He wanted to tear down that control.
“Why are you sitting alone? I’m surprised no one’s asked you to dance.” He shook his head. “Men these days. What’s wrong with them?”
She tipped her head to the side and smiled at him. “Nick tells me you’re very good at flattery.”
“I’m very good at being honest.”
“There you go again.”
“You really do look lovely tonight.”
“Thank you.”
Emily’s blonde hair was pulled back, but she had curled a few locks, and they fell softly at the sides of her face. When she moved her head, they bounced a little. It was mesmerizing.
AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” blasted through the speakers. They’d played this all the time at the bar back in university. Jay stood up and held out his hands, shook his hips a little. This song described exactly what he wanted to do with Emily. But dancing with her would have to be enough.
“Come on,” he said.
“I don’t dance. That’s the real reason I’m sitting here alone.”
He looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out whether she was the sort who would secretly like being dragged onto the dance floor, or whether she would be mortified and stand there awkwardly.
He suspected the latter.
“The next slow song?” he asked.
“Okay. I can do that.”
He went up to the DJ, requested a song, then came back and sat beside her. “He’ll play one soon.”
Emily touched one of her curls. Her nails were red and matched her dress; he couldn’t see her toenails, but he suspected they were the same color.
Her lips were red, too. He wanted to kiss them.
“It was a gorgeous day for the wedding,” she said. “They were calling for rain, but luckily it held off.”
“Yes. It was a lovely wedding. Diana did a great job planning everything.”
“You’re not going to give Nick any credit?”
“I’m giving him credit for showing up on time.”
“But they live together, and they came together. So really, that was all Diana.” She paused. “Actually, without Diana, Nick would have probably shown up two hours early. I bet she had to hold him off.”
Jay chuckled. Emily was right.
“It all went perfectly.” Her smile was a little dreamy. Not what he was used to seeing on Nick’s practical and independent older sister.
But then again, he hadn’t seen her in a while.
“Are you still at the same job?” he asked.
Emily had two degrees in physics. Last he heard, she was working in finance at one of the big banks on Bay Street. He’d always known she’d go far in life.
She had a sip of wine then nodded.
“Do you like it?” he asked. “I remember you wanting to be a physics professor.”
“That was a long time ago. When I was a grad student, I realized what life in academia was really like, so I left with a master’s instead of a PhD. That world—it wasn’t for me. What about you? What are you working on now?”
“Another condo.”
He and Nick had both gone to Waterloo to study engineering. Jay was now a construction supervisor, which was better than sitting behind a desk all day.
“Well,” she said. “That’s good.”
They had a rather bizarre history. They’d known each other for so long, and yet they didn’t really know each other all that well.
He wished he knew her physically.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
She turned her chair to the side and stretched out one of her legs. He looked down at her peep-toe shoes and saw a flash of red nail polish. Imagined what it would be like to have those legs wound around him.
He exhaled slowly and looked back to her face. She was gorgeous, and the dimming light made her seem a touch mysterious.
If she were anyone else, he would go for it. He would make her laugh, casually touch her and see how she responded.
But Nick was his closest friend. He would not screw up their friendship over this, and he doubted Emily wanted a night with him anyway.
When “Lady in Red” started playing, he stood up and held out a hand once more.
This time she took it.
****
Emily’s reaction to Jay was totally different from the last time she’d seen him. She didn’t know when it had happened, but Jay Cheng had become a very handsome man.
She didn’t think it was just the clothes, though that was probably part of it. She’d never seen him dressed up before. He was wearing a white shirt with a black vest and tie, having shed his jacket a long time ago.
She knew he didn’t mean anything by asking her to dance. He was the sort of man who liked to casually flirt with women just because he could—at least that had been her impression today and the last few times she’d seen him.
But she wished he meant something by it. Wished that when he’d said she was the most beautiful woman in the room, it had sounded sincere rather than being a throwaway line.
“My lady,” he said playfully, and bent to kiss her hand.
The warmth of the meaningless kiss shocked her. She couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel if he kissed her mouth.
It had been a long time since she’d had a proper kiss.
Liz would tell her to go for it. But there was no way Emily could muster the courage to do that, especially when their families were here.
So she simply let him lead her to the dance floor. Jay kept one of her hands in his, and he put his other hand on her waist. She slid her hand around his neck, and they smiled at each other.
“Are you getting any ‘you’re next’ comments?” he asked.
She nodded. “Even though I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, my aunt and my stepmother have certainly made comments.”
They weren’t doing much in the way of dancing. Just shuffling from side to side. But their bodies were close, only a couple of inches separating them, and she could feel the heat of him. She wanted to run her hand through his black hair, which was a touch longer than it should be and had a slight wave. It made him seem disreputable, but underneath everything, she knew he was a good person.
