I drew a breath to sing. David loved my voice. With him, I was uninhibited and alive. He taught me songs, and we’d sing until kissing consumed our tune. I choked back a sob and pressed my lips together. I would sing no more.
When the weather cleared, I climbed to the old guard shack and sat on our bench. I tapped the wood and stared at the foothills. Jonathan had to help. He loved David as I did. He could come and go freely, and he knew his way around Israel. I shaded my eyes against the sun’s glare. Watchmen guarded every approach. I was foolish and silly to expect David to come back. The palace was a trap, and I was the bait.
* * *
The day Jonathan returned with his spies, I ran to the garden to meet him.
He held out his arms. “My sister, how good to see you.”
I kissed his jaw. “Have you news? How’s David?”
“I’ve spoken to him. He’s well. But he cannot come back.”
“Did he ask after me?”
Jonathan put an arm around my shoulder. “He wants me to watch over you.”
“Can I go to him? Will you bring me?”
“No, it’s too dangerous. Our father hunts him from one side of Israel to the other. He is ever in danger. He cannot rest.”
“Why is this happening? Why?”
Lowering his voice to a rasp, he said, “We’re under the curse of the LORD. Father failed to wipe out the Amalekites when God ordered him to. Samuel rebuked Father, and God tore the kingdom away from him. After that, Father started to hear voices and suffer headaches.”
A grinding pit tightened my stomach. “What shall we do?”
“You’ll need to be strong. Wait until David becomes the king.”
“How long will that be?” How could I possibly wait, lonely and childless?
“I don’t know. David has promised me he’ll do only good to me and my children. I’m sure he will come for you as soon as he can. But our father is a tough and determined adversary. He will stop at nothing until David’s head is on a stake.”
“He can’t!” I shuddered and covered my face. “I shall die.”
Jonathan hugged me. “Have faith. David will prevail. I’m sure of that. And when he does, we can all be happy again.”
I tried to focus on a sliver of hope. Father loved me. Did he not see how unhappy I was? I tapped Jonathan. “But will Father not relent? Didn’t he once love David as his own son?”
“Father cannot help himself,” he said. “He’s tormented by an evil spirit. But I will try again for your sake. Perhaps he will give David another chance.”
“Oh, thank you.” I squeezed his arm and hugged him.
He walked off, and I lowered my head to pray.
A footstep crunched on the gravel. I lifted my head with a start.
A powerfully built man stepped into the courtyard. He pierced me with a predatory stare and caught my arm. “I shall hunt him down, and after I’m through with you, I’ll kill him.”
I tried to shake him off. “Unhand me. Who are you?”
“I’m your next husband.” He tightened his grip and dug into my flesh. “You want to know a secret? I saw David with the priests of Nob, and we’re on our way to kill him.”
His rough laughter grated my ears and sent an icy spear through my heart. He shoved me aside and swaggered out the gate.
Fear knotted my stomach, and I tore into the palace. Father wished to make me a widow. I’d rather die than remarry. I bumped into Merab, who was visiting for the New Moon Feast.
“What’s wrong?” she said.
“I have to get away from here.” My hands fluttered in small circles. “Can you help me?”
She pushed a finger on my lip. “Calm down. Mother needs you.”
She took my hand and dragged me to Mother’s bedchamber. I stopped short and gasped. Broken plates and vase shards littered the floor. “What happened?”
“Your father tried to kill Jonathan,” Mother cried. “He blames me for everything.”
I gaped at Mother, then Merab, and back. “How can he do that? Jonathan is his heir.”
Mother grabbed my shoulders. Her face contorted as if in pain. “Your father is throwing me out.”
Heavy sobs choked her, and she couldn’t continue.
Merab patted her back and said to me, “Jonathan and Father had a fight about David and he’s putting your mother away to marry Rizpah.”
“But doesn’t Father love you?” I clung to my mother. “He can’t do this.”
“He’s the king. He can do whatever he wants.” Her shoulders heaved. “After all these years and all the children I bare him.”
