by Anne Ashby
Slight color seeping into Shannon’s cheeks, and now her even steadier gaze, gave Luke more confidence.
“I’ve never given up playing poker, Shannon.” He needed to make this clear. “Some years I’ve played two or three tournaments and made some decent money. Other years I played and made nothing. There have been a few years I haven’t bothered to register because I had something else I’d rather do at the time.”
He risked running a finger down her cheek. “That’s not the actions of a gambling addict, Shannon. An addict cannot stop, not without some sort of intervention to help him.” She’s listening.
“A gambler puts everything out of his mind except his need to chance his luck. If he’s losing, he believes the next hand or the next roll of the dice is going to change his fortunes. He doesn’t just believe, he knows for sure deep inside, his next hand will be a full house and he’ll win the pot. That’s a gambler, Shannon. But that’s not me.”
He shuffled closer, wanting to haul her into his arms. Wanting to kiss the smile back onto her face. Wanting her to believe in him. I can’t stop there. She’s wavering but she still has doubts. I have to keep focused on convincing her.
“Do you think I’m the sort of guy who’d do anything to hurt Jake and Amy?”
Thank God her head shook emphatically.
“I never expected I’d say this, but I’m a family man now, Shannon.” He gave a wry smile. “My focus now is those kids, this park, this farm.” He took a deep breath and dived in head first. “You and Thomas,” he added. His breath stuck somewhere between his lungs and his mouth.
Luke’s heart raced faster and faster as Shannon’s eyes widened. There was a sparkle in the brown depths that hadn’t been there earlier. He slipped his arm around shoulders no longer hunched and used his other hand to cup her cheek.
“Tell me not to go, and I’ll stay. Tell me to stop playing poker altogether, and I’ll do that, too.”
Shannon’s eyes widened even further. “You’d do that? But the money—Emma said you needed—”
“She can sort it out. She’s taking a fair enough chunk of my profits. About time she earned it.”
“Emma’s married?”
Luke leaned back, frowning.
“You’re sure?”
Luke shook his head, grimacing. Why are we talking about Emma?
“Of course I’m sure. She has two kids in high school.”
“Oh.”
Luke tugged at one of his dreads. Where the hell has she gone? One minute we’re talking about me gambling and suddenly Emma is the topic of conversation.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Shannon massaged her temples. She couldn’t remember ever having so many conflicting emotions rolling around inside her.
Emma’s married. That news sent a surge of relief zinging through her. The times she’d heard them talking, or indeed when she’d called Emma herself, she’d always detected what she’d thought was an intimacy between Luke and Emma. But that had been in her imagination. My overactive imagination.
That’s great, but what about Luke’s gambling? Shannon shivered.
Luke’s admission he was a poker player had blown through Shannon with as much devastation as an explosion flattening a building. His initial indifference to what reaction his bombshell might evoke should have prepared Shannon to his relaxed attitude toward gambling. He had not been at all defensive with his remarks.
She pinched the skin under her chin.
Are his arguments valid though? They did sound valid. If he’s been gambling for years and hasn’t become addicted, perhaps he isn’t like Eric. Perhaps he wouldn’t throw everything away just for the thrill of a win. But maybe he’s been so lucky he’s not experienced the despair of losing. Maybe if he hits a losing streak he’ll risk everything, too.
She wanted to believe him, trust him, but dare she take the chance? Her bottom lip took a hammering while she analyzed her thoughts. It’s about trust. Can I trust Luke?
She hadn’t known about the extent of Eric’s gambling issues, so hadn’t confronted him. But Luke…
As he sat beside her, watching and waiting, his habitually present twitches and compulsive movements had increased a hundredfold.
“Would you really give it up?”
Is that disappointment in his eyes?
“If it’s a bone of contention between us, of course. In a heartbeat. You’re more important to me than a few hours at a poker table.”
She pressed on, needing reassurance. “But your finances, what—?
“We’ll just have to ensure this park turns a profit, won’t we?”
