by Nina Levine
I heard the rumble of a bike, and turned to see J pulling in. He parked his bike and walked towards me, a grim look on his face. “Babe, what are you doing out here by yourself?” he asked, coming to a stop just in front of me, but making no move to kiss me hello.
I slid off the car to put myself closer to him, and put my hand on his chest; our bodies almost touching. “I’ve been thinking about stuff. About you.”
He frowned, “What stuff?”
I took in the way his body tensed up and the irritation that flitted across his face, and knew that this was a conversation he did not want to be having, but I was determined to push him on this. “J, I want to know about things going on in your life. I hate that you won’t talk to me about your work.”
Pulling away from me, he was visibly annoyed now. “Madison, I thought we had agreed not to do this.” There was a warning tone to his voice that I didn’t like.
“We had, but I’m asking you to talk to me about this stuff.”
“Do you trust me? Trust that anything I do is done for a good reason?”
Shit, now he had me. “I do, but - ”
He cut me off, “Either you do, or you don’t, babe.”
“Okay, I do.”
He nodded. “Right, so you need to trust me on this one,” he said, like it was a black and white choice, when it was so far from that for me.
We stood, eyeing each other while I weighed what he had said. Finally, I agreed, “All right, I will.”
“Good,” he muttered, and pulled me to him, wrapping me in his arms. He laid a kiss on the top of my head, and then said, “I love you. Love what you do for me.”
“I love you, too.” And I did. But fuck this was hard; fighting against all my instincts to need to know what he was doing. I just hoped that over time it would get easier, and that we would find a happy middle ground where he would share some things and I would be able to let some things go.
“What time is Serena arriving?” he asked, letting me go and reaching in his jacket for a cigarette.
“I thought she would have been here by now,” I replied.
Lighting his smoke, he suggested, “Why don’t you give her a call while I go in and see Scott. But, I don’t want you out here by yourself so come inside to do it.”
I furrowed my brow. “Why?”
He shook his head, mild frustration crossing his face again. “Just do what I say for once, please.”
I threw up my arms, “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Fine!” I snapped, and started walking towards the clubhouse. I could hear him muttering something under his breath about women and death as he followed me in.
***
I hung up from Serena, disappointed. One of the girls she worked with had been in a car accident and was stuck in hospital, which meant that Serena had to cover all of her shifts. This meant that I wouldn’t get to see her anytime soon and that sucked. I had been looking forward to girly time this weekend, especially some deep and meaningfuls about my relationship with J. Serena had a way of helping me see situations from a different angle, and I felt like I really needed her insights at the moment.
“What’s got you all sad, sweet thing?”
I looked up to see Nash settling onto the stool next to me. We were sitting at the club bar which was starting to fill up. Friday nights were usually busy here. I smiled at him and answered, “My best friend was supposed to be visiting for the weekend, but can’t come now.”
“Ah, I see. You wanna hang out with me instead?” he winked at me, “There’s cock in it for you if you want.”
I shoved him hard enough that he had to balance himself to stay on the stool, but we were both laughing while I did it. “Oh my god! You never stop, do you?” I said.
“What can I say... you inspire me,” he grinned.
“Tell me, Nash, why don’t you have a girlfriend? You’re a good looking guy and you’re fun, and I’ve seen the way the ladies are all over you.”
He shrugged, “I don’t need the hassle that would bring, sweetheart. Not when all I want is a bit of pussy, and like you said, that’s easy enough to get whenever I want it.”
“How old are you, Nash?”
“Thirty-five. Why?”
“Do you want kids? Maybe a wife one day?”
“Fuck, no!” he was emphatic.
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “Really?”
“The world’s got enough fucked up people in it. I don’t need to add to that, and as far as a wife goes, I don’t want to be tied down to anything or anyone,” he answered me, the joking tone of the conversation replaced with total seriousness.
I cocked my head, “But you are tied to Storm, aren’t you?”
“Sure am, and that’s the only family I’ll ever be tied to,” he said, with absolute certainty.
I didn’t get his decision, but there was no point pursuing it because who was I to tell him what to want, so I simply said, “Fair enough. It’s your life.”
He flashed his cheeky grin at me again, all seriousness gone. “You and J talking babies yet?”
I whacked him again. “God, no!”
He pretended to shield himself from me. “Settle down, darlin’, I’m just teasing you.”
Of course it was at this point, when Nash and I were mucking about and smacking each other that J should walk into the room. I saw him stalking towards us. I took in the shitty look on his face, and instantly pulled away from Nash. It was an instinctual move; probably the right one given J’s current mood.
“Nash,” he growled when he got to us, “Keep your fucking hands off Madison.”
Nash stood up and stepped into J’s space so they were head to head. His grin and laughing eyes had been replaced with a menacing glare as he said, “I didn’t have my fuckin’ hands on her.”
Oh, god. That was my cue to leave these two alone. “I’ll be back soon,” I said, but neither of them really acknowledged me. Shaking my head I walked in the direction of the ladies room, hoping that they had sorted their issues out by the time I came back.
***
When I returned ten minutes later, Nash was gone, and J was downing a beer. He didn’t drink often so he must have had a bad day. As I reached him, I settled my hand on his lower back and asked, “Did you rip his head off?”