“But where will you go?” I asked.
“She’s coming to live with me,” Merab said.
I hugged Mother. “May I go with you to Merab’s?”
“No, daughter,” she said. “Your father does not want to let you out of his control. As long as you are at the palace, David might try to come for you, and then he’ll be trapped.”
I stepped back. “Why do you all hate David so much? What has he done to you?”
Mother pinched my arm. “He wants your father’s throne. And he’s ruined your life. I cannot believe you still care for him. He threatened to kill you. He’s nothing but a criminal.”
“No, I lied. David loves me.”
Merab patted my shoulder. “After Father catches David, we’ll get you a real husband, someone who loves you.”
I threw myself against the wall. “You don’t understand. I love David.”
“Oh, dear sister. It doesn’t work that way. A woman is to reverence and serve a husband who loves her, not the other way around.” She patted me as if I were a spitting kitten.
I stomped away. I would rather have lived a single day with the man I loved than to be adored by dozens of men I cared nothing for. Oh, God. When will I see David again? How long will I have to wait?
A few days later, Adriel came with his wagon. I waved a tearful farewell to Mother and Merab. I spied Rizpah, my father’s main concubine, eyeing Mother’s bedchamber. She was the real reason for Mother’s banishment. No doubt she had bewitched Father. Milky white with long black hair, lustrous and smooth, she looked down her nose at me with a she-devil’s unearthly blue eyes while rubbing her pregnant belly.
I rued my flat stomach, empty inside, with nothing to tie my destiny to David’s except his promise. My bleak future washed over me like tears over a trail of snails.
* * *
David’s body was sticky with blood. Angry men lunged with spears. He sliced one, and another attacked him. Wild men, Amalekites intent on plunder, swooped in from the desert. David saw no soldiers, no one to defend the village.
The last attacker dispatched, David gazed in the sky at the cawing of the birds of prey. The dead lay strewn around him. Boys descended from the hills to collect the spoil. All the villagers were dead, and so were the Amalekites. It made no difference whose bodies they robbed. Beyond the scavengers, feral dogs loitered in packs, their tongues lolling.
He stepped over a trail of bodies to examine a farmhouse. A solitary cat darted out of the barn and leapt to the rafter above.
An iron mattock lay in a manger. His ears pricked. A sob rattled, followed by a snuffle. He unsheathed his sword.
Two quick steps brought him to the nearest haystack. He brushed the top with the side of his sword and uncovered a young woman, eyes wide with fear. She cowered and balled her fists in front of her face. David brushed the hay from her hair. Her eyes moistened and full lips trembled.
He reached for her hand. “Come, I won’t hurt you.”
“Stay away from me,” she cried.
“I’m an Israelite. You’re safe with me.” He carried her in his arms, his armor and tunic caked with dried blood. The mattock lay forgotten.
“What is your name?” he asked, observing her graceful curves, her long, straight hair, black as the night.
“Ahinoam.”
* * *
The commotion of a returning war p
arty startled me. The men’s wild whoops and cheers vibrated the palace walls. Even as I feared the news, I needed to know. I pulled on a cloak and went toward Father’s audience chamber and hid among the juniper bushes near the window.
“Doeg, you have proven yourself loyal by executing the men who disobeyed my orders concerning David.” My father’s voice sounded through the open window.
“Yes, my king. I, and only I, will return with the head of the son of Jesse.”
“You shall have your reward,” my father said. “Go, while we have him trapped.”
The man slapped his shoulder in salute and swiveled out the doorway. I stepped back, but not in time. Doeg caught my arm and leered with a bone-grinding smile. “Daughter of Saul, my prize.”
I jerked my arm, but he twisted it behind my back.
“We know where that dog is,” he said. “And it’s only a matter of time before we catch him.”
“Let me go. You’re my father’s servant. Keep your hands off me.”
He grabbed both my wrists and pushed me against the wall. “The king has promised you as wife to the man who brings him David’s head. And I, Doeg the Edomite, will be your next husband, and you shall bend in front of me like the bitch you are.”