She suddenly wondered what he looked like when he was damp with sweat and wearing a white T-shirt rather than a tux.
Hell, why was she thinking about him in a T-shirt? Shirtless—that would be even better. She dipped her eyes to his chest.
“Nick’s never mentioned you having a boyfriend,” he said.
“That’s because he hasn’t met any of them. But I’ve had boyfriends.” She sounded a touch defensive, but that was silly. “Though none have lasted terribly long.”
Jay smelled nice. A hint of cologne. But what would he smell like when he was on top of her, sweating and…
Okay, she seemed to be obsessed with the idea of him sweating. What was wrong with her? He could also be wet because he was climbing out of a pool or…
She shook her head.
“You know,” he said, “you’re making my childhood dream come true right now. I had such a crush on you when we were young.”
His admission startled her, but she quickly composed herself.
“Was this before or after I yelled at you for being a tattletale?” she asked.
“Both. Though I liked you a tiny bit less.” He held his thumb and forefinger a quarter of an inch apart, then returned his hand to her waist. “You were really upset about that.”
“I was afraid I would lose everything.” Emily had only been thirteen. She’d had such a burden on her and no idea what to do. “But it worked out in the end.” She glanced at her father, who was chatting with her aunt. And then, because this was getting too serious, she said, “I can’t believe you had a crush on me.”
“It was like having a crush on your babysitter.”
This made her laugh.
“You were always baking,” he said. “There were lots of cookies and b
rownies and cupcakes at your house.”
“So you liked me for my food. Very deep.”
“I thought you were pretty. And grown up.”
“Did you tell Nick?”
“God, no. Even then I knew it wasn’t the kind of thing that ought to be mentioned.”
They were talking about the long-ago past. Everything was different now.
He was a man. Not a boy.
Once, he’d barely come up to her shoulder. Now, he was taller than her. But he’d never lost those dimples he’d had as a child.
And because it was Nick’s wedding, and she was happy and a little tipsy…
She slid her hand up Jay’s neck so her fingertips brushed his hair, and she bent her head so their foreheads were almost touching.
They swayed in silence for a long time, and he didn’t move farther away from her.
The song faded out. She was about to step back, but another slow song was next. James Blunt. “You’re Beautiful.”
“This song is for you, too,” he murmured.
It didn’t seem like the right song for tonight, about a love you couldn’t have. A wedding was all about the love you did have.
She swayed as they moved across the floor, and his thumb stroked over her hip. Such a small movement, but that’s what convinced her.
He still wanted her.
Her breath started to come hard and fast, despite the lack of physical exertion that slow dancing required. She yearned for more than this. A long, wicked night in his bed. What would it feel like, as he pushed inside and rocked against her body?
His hand left hers. He brought it up and rubbed her cheek with his knuckle.
“Jay,” she whispered.
“You know it can’t happen.” He spoke quietly, and his acknowledgement of what was between them—that thrilled her.
“I know.”
The air was heavy, filled with the dying notes of the song.
“I’m the best man. I’m supposed to hook up with the maid of honor, not the groom’s sister.” Now he was back to being playful.
It disappointed her.
After the song ended, she fled to the washroom. She closed the door to a stall and leaned back against it, one hand on her forehead. Recovering.
****
She was aware of Jay’s presence for the rest of the night. No matter who she was talking to, she was always conscious of where he was in the room, what he was doing.
Most of the time he was on the dance floor. Diana’s aunts and cousins and friends all seemed delighted to dance with him, but she never saw him go to the DJ and request a song, as he had done for her.
Still, she was envious of those women. And she was also envious of him. He danced so freely, and he looked like he was having a great time.
Diana and her sister, the maid of honor, pulled Emily onto the dance floor once, but she didn’t dance with another guy.
She was trying—unsuccessfully—to keep her eyes off Jay when her father came up and put his hand on her shoulder. She leaned against him.
“I worried none of you would want to get married,” he said. “After…what happened. I’m glad I was wrong. But what about you, Emily? How come you’ve never brought anyone home?”
It was a wedding. They were supposed to think about happy things.
But a major life event—she supposed that couldn’t help but bring to mind other important events in their past. Jay had reminded her of the past, and now her father was, too.
“Don’t worry about me,” she said. “I’m fine. I’ll bring someone home eventually. When I find the right person.”
She’d never told her dad about the year of therapy she’d gotten because of her fear of getting close to people, of trusting others. And her fear of heartbreak.
Because one of the people who was supposed to be there for her, no matter what, had left.
And the other had faded out of her life, leaving her in charge of the household.
Her father was fine now, but he felt horribly guilty about those two lost years. Ten years ago, he’d married Maria, who had two daughters from her first marriage. Taylor and Kayla were now in university, but at the time, they’d been about the age that Emily had been when her parents got divorced.