He turned to me, annoyance in his eyes, “I don’t like the way he flirts with you.”
“He’s harmless and he knows where I stand.”
“Well, I don’t think he’ll bother you again. I’ve sorted that out now,” he grunted.
“Mmm, I’m sure you have,” I mused.
“Did you get hold of Serena?” he changed the subject which was probably a good idea. I think we were in unsafe territory talking about Nash.
“Yeah, she’s not coming. She can’t get out of work.”
“Sorry, babe. Looks like you’re stuck with me for the weekend,” he said, a wicked look crossing his face. “Can’t be a bad thing. I’m sure we’ll think of things to pass the time.”
I moved closer to him and moved my hand down to his ass. “Promise?” I asked.
He leant towards me, and brushed my lips with his, grinning at me afterwards, “Absolutely. Now, let’s get you home. I need to get inside you.”
Chapter 20
Madison
I rolled off J, and laid on my back, arms sprawled and huge grin plastered on my face. “Fuck, anytime you want to do that again, just let me know.”
He shifted onto his side so that he was facing me and smiled, “I want to do that to you all the fucking time, baby.”
I eyed him, “Well, you’ll have to wait for a bit because we have shopping to do this morning.”
He shook his head and looked pained. “You might have shopping to do, babe, but I sure as shit don’t.”
“Yes, you do. You’re coming with me, to help me find new clothes,” I informed him.
It was Saturday morning, and we had enjoyed a lazy sleep in and fantastic wake up sex, and now, J had to man up and come shoppin
g with me.
“I think you can find clothes all by yourself,” he muttered, as he got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.
Just before he closed the door, I yelled out, “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll get some really short dresses and tight skirts.”
He didn’t reply but five minutes later when he emerged, he muttered, “Get up, babe. We’ve got shopping to do.”
I smiled to myself. He was so easy to manipulate sometimes.
We got ready and were out the door an hour later, J grumbling that it had taken me so long to get ready. “I’m not sure why it takes you so long, babe.”
I pointed at my face and my hair. “Do you think women just wake up looking this good?” I asked him.
“You looked good to me an hour ago, before you put all that shit on your face,” he said, opening the car door for me and helping me in.
I smiled at him as he shut the door, and waited for him to come around the car and get in, before saying, “Sometimes you say the sweetest things.”
“So, how long does shopping take? Tell me it’s quick,” he almost begged.
I laughed. “You’ll be home for dinner,” I promised, with a teasing wink.
He rolled his eyes and muttered, “Fuck.”
Three hours later, I had purchased an entire new wardrobe, and J had reached the end of his patience. I was surprised and impressed that he had lasted this long. The morning had started out fun with him enjoying some private little shows as I tried on numerous outfits. This had almost ended in us screwing in one of the dressing rooms, but the sales assistant had put a stop to that and asked us to leave. J hadn’t been impressed with her and had told her exactly what he thought of her, and her uptight pussy. She had threatened to call the police so I dragged him out of there before the situation got completely out of hand.
We had visited a stack of stores in between then and now, and J was insistent that this was the last one. I had just tried on a dress that I knew I had to have, and J was leaning against the changing room door watching me. Stepping out of the dress, I handed it to him and said, “This one’s a definite.”
He took it and eyed my body, clad only in bra and knickers. “Babe, that’s the last one. You’re driving me crazy here. Three hours of watching you get in and out of dresses, and my dick is having a fit.” He stepped closer to me and wrapped his hands around my ass, pulling me into him so that I could feel his erection. Dipping his head, he stole my mouth in a kiss. Hard and passionate, the kiss hit me in my core and I moaned with pleasure. He deepened the kiss, and reached one hand into my knickers to touch my clit, slowly circling it. “You want me to fuck you with my finger or my dick?” his voice was low and rough.
“What do you think, baby?” I responded. As if there was any choice between the two.
He chuckled. “Thought so.” Continuing to massage my clit, he backed me up against the wall, while I undid his jeans and pulled his cock free. I stroked it, circling the tip every couple of strokes. He groaned into my mouth, “Christ, babe. Really need in you now. This isn’t gonna take long, not after you’ve been working me up all morning.”
I lifted one leg to wrap around his waist and he pulled the other leg up. His cock sat at my entrance and, unable to wait any longer, I pushed myself against him so that he entered me. I was so wet for him and he slid straight in, filling me, and setting off a wave of pleasure from my pussy out.
J grunted as he pulled back out, and then thrust in hard, his balls slapping me. He set the pace with his hard and fast thrusts, and, knowing my tendency to scream, he lent his elbow against the wall to steady himself while he covered my mouth with his hand. It was a blur of bodies slapping together, eyes meeting in between thrusts, and intense pleasure shooting through my body. J hadn’t been kidding when he said it wouldn’t last long; not even ten minutes later and he came, with me not far behind.
He leaned against me for a moment, and then pulled out and let me down. “That’s what you get for teasing me for three fucking hours,” he smirked, as he tucked his cock back into his jeans and did himself up.
