I don’t bother saying that she doesn’t it’s probably written all over my face. The time Henley trusts me, and even then it is tenuous, is when she is half asleep.
“If she finds out about this before you tell her you’re so over,” Gwen lets out a pathetic kind of sigh. “Can’t you even figure out the most basic things?”
“Well if you’ve taken her on some really nice dates… she might be able to accept this as business. You have taken her on dates haven’t you?”
My silence is all they need. Aiden runs his hands through his light brown hair mussing it up. And Gwen groans, throwing herself against the balcony railing.
“You’re so fucking stupid!”
I should feel insulted. But it is starting to sound like when it comes to Henley I really am stupid. This dating thing is turning out to be harder than I thought.
“Why is your brother stupid dear? And watch your mouth.” My mothers smile is polite and serene. It’s the smile she wears when she works a crowd.
Aiden answers for a still distraught Gwen. “His girlfriend is totally going to dump him.”
“Oh I don’t know dear, Adalin seems so smitten I couldn’t imagine-”
“Adalin’s not his girlfriend,” Aiden and Gwen chime in unison.
My mother gets that look on her face. The kind of look a mom gets when she has to tell you your pet died. “Well sweetie there will be other women… more fish in the sea and all that.”
“Christ! She’s not breaking up with me we are barely dating. We’ve got an agreement. This is business! And I don’t love the other fish in the sea so don’t even start with that.”
They are staring at me like I’ve lost my mind, so I replay the words and make sure I said what I meant to, but one word sticks in my mind. I love her. I breathed life into that dark part of my heart that I tried to hide. The part that won’t let her go no matter what. The part that would fight to keep her when I never fight for women. With a groan I lean back against the balcony and face the firing squad, but I think they are all too stunned to speak.
Finally it’s my father that breaks the silence. “I’m sure it’ll be alright son… just keep your wits about you. And uh… I would suggest not bringing other women to parties. Come alone if you have too. Or bring her along. But bringing other women is asking for trouble.”
I just nod and stare at the ground. I love her. I love my donut whipped cream goddess.
Chapter 14
It’s Friday, and I have been resisting the urge all day to call Micky and see how Henley is doing ever since I had him pick her up at noon. A full day of pampering for Henley before our night out. I’ve been a nervous wreck, and business meetings seemed to drag on forever. So now I am at my parents house, getting ready and my stomach is a bundle of nerves. I have never in my life felt like this. Connor McKerrick doesn’t do ‘nerves’. Why should I when I own my own world.
But somehow a simple date with Henley has me turned around. My mother made me get ready at her place so she can give me the once over before she lets me out the door. And that’s all well and good. I need a womans opinion. I need all the help I can get. Especially if Henley is going to react the way everyone seems to expect her to react from my business dinners. I honestly can’t see Henley being jealous about anything. I can’t see her letting me in enough to get jealous. But I need to her let me in. Just without the jealousy because I don’t want her running.
Ever since I said the words out loud. Ever since I said that I love her, the thought has swirled around in my head and I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. Even from the first Henley was different. Henley was more. And this is my chance to prove to Henley I could be more for her. I could be a better man for her. I could give her the world on a silver platter. Because I want to keep her, even if it’s against my better judgment.
So I take more time than I normally would to get my hair right. I’m careful to shave my jaw until it’s perfectly smooth. I’m even wearing my favorite suit, that stickers in at… well… more than most peoples cars. I’m going to give her the full dose of the Connor McKerrick lifestyle. A woman cant help but be impressed with it.
“Connor sweetie Micky is here you’ll be late.”
I step out of my old room, dusting off my already impeccable suit, and face my mom and Micky. My mom poor sentimental that she is, is tearing up at the sight.
“Oh sweetie you look so handsome. Alan! Come look at your boy he’s all grown up.”
“He’s almost thirty Soph, he should have gone on his first date fifteen years ago.” He looks me over carefully, and I try my most charmingly handsome smile on him but he just keeps staring. “You shouldn’t have shaved.”
