I shook my head, but it didn’t help. “So if someone else took the job, your debt to my father would be forfeit? Is that why you took it?”
He ran an absent hand through his hair. “Dammit, having you here complicates everything.” He strode toward the door and reached for the handle.
He so didn’t get to storm out of here.
I was pissed. I jumped up, my anger wiping away the last tendrils of whatever scent of his that had lingered in my mind. “If you remember correctly, I didn’t want to be anywhere near here. I wanted to stay with my Pack and fight. I was a complication you didn’t need to act on. It was your choice to bring me here. You could’ve dropped me in the next town over and my father would’ve called it good, your life debt paid in full.”
“Dropping you off and leaving you alone wasn’t in the cards,” he ground. “My honor is one of the only things I have left to give freely, and I don’t give it lightly.”
I stalked toward him. He dropped his hold on the door and faced me. “All the stories I’ve ever heard about you in the past have been full of hard edges, but honestly, Rourke, you’ve turned out nothing like them. Now I’m left wondering what’s true and what’s a goddamn smokescreen. I’m beginning to think everything is a lie and you’re just one big, badass kitten under all that muscle.” I got in his face. “Are you trying to gain my trust so you can pull one over on me, or are you really just a nice guy masquerading as a stone-cold killer?”
All in one motion I was up against the doorframe, his body flat against mine.
His mouth covered mine, his lips soft but firm, the kiss deep and full. His mouth felt hot against my lips; his strange, wonderful scent pouring over me in waves, making my whole body ache with need.
My body responded on its own, my mouth opening up to his. My tongue found his warmth; my nails sought his back. Gods, he’s hard and soft at the same time.
“It shouldn’t be. This shouldn’t be right,” he growled into my mouth, then covered my lips again fiercely, his grip tightening on my hips. He groaned, pulling back a few inches, his eyes fully dilated. He took my mouth again, his hands sliding up to tangle in my hair, his body full of power as he leaned into me, pressing me farther into the jamb. The currents of his power radiated into my body, throbbing everything deliciously. “Jessica.”
My body seized and all my synapses exploded at once.
Reality came back slowly, like waking from a dream. No. What did he just say? I have to stop this. What was that? I tried hard to clear my head, but instead my hands slid to his still naked chest, caressing, feeling, my brain too foggy to concentrate on anything but pleasure. His delicious scent was overpowering me and I let it.
He nipped at my lips, his teeth pulling, tasting, his tongue lapping me.
I moaned.
“Jessica,” he murmured as his mouth covered mine again in a deep, sensual kiss.
I froze. No. No. No. What’s happening? It took everything I had, but I braced my hands against his chest and shoved.
He stumbled backward, dazed.
“What was that? I … I …” I ran a forearm over my bruised mouth. I tried to refocus. Everything was blurred. “That wasn’t a normal kiss, Rourke. I know you’re hot, and my wolf’s been going apeshit over you, but holy crap. I’ve never … that was … I …” There were no words.
Rourke stared at me without speaking, his irises a full blaze of green. He appeared as stunned as I felt.
My wolf howled, angry with me. She shot a picture into my mind of Rourke looking down on us like he just had, but this time we were licking and biting his chin.
Ohmygod.
No. My wolf danced around excitedly, like she’d been doing all day. Rourke is not our mate. She snarled and bared her teeth. No! It can’t possibly be right. That would be insanity. She howled. I shook my head. There had to be some mistake.
“Jessica.” Rourke closed the gap between us and tried to reach for me again.
I stepped to the side, pushing him away. “You knew,” I said accusingly. “You knew what was happening—what had been happening to us all day—and you didn’t say a damn thing.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I had no idea until right now. Until I just tasted you. Something shattered between us when we came together and I know you felt it too.” He gazed at me in open wonder. “Your blood is calling to me right now. Just being this far apart is making me crazy. I need to touch you.”
He felt different to me too, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. It was too much. “How could this happen?” I scooted away. I needed some space. “Cats and dogs don’t play together, and if this really is true, the universe is playing some kind of cruel joke on us.”
“It’s no joke,” Rourke said, taking another step toward me. “Jessica, when I first saw you striding toward me in the bar, all confident and headstrong, it was all I could do not to bend you over a barstool and take you right there. But I marked it up to a regular male response to a gorgeous woman. I didn’t think about it any more than that.” His eyes were still wild, firing a beautiful green. “When I realized you hadn’t set me up, and you were in real trouble—my beast went crazy trying to get you out of there and out of harm’s way. I had trouble controlling his impulses, and it pissed me off. That has never happened to me before. It seems I’ve been denying him the whole time I’ve been with you, pushing him back, scolding him. He never stopped urging me, fighting with me, until this very moment. When you got in my face, I finally gave in to what he’s been pushing me to do all along.”
