He started to close his shirt buttons, needing the distraction, but she swatted his hands away and handled the chore herself—forcing him to watch her bent head as she worked, letting him drink in the sight and scent of the riotous head of curls she’d freed earlier.
She finished and rested her hands in her lap. “A real gentleman would walk me to my door. And once he got there, would he really want to let me go in alone?”
Yes. No. What he wanted didn’t matter and Doug knew damn well he was no gentleman.
Another flash lit up the dark sky. Her wide, bright eyes shone with hope, asking him not to let her down. Thunder immediately followed and Doug knew he was doomed. No way would he send her inside to face the rest of the storm and the rest of the night alone. He wondered if fate was laughing as it prevented him from doing the noble thing. Doug had never considered himself honorable yet when it came to Juliette, he didn’t recognize the man he’d become.
In answer to her question, he pushed open the door and stepped out into the rain. He wasn’t surprised when the driver practically materialized by his side or when Juliette hesitated at the edge of the car’s back seat to stare up at the stormy sky.
“You took long enough to decide. I don’t mind being alone. I’m an adult, no matter how foolish I’ve acted, and I’ve survived many thunderstorms on my own.”
He held out his hand but she stubbornly refused to grasp it. “Are you waiting until I drown?” he asked.
She set her jaw tight. “I don’t want you coming with me out of pity.”
He reached forward and grabbed her hand, hauling her out of the car and into his arms. Ignoring the driver and the rain, he pulled her flush against him. “Does this feel like I pity you?” He whispered the words, harsh and as desperate as he felt, in her ear.
Her eyes opened wide.
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. Thanks to that distraction you needed, you’ve spent the last half hour gearing me up.”
“You’re certainly feeling aroused.”
“By you.”
“You don’t say?” She grinned and he couldn’t help but kiss the smile on those damp lips.
She laughed and kissed him back, twining her arms around his neck and opening her mouth, letting him deep inside. Somewhere beside him he heard the gunning of the car motor and knew the driver had left them behind.
Grasping her hand, he pulled her beneath the portico of her cottage. The overhang was small and barely granted them coverage. “We should get inside.”
She licked at the water on her lips. “We should and we could—but then I’d never get over my fear of storms. But if we were to replace the bad memories with something wonderful…” Her voice trailed off. Deliberately provocative, husky and sure.
“Then we’d have a cure for phobias. We could market it and make millions.”
She laughed. “I’m game if you are.”
He groaned, conceding defeat. He was here and unless he wanted to walk back to the main resort and his room in the rain, he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Nor could he back off without giving her the wrong impression and making her unsure and vulnerable, two things he never wanted her to be again. Especially not when she was with him.
“What the hell,” he muttered and sealed his lips tight against hers.
Though he knew he couldn’t justify this with the notion that he was fulfilling her fantasy, at the moment, he didn’t care—about anything except feeling and tasting the erotic mixture of rainwater and Juliette. He stroked her lips with his tongue and delved into the deep recesses of her mouth, learning and giving one minute, devouring then gentling the next.
The rumble of thunder, when it came, was softer than before but she still stiffened. “Easy.”
Her muscles slackened and he ran his hands up and down her arms, warming her through her damp shirt and attempting to heat her body with the same fire raging through him. But a chill shook her slender frame and Doug knew their time outdoors was coming to an end. Something he couldn’t allow until he’d done as she asked and replaced her old fear of storms with a new kind of awareness—a tempest of arousal and emotion that culminated in blinding ecstasy. One she wouldn’t forget or ever fear.
With that thought, he slipped his hand between them, cupping her intimately, waiting for a signal of rejection or acceptance, knowing he’d heed either. But when his hand found a warm, welcoming home in the juncture of her thighs, he hoped like hell she wouldn’t have second thoughts now.
She let out a whimper of assent, a soft mew of satisfaction, and just when he thought he’d been granted his deepest desire, she shifted her stance, parting her legs and affording him greater access. He’d wanted her permission. He’d received her submission instead. Her complete and utter trust, he thought, and an alien emotion rose in his chest—something tender and warm, pushing hard into his throat and nearly stopping his breath. The feelings she inspired should have sent him running, but he was beyond reason. Beyond anything except this woman and this moment.
Juliette sighed, tingling with anticipation. He flattened his palm against her there and despite the heavy barrier of denim, his fingers managed to dip inward, creating a rising tide of emotion she’d never experienced before. She shuddered and grabbed for his shoulders, certain she’d fall without support.
So this was what real desire felt like. Swirling sensations that kept her light-headed and dizzy. A relentless tugging that caused her heart to pound, her throat to close, and made that delicious pulling sensation he created between her thighs not close to being enough.
He brushed her damp hair off her face with one hand. “Where are you now?”
A warm smile lifted her lips. “I’m drowning in…desire.” She’d nearly said emotion before catching herself with a mental warning. Don’t rush things, she silently cautioned but feared she was falling hard anyway.
“Not fear?”
“Is there anything to be afraid of?” she asked immediately, catching her own dual meaning.
As if testing her, the elements chose that moment to make themselves known. Though the sky didn’t illuminate with light, thunder rumbled overhead. Her fingers curled into his shoulders but she knew she was safe.