It was like he wanted to do everything over again and get it right this time.
And he’d been a wonderful stepfather to two girls who had about as much contact with their birth father as Emily had with her own mother. He and his second wife seemed happy together.
But there were scars, and Emily didn’t want her father to know how deep her scars went.
Though she was better now. The idea of a relationship no longer made her panic.
“I should talk to Jay’s parents,” she said to her father.
“It’s been a while since you’ve seen them, hasn’t it?”
“Probably five years.”
At one point his parents had been an important part of their lives. After Jay had done what she’d instructed him to never, ever do.
Emily walked across the room, searching for his parents, hoping they hadn’t left yet. Jay was dancing with Diana’s sister.
I’m supposed to hook up with the maid of honor.
She didn’t think he intended to do that.
Still, she was jealous.
****
An hour later, Emily watched Jay finally leave the dance floor and head out the back door to the balcony.
A minute later, she followed him.
His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his forearms resting on the railing as he looked out at the dark golf course. There was a casual elegance about him.
It was just the two of them. Surprising, since it was such a lovely night, that no one else was outside.
“I take it you’re here because your parents are dancing to ‘SexyBack,’” she said.
He nodded, not turning his head toward her. “If my parents just swayed in the corner, I wouldn’t mind, but they’re displaying a shocking amount of enthusiasm for Justin Timberlake. It’s a horror show. They love embarrassing me and Chelsea.”
Emily smiled and leaned forward on the railing next to him.
“But that’s not the only reason I’m out here,” he said.
They looked at each other at the same time. Her skin heated and prickled under his gaze. Uncomfortable, but also exhilarating. She wanted to hold on to this unfamiliar sensation.
“What’s the other reason?” she asked softly.
“I think you know, Em.”
Only her brothers called her that. And Jay, apparently. She’d known him for a long, long time.
But not like this.
“I’m keeping myself away from what I can’t have,” he said.
Her breath caught. She couldn’t deny that it was thrilling to see a man tortured over her. She didn’t think it had ever happened before.
Emily covered his hand with hers. For her, that was a bold mood.
“Don’t,” he said.
But his protest was feeble, and he didn’t move away.
Awareness thrummed through her body as the quiet of the golf course spread out before them and music seeped through the doors behind them. “SexyBack” was over. Now it was a hip-hop song she didn’t know.
She’d told Liz that she didn’t want a hook-up.
But for the first time, she wanted—desperately—to have a one-night stand. She ached to be as close to Jay as possible, to run her fingers over his skin and feel his breath on her neck. To feel him at her entrance. She ached to be consumed by the physical act, when he pushed inside and filled her.
“You can have me,” she whispered.
Please, please have me.
He jerked his head. “You’re Nick’s sister.”
“We’re adults who want the same thing. He doesn’t have to know.”
“I won’t be able to look him in the eye after I’ve fucked his sister.”
Emily breathed in sharply. She wondered if his language was supposed to pu
t her off. But it had done the opposite.
“Christ,” he muttered.
His hands gripped the railing, and he didn’t say anything more.
She shouldn’t keep pushing. She’d made herself clear, and now she was starting to feel embarrassed about that.
“Okay.” She forced herself to smile. “We don’t need to speak of it again.”
“Why do you want this? It isn’t like you.”
You hardly know who I’ve become.
But he was right.
Emily was a numbers girl who liked to solve problems and think things through. This primal desire that had sunk into her skin tonight and came to life whenever he was near—this wasn’t like her at all. But she couldn’t help it.
And it would be different than a regular one-night stand, different than it would be with a man she’d just met at a bar or a party. It would be with someone she knew and trusted.
“I’ve never done this before,” she said. “I didn’t get to be young and carefree and…well…I thought it would be fun. With you. That’s all.”
She turned away, but he wrapped his hand around her upper arm before she could head inside.
“Midnight,” he said, his voice low. “That’s when it ends. We’ll take a cab together, and I’ll say I’m making sure you get home safely. I doubt anyone will be suspicious.”
Oh.
Her heart beat frantically. This was going to happen.
His fingers dug into her skin. “One night. Nothing more. One very long night. If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it right.”
“Yes.” Her voice sounded strange and breathy.
“All right.” He released her. “I’m going to head back in and hope my parents have gotten off the dance floor.”
Emily stayed outside for a few more minutes, all alone, waiting for midnight like she was in a fairy tale.
But this was no fairy tale.
It was just sex.
Chapter Three
Apparently it was Jay’s turn for the “you’re next” comments.
His parents were off the dance floor, but now they were talking about his wedding.
“Would you have a Chinese banquet?” his mother asked.
He’d been to many of those with his family over the years, and he’d always liked them. Lots of courses, lots of food. But…
His Best Friend's Older Sister Page 2
