by Nicole Casey
“Let me do that,” she offered but I shook my head, dropping the pan into the preheated oven.
“It’s already done,” I replied gruffly. “And you really should be resting up. If you were out in the cold for that many hours, you might end up getting very sick. Stay by the fire and I’ll make you a coffee.”
A tea would have been better in that situation but I wasn’t one to drink tea and I certainly didn’t entertain enough to have some kicking around.
I would have to go back to Cedar City in the morning and pick up some more supplies if Eloise was going to stay anyway. I would get some tea for her then.
The notion filled me with surprise.
Who said she was going to stay? And even if she was, how many more things would I need for a day or two?
A day or two…a day or two…a day or two…
The words echoed, rolling around in my head as if I was mocking myself.
“It’s the least I can do,” she insisted but she was no match for my stubbornness.
“No,” I replied. “Go lay down. If you’re not going to allow me to take you to the hospital, I can’t really afford to have you fall sick, can I?”
She stared at me for a long minute and oddly, I felt a squeeze in my chest as I returned her stare.
I felt like she was looking into my soul.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” I asked, my tone sharper than I had intended.
Instantly, she looked at the ground and shook her head.
“I just realized that I don’t know your name,” she replied quietly and I was embarrassed for being so gruff with her.
“Harding,” I replied quickly. “Harding Jackson.”
Her blonde head whipped up and she stared at me.
“Jackson,” she mumbled. “You…have family in these parts.”
I shook my head, steering her back into the living room by the elbow.
“No,” I answered. “I am the last one. My parents died recently.”
It wasn’t recently. It was two years ago, I reminded myself but I was more consumed with the fact I had offered her such an insight into my life.
There I went again, providing her too much information.
I just couldn’t seem to help myself for some reason.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed and I could hear the sympathy in her tone. It made me bristle. I didn’t want her sympathy. I didn’t want her to know anything about me.
My defensiveness kicked in like a guard mechanism.
“Why don’t you tell me what you want from me, Eloise?” I said, guiding her to the couch. I stood towering over her, daggers in my green eyes.
She seemed taken aback by the question.
“I- I don’t want anything from you,” she assured me quickly.
“You must want something,” I retorted, crossing my arms over my barrel chest. “You’re here, aren’t you?”
Her face grew crestfallen but I could see her struggle to maintain some semblance of dignity.
“I can leave,” she said but there was virtually no confidence in her voice.
“I didn’t ask you to leave, drama queen,” I replied shortly. “I am just asking you what you hope to accomplish with all this. You have your family looking for you. It’s only a matter of time before they find you. Obviously, you have no plan or you wouldn’t be here. What are you hoping to achieve?”
She was silent for a long moment and I wondered if she knew what she wanted.
The longer she was quiet, the more I understood that she hadn’t thought past leaving whatever it was she had left behind.
What are you running from, Eloise?
Finally, she looked up at me and sighed deeply.
“I need to get out of Iron County,” she explained. “Get set up somewhere and find money.”
I studied her sweet face, warning bells going off in my head.
“That’s pretty broad,” I told her. “Where do you want to go?”
She shrugged helplessly, her eyes wide and wet with unshed tears.
“I don’t care,” she whispered. “Just away from here.”
We both fell silent then, my heart picking up slightly.
She had secrets, deep, terrifying secrets which she didn’t want to share but I knew that eventually I would break down her walls and learn what had happened in her family’s home.
I couldn’t force the story out of her.
Something told me that she and I had a lot more in common than I liked and if I had a secret, there would be no amount of prodding or interrogation which would make me give it up.
I just had to wait until Eloise trusted me enough to disclose what had happened on her own.
I left her alone to relax on the sofa as I went to retrieve the coffee I had promised her, keeping a close eye on her slender frame as I did.
She was like a lamb, enveloped in all those blankets, her beautiful brown eyes reflective of whatever it was she was running from.
Tomorrow, I will go into town and pick up more supplies to make her comfortable. Eloise and I will develop a plan to take her safely from Iron County, I decided. And while I am in Cedar City, I will keep my ears open to learn more about Eloise Danzer and her family, even if I have to ask Cane myself.
I shuddered at the idea of having a two-hour conversation with the old man at Able Cane’s.
But this mysterious girl had floated into my life inexplicably and she needed my help.
I was not going to rest until I had answers.
I wondered if the attraction I was feeling toward her had anything to do with my newfound resolve.
6
Eloise
The dinner was delicious and I was shocked by what he had managed to put together in such a short period of time as if he had been anticipating company.
The roast was cooked to perfection, melting on my tongue and accompanied by oven roasted potatoes and onions.
Never had I enjoyed venison so much and I was surprised to learn he had hunted and bagged the deer himself.
A tossed salad with homemade vinaigrette and freshly baked bread only completed the mouthwatering meal.