“Emma will think you’re crazy.”
“I don’t give a stuff what Emma thinks. She’s there to advise and look after my money, not anything else.”
Shannon’s lips twitched. “And whether you ignore her advice—”
“Is up to me.”
Shannon appreciated him giving her time. He’d presented his arguments and was waiting, although not patiently. Shannon knew this from his barely-suppressed fidgeting. But he was allowing her space to think through the whole shocking truth.
Eric’s gambling had ruined ten years of her life. Not knowing the problem’s proportions hadn’t changed that fact. If only she’d paid more attention, been more aware of his need to grab at any outlandish event to bet on, she might have helped.
She might have talked him into some type of therapy or rehabilitation. But only with his death had she discovered he’d gambled away their financial security. It was only after it had been too late to change anything she’d recognized and remembered things pointing toward him being an addicted gambler.
Luke jumped up, the chair he’d been sitting on flying backward and overturning. “Don’t move,” he ordered as he tore out of the room.
Shannon smiled. His impetuosity wasn’t unlike Thomas or Jake’s.
But am I willing to believe he’s not a gambler? Shannon swallowed. What am I risking anyway?
Luke hadn’t suggested anything about forever, except for that chuck-away comment aligning his being a family man with mention of her and Thomas It was just a chuck-away comment, wasn’t it?
Shannon’s heart raced as she recalled his earnest expression suggesting it might not have been. Odd notions began bombarding each other inside her head.
He’s not hiding anything. Not as Eric used to. But gambling is so addictive.
Yet if he hasn’t become addicted over the last twenty years, why would he now find he can’t leave the excitement alone?
Luke burst back into the room, a laptop computer in his hands. “There’s something I want you to check.”
He sat his laptop on her desk and wheeled her chair around in front of it. He also leaned over and clasped the mouse of the PC.
Luke’s breath brushed across her shoulder onto her cheek as he accessed the sought-after file. He smelled of that woodsy cologne she’d come to love. One of his dreads fell forward and tickled her cheek.
Her lips parted to help suck much-needed air into her lungs. The temptation to lean back, to rest her head against his stomach was almost too strong to resist.
“Look,” he instructed. A similar file opened on both the laptop and the PC.
His interruption helped refocus her away from the physical attraction clamoring inside. But as her gaze focused on what he wanted her to see, heat flooded through Shannon’s body. It burned from her toes to the top of her head. Her attempt to ease her chair away was hampered by his body behind her.
“I don’t expect—”
“Look, Shannon. You’re quite understandably worried. I want you to check both these histories for any on-line gambling sites. Look closely.” He dragged the laptop closer. “I want you to be sure, Shannon. I don’t want any little doubts to ever sneak in to haunt you.”
The back of Shannon’s throat thickened as remorse overwhelmed her. She wanted to close her eyes, to ignore his command to check his on-line history, because she knew what she would find.
&nbs
p; “I need you to believe me.” His hand on her shoulder urged her closer to the screens. “Check, Shannon.”
Deep inside she’d already accepted his word. She cringed at the length he was willing to go to alleviate her concern. He was willing to expose his whole on-line life to clear her of worry.
Eric would not have done this to ease her worries. He’d been too wrapped up in himself, too secretive about all he’d done when they were apart. Stupidly she’d accepted his quirky behaviors. Eric would not have revealed his secrets, including his on-line history to reassure her.
A wonderful sense of peace and certainty overcame Shannon. She believed Luke. She didn’t need the obvious proof of his internet history, she believed him anyway.
Suddenly it didn’t matter what happened next. Who knew what might come of their budding relationship? While by no means irrelevant, this gambling situation had assumed less importance.
She needed to show her trust in him. Shannon swung her chair around and leaned close to Luke. “So how long did you say you’re going away for?”
His clasp on her hand made her yelp. His swoop to claim her lips with his made her body tingle, leaving her craving so much more as he broke the contact.
