even for myself. There’s so much you don’t know about me, and I can’t tell you. Don’t love me, or you’ll get hurt.”
That was not the response Jessie wanted. “I can’t help it; I love you. I need you. Stay here and marry me.” He was leaving; she had to be bold. She saw his shocked reaction to her proposal, and she hurried on. “Papa can’t stop us. I’m twenty-four. He’ll have to accept my wishes or risk losing me if we were forced to leave together. I’ll even convince him to send Mary Louise back East so we can all have peace. I can make you happy; let me prove it. Stay, Navarro. Make your home and peace with me,” she entreated.
Here it was at last: Navarro’s dream was there for the taking. How, he wondered, could she give up everything for him? That meant she loved him more than anything in her life, as he loved her. That was incredible, overwhelming, strengthening. He had to be just as self-sacrificing for once in his miserable life. “I wish I could, Jess, but I can’t marry you or take you with me. I can’t stay, either. The longer we’re together, the worse it will be for us to part. We’re too different, and you don’t even realize how much. It wouldn’t work, tsine.” For a moment, he slipped back into his Apache days and called her love.
“Do I mean nothing or so little to you that it isn’t worth a try?”
Her expression and words seared his heart. Maybe he should tell her the whole black truth and turn her against him. Someday, he would. “That isn’t it, Jess. There’s too much in my past standing between us.”
“What? Any problem can be resolved, Navarro. Let me help. What we have is real; it’s special. Don’t make us lose it.”
“It’s too late for me, Jess. Too late for us. I’ve told you that all along.”
“It’s never too late, my love. What haunts you so painfully?”
Navarro told himself she was only in love with the man she thought he was. She didn’t know he was a murderer, a thief, a half-breed, a bastard, the son of a cold-blooded outlaw and hostile Apache, a wanted man fleeing prison and the hangman’s noose, a man who could destroy her and her world. He couldn’t risk letting her or anyone discover his many secrets. He couldn’t risk involving her in such danger. If he confessed the love that filled his heart to overflowing, she would fight even harder to win him, and he couldn’t allow that.
It would be better, he decided painfully, to let her hurt a little now than to hurt a lot when his dark past engulfed and destroyed them. He couldn’t let her watch him be captured and hanged. He had to be strong and unyielding for both their sakes. “You’re a special woman, Jessica Lane. What you’re offering is a valuable gift, but not one I can accept. Mine isn’t a life I can share. I have to move on; that’s what I need. You’ve had all I can.share. I have nothing more I can give. You must believe me and accept that truth. I swear it.”
“Why, Navarro? At least give me an explanation.”
“Not everyone has the same needs and dreams, Jess. I’m a loner, a drifter, an adventurer. I can’t become a rancher, a husband, a father. Not now, not ever. If I could, you’d be the woman standing beside me. I swear it.”
Jessie sensed a terrible struggle within him. She was positive he wanted her, wanted to stay, wanted the life she was offering. Something wouldn’t, couldn’t, let him surrender—not yet. She had to keep him with her until she could unmask and destroy his demons. “Couldn’t you hang around for just a little while longer? I’m sure Fletcher is about to make his big and final move. When he does, our war will be over one way or another. Please, only a few more weeks. Afterward, if you haven’t changed your mind, I won’t beg you to stay; I promise.”
“I’ll think about it. If you don’t hear from me soon, you’ll know I’m gone, for good. Before I leave, I want you and Tom to know I didn’t attack your sister.”
“We know. This is all because of me. Mary Louise is a mixed-up girl, Navarro. She has been ever since she returned from the East. She wants to hurt me because she thinks Papa favors me over her and Tom. She doesn’t know what a burden it is to be his ‘son’ and heir. She probably realized how I feel about you, so she struck at you to hurt me. She’s angry because I won’t persuade Papa to let her leave home. There have been so many harsh words and feelings between them lately. For a while today, I almost hated her for being so vindictive and deceitful. It’s awful to feel that way about your own sister, and I do feel sorry for her and I try to understand her side, but she makes it so difficult. Moving back East isn’t as simple as she thinks. Besides, she is too immature and reckless to be on her own. I’ve talked and talked, but nothing seems to help. I’m sorry you were the target of her revenge against me. Please, Navarro, stay nearby until I can work out this situation. If Wilbur Fletcher learns you’re gone, he’ll attack with a fury. You’re the only thing that’s stayed his hand.”
“If I hung around, your father would think I was up to no good. It’s best if I leave. If he’s worrying about me, he can’t keep his mind on Fletcher. And that’s dangerous for all of you.”
Time, not pressure, is what you need, my love. Time to see what I mean to you. “If you don’t return, always remember me. And if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. Anything, Navarro, no matter what Papa says.”
“What I need and want, neither the white nor Indian God can give me.”
