“I like beer.”
She rolled her eyes. “You really need to get off that ranch more often.” I just laughed and endured yet another sneer from my friend when the guy tried to pour the beer into a glass and I told him that I’d rather drink it out of the bottle. We found a high top table and sat down with our drinks. I looked up at the building and realized it was three stories high. I hadn’t noticed from the front how big it was.
“What’s up there?”
“The club has four bars and three dance rooms. The one we walked through is hip hop and reggae the patio, of course doesn’t have a dance floor. Second floor is Latin music and the top is hard rock. It’s like three clubs in one.”
“Nice. Where’s Lance tonight?”
“He’s here somewhere,” she said, looking around as if he might appear. “He’s working though so when he has a minute, he’ll find us. What about you?”
“What about me, what?”
“How long have I known you?”
“Um…we were eleven…”
“Right so ten years…all through your formative years. I can hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes….There’s a man. Is it the step-brother?”
“What? Why would you even ask me that?”
“Please…every time I mention him…even on the phone, your voice changes. You know I said something like “Ugh!” about it that first day, but I was only playing with you. You’re not blood related…you’re both adults…” I felt tears spring to my eyes. Oh shit! I was not going to ruin my night out crying over Mark! “Oh honey, it is him, isn’t it?”
I nodded and said, “I don’t know what is going on with me, Sam. I tried so hard not to have feelings for him. God…he’s hot.” We laughed and she said,
“How hot?”
“He has dark hair and it curls up around his cowboy hat…and these incredibly sexy sapphire blue eyes. He’s not super tall, but his body is like perfectly proportioned…you know? It’s all hard lines and lean muscle…”
“Wow, you have it worse than I thought.”
“Shut up, I do not.”
“If you believe that you need to stand in front of a mirror and say all of that the way you just did. Honey it’s in your eyes no matter how much you deny it? Have you slept with him?” I felt my face go hot. Before I had a chance to deny it she said, “Oh my God! You have so been holding out on me! I want details.”
“I feel so guilty about it, Sam.”
“Why? You’re an adult, he’s an adult. You’re single, he’s single….” she must have noticed the change in my face because she said, “He is single, right?”
I shrugged. “He says he is. Some Daisy Duke looking chick showed up the other day and called him “my man.” Then she proceeded to find him in the barn and kiss him. When I walked in on that, I would have bet money he was kissing her back.”
“What did he say?”
“He denies it. He says she kissed him and he pushed her back and told her they’d been over for a long time…”
“But you don’t believe him?”
I shrugged. The teas burned my eyes again. “Maybe I don’t want to,” I said. For the first time I realized something and then I said it out loud. “Maybe I’m looking for an excuse to break things off with him once and for all.”
She raised an eyebrow and said, “You want to know what I think?”
I smiled and said, “You’re going to tell me anyways.”
“Yes I am. I think that love is really hard to come by and if you find it…and you’re not blood related to the guy, you shouldn’t be looking for ways out. Sometimes I think the reason that you and I have had such a hard time of it where men are concerned is because we’ve been so rigid about a “type” that we’re looking for.”
“We’re not in love.”
She laughed. “Let’s go dance.”
“What are you laughing about? I am not in love with this guy!”
She laughed again. “Okay. Let’s go dance.”
“Samantha!”
“Listen Lex…you can deny it to me and to your mom and even to him…but you can’t deny it to yourself. Don’t deny yourself the chance to be happy. I know your mom and I know that she wouldn’t want that either.”
“But you don’t know Mark’s dad. This would cause so many problems for Mark and my mom with him…”
“Want my final piece of advice on the subject…before we go dance?”
I laughed. “Okay, give it to me.”
“First, look in your heart and decide what you want. Then, talk to Mark and talk to your Mother. If he feels the same and your mother tells you to be happy…which I know she will…then screw the wicked step-father.”
“Please don’t hold back, Sam. Tell me how you really feel.”