“You’re sure?” He looked deeply into her eyes while cupping her cheek. “You’re sure you’re comfortable with the whole idea?”
Unable to do a complete turnabout, Shannon grimaced in front of him. “I’m not sure I’m totally relaxed, but I guess we can figure out how to do without you for a couple of weeks.” Her eyebrows shot up. “It is only two weeks?”
Eric used to take off for months.
Luke’s smile reassured her. “If I haven’t managed to bolster my coffers a little within two weeks, it’s not going to happen.”
He leaned past her and flicked open a calendar. “I need to check with Marcia, make sure she can have the kids. Then I’ll head away on—”
“You don’t need to worry Marcia. I’ll look after Jake and Amy.” As the words popped out of her mouth, Shannon realized she’d taken a gigantic step.
The intensity of Luke’s gaze as it swung from the computer screen toward her suggested he also saw her offer in a similar light. His hand on her shoulder tightened as he stared into her eyes.
Shannon nibbled her lip. “They won’t be any trouble. There’s no reason to shift them over to Marcia’s. They’re usually out and about with Thomas anyway and they’ll sleep better in their own beds.” Her voice faded away.
Luke’s left eyebrow rose as she spoke. Muscles worked along his jaw line as he continued to look deep into her eyes.
Shannon’s body slumped under the hands on her shoulders and she felt herself floating. Her gaze fell to his lips—
“Uncle, Uncle?” Jake’s voice penetrated the silence. His thumping footsteps suggested he hadn’t taken off his gumboots at the door. “Uncle, something’s wrong with Gypsy.” He skidded around the office door. “C’mon, you gotta come.” He grabbed his uncle’s arm. “She’s walking funny.”
Luke didn’t budge. Jake’s tugging on his arm eventually forced him to break eye contact and look at the boy. It was taking a moment for Jake’s message to penetrate.
Shannon smiled at Luke’s rueful expression as he turned to follow Jake.
Luke paused at the door, his gaze hot enough to burn right through Shannon. “When I return, we’re going to talk.”
His threat sent delicious shivers through Shannon. “I’ll look forward to that.” She managed a quirked eyebrow of her own.
Luke took a step back into the office but his approach was halted by a yell from Jake. Luke looked over his shoulder, back to Shannon. Jake yelled a second time—a more frustrated yell this time.
“I’d better go.”
“The joys of being a family man,” Shannon teased.
Shannon swallowed rising laughter and hid a grin behind her hand, but Luke’s grimace as he turned to stomp down the hallway suggested her mirth hadn’t gone unnoticed.
Absently, Shannon powered down both the PC and laptop on the desk in front of her. She leaned back in her chair and gazed toward the window, seeing nothing. Her mind was full of the promise she’d seen in Luke’s expression and heard in his words.
She hugged herself tight, the tingling evident through her body sending her heart beat up higher and higher. Her eyelids dropped, and visions of her and Luke together, alone, sent more heat through her. She leapt from her chair as her daydream became more graphic, more detailed.
Sucking in deep breaths she hurried to the bathroom. Numerous handfuls of cold water splashed on her face may have cooled today’s blush but she suspected the image might return again and again over the next couple of weeks—the image of her and Luke writhing around on a disheveled bed.
****
Although frustrated at the time, in hindsight Luke was glad of Jake’s interruption. He was more than ready to ask Shannon to marry him, and he prayed he knew what her answer might be. But as he examined the horse’s foreleg, with three other sets of concerned eyes following his every touch, Luke remembered the huge stumbling block in the way of their possible union.
Thomas’s reaction to Shannon’s date with him the other night had caused a colossal mother/son argument. While he’d managed to help Shannon forget Thomas during the evening, this problem had to be addressed. Luke sucked in an angry breath just thinking about the power her son had over Shannon. She would never put her own happiness before Thomas.
“I’m not sure what’s wrong, guys.” Luke straightened. He knew bugger-all about horse ailments and didn’t mind admitting it. “Jake, you and Amy walk Gypsy over to Uncle Rod’s. He’ll know what to do.”
