by Tracy Reed
In my dream state, I have been having a relationship with the same man off and on for a couple of years. But it wasn’t until the one on February 6th that I started journaling them. I hope none of my friends finds my journal and reads it. It could be a little embarrassing and difficult to explain. I named the star of my dreams Rêve, that’s French for dream.
I’ve never really seen his face, just his body. He’s incredible…average height, jet black wavy hair, dark olive skin and built like a brick wall. His sarong fits low on his hips barely concealing his uhm…let’s just say, he’s all man and then some.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget that night. I was in a deep sleep and then my conscious drifted into the most serene place. I was walking along a beach and this incredibly sexy man approached me. He smiled and it sent a chill through my body. He asked if he could join me on my walk. We strolled along the length of the white sandy beach a while before he casually reached for my hand. His touch felt like I’d been shot with an electric jolt straight to my core. I could barely stand up.
He quickly wrapped me in his muscular arms and pulled me to his chest. I felt uncomfortable, but safe at the same time. He gently stroked my temple and followed with a sweet kiss.
“Are you all right?”
The heat of those words traveling off his lips and into my mind, were so powerful. In that brief moment, he’d shown me more concern and compassion than any other man I’d been with. All I could do was smile and nod.
He ran his finger across my lips, down my chin, gliding down my neck, just stopping at the damp apex of my cleavage. I could barely breathe. Our eyes locked and he gently pressed his lips against mine. His tongue slowly invaded my mouth. He tasted like pineapple and sweet wine. I wanted more. He pulled me closer and his hands eased under my top and the heat from his hands penetrated my skin making my blood boil.
He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the white sandy beach. He kissed my shoulder and moved his mouth down my collar bone, dragging his tongue across my hot skin. His hand cupped my….Bzzzz…Bzzzz…Bzzzz…
Crap!…Crap!…Crap!…the alarm rang. Just as I was getting to the good part, or maybe that’s all there is to the dream.
Why can’t I find a boyfriend like the one in my dreams. He’s perfect. He has strong hands, soft lips and he can read my mind. I get chills thinking about him. If it wasn’t a shame, I’d get some sleeping pills so I could visit with him more frequently. I love my job, but I could stand an afternoon visit or two or three from my dream man to alleviate my stress.
_________________________
In college, I watched my cousin Taylor and friend Chloe juggle men like they were in the circus. I could never do that. I have always been a one at a time kind of girl. Grant it, I never had guys like the ones chasing Chloe and Taylor trying to get with me. No, I seemed to attract the mama’s boy or the under achiever only in college so his parents wouldn’t cut him off.
I always wanted to be the girl that dated the hot guy that everyone wanted. The guy that could stop traffic with his looks. But he had to have the other things on my list. That’s right. I have a list. My girlfriends think it’s childish. But, after my last debacle I thought I needed to stay focused and not get distracted with another idiot head just looking for a sponsor.
I want a man that appreciates all I have to offer. He also needs to like my cooking. Really, I can’t afford to be wasting time with someone who doesn’t like my cooking. How is he going to give me good feedback if he won’t eat my food?
He also has to love God. That’s my deal breaker. I don’t have time for mama’s boys, underachievers, day dreamers or free spirits. I’m trying to build an empire, and I need a man that can help me.
_________________________
So what’s my secret? I have a few, but one isn’t mine It’s someone else’s and they made me swear never to share it. My other secret would destroy my relationship with my cousin Alex. The other secret that’s holding me prisoner is a shocker even for me. I never saw it coming and I’m still in shock. I’m glad Chloe gave me that gun, because it came in handy.
ALEX
AS DIFFERENT AS THE FIVE of us are, we are very much alike and that’s why we’re friends. I think if there weren’t traces of each of us in each other, we wouldn’t be friends. We balance each other out. But when it comes to love, relationships and marriage, we’re all very different.
Considering our differences, you’d think it would be easy to keep a pact we made in college. That just confirms that pacts are for children and not grown women who are all searching for love.
The first part of the pact was simple…no dating any of your friend’s ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, relatives or co-workers. Second part, no secrets. No matter how much the truth could possibly hurt, we vowed to be truthful and honest with each other.
However, every last one of us has broken the pact, several times. Among the five of us there were too many secrets to keep track of.
The week we spent in Atlanta for my new store opening was the week that broke the seal on a few secrets that would change our lives forever.
We all found ourselves asking, “How well do I know my best friends?”
excerpt from
book one
this is how it started...
ALEX
I SCANNED THE ROOM ADMIRING all the Who’s Who of Atlanta here to help me celebrate the opening of my new store.
My cousin Taylor offered to throw me a welcome to Atlanta party, sort of a pre-opening. She said it’s the best way to entice the glitterati of Atlanta to come to the opening. If I weren’t the guest of honor, I’d be gone. I have so much to get done before the opening.
I looked across the room and caught the eye of the most beautiful man in the room. I convinced myself he was smiling at me, until I realized my cousin Taylor was behind me.