“And what was that?” I asked warily.
“To taste you.”
I knew in my bones what he was saying was true. I’d been denying my wolf just as hard. But that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. Rourke was nothing like any of the wolves had thought, but I still wasn’t ready. I’d just turned into a wolf—now I had a mate? It was too much, an insane amount of too much. “I can’t think. None of this is making any sense.” I put my hand to my forehead. “Why us? Why now? It takes some a thousand years to find their true mate.” I turned. “I need some air.” Before he could object I darted out the door, slamming it firmly behind me.
My wolf had gone quiet for once, her head angled at me like she wanted to ask a question. I cannot talk about this with you. I know where you stand, you’ve been abundantly clear on all fronts. You accept him. I get it. But I can’t deal with this right now. His scent is still inside me, driving me crazy. His taste is still on my lips. I crave him even now. Holy shit, I had a mate. And he was a cat.
I ran headfirst into the woods.
20
I followed a well-worn path leading away from the cabin. It ran without stopping straight into a wall of densely packed pine trees. I had to duck my head and pull apart low branches to get through.
Inside was a tiny clearing, ringed tightly with tall trees. The grassy field in the middle was so perfect and green, it appeared to have been freshly mowed. That was inconceivable. Rourke didn’t come up here and mow lawns.
I paced into the middle and looked up. The trees were entrancing, like a beautiful forested cathedral made of swaying boughs with a rooftop of the purest blue. The edges of the sky were fading to orange with the setting sun.
We have to do something, I told my wolf. I have to get my mind off of all this. She mimicked lying on the ground and barked. You want to shift? She yipped. What if I can’t shift all the way? She snapped the air in front of her and flicked her muzzle. It’s not a stupid question. We did that whole Lycan thing, and I have no idea how it happened, or how to do it again. She turned away from me like it wasn’t any concern of hers. What if I’m not in control as a wolf? I’m not ready for a repeat of the last time we were in our full true form. My wolf turned around slowly, her eyes clear as she put her paw up against the opaque barrier between us in my mind. I had dropped it momentarily when we’d fought the rogue, but it was still there. She was telling me it still held, it was still strong.
I was in control whether
she liked it or not.
Okay, let’s try it then. I’ve really got nothing to lose.
I shimmied out of my clothes quickly and lay down on the grass, pushing Rourke and the kiss from my mind. It took gargantuan effort. All my body really wanted to do was run back to him.
I closed my eyes and focused on my wolf, which wasn’t hard because she had situated herself front and center, waiting for me to get with the program. Okay, this is all you. I’m trusting you to know what to do. She growled, urging me along. Fine, fine, I’m going.
Once I was settled, I pushed out to her. I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right, but it felt comfortable. The barrier between us bowed, but held. Power flowed through me, transferring to my wolf through the screen. She howled fiercely as she accepted it. Shivers shot though me as my muscles started to dance and move. Slowly at first, and then more rapidly, like my body was yielding on its own.
My back arched, my spine lifting off the ground, starting to shift beneath me. Soft fur sprouted along my arms and legs, my canines and claws elongating to full length. My legs bent and twisted as they changed.
There was no shock of pain this time. My father had been right.
Instead, a constant pressure mixed with liquid heat ran through my veins. Raw energy transformed my body; it shaped me and shook me with need.
My body wanted this, it welcomed it.
When it was over, I sprawled on my stomach panting heavily. My paws spread out in front of me. I have paws. I laughed. It was funny to think of myself with anything other than hands. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the field of vision, which was sharper and much more precise than before. I pushed out to my wolf and found her sitting right next to me, panting with me, seeing everything I saw.
How can you be here with me at the same time? As she barked, our mouth opened and the sound of a wolf’s calling reverberated in the air. You told me you wouldn’t be in control! She sniffed the air, and as she did, our snout absorbed the scents around us. The smell of Rourke hit me immediately. He was near. In my wolf form, his scent called to me immediately, signaling our connection clearly. There was no mistaking it. It screamed mate. No wonder my wolf had known. I wanted to go to him now, so he could comfort me, soothe me. But I didn’t.