When Thomas made to follow, Luke put a hand on his shoulder. “I have a couple of jobs for Thomas,” he told the children. “You can play with him later.”
Luke strode toward the reception building, knowing there was still some tidying up to do down there. Shannon could be relied on to do most of it, but the heavier work he and Thomas could do while they talked. Because talk they must.
They’d worked for some minutes before Luke spoke. “I figure you’ve had a chance to think about what I said yesterday.” He’d laid down the law about Thomas respecting his mother, but hadn’t got any response from the stubborn teen. “So what was the problem with me taking your mother to dinner?”
The boy’s knuckles whitened around a scaffolding plank they were carrying.
When he didn’t respond Luke continued. “I’d like to know.” He kept his tone light despite a cold feeling beginning to roll around inside him.
Thomas’s lips clamped together.
“We’re not leaving here until you tell me, boy, so you might as well spit it out.”
Thomas’s face blanched but his lips remained clamped together.
“I care about your mother, Thomas.” Luke’s voice dropped. “And I’m not standing by and watching you upset her anymore.”
A glare confirmed this wasn’t going so well. Oh God. How am I supposed to relate to this kid? He could ruin everything. Changing tack might be a good idea.
“I have to head away—” Luke’s hands jarred as Thomas dropped his end of the plank.
“You’re going away?” The boy’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Why are you going away? The open day is nearly here.”
The tremor in Thomas’s voice registered. Oh hell! He’s used to hearing this from his father.
“Are Jake and Amy going?”
Luke frowned. “Not this time, buddy. I’d love to take all three of you, but…”
Thomas turned aside.
“…there’s school. I’ll be gone for a couple of weeks.” He swallowed the lump blocking his throat at the dejection he was witnessing. “And anyway, kids can’t go where I’ll be going.”
“Yeah, right.” Thomas shrugged off Luke’s hand. “What else do you need me to do around here?” He refused to look at Luke.
“I need you to listen to me.”
“What? So you
can tell me you have something important to do? That you’ll only be gone a few days? That you’ll take me with you if I ever grow some balls?”
Luke’s chest tightened at the pain in the boy’s voice.
“Don’t worry, I’ve heard it before.” Thomas attempted to wriggle out of the hold Luke put on him. He squirmed and tugged, but Luke wasn’t about to let him loose.
“Thomas? Listen to me. You’ve got more balls than any kid I’ve ever met.” No need for Thomas to know he was the only kid his age Luke had ever had anything to do with. “If it wasn’t for you, Amy would be dead. I’m not going to forget that. You’ve got guts where it counts, boy. In here.” Luke tapped the scrawny chest.
Luke half-dragged Thomas over to some seating along the reception room wall and sat down with the boy still locked under his arm. “It’s time we got something straight, Thomas. Not all men live like your father.”
Luke took a deep breath, praying he could find words to explain himself without destroying the boy’s idol. “He had to travel, to involve himself in high-visibility events to satisfy his sponsors.” What he’d just learned from Shannon about Eric’s affairs had no place in this conversation. “I bet he missed you like hell when he was away.”
Luke relaxed his hold as the steel washed out of Thomas.
The boy slumped against the wall. There were tears in his eyes when he eventually turned them to Luke. “He didn’t know I was alive.”
Luke swallowed. “I’m sure you’re wrong.”
“I’m not.”
Luke couldn’t find words to counter the certainty in Thomas’s response.
“He didn’t care about me…about us.” He began ripping at his nails.
Luke hadn’t noticed the nervous habit before.
“I got really pissed at Mum when she sold everything and made us shift down here. At least in Auckland I had some friends, and my sailing.”
He gave a dejected sigh that sliced Luke like a scalpel.
“I’ve figured it out now. I was pretty dumb to think she’d want to give up everything to come back here. I wouldn’t listen when she tried to explain. She did it because we had no money, and it’s more expensive to live in Auckland.”