He sounded so hopeless, so sad. “Nothing’s impossible, Navarro.”
“Some things are, Jess, some things are. Go home, and watch your back. Enemies can strike from where you least expect them. Be alert for that spy Roy mentioned in case it wasn’t a lie. I think and hope Fletcher is going after the ranch in a different way now, by ruining you financially, and I can’t help there. He’s smart enough to know he can’t keep attacking or the law will get him.”
“He won’t give up. Greedy, evil men like him never do.”
“I hope you’re wrong. Good-bye, Jess. Thanks for being a bright corner in my life. I won’t forget you. Tell Gran, Tom, and the boys good-bye for me. And tell ’em I’m sorry about this trouble. Be safe and happy.”
“How can I if you leave? At least kiss me and hold me a last time.”
“I can’t; Matt’s coming to safeguard you. Good-bye, Jess. Forget me!” he ordered, then galloped away before he lost the strength and will to do so.
Jessie watched her lover’s departure until Matt joined her. She looked at the steadfast foreman she had known nearly all of h
er life. They had spent most of their lives together, except for the few years when he was off at war. When the Yankees attacked, he had felt compelled to protect and aid his family in Georgia. They were all gone now, except for one brother whom Matt rarely saw or heard from. She was glad he remained quiet while she collected herself. Matt always seemed to grasp her feelings and knew how to respond to them. Whenever she felt trapped by her life, he was the one person who could lift her spirits. It wasn’t so much what the sedate foreman said; it was his cheerful smile, his comforting gaze, his gentle touch that made her feel better. She couldn’t imagine living and working without faithful Matt nearby.
She sighed deeply and said, “If ever a man needed and deserved understanding and acceptance, it’s Navarro. I don’t know what happened in his past, Matt, but he’s had a hard and lonely existence. There’s so much good inside him, but he’s afraid to let it run free and risk being hurt worse. I’m sorry Mary Louise caused more trouble and heartache for him; I think he’s suffered more than his share.” Jessie looked at the foreman. “She lied, Matt. I don’t know why, but my sister lied.”
Matt grasped her hand and squeezed it. “There’s nothing you can do about either one, Jessie” came his gentle response.
“I know, but it makes me so angry. We need him. He knows how to deal with men like Fletcher. He’s the one who made all the plans and taught us how to use caution. When Fletcher hears that he’s gone…”
“We’ll have to face him ourselves. I won’t let anything happen to you, Jessie.”
“You’ve been a good friend for a long time, Matt. I really trust you and depend on you. It’ll be up to us to. keep Papa strong and not let Fletcher win.”
“I would do anything for you, Jessie. Whatever you need or want, just ask me.”
What she wanted and needed, only Navarro could give.
“What about Navarro’s pay? That’s why I rode out. Jed gave it to me.”
“I’m surprised Papa thought about that. I guess he didn’t want Navarro to have a reason to return. He told me once he didn’t need very much. Maybe last month’s pay will be enough to see him to his next job.”
“Did he say where he was heading?”
“No.”
“Do you think he’ll come back?”
“I doubt it. Papa was pretty cruel. Let’s get back to the house. I want to talk to that dishonest sister of mine.”
In a feigned tone of concern, Jessie asked, “What happened out there, Mary Louise?”
“I don’t want to go over it again. It was horrible.”
“I’m sure you didn’t give all the details in front of Papa and the hands. Tell me everything, little sister. I found him and hired him. I feel responsible.”
“I’m still too upset to repeat it. Perhaps later, another day.”
“I’m going to be more upset than you are if you don’t explain,” Jessie persisted. “Did you flirt with him and things got out of control?”
“Heavens, no! All right!” she snapped. “He followed me on his horse. While I was strolling, he joined me. He wanted to know what you and Father thought about him. I asked why. He said he wanted to court me if Father and I didn’t mind. Of course I was shocked and alarmed. I told him I didn’t get friendly with hired help. He became angry, as if I had insulted him. He said he was as good as any man and he would prove it. He said no woman had ever resisted him or denied him his wishes. He grabbed me and kissed me. When I jerked my head back, he seized me by the throat to pull it forward again. That’s when I got these scratches.” She touched the ones on her neck.
“I warned him Father would kill him for hurting me, but he laughed. It was such a cold and cruel sound, Jessica. He said Father was a weak fool who would never challenge an expert gunslinger like him. I panicked. When I tried to run, he grabbed me and tore my dress. He forced another kiss on me, and I feared I would retch. He touched me…” The blonde put her hand over her left breast as she explained. “He fondled it as if it belonged to him.”
When Jessie remained silent, the girl continued. “I clawed him and cursed him. That’s when he slapped me.” She rubbed her left cheek. “He got off balance while we were tussling, and I grabbed his shirt and pushed him to the ground. I ran to my horse and escaped before he could get up and catch me. It was frightening. I’m glad he’s gone.”