“You couldn’t handle that much truth,” she said with a giggle. She slid off the stool and hooked her arm through mine, pulling me down. “First we dance and then you give me some details about the cowboy hook-up.”
Lexi and I danced and then as we were leaving the dance floor she saw a guy that she knew from work. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. While I was in there I felt my phone buzz. I looked at it. It was a text from Mark. Damn him! Why can’t he just leave me alone? I hadn’t thought about him for fifteen whole minutes at least. Damn it! I read the message and it said,
“I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. I hope you’ve had time to think it over. I’m not leaving for the rodeo until day after tomorrow. Think about it, please.”
I text back, “Don’t hold your breath.” I felt mean…but I also felt like he deserved it.
CHAPTER EIGHT
MARK
By the time I got out of the shower, Lexi was gone. I got dressed and left the house. Dad and Lydia were watching a movie and it was the first night in a while that he’d stuck around and spent time with her instead of avoiding the house like the plague so he didn’t run into me. I didn’t want to ruin the evening for her, and I didn’t want to be alone, so I got in my truck and went to the bar that I’d taken Lexi to the first time we had…spent the night together. When I walked in, I scanned to see who was there that I could talk to and take my mind off of things. A lot of the regulars were there, so I ordered my beer and went over to a table full of guys that I’d known since high school.
“Mark! How the hell are you?” Brayden Fisher was the son of the man who owned the ranch that bordered ours along the south side. He and I have always been friendly, but our fathers hate each other for reasons unknown to either of us.
“I’m good, Brayden,” I lied, shaking his hand. “How are you?”
“Good. I just got back from buying 300 head of cattle in Texas. The guys took me out for a celebration.”
“For your dad?”
He looked excited and said, “No! For me. I bought the Simpson place last week. Your dad didn’t tell you? He’s been helping me out a lot.”
Embarrassed to tell him that my father hadn’t spoken to me in a week or more I said, “You know, I think he did mention it. I’ve just been on the road so much; I’m the one that forgets things. Congratulations. That’s awesome.”
“Thanks! How about you? How’s the season coming along?”
“Good. I’m in the number three spot and we’re halfway through. If I maintain it, I’ll be riding that big neon bull in Vegas come December.”
“Very cool! I have a free two-night stay over there at Thomas and Mack. Maybe I’ll use it and come see you walk away with six figures. You can buy me a drink.”
“Hell yeah!”
“So who are you seeing these days? Graham said he saw you at the Woodlake Rodeo with some hot little brunette. Are you holding out on us?”
Son of a bitch! Graham is Brayden’s younger brother. He’s a calf-roper. If Dad’s been helping him out, I’m sure that he knows all about Lexi staying with us. If his brother saw us after my ride…that would be a little hard to explain. Maybe that explains Dad’s mood lately. God, just what I needed.
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“She was just a girl I met on the road. Really sweet and pretty, but I doubt I’ll see her again. She’s from out of state.” Taylor was right about one thing, I am a big, fat liar.
“Aw, well that’s too bad. The pickings around here can get slim sometimes. Don’t look now but the love of your life just walked in. If you ever get desperate…”
I didn’t have to turn around to know he was talking about Taylor. Everyone in town was aware of how long we were together and everyone was surprised when we broke up. I guess they expected us to get married and settle down on the ranch. I shudder at the thought of being married to her and stuck out on that ranch with her…I turned around and sure enough, there she was. She was wearing a Levi skit that I’m sure would give a clear shot of her vagina when she sat down. She had on a skimpy little tube top that left her midriff bare and a pair of hooker heels that had to be six or maybe even eight inches high.
“Shit!”
“Not happy to see her?” Graham was grinning. He knew how I felt about her.
“Not in the least,” I said. “She’s like a leach. I can’t get rid of her. I’m going to grab a beer. I’ll talk to you in a bit.” Taylor was headed in the opposite direction from the bar. My plan was to slip out the door before she saw me. As luck would have it…I didn’t make it.