She walked over and whispered, “Too bad he is so old.”
“How old is he?” I asked.
“He’s in our neighborhood.”
“So now, we’re old?”
“No girl.” She laughed. “You know what I mean. I thought I’d try something a little fresher.” She turned to her right and cast a big smile in the direction of this young, honey colored, bald child standing in the corner. He was fine, but he still had milk on his lips. She motioned for him to come over although Mr. Dark Chocolate was also headed towards us.
Mr. Dark Chocolate moved like a gazelle, slow and steady gliding across the room. Swagger...confidence...danger. As he approached, I saw the details of his face more clearly. His skin looked like smooth dark chocolate and he had the most incredible light brown eyes. I’ve never seen a man so dark with such light eyes. They didn’t seem real, nor did he. He smiled and I felt something deep in my core. I don’t care if he’s only coming over to talk to my cousin. I’m grateful to stand here in his presence and lust…I mean admire him. He stopped in front of us and my mind immediately filled with thoughts no good, Christian girl should know anything about. I wonder what he looks like wet and naked. I looked around hoping I hadn’t said that out loud.
“Hello, Taylor.” He smiled.
Oh God, did You recycle Barry White’s voice box and put it inside this beautiful package? My hormones and body went into a tailspin and I was ruined for any other man on this planet.
Taylor managed to pry herself from junior’s arms long enough to acknowledge what I believe to be God’s best work. “Hi Moses. I’m glad you came.”
He kissed the back of her hand and replied, “Thank you for inviting me.” He took my hand, turned it over and gently kissed it. I think my uterus just flipped over.
“Good evening, I’m Moses Adair.”
Moses, lead me to the Promise land. “Alexandra Miller.”
“Are you the Alex?” He asked.
If I wasn’t, I was now. “Which Alex would that be?” I replied with a smile.
“The Alex I’ve been hearing people talk about all evening.”
“Depends on what you’ve heard.” I’m trying to flirt and that’s not something I’m good at. I wanted to tell him, “I’m whoever I need to be in order to keep talking to you.”
“Excuse me”, Taylor said, as she took junior’s arm and left us standing in the middle of the room.
“I heard a woman say she hoped the pink dress Alex was wearing would be available at the store, because she liked the way it...” He slowly looked me up and down. When his eyes met mine, he was smiling. I instantly recognized that smile. It’s the same one I had when I first spotted him. “...framed her face.”
I gave him the same smile he gave me. “Then, I guess I am that Alex.”
As soon as the flirting started, it ended. I saw him looking everywhere, but at me. Time to move on. I should have known this gorgeous man wasn’t interested in me. I’m going to hurt Taylor for leaving me with one of her castoffs.
“Excuse me, but I…”
He gently grabbed my hand. “Please…” I looked at my hand and then at his face. Those incredible eyes went from light to dark brown in a matter of seconds. A jolt hit my core and I almost fell down. “Please…don’t leave me alone.”
“What?”
He leaned in close and his aftershave traveled up my nose. He smelled like an expensive cigar that had been dipped in plums and cardamon. I took a deep breath, tattooing his scent in my mind. “May I tell you a secret?”
He can say anything he wants as long as I can hear that voice. I swallowed hard. “Sure.”
“This really isn’t my thing.”
“Then why did you come?” He was still holding my hand. Part of me wanted him to let go before he realized how sweaty it was. The other part of me didn’t ever want him to let it go. I looked down at my hand and back at him and he released my hand.
“I’m trying to be more outgoing. Meet new people.”
“And how’s that working out for you?” I asked, with just enough sarcasm to be cute.
“I've met one person so far,” he joked.
“Uh-huh. Excuse me.” I started walking away, when he grabbed my wrist.
“I’m sorry, how long have you known Taylor?”
“She’s my cousin, and you?”
“We dated briefly.”
“Really?” I turned to face him.
“You sound surprised.”
“I’m sorry, you just don’t seem like her type.” He looked across at Taylor and junior.
“I don’t?”
“Did you know, when a woman meets a man, she can size him up in a matter of seconds?”
“Really? Let’s get a drink, while you explain women to me.” He gently placed his hand on the small of my back and my body temperature tripled.
God, please let there be something wrong with him.
“What would you like?” he asked.
“A mineral water with lime.”
“We’ll both have mineral water. Thank you.” He turned toward me and it felt like he was looking into my soul. I once heard someone say, you know you’ve met the person you’re supposed to be with when you look into their eyes and see all the generations you’ll create. When I looked into his eyes, I saw our great grandchildren several times over. “You were saying?”
“It’s simple. When a woman meets an attractive man, within thirty seconds, or less, she’s picked out their china pattern, placed him at the altar, and given birth to their first child.” The bartender placed my drink on the bar and nodded his head in agreement with me. “Thank you.” I took a sip and continued. “He, on the other hand is just hoping she’ll say hello.”
“Thank you.” He said to the bartender and took a sip of his drink. “Taylor doesn’t strike me as that type.”