“I might bring you shopping more often, baby,” I winked at him and got dressed.
Grabbing the dress I wanted to buy, J opened the door and we headed out to the sales counter to make our purchase. It was a busy Saturday morning in the shop, and from the looks we were getting, I was pretty sure everyone had heard us screwing. I just grinned at them, not giving a shit what anyone thought. The sales assistant was fawning all over J as he paid for my dress. He hadn’t let me pay for anything today, and after arguing with him for the first two hours, I had given up now and just let him pay. Honestly, sometimes it was just easier not to argue with the man.
J finished up the transaction while I did my best to ignore the flirting that the sales assistant was doing. It really pissed me off though, because she could see we were together, that he was buying me a dress and had most likely heard us having sex. So, why the fuck did she think it was okay to openly flirt with him in front of me?
I checked her name badge. Kate. Yeah, that figured. The only Kate’s I knew were sluts, and this one wasn’t any different.
“Fucking bitch,” I grumbled under my breath, and J stopped what he was doing to turn and look at me.
He obviously hadn’t heard what I said because he lent down and whispered in my ear, “What did you say, baby?”
As he pulled away to wait for my answer, I muttered, louder this time, “I said, fucking bitch.”
He grinned at me, realising what I was getting at, and came back towards me, capturing my mouth in a passionate kiss. When he was finished, he said, “God, I love you.”
I grinned back at him, “I love you too.” And then I took in Kate’s face. I noted the displeasure written across it. Yeah, take that bitch!
J convinced me to go on a bike ride with him that afternoon. I figured it was only fair, after he spent all morning shopping with me. Being on the back of his bike was something I enjoyed anyway, and it was a beautiful sunny day so I enjoyed the afternoon with him. We rode for about three hours, heading out along the coastline. He bought us burgers and chips for lunch, and we sat on the beach and ate. I loved this quiet time with J, away from everyone else. Being back together meant that we had to figure each other out again. We had picked up almost like we had never been apart; we knew each other so well that it had been easy to do. However, as much as we knew each other, we had been apart for over two years and had both grown and changed a little, so I craved some time with him to discover these things about each other.
We arrived back home around five o’clock. Storm clouds had rolled in, and the wind had picked up. Our plans for the night had been to go out for dinner and a movie, but with this change in the weather we decided to order in and watch a movie at home. J had some calls to return before dinner so I jumped in the shower while he did that.
As I walked into the living room after my shower, I realised we had company. Scott was sitting with J on the couch, their heads together while they talked quietly. They stopped talking when they realised I had entered the room.
“Babe, I need to go out for awhile. There’s been some trouble at Indigo that we need to sort out,” J said.
Indigo was one of the strip clubs that Storm owned, so I could only imagine the kind of trouble they had to go and sort out. I sighed. “Okay,” I agreed, disappointed that our evening had been wrecked.
They both stood and Scott headed outside, answering his ringing phone as he went. J came to me, and held my face with both his hands. He looked genuinely sorry, so I decided to cut him some slack. “I’m sorry. I’ll try and hurry things along so I can get back here soon,” he promised, as he laid a quick kiss on my forehead.
And then he was gone. And I was alone on a Saturday night.
Chapter 21
Madison
J and I settled into a routine over the next couple of months. He dropped me off at work and picked me up when I was finished each day, while he took care of
Storm business. Some days we also managed to get lunch together. Our nights were filled with time together, rebuilding our relationship. Some nights he got called out for club business, but thankfully, those nights weren’t too often.
It was the weekends that I lived for. J was around for most of them, and along with spending time with our family and friends, we devoted a lot of time to just the two of us. When he said he would do the work to make our relationship work, he had been telling the truth, and I was the happiest I had ever been.
I was also trying hard to be a better girlfriend. This was hard sometimes, because J still refused to tell me much about club business. And it still pissed me off. Mostly though, I managed to keep my mouth shut and not argue with him about it. I was still hopeful that over time, he would come around.
Crystal was doing okay. J and I spent a lot of time with her and Brooke, and I was surprised at how well we were all getting along. We helped Brooke out, often looking after Crystal so that she could have some time to herself. I think we were all still in shock that Bec was gone, and navigating our way through the grief tied us all together.
It was a Tuesday afternoon, about two months after I returned to Brisbane, that my bubble burst. I was at work, at O’s, the little boutique dress shop that I loved coming to every day, when another fucking blast from my past waltzed in and blew shit all over my life.
“Mandy.” I sucked in a breath, and fear sliced through me. The crazy look in her eyes scared the shit out of me, and my hand automatically reached for the phone to ring J.
As far as I knew, Mandy had disappeared and the club no longer considered her a threat. How fucking wrong they had been about that.
“Don’t!” she screamed. I dropped my hand. My heart rate picked up, and my legs felt shaky. The room began to close in on me as I waited for her next move.
She stalked to where I was, not stopping until she was in my personal space. Her nostrils flared and I could see the veins popping in her neck. She jabbed a finger at my chest, and the force of it made me momentarily lose my balance. “Nix’s death is fucking on you, bitch! The day he met you, his death warrant was signed, and I’m going to FUCKING make you pay!” She screeched her warning.