“There’s something I don’t understand,” Jessie murmured.
“What is that?”
“How does a left-handed man scratch, tear a dress, and slap a woman facing him on the left side?” As she asked her question, Jessie demonstrated her points with her left hand.
Mary Louise backed away and stared at the redhead.
“If I use my left hand, as Navarro would have, you’re rubbing the wrong side, little sister. On the other hand, if a right-handed person did such damage to him or herself, it would be on the left, as yours is. How strange.”
Mary Louise glared at her. “What is your point, Jessica?”
“You’re far too smart for me to have to explain. Did you stop to think how dangerous a man like Navarro Jones can be when crossed? I think not. Nor did you stop to think how furious Papa will be when he learns the truth. Not to mention what the men will think about such a destructive little liar.”
“How dare you accuse me of making up something like this!”
“I dare because I know you and I know Navarro. I dare because we needed him in this war against Fletcher. I dare because you were cruel and spiteful. If you don’t tell Papa the truth, I will. It will be simple for you to claim you were mischievously naughty, then afraid to tell the truth.”
“Are you mad? They would never believe such a wild tale!”
“I think they already do. The only reason the men held silent was because you’re Jed’s daughter. The only reason Papa did was because your looks remind him so of Mama and that clouds his brain. Once their minds clear, who do you think they’ll believe? You or me? The longer you hold to this story, the harder it will be to correct it.”
“They’ll believe me because it’s obvious Navarro has you blinded!”
“Perhaps to you, but not to them,” Jessie refuted.
“So that’s why he…”
Jessie laughed. “Refused you, little sister, and it stung?”
“What’s between you two?”
“Something you would never understand: respect and friendship.”
“Is that all?” the girl asked with a sneer.
“If it were, what you claimed might have been true weeks ago. I would keep the windows and doors locked and never be alone, little sister. Navarro Jones isn’t a man to wrong.” With that intimidating warning, Jessie left the room with her sister gaping at her back and wringing her hands.
On Sunday, Jessie refused to go onto the front porch for the Bible reading and hymnals. Her absence was noted by everyone.
When Jed scolded her later, his daughter replied, “You read about love, charity, and forgiveness, Papa, but you didn’t practice them yesterday. Why do I need to listen to meaningless words? Either Mary Louise was wrong or she was lying, and you knew it, or suspected it. Else you would have beaten him like you threatened. Navarro’s left-handed, and that sure doesn’t fit with Mary Louise’s supposed injuries. You didn’t have to fire Navarro. We could have kept them apart. If not, you can send her back East so we can have peace here again.”
“Jess! You’d choose that saddletramp over your blood kin?”
“That saddletramp has been more loyal and helpful in a few weeks than Mary Louise has since she returned. Besides, that wasn’t my point. She’s determined to leave home. I think she created this situation to force your hand. I, for one, am tired of fighting with her. If she wants to ruin her life by striking out on her own, let her do so. Perhaps bad luck will teach her more than any of our words and deeds can. I can’t abide a liar!”
“Even if she did lie, Jess, she has to stay home with us because she needs our help and influence. Under that circumstance, he couldn
’t stay. And you know the boys would always wonder if he could be trusted. How could we fight if we didn’t all pull together?”
“Why didn’t you ask them how they felt?”
“Do you think they would have sided with a gunslinging drifter over their boss’s daughter?” he reasoned.
Jessie ran the men through her mind. “No, I guess they wouldn’t, especially with you leaning in her favor. They’re too loyal to the Lanes.”
“Forget him and this nasty episode, Jess.”
“With Navarro gone, I may not have to, Papa, because we might all be dead soon. I don’t want to discuss it anymore.”
Jed watched Jessie stalked from the house, and was about to go after her.
Gran halted him. “Let her be, son. They were good friends. They went through a lot together. She liked him and trusted him. She can’t believe he’s guilty.”
Jed saw Jessie cross the yard, saddle Ben, and ride away. “Do you think he did it, Ma?” he asked his mother..
The white-haired woman looked at the troubled man and replied, “No, son.”
Jed frowned. “Don’t matter much now, does it?”
“I hope not.”
“You think she’s going to go to him?”
“No, son; he’s gone. But I think you’re going to wish he weren’t for two reasons: Jessie, and Wilbur Fletcher. You should be grateful to that boy.”
“For all the help he’s been to us on the ranch and with Fletcher?”
“For that, and for not asking Jessie to leave with him. If he had, I think she might have gone. Don’t look surprised, son. Haven’t you noticed how she’s changed since meeting him? She may dress and work like a man, but she surely isn’t one. I think Navarro’s the first man to make her realize she’s a woman.”
Follow The Wind Page 27