His breath reeked of stale meat. My stomach turned, and my pulse clawed in my ears. Doeg had singlehandedly killed the priests of the LORD and slaughtered the entire city of Nob because they had aided David’s escape.
He forced his cruel mouth over mine, and I struggled and spit to elude him. When Father stepped out of his audience chamber, Doeg released me and bowed to him.
Father ignored me and puffed on his pipe. “My enemy is trapped at Maon, harassing a nobleman’s house. Catch him tomorrow.”
My knees wobbled. The chill of defeat sank through me. I stumbled back to my room, my nerves shrieking at a high pitch. Father would not protect me. I’d throw myself off the palace wall than let Doeg take me as his wife.
* * *
“My lord.” The young woman bowed her head and crouched. David squinted toward the entrance as her shadow closed in.
“Call me David.”
“Yes, my lord.” She handed him a platter with a few pieces of flatbread, a cluster of grapes and a water skin.
David leaned against the cool, damp wall inside the cavern and enjoyed a few moments of respite. Yesterday, they had been trapped, boxed in, surrounded by the king’s men. But before Saul’s men could launch the attack, a messenger had arrived with news of a Philistine invasion. The king’s troops retreated, leaving a few spies. David would have to move further into the wilderness toward the Salt Sea. It would be grueling journey through burning desert.
“Ahinoam, do you have family? Anywhere you can go?”
“No, my lord. Everyone is dead. Why do you ask?”
“Today we leave for the Salt Sea, a harsh and dry land. You sure you have nowhere to go?”
She shuddered. “I have no one. My betrothed is dead.”
“Are you a virgin?”
“Why would I not be? You haven’t touched me.”
David shifted his weight, his left leg numb on the cold cave floor. “I can find you a husband. My way is treacherous, and my life is forfeit. Hunted to be killed. It’s not safe to stay in my cave. Not after last night.”
She crept to his side. “Don’t make me leave.”
Her hands smoothed his tunic and raised the hair on the back of his neck. She kissed his beard, her lips soft and dewy. “I’ve not known a man, and I want it to be you.”
“There is nothing but suffering with me. Hunger, want, cold, fear. Let me take you to a village and find you a home. The king knows where we’re camping. He’ll be back as soon as he finishes with the Philistines.”
“I will suffer with you, my lord. Every step of the way.”
She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his lips. Her scent, like sweet oranges, stirred his loins with longing and despair. Jonathan said Michal was remarrying—no doubt waiting for the highest bidder. Their love, but a vapor, vanished in the wind.
“My lord, I’m yours, if you’ll have me,” the woman murmured. “I’ll never leave you.”
He fingered the back of her neck. He’d never give his heart to another woman. Pretty faces and beautiful words were but the gall of asps, the dust of death.
* * *
My prayers were answered. Father returned without David’s head. After a subdued banquet, Father called me to his bedchamber. Rizpah lounged, half-dressed on the bed, popping grapes into her mouth.
Father pulled me into his arms and patted my back. “Michal, you are getting on in years. Why pine away for a dog that has deserted you?”
I pulled away. “He hasn’t deserted me. You’re the one who’s keeping him from me.”
A smile congealed on his face. “You’re too naïve. Did you think he would come for you? I hate to tell you, but I spoke to him in the wilderness across a divide. He looked well, rugged, and hearty. He had women and children with him. Bunch of filthy vagabonds. I found the caves where they camped.”
Cold sweat dampened my face as he continued. “David has remarried, not once, but twice. One of them is a widow of a man of wealth, a Nabal of Carmel, a loyal subject of mine. With his grave still warm, David made off with his wife.”
I shook my head so hard my teeth chattered. “No. No. David wouldn’t do this. He promised he would come back for me.”
“Oh, Michal,” Father drawled. “He’s been gone two years already.”
“But… he asked me to wait. I don’t believe it. You hate him.”