He grasped her chin in his hand and turned her to him. “Not with me. You never have to fear me.”
And looking into those gorgeous blue eyes, she believed. Without warning, he shifted her attention from his face to herself by rocking his other hand against her body, and the place he owned with his masterful touch. Warmth, heat and intense sensation collided, bringing her to the brink of release faster than she’d ever dreamed possible.
“Where are you?” he asked her again, rotating his palm against her mound, pressing deep with his fingertips, playing her hard and well.
Unable to speak, she swallowed a moan and he released the exquisite building pressure, stopping her assent. “Doug, please.” Her hips jerked forward in a silent plea.
“Just tell me where you are,” he said, his own voice gruff with desire and raw emotion. “Open your eyes and look around.”
Had she closed them? Juliette forced her eyelids open and glanced over her shoulder into the dark night. “I’m outside.”
He rewarded her answer with just the right movement of his hand, the perfect rotation of his palm and fingertips, keeping the momentum going until she knew she was riding that wave once more, but stronger this time.
Holding on to Doug for support, she leaned her head backward, jerking her hips forward at the same time, seeking harder, deeper pressure.
“Is it raining?” he asked.
Knowing the result if she ignored the question in favor of sensation, she blinked and forced the answer from inside her. “Yes.”
He’d found the perfect turning, twisting motion and his hand seemed connected to her body, bringing her closer and closer to…
“Lightning?” he asked.
She was so, so near…Her body shook and a yawning emptiness warred with the cataclysmic f
ulfillment that was almost within reach. She didn’t want to speak, she wanted to feel. “No, no lightning. Not anymore.”
He quickly shifted their positions, leaning her against the door and repositioning his hand. The door gave her more solid support against her back, letting him thrust as hard and deep as he could, pushing her to the outer limits of desire.
“Thunder?” His voice sounded as hoarse and raw as she felt.
“Yes.” The pulsing picked up momentum and her hips gyrated against his hand. “Oh, yes.”
“What are you going to think of next time it rains?” His voice rasped in her ear.
“You,” she said as her body exploded.
He sealed his lips over hers, catching the word in his mouth, joining with her for the first wave of blinding light that could have been lightning striking them and she wouldn’t have cared.
Then the languorous, incredible waves subsided and reality set in. She’d come on to this man in a way that was completely foreign to her and she’d experienced delight at his hands. Much as she’d enjoyed it, she was mortified and didn’t know how she’d face him now.
* * *
“COFFEE’S READY.” Juliette walked into the sitting area of the small cottage holding two white mugs.
She wore a silky two-piece outfit that covered more skin than Doug would have liked, yet teased him with a low dip in the neckline and a faint outline of her full curves. Curves he’d still like to feel thoroughly and without the barrier of clothes.
He cleared his throat. “Thank you. Hot coffee’s great.”
“Are you still chilled?” She set the drinks on the table in front of the couch.
Though she’d been able to change into dry clothes, he’d had no choice but to remain in his damp ones. The jeans weren’t too wet but his shirt had soaked through, so he’d taken it off and wrapped a towel around his neck for comfort.
He picked up the mug, letting the heat pass from the cup through his body. “I’m better now.” Not because of the coffee but thanks to his view of Juliette.
Her hair fell in soft curls over her shoulders, her skin was makeup free and she turned him on more than any woman he’d seen dressed for a night on the town.
“This place amazes me. It’s got all the comforts of home and yet I’ve never felt further from my life.” She shifted her legs from one position to the next, while twisting one long lock of hair around her finger.
“I don’t feel much closer to mine,” he muttered. A chill shook him—from the rain, or her effect on him, he didn’t know.
“I wish I had something warmer for you to wear but I barely recognize the clothes in my suitcase and, trust me, there’s nothing remotely big enough to fit you.”
She couldn’t look him in the eye—or anywhere else for that matter. Doug wondered if he’d ever known a truly modest woman before. He wished she wasn’t so uncomfortable about the incredible experience they’d just shared. He wished he had a dry shirt to put on and ease her discomfort. But a bigger part of him wanted her comfortable with him, undressed or not. And damned if he didn’t want to repeat their outdoor experience, but this time they’d be in a warm bed and he’d be inside her body.
He swiped a weary hand over his eyes. Now that couldn’t happen. He’d already taken things further than he’d ever dreamed and, besides, her fidgeting told him how ill at ease she truly was.
The only way to distract himself from the impossible was talk. “Did you buy all new clothes for this trip?” he asked, picking up on her comment about barely recognizing the clothes in her suitcase.
“Not hardly.” Her laugh had a wry sound and he suddenly wondered if she was sitting before him wearing honeymoon clothes. Wondering if her skimpy bathing suits and sexy lounging wear had been meant for a different trip. For another man’s devouring gaze.
His stomach cramped at the thought of another male viewing her at all. Whether she was sexy in her navy two-piece suit or disheveled from a run in the rain, Doug wanted to be the only man who witnessed all the various facets of Juliette Stanton. Damn. Where the hell had these proprietary feelings come from and how did he get rid of them?