Even Lucy couldn’t cook like that and I was stunned.
Mostly because he was a man and I had never known a single man in my life to cook anything, let alone a feast like the one which sat in my belly and regained my strength.
He offered me a glass of red wine from a selection he had in a small rack beneath the island in the kitchen.
At first, I had been reluctant to accept it.
Drinking was not something I did. Sir loathed it and control was paramount after all.
Realizing how much he would have hated it made me nod vigorously and I downed the first glass in two sips.
Harding chuckled, his dark eyebrows raised in amusement.
“I’d tell you to take it easy but after the day you’ve had, I say have at it.”
He refilled my glass and I looked at him gratefully, my heart fluttering slightly.
It was strange not to be reprimanded by him and I searched his face for any signs of disapproval but there was nothing I could read except perhaps curiosity.
Could I trust him, despite the way we met? Or was he just feeling sorry for me?
I reminded myself that he had not turned me into the police or hospital nor had he thrown me back outside.
Damn you, Sir and mother. Damn all of you for doing what you did to us!
Shame flooded me as I thought about Jillian alone in the main house, wondering why I had left her.
But I would go back for her too.
“You just got an incredibly pained look on your face,” Harding commented and I tried to force a smile.
It became more of a grimace.
“I was just thinking about my sister, Jillian,” I confessed, surprising myself. “She must be worried about me.”
His green eyes widened but he did not comment and I suddenly remembered something about him.
“You don’t have any
brothers or sisters?” I asked and he shook his head.
“Only child,” Harding replied. “I always wanted a brother but it wasn’t in the cards.”
“Cousins?” I pressed, wondering if he knew that we might be more connected than just the heady feeling that seemed to be coursing between us.
“No,” he replied, not seeming to sense my questions had a hidden meaning to them.
He took a bite of his meat and stared at me pensively.
“Tell me about your sister,” he said. “She doesn’t seem to think your home life is as awful as you do?”
She does. She just doesn’t realize how much worse it’s going to get, I thought grimly.
“I don’t want to talk about Jillian,” I said and he looked slightly taken aback by my tone.
“Fair enough.”
He rose from his seat and I took a long sip of my wine, wondering if I had upset him. The effects of the alcohol were making me feel both giddy and nervous simultaneously.
I wanted to cling to that feeling forever.
He lifted the plates from the table and I watched him with awe, a man doing women’s work.
He clearly lived alone so he must be used to doing things for himself but he had done me such a service hiding me and nursing me back to health.
Unbidden, the erotic dream I’d had came flooding back to me and I felt myself flush warmly, a combination of the wine and my guilt staining my cheeks as I stood to help him.
“Just leave it,” he told me. “I’ll get you a towel. You can have a bath if you wish.”
If possible, I blushed deeper.
“A bath?” I croaked and he glanced at me over his shoulder.
“If you want. It will make you feel better, I’m sure.”
There was nothing I could do except nod, watching him deposit the dishes by the stainless-steel sink and disappear through a back hallway adjacent to the kitchen which I hadn’t even noticed before that minute.
He returned a moment later with a thick, terrycloth towel and placed it in my arms.
I stared up at him, noting how he towered over me and I felt protected in his shadow. Again, the dream rushed me and I had the almost insurmountable desire to taste his lips but I stopped myself.
It’s the wine, I chided myself. Nice girls don’t go around kissing strange men.
But Harding was no longer a strange man.
He was someone who had saved me when I was sure death was knocking.
And I wasn’t sure I was a nice girl, no matter how he looked at me.
I would be blind not to see the way his irises fixated on me as he tried to figure me out.
As if I am some mystery to be unlocked, not simply a girl running from a messed-up circumstance. Will he still look at me like that when he learns the truth about me or will he wash his hands of this?
I had to admit that if someone fell into my lap with such an outrageous story, I would run away as fast as possible.
He already made it clear that he didn’t want me there. I couldn’t keep pushing my luck by expecting him to understand where I came from or why I had fled at first opportunity.
“Eloise? Are you coming? I started the bath for you. It’s this way.”
My mouth had gaped so many times in the past hours, I was sure it would eventually lock in place.
He ran me a bath?
I hung my head, knowing he could see the scarlet color of my complexion and followed him toward the back hallway, the heady feeling escalating.
The bathroom was an extension of the original cabin, the walls made of chipped stone and the bathtub equipped with jacuzzi jets.
I had never seen such opulence in one spot and I stood, dumbfounded as Harding left me alone in the room to disrobe.
For a long moment, I stood, unsure of what to do but stare at the filling tub in disbelief.
I had never seen running water like this.
Our kitchens had basin pumps and our bathwater was brought up from the stream when we had our weekly baths on Saturdays so we would be fresh for Sunday services.