Rizpah snickered loudly. “It’s not like some big secret. Jonathan knew, but your father did not want to tell you until he had confirmed it. Besides, men get as many wives as they can afford, and I suppose your David has become quite a warlord.”
I crumpled to the floor. This couldn’t be true. David had promised me so earnestly. Oh, David! I pounded my head against the tiles and wailed. Father placed me on his lap like he used to when I woke from a nightmare. “I should not have let that dog hurt you. I’ll find you another husband. Do not despair.”
My heart burst like an old wineskin and bled into my gut. I wept, giant gulps, choking, screaming, dying on his shoulders. How could David forsake me? Didn’t he love me?
God, kill me now. Let me melt away like an untimely birth, never to feel the sun on my face, never to taste a drop of sweet milk, never to rock in my mother’s arms. Let my mouth be filled with thorns and break my teeth, O LORD, for You have hated me and ripped me like filthy rags and cracked my heart, a broken leaf blown into a firepot.
Rizpah scraped her fingers across my back. “Michal, daughter, we’re here for you.” Her voice slurred like syrup in the frost. “Let your father find you a worthy husband—someone loyal to him.”
I wrung my fingers over my swollen eyes. “I still want David, even if he doesn’t want me.”
They both clucked and shushed as if I were a stubborn child.
“David has forsaken you,” Rizpah crooned. “You’ll need to remarry.”
“I have a man for you,” Father said. “Doeg.”
I panicked. “No! Please, not a bloody man. Somebody peaceful and nice. Not a warrior.”
Father kissed my forehead. “Not a warrior, not someone like David.”
Chapter 9
Song of Solomon 5:6 I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer
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“Your father asked Jonathan to find you a husband.” Rizpah ran a comb through my hair.
My father could be lying. Hadn’t he lied to David and told him I refused to marry him? How could David take other wives when he still loved me? There had to be a misunderstanding.
“I’m not remarrying.” I crossed my arms. “Did my father actually see David’s wives? Or were they maid servants?”
Rizpah clicked her
tongue. “If he cared about you, wouldn’t he have sent a message?”
I lowered my head and allowed Rizpah to rub lotus oil into my hair. Jonathan had met David several times without Father’s knowledge. Never once did he bring a message. And the replies he gave to my questions were vague.
“I still don’t want to remarry.” I jutted out my lower lip and clenched my teeth. “I’ll wait for David to look in my face and explain.”
Rizpah eyed me in the bronze mirror. “Better to marry than to remain vulnerable. Doeg has asked for your hand. Let’s hope Jonathan finds you a peaceful man, one who won’t hurt you.”
I shuddered as a cold spear pierced my insides. I’d fall off the wall before I let Doeg touch me.
A few weeks later, Jonathan returned to the palace with a young man. Square-shouldered and tall, he stood level with my father and brother. His large, soulful eyes lighted on me, and my heart tugged, despite my reluctance.
Rizpah fanned herself and pinched me. “I wish your brother was my matchmaker.”
I shuffled and looked down, feeling guilty. Why couldn’t David be with me? Why had Father driven him away? I coughed as if a piece of dry bread had lodged in my throat.
Jonathan brought the man over. “Rizpah, Michal. This is Phalti, son of Laish, a scribe.”
Rizpah blushed and simpered. “How nice to meet you. My daughter, step-daughter, for I’m not old enough to… well, Michal…” She nudged me.
Large dark-brown eyes regarded me under a cascade of wavy brown hair. An aquiline nose sloped straight down his smooth forehead. He smiled and took my hand and brought it to his lips. “Princess, I’m honored to meet you.”
A rush of warmth ambushed me. Phalti held my hand gently, and perversely, I did not want him to let go. He wore a tender expression, humble and kind. I tightened my lips in a polite smile and jerked my hand away, wiping it on my skirt.
“Princess, I understand your predicament.” He lowered his voice and guided me away from Rizpah’s side.
“I am a married woman, yes.”
“Jonathan and Elihu have told me your situation, and I agreed to respect your wishes.” He locked my gaze, eyes deep and warm.
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