“What kind of advice is that Alan, really?” My mom sounds almost indignant. I’m the firstborn. I really can do no wrong.
“He shouldn’t have, a woman likes a little scruff on a mans face when its between her thighs,” he responds before wandering out of the room leaving the rest of us standing there in silence.
“Well… he’s not wrong but… you’re going to be a gentleman tonight right?” My mothers eyes are wide and almost pleading.
I know she wants grand children already but was I really such a problem child that she thinks no woman will take me? And he’s not wrong is he? I tuck that tidbit of information away for later. I do plan to use it. On Henley. Thoroughly. Henley has already seen me at my worst. And yes drunk and losing control is my worst. And yet she still agreed to this date, so either she is stupid which I know she is not, or she might actually like my company. My vote is for the later. I find myself to be spectacular company.
“I plan on being as much of a gentleman as I know how,” I offer for my mothers reassurance. She has the audacity to not look reassured. At all. I finally take the opportunity to ask the question I really want answered. Because I know I look good. I don’t need my mom telling me that. “How was she Micky?”
“Well… uh… when I pulled up I think she was disappointed that it wasn’t you…” I can feel my chest puff up with pride at Micky’s words. She does like my company. “But when I explained what was going on she started grinning and said ‘I’m game’. So I used your card like you said.”
When Micky says this my mother’s head snaps around to take me in like I’m some strange creature that she’s never seen before. I should find it unsettling. I should find it insulting. But I know what she is thinking. I never let anyone use my money. And I definitely never spend my money on women. Period. End of story.
“And?”
“She looks better in what she’s wearing than you do, and she’s out for blood. It’s…” there is a flush on his usually stoic cheeks. “It’s backless. She’s…” his voice trails off with a groan. “Just be careful. She looks like a girl who wants to make her ex regret ever letting her go.”
Backless. I want to praise the good choice, but the rest of his warning makes me nervous. And I can see my mom fidgeting in the peripheral of my vision. I didn’t get to the top by running from a challenge and Henley isn’t something I ever plan on running from.
“We better go uh, I left her getting ready to come get you. She should be done soon.”
“Right,” I make one last attempt to smooth my suit, settling my nerves. Before I give my mom, who looks so hopeful that one of her children might actually find someone, one last smile before I head out to the Bentley.
“Are you sure this is a good idea sir? She doesn’t seem like the type…”
“Every woman loves for men to spend their money on them Micky that’s the number one rule of women.”
He looks like he doesn’t buy that, but he just climbs in the driver seat, and we take off toward my date with Henley. I’ve booked reservations at the best restaurant in town. Emergency rushed reservations. Henley is an isolated island. And if I want her to invite me into that island, I’m going to have to make her want the things I can give. Thing’s nobody else can give her.
When we arrive, I step out of the B
entley, and wait for Henley. It doesn’t take long for the door to open, and Henley to step out of it. She is exquisite. The purple halter dress scoops low in the front showing off her ample curves. And even now her arms are covered. She has deep purple lace wrapped securely around her forearms. She pauses for a moment, turning to say something to someone inside and I catch a glimpse of the back. Micky was right. It is backless. As in, there is no back. At all. I can see the dimples right above her perfect ass peeking out from where the cloth covers her. I still have over an hour before I can get her alone and get her naked. Unless I take her home now and ruin all the prep of the day. Decisions decisions.
When she turns back, her makeup rimmed eyes are such a vibrant green, and the look in them… well let’s just say intense doesn’t quite cut it. Fuck me. I take her hand as she makes her way down the stairs, and I guide her gently into the back of the car.
“You look lovely Henley.” I try to stick to the basics, while still being honest. If I tell her what I really want to tell her, we’ll both be naked and between the sheets as soon as we locate the nearest hotel.
“Thank you Connor, a lot of people put a lot of time into it,” she responds rather demurely dusting an invisible speck off the hem as she crosses her legs.