He glanced up just as she ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “My sister surprised me with this trip,” she admitted, “and with the wardrobe.”
Relief, pure and sweet, flooded his veins. In an indirect way, her clothing was meant for him alone. “Your sister sounds incredible.”
Juliette nodded. “She is special. We’re twins actually. What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”
He shook his head. “My parents couldn’t have kids, which is why they took me in so easily.” And though he’d be forever grateful, he’d often wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister. Someone close to his own age to look out for him when times were tough and slap him on the back when things were good. “Did you and your sister always get along?”
She nodded. “She’s my best friend. She gets me through the worst of times.”
Hearing her refer to her recent past and divulge facts he already knew, his stomach clenched again. How many times in the past had someone bared their soul and he’d devoured the information without reservation? If he’d had qualms, he’d justified them with the notion of just doing his job. So he thought he’d been, if not prepared, then at least aware of how he’d feel gaining information from Juliette.
But from the beginning, his dealings with Juliette had been different. Guilt had been his companion, one he didn’t recognize but had grown used to. And it made Doug feel sick.
He forced a grin. “So there are two of you.” He caught his choice of words and shook his head, needing to rephrase. “You may be twins but you’re too unique to be alike. Too special.” And that truth wasn’t forced.
“Thanks.” Gratitude filled her eyes and she finally met his gaze. “Gillian, my sister, she’s more outgoing, so much less reserved.” Her voice trailed off and Doug knew she’d just recalled their time in the storm. Her lashes fluttered, her stare shifted and a faint blush stained her cheeks.
“Hey.” He reached out and touched her chin, giving her no choice but to look him head-on. “What happened between us? It was supposed to give you good memories to replace the bad ones, not make you too embarrassed to be with me.”
Her flush deepened. “It’s just that…”
“Say it.” He pushed her, curious to hear what caused her discomfort and withdrawal.
She let out a breath of air. “It’s like I asked and you provided. And you got nothing in return.”
Did she really have no idea? He’d been so affected by her orgasm he’d nearly come just watching. He’d never reacted so strongly to a woman before, never cared so much about someone else’s pleasure, his own be damned.
And the one thing he knew without question was the feelings crowding inside him and begging for release weren’t going to be easily controlled. “That’s not the way I remember it.”
“You’re telling me it wasn’t one-sided?”
It was time for a revelation of his own. “We both have our fantasies, Juliette.” What had he said to Merrilee? I need to know I can put a woman before myself.
At the time it had been a line to get him in the door and pair him with Juliette, though admittedly the words had held some truth. But in kissing, caressing and giving to this woman, Doug had learned—not only that it was possible to put her first physically, but that he wanted to put her first emotionally as well.
She leaned forward, ready to listen.
And he was ready to tell her. He hadn’t expected to reveal his fantasy to Juliette, but she made him want to open up and share. “I recently hurt someone I cared about. I hurt her badly. From her perspective, I was using her and I suppose she wasn’t far from wrong. So now I want to prove I can put a woman’s needs before my own.”
Curious green eyes met his. “And will just any woman do?”
“No way.” He shook his head. “And no way are you just any woman. Not to me.”
S
he splayed her hands on her thigh, fingering the silken material. “But you can’t deny things were one-sided. And I have to know—was it because you were using me to prove a point?”
“No more than I assume you’re using me for reasons relating to your own fantasy.” He laughed. “You are a stubborn one. Technically, yes, it was one-sided. But…” He paused deliberately.
Long enough for her curiosity to win out and for her to glance up. “But what?”
Doug leaned forward until they were inches apart. “But…” He reached for her hand. “You’ve come to mean a lot to me in a very short time. And I enjoyed watching you. And I enjoyed listening to you. Did you know you make these little sounds? Sighs, gasps, moans of pleasure?”
Her pupils dilated. A flush spread from her neck up her cheeks. Her mouth opened in a small O then closed without making a sound. Heat flooded his system and he broke into a sweat. In reassuring her, he was arousing himself all over again.
It was probably his punishment and penance. To be so close to the woman he desired and know he had to keep his distance, for her sake as well as his own. Because to make his fantasy come true—to be able to look himself in the mirror and to see he could put a woman, this woman, before himself—he couldn’t go further. Couldn’t sleep with her. Even if doing so would fulfill a fantasy of another kind, his conscience and soul were at risk. And so was his heart.
But he forced himself to concentrate on her needs. “And those sounds?” He drew both himself and her back to the point at hand.
“Yes?” The word came out a barely audible gasp.
“They turn me on.”
Juliette swallowed hard. He was doing it again, she thought, dazedly. Soothing her. Easing one kind of distress while creating a new one of an entirely different sort. He was so obviously setting out to convince her that her pleasure had been his as well.
And he was convincing. Enough to relax her and loosen her inhibitions again. To remind her that as much as he needed to prove to himself he was a decent person and could put someone else’s needs first, she’d promised herself something as well—that she’d take this one week to break free and be herself. That she’d experiment, with no constraints, problems or reporters to hinder her inhibitions.
Secret Fantasy (NYT Bestselling Author) Page 8