“Mark!” The sound of her voice made me cringe. I turned around slowly and for the sake of everyone watching…not Taylor, I offered a small, fake smile.
“Hey Taylor. What’s up?”
“Are you leaving?” she asked me with that ridiculous pout.
“Yeah, I have somewhere I need to be.”
“Aw, come on and hang with us for a while. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been together. Jamie and Karen are here.” I looked over where she pointed. Jamie and Karen had been our best friends in high school. They were still together. A guy named Vic and his girlfriend Lily were there too. Taylor seemed to be the only single one, and we seem to be the only two who weren’t still stuck in high school. Or maybe, that was only me. I just wasn’t interested in helping her out in the fifth wheel department. Not tonight and not ever.
“Please,” she said, now batting her eyes at me. I wasn’t impressed in the least. I have a pair of dark brown eyes with long, thick chocolate lashes on my mind. Damn, I miss her already.
“I’ll say hello to everyone, but then I have to go.”
She hooked her arm through mine and I pulled away. She shot me a glare and said, “Where are you in such a hurry to get off to? You have a date with…”
“Don’t say it, Taylor!”
She giggled. I wanted to choke her. Then she lowered her voice and in a conspiratorial tone she whispered, “Okay, it’ll be our secret that you’re fucking your step-sister. The more I think about it, it’s kind of hot. I’ve never messed around with a guy who was banging his sister.” I really almost hit her. Thank God for impulse control. Instead, I turned around and left. I could hear her calling after me even after I was in the truck. Maybe she has a death wish, I don’t know. She made what I felt for Lexi sound so dirty. It wasn’t like that…but that was how everyone would see it, I’m sure. I know my dad would.
I sighed. I can probably be sure that before I get down the road, she’ll tell everyone her theory about me and Lexi. This town loved a rumor. It would spread like wildfire and poor Lydia would have to fend off questions every time she went into town. God, what have I done to my family?
I couldn’t help that now….I guess I’d deal with the fallout when I had to, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to follow the little witch Taylor around and kiss her ass to keep her from telling. I stopped and got a hamburger and took it back home. I also sent Lexi a text about the rodeo again. Maybe if she went with me, this time instead of having sex, we could talk and figure some of this out.
I parked the truck behind the barn, hoping Dad wouldn’t hear me drive up. I got a text on my way into the house. It said, “Don’t hold your breath.” Damn! Harsh!
I passed the parlor where Dad and Lydia were sitting. They were both looking at the television and I didn’t think either of them saw me as I sneaked past. I should have known my luck wasn’t that good lately. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard my father say,
“Mark!” Shit!
“Yeah Dad?”
“Bob needs some help rounding the calves up out on the South side and bringing them up to the north side tomorrow morning.”
“Okay.” I started back up and I heard his footsteps. I stopped again and he came to the edge of the stairs. Looking over his shoulder to make sure that Lydia wasn’t listening he said,
“Maybe you can earn some of that money you’ve been helping yourself to.”
I was finally pushed to my limit. Between Taylor and Lexi and him…I felt like I’d lost all of my patience and all of my self-control. I usually prided myself on my ability to stay cool in situations. This time, I just couldn’t do it. “I came down the stairs and got in his face. He didn’t flinch, or budge, but I could tell he was surprised. He was also going to be pissed when he recovered from the fact that his son wasn’t really a wimp after all. He’s used to picking on me without much of a visceral response in return. I’m sure he has it in his head that I’m a wuss. The truth is it’s just never been worth fighting over. Now, it was different. He was accusing me of something that went against all I believed in.
“I am not a fucking thief; do you understand me, old man?” I was pointing my finger into his chest. For a second, I thought he might hit me. His face was bright red and the veins in his neck were bulging.
“You will not speak to me that way in my house.” He looked over his shoulder again. He’s so afraid Lydia will hear us. Maybe he’s the wuss.