My last bath had been three nights earlier in preparation for the ceremony, although my twenty-four hours in the wild had left me filthy, tangled and bruised.
I shivered as I thought about how close I had come to being somewhere else in that night.
Looking down at my soiled dress, I suddenly wanted to strip it off, to be free of the place I had left in such haste, without a plan.
I ripped the homemade garment away from my body, with it the hemp underwear and tossed them in a corner before hurrying to lower myself into the water.
The temperature was perfect, possibly a little on the hot side but precisely what I needed to feel clean.
I shut off the faucets and sat back against the ceramic, clawfoot tub, dipping my long waves into the water.
I relished the silence brought on as my ears submerged and I lay suspended for a long while, my mind escaping my aching body for a time.
The heat seeped into my sore muscles, washing away whatever pain I was feeling.
Even the goose egg on my forehead did not hurt as much as it had earlier.
Harding was nursing me back to health surely.
I had to find a way to make up his kindness.
I had no idea how much time had passed but I must have drifted off, the wine and warmth overtaking my frame.
I felt a hand on my cheek and I started slightly, lids fluttering open.
Harding stared down at me, compassion in his surreal eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You had me worried.”
I shook my head, trying to orient myself and slowly, I realized I was naked.
The water had turned cold and I wondered how long I had been asleep.
Harding held his gaze on my face, even as I sat up but I did not gasp or reach for a towel.
My dark eyes locked on his and I willed him to look at me, to see my nakedness.
Look at me! I wanted to cry. Touch me!
But he only turned away, a soft smile on his lips, hidden beneath the bristle of hair over his mouth.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, wishing I had the same gusto I’d had in my dream to reach for him.
There was an unmistakable connection between us, an unspoken bond we had.
Was it because we were both such secluded souls or maybe there was something deeper than that?
I couldn’t help but think that something had led me to him, to his cabin in the middle of nowhere.
Whatever it was, I had never known it and it superseded the drunk I had felt from the two glasses of wine I had consumed with dinner.
“Harding!” I called as he reached the doorway.
He froze but he didn’t turn around as he waited for me to finish my thought.
“Thank you.”
They were magic words and slowly, he did pivot as I rose from the tub, droplets of water dripping from my naked form.
He had no choice but to look at me this time, his eyes raking over my flat stomach and firm, perky breasts before resting on my plaintive face.
I longed to have him scoop me up and take me to his room, to kiss away all the doubts I had manifested.
“Don’t thank me yet,” he sighed and I sensed a deep melancholy in his voice.
He seemed to be warning me about something but I couldn’t hear it.
I could only see the desire in his eyes.
“I found some clothes which will suffice for tonight,” he told me, his voice a funny pitch as he turned away. “I’ll throw your dress in the wash.”
“NO!” I said sharply. “Burn it.”
He remained facing outward but he nodded slightly.
“You can have the bedroom,” he continued. “I’ll be working on the second floor tonight but I will try to keep it down so you can get some sleep. You need it.”
He disappeared before I could answer, leaving me with a wave of disappointment to wash over me.
Maybe he didn’t find me attractive.<
br />
Or maybe he had a girlfriend.
The latter thought filled me with apprehension.
I could be upsetting his life in more ways than one.
How could he explain my presence to a lover if she came calling?
Stepping onto the bathmat, I reached for the fluffy white towel and wrapped it around my body, securing it tightly around my frame.
I had seen the way he looked at me.
He wanted me as much as I was sure I wanted him.
If he had a girlfriend, she was about to have her heart broken.
My hair dripped over the floor as I exited the bathroom and searched for him throughout the cabin.
He was not in the living room or kitchen although both dogs barked and wagged their tails when they saw me.
I found they didn’t make me nearly as nervous as they had before, probably because I knew I was allowed on the property now.
In their own way, they were very sweet also and I couldn’t resist scratching their heads as I looked around for Harding.
The front door was open and I wandered toward the screen, watching as he unloaded his truck of building supplies.
His arms rippled beneath a red t-shirt as he pulled heavy bags of concrete mix and various tools, including lumber onto the yard.
In the dark, I could see his eyes gleaming with concentration and I saw he had so much on his mind.
The last thing he needed was some woman wandering into his life and screwing up his balance.
He was clearly a lone wolf.
If he wanted someone, he could have any woman he pleased.
He certainly wouldn’t pick someone like me.
The sacrificial virgin girl who had been raised in a cult.
Slowly, I retreated into the house and ventured back down the hall toward Harding’s bedroom at the very back of the house.
True to his word, he had located a t-shirt and pair of track pants which were clearly too small for him but still huge on me.
Still, they beat the clothes I had been wearing.
Wherever I end up, I vowed to myself, climbing into the huge, comfortable bed. I will never wear long dresses again.
I slid underneath the thick white duvet and pulled the blanket up around my chin, listening for Harding in the house.