There is something in her deep green eyes. Something that is making every warning signal I have go off. I ignore it. So far this has gone impeccably. What can possibly be wrong? I pampered her. So I continue on course, for what I hope will be the most magnificent evening she’s ever experienced.
I take her hand in mine, as I offer her my best smile. There is a light pink flush to her cheeks that warms her whole look. She is truly a woman who is above all others. “I’ve got a reservation at Nymea,” I can barely keep the excitement out of my voice. Henley loves food. Nymea has the best food in Seattle. It goes hand in hand.
“That sounds absolutely wonderful,” the words are the right ones, but the light in her eyes, the fiery spark that I’ve grown accustomed too, isn’t there. She is probably feeling a bit shy, so I let it slide.
We exchange idle chat, about the day, and when we arrive at the restaurant Henley is a model of perfect behavior. Her posture is impeccable, and her demure attitude fits in perfectly with high society. This isn’t my Henley. The snarky little author I fucked in a bistro restroom is nowhere to be found. I don’t like it.
The food starts making its way to our table. We are the only people in the restaurant, I booked the whole thing. The server brings out the chef’s exclusive tasting menu one course at a time, paired with the perfect wine. When the first course arrives. I know this is the do or die moment. I hinged most of this date on Henley liking food, because let’s face facts. I have no idea what I’m doing.
The waiter leaves after pouring the wine, and I watch Henley like a hawk as she puts the first forkful of food in her mouth. Her eyes close slowly, and her brow furrows, before she lets out a long suffering sigh.
“Alright fine,” her eyes open, and that fiery emerald green regards me curiously. “You win.”
“I win?” I am so confused, and I think Henley can see it on my face, because she laughs.
“Yes, you do. It was hard you know. Pretending to be the girl that is so easily pleased by you spending money.”
“I don’t…”
She sighs, rolling her shoulders before bypassing etiquette in Henley style by bracing her elbows on the table. “Who did I agree to go on a date with?”
“Me?”
“Who picked me up today?”
“…Micky?” Oh. Fuck. I think I know where this is going.
“Exactly. And although having a couples massage with Micky was fun, he’s not who I agreed to go out with.”
“You had a couples massage with Micky?” I can feel my self groan as I lean back in my chair.
“I even saw his,” she makes a weird gesture toward her lap and I know exactly what she is talking about. “Not as nice as yours is though. Almost. But not quite.”
My lip twitches into a frown. I am so firing Micky.
“The hardest part for me to wrap my mind around, is what was going through your mind when you decided to spend and extravagant amount of money to set this up.”
I’m honest. Being honest with Henley gets me further than second guessing myself. “Women like having money spent on them.”
She just nods thoughtfully and takes another bite. “I’ll tell you up front Angus, the spa was great. I’ve never been pampered like that. I really appreciated it.” She has a frown on her face and I can tell she is decided whether or not to say this next part. The guardedness is back in her eyes. “But pizza the other night was better, because it was spent with you. Now enough of that. This food is amazing. Seriously.”
I can’t help but smile. She definitely likes my company. “This is my first date Henley,” She gives me a skeptical sort of look and I know how it sounds. “Honestly Henley. I’ve never cared enough. So I’ll stumble a few times, but I am trying okay?” I take her hand in mine, and the flush on her cheeks grows as she drops her eyes with a nod. “Now wait till you see what’s for dessert.”
Her eyes snap back up and there is a cheeky grin on her face. “Really now? Maybe you do know me.”
“I’m getting there,” I reply with a grin. I really am. Henley would rather have me than my money. To me that is a good, good thing, because I have seen it with Aiden far to often. Women want us for our money.
The meal begins to go smoothly, as we laugh our way through the next few courses. Henley’s cheeks are flushed, probably an effect of the wine, and her eyes are warm as they watch me with an expression akin to the way my mother will sometimes watch my father. I don’t know if that is a good sign or a bad one.