“Really? But, it’s okay for you to treat me like shit? Heaven forbid I stand up for myself. You like me to just shut up and take it. Well, guess what, Dad? You pushed me to the point where I can’t take it any longer. I don’t care if you throw me out. I don’t care if you tell everyone in this county that I stole from you…you want to know why…Dad? I’ll tell you why. I know that I’m not a thief and I know that I do twice the work around here as you do when I’m home. I have respect for myself and what I do with my life…I don’t need yours. I don’t need your money and I’ve even lived without your love for so long that I don’t need that any longer either. Mom would be sad to know what you’ve turned into.”
“Don’t talk to me about your mother. She would be ashamed of what you’ve turned into. You’re a damned thief. It would make her sick. And it’s good that you don’t’ need my respect because you’re not ever going to earn it the way you’re going!” I noticed he didn’t mention “love” at all.
“Rob! Please, both of you stop this! I can’t stand it!” We both looked up. Lydia was standing a few feet away. “I don’t understand what is happening to the two of you…”
“It’s not just happening, Lydia, he’s never liked me…at least not since my mother died. Isn’t that right Dad? You would have been happier if I would have died and she lived.”
“Oh Mark, you shouldn’t say things you don’t mean just because you’re angry,” Lydia said. My father on the other hand was silent. His chest was heaving and his face bright red with anger.
“I mean it, Lydia. I’m sorry you have to be in the middle of this. I’ll find somewhere to go when I get back from the rodeo this weekend and get out of your way.”
“Mark, you’re not in our way.”
My dad looked at her and then at me. Looking back at her he said, “I think it’s for the best.” Then he walked away. Lydia looked distressed.
“Don’t worry Lydia, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will. I just have issues with people who walk away from their children. Even if those children are adults…it’s not okay.”
I kissed her on the cheek and said, “Thanks for having my back. I think I’ll take off for Livermore tonight. I think they have things going on at the rodeo g
rounds tomorrow and then the rodeo is Saturday and Sunday. I need to get out of here before we both completely blow up, I think.” She nodded, obviously believing that was as good of an idea as I did. “Can I ask you a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Tell Cowboy Bob for me that I’m sorry I couldn’t help with the cows and tell Lexi that I’m sorry I missed her.” Lydia grabbed me up in a hug, which surprised me.
“I will. You come home to us safe,” she said.
“I will.” I smiled at her. She was truly my only ally on the home front. I just felt bad that it caused her anxiety. I’m sure she catches flak from my dad about it.
I packed my clothes and things and then I hooked up the trailer and loaded up my tack and Sarge. It was late to head out for at least a seven hour drive depending on traffic…but I wasn’t going to sleep much tonight anyways. I put on a Garth Brooks CD and tried to clear my head as I drove. It didn’t work…my head was full of the things I wanted to avoid thinking about whether I liked it or not. My own father disowned me. That “back-up” plan or “second” life that Bob was talking to me about was out the window. The ranch was always my back-up plan. I know that I’m not super-human. I know the risks I take every time I nod my head and that chute is opened…I thought I would always have the land to come home to. I guess I was wrong.
Then of course, there was Lexi. If I was being completely honest with myself I would have to say that she was the only woman I’ve ever even been close to falling in love with. I couldn’t honestly say I was already there…There was still a lot that I didn’t know about her. But what I did see was what she didn’t want me to. She wasn’t that tough as nails city girl who didn’t need anyone that she liked to pretend that she was. She had secrets that ran deep…and she needed someone to be there for her. I can feel her goodness and I can see it. I can also see that she wants to push me away because she’s afraid. I’m not sure what to do about that, because I’m just as frightened of it all as she is.
It was five a.m. when I pulled into Livermore. The great thing about cowboys is that I knew before I got there that the rodeo grounds would be filled with men who had been up since before dawn and excited about getting this weekend on the road. The gates to the rodeo wouldn’t open for another 32 hours or so, but there was a lot of work to be done…and I not only wanted to help, I needed to. This was where I felt like my presence made a difference, and where I needed to be.
Ride Me Cowboy #3 (The Cowboy Romance Series - Book #3) Page 5