“Taylor is the rule with a little exception. She can sum up if you’re too old.”
“Too old?” He looked surprised.
“Yeah, that’s probably why it didn’t work out between the two of you. She kind of has this thing for younger men.” As soon as the words left my mouth, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only did I just betray my cousin, I just betrayed my sex and called him old. He looked at me and slowly turned his lips up into the most beautiful smile.
“Your insight is enlightening. However, I don’t think that’s why we stopped dating.”
“Trust me.”
“And here I thought it had to do with my wife.”
“Your wife?”
Here’s a sneak peek at
other novels
by
Tracy Reed
excerpt from
A NOVEL
1
Kyla promised herself she would never be like the other women in her family, dating a married man and settling for the pennies he doled out.
She’d always felt she was worth more. She met Eric at a fundraiser. He smiled, she smiled and after the cocktail hour, they found themselves seated next to each other. During dinner they talked and flirted and once the evening was over, he asked for her number. She declined and while getting ready for bed, she reached into her bag for her phone and noticed that she also had someone else’s phone.
She called the last number dialed and a vaguely familiar voice said, “I’ve been waiting for your call. So what time do you want to meet for breakfast so I can get my phone?” They both laughed.
They agreed to meet the following morning for breakfast. Two days later, they met again and included an extra slot for “therapy.”
Making love in the morning seemed so decadent. She didn’t think anything of it until she received her first black envelope a month later.
Eric said, “I’m tired of hotels. Rent a place and fix it up for us and keep whatever is left.”
“I’m not a hooker.”
“I didn’t mean any disrespect. I want to keep seeing you, but my neighbors are nosey.”
“Oh, you’re married.”
“No, I’m not. I just like my privacy. I like being with you, but—”
“I understand.” She dropped her head and quickly began getting dressed. “I don’t think this is—”
He noticed the change in her behavior and rushed to reassure her. “I don’t want you to think I’m ashamed of you, but I also don’t want you to think I’m monopolizing your time. You need your space and so do I. When we get together, it should be on neutral, comfortable ground and not some cold hotel room or a place filled with memories of past lovers.”
He wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him, gently stroking her hair, inhaling her neck and gently placing a kiss on her soft shoulder. She turned around trying to read the expression on his face. Looking into his eyes, she wondered how many more love nests he had scattered around the city. She pulled his face close to hers and covering his mouth with hers, kissed him passionately. She slipped her hands inside the front of his pants while sliding her tongue inside his mouth, exciting him to the point of arousal.
She pulled back and whispered, “Once more before we have to go?”
He couldn’t resist her. The soft seductive tone of her voice and the gentle touch of her hand, made him weak and willing to do anything she asked. Kyla knew if there were anyone else, they would have a hard time competing with her.
She got her education in how to manipulate a man by eavesdropping on her aunts’ conversations. They were all experts when it came to being with and manipulating married men. She learned how to kiss from her high school boyfriend. And her college boyfriend, her biology professor, schooled her in anatomy and how to physically please a man.
Before getting involved with Eric, she had dated, but she only had two other semi serious relationships. Neither was fulfilling. The first was Thomas Smith. He was cute, but he lacked the drive to satisfy her physically. When they were together she found herself fantasizing about other men. Intellectually he was a genius, but no one really makes love to a person’s brain. It was the other part of his body that needed more educating and she knew she wasn’t a school teacher.
Then there was Alister Humphre
y. The name alone intrigued her. She had never met a black man with such a stuffy name. In the beginning he seemed like the complete package. Model good looks, intelligence and his skills in bed were unbelievable. The first time they made love, the intensity of his being inside her brought tears to her eyes. Not because it was painful, but because she had never felt such pleasure. Alister knew exactly how to read her body. A skill that was the result of his blindness. What he lacked in vision, he more than compensated for in his other senses. But, he was a man and as they all do, he began making demands and that’s when she called it quits. Mind blowing sex aside, Kyla was gone.
Her aunts always said, “Don’t allow a man to make demands on you. You make the demands on him. Use what you have and any man can be controlled with the sway of your hips and the wink of your eye. And, showing a little cleavage wouldn’t hurt either.”
If she were going to marry, it would be to Eric. He was everything she wanted. Handsome, well educated, focused, rich and eager to please in and out of bed. But she also learned from her aunts, the wife always got the leftovers and Kyla didn’t like leftovers or sloppy seconds. When Eric suggested the apartment, at first she thought, he was ashamed of her. But Eric’s response to her kiss and touch convinced her, she was his priority.
She knew she was in charge. She eased her hand further down his pants pleading, “Baby, please make me sing again before sending me off to start the day.”
She kissed his neck before dropping the sheet that was caressing her body and walked into the bathroom. He stood still contemplating the repercussions of being late to the office, when he heard the shower running. He looked at his watch and texted his assistant he would be late. He put his phone on the desk, striped, walked into the steam filled bathroom and opened the shower door to a wet and soapy Kyla, smiling.