“Henley,” I start softly not quite sure if this is the right thing to do. “Tell me something about yourself. Something important.”
“Like what Angus?” she is so relaxed I’m hesitant to mess that up.
“Well… like maybe why you always have your arms covered.”
Her whole body tenses up, and that relaxed look leaves her eyes. Maximum guard. “Don’t ruin the night by asking about that Angus.”
“Then something else,” I say trying to recover. “Just something personal. I don’t know a lot about you.” Except what you tell me when you’re asleep and you don’t remember. Except the things you don’t know I know.
“I…don’t… like men,” her eyes are still guarded so I know this is something important. This is one of those things that she hides.
“You…” my body is still while I try to contemplate all the meanings of that statement. “You don’t like men? You prefer women?” Christ it would be my fucking luck to fall in love with a lesbian wouldn’t it.
“No,” she says with a laugh. “I’m not… getting near another womans lady bits. I mean I don’t trust men. They make me nervous.”
“I… all men?”
“Yep.”
“Your doctor?”
“Carrie.”
“Your,” I try to think of something that would be related to her work. “Editor?”
“Tanya,” she replies with a smile.
“Your OBGYN?”
She gives me a look that says you’re kidding right? Before she answers. “Liz.”
“Your therapist? Cause you’re going to need one if you really have that big of a problem with guys.”
She looks down and laughs in an almost self demeaning way before her eyes reconnect with mine. “Her name’s Nora, we’ve been working on it since I was nineteen.”
“And uh, where do I fall into this category? Have I gotten past that?”
She smiles in that sad way of hers as she answers, “the only people I trust more than you are my mom and Nora.”
The words ignite something in me. Henley is mine. Mine. She was made for me. Now I just need to prove I can be the man she can trust. The silence builds between us at the weight of the statement goes unanswered. A server brings out dessert.
The final course. And it couldn’t have come any sooner. I need to get Henley out of here and show her with my body what I don’t know how to show her with words.
When Henley takes her spoon and dips it into the dessert, I know I’m golden. This dessert has at least a weeks worth of prep work put into it. Her eyes lock onto mine as she places the first bite in her mouth. She tries her best to keep a straight face, but for someone like Henley who loves desserts, it’s a tall order.
“That looks a lot like the face you make when you come little author.”
“Hush,” she practically moans. “What is this?”
“I don’t know. I told him I didn’t care what he fed us as long as you’re dessert was the best thing you’ve ever eaten.”
“It is,” she says with a sigh on her lips that is almost like a whisper.
I enjoy just watching her savor the dessert, as I pay for the bill. Even if Henley were to send me home, I would be content. I enjoyed being with her. I enjoyed getting to know her, spending time with her. It is a first for me, enjoying the womans company instead of just her body. Which I plan to enjoy immensely as long as Henley will let me.
I wrap my coat around her shoulders, before we head out into the chill Seattle air. My hand finds hers as we step through the door, and she lets me hold onto her like that.
Micky is waiting outside, and I toss him a scowl.
“What was I supposed to do tell her no? You told me to give her whatever she wanted.”
“I didn’t say show her your dick!”
Henley laughs as Micky turns a weird shade of scarlet. “You said you didn’t see anythin’ when the towel slipped.”
“I lied,” she replies with a pleasant smile.
He just groans and holds the door open for us in silence. I really cant blame him. She’s too crafty.
I slide into the back of the Bentley after her, and she hums in appreciation, pressing her body close to mine. Micky already knows to take us to a hotel, so I hold Henley close and hope that will sate the hunger growing in my body at least until we can get there.
We don’t speak, and she seems content to stay curled up against me. Luckily when you’re in the middle of Seattle nice hotels aren’t hard to come buy, and it doesn’t take us long to get there. When I help Henley out of the car she looks at the building and breaks out into a grin.
Torn (The McKerricks Book 1) Page 10