Instead I jumped to my feet and stumbled a few paces. I wasn’t used to working a body with four legs. I had to get out of here. I needed to think somewhere I couldn’t smell my mate. I don’t get it. Why won’t this work? My wolf took a step forward in my mind, and I felt a pull to step, my paw lifting off the ground on its own. No! My foreleg froze in place. I focused all my concentration and my paw went down, and as it did, I understood.
I was in control, but the shift of power in this form hung on the tiniest thread of thought. We were melded here, almost one and the same. Nothing like my human body. She bit the air in my mind, but my muzzle stayed shut in my physical form. I get it. Let me get used to it first. She huffed, but sat back on her haunches. I moved forward cautiously, feeling out my new body on my own. The last time, I’d been in shock and she had taken over, so it was my first time.
I crept out of the ring of trees.
Rourke stood fifty paces from me, watching me intently.
I ran.
I raced toward the creek, where the smell of sweet water beckoned me like a tinkling bell. I was hungry and thirsty. Once I got there and took my fill, I followed it to the end, picking over rocks and boulders, taking time to explore my new form. My wolf was patient with me, even though I knew she wanted to run and hunt.
I settled us on a big boulder at the edge of a small waterfall, the cliff sheering off below us. I didn’t want to think about Rourke, but he’d been the only thing occupying my mind. My wolf flashed me a picture. It was the same one she’d shown me before of Rourke towering over me, us biting and licking his chin. I know that already! But we need to talk to our Alpha right n—
Jessica! My father’s voice came screaming into my consciousness. Can you hear me? Damn it, answer me! Jessica!
I sprang up so quickly I stumbled back, almost losing my balance and tumbling off the rock. I had to use all my faculties not to plunge over the waterfall.
Dad? Dad! I’m here! I can hear you!
There was a pause. Jessica, are you in your wolf form?
Yes.
Your full wolf form?
Yes, I just shifted.
Are you in danger right now? Jessica, answer me quickly!
No. I looked around me, but there was nothing but woods. At least not anything immediate. I’m somewhere in the Ozarks, at a cabin up in the mountains. We lost the Southern wolves for the time being, but I’m certain they’ll find us soon. We have, at Rourke’s best guess, till morning.
I felt my father’s mind shift as he said something to someone else; it was like being on hold during a phone call when you heard murmuring in the background. We’re on the road somewhere in Missouri. Tyler saw you get on the highway and we followed as soon as we could. There was another brief interruption. I waited patiently. Jessica, listen to me, there’s something else going on here. When you left with Rourke, the Southern faction pulled out of the fight immediately. And when I say that, I mean, to a wolf they abandoned the fight. They had several U-Hauls, and they came around quickly, gathering up their wolves midfight. Never in my life have I ever left a fight, and I’ve certainly never seen any other wolf do it either, especially during a war. We stay and fight, it’s our instinct to do so.
If they left, does that mean no one on our side was hurt? I was anxious to know if everyone was okay. I felt a heavy burden on my shoulders, thinking there was a possibility wolves could’ve lost their lives because of me. Especially anyone I loved.
I heard what amounted to a scoff in my head. We’re fine, don’t worry about us. Danny got a few bones broken and it pissed him off, and some of the younger wolves have some bumps and bruises, but there were no major losses.
I was relieved. Is Tyler with you?
Yes, he and ten others. The rest are going to rendezvous with us once we pick you up.
I don’t know how you’re going to find me. We crossed a small river with a sulfur stream and we hiked up a steep slope all day. You’re going to have to follow our stinky trail. I can change back and ask Rour—
Jessica, I will find you. I can promise you that. There’s nothing on this planet that will keep me from finding you—but you have to listen to me closely now. Intensity stressed his words. My blood jumped, reacting to his emotion.
I’m listening.
The implication of the Southern wolves changing their tactics and pulling out is extremely serious. It means they’re working with another Sect, maybe even more than one. There’s something going on here that we don’t fully understand yet. And it’s highly organized, Jessica. I’ve been a fool not to think something like this wasn’t a possibility. His regret flowed though me. I’ll be sorry until the day I die, but I promise I will make amends to you. I swear it on my very life.
My heart thudded in my chest. I wanted to be with my Pack, to alleviate my father’s worry. I can leave now, try to meet you through the forest. I can try to find my way out in my wolf form. Or Rourke may be able to guide me there if he’s willing.
My father stilled. Has Rourke told you anything? Has he told you who sent him? Or why?
No, he only hinted they were “very” interested in me.
Jessica, he cannot be trusted. He’s a great warrior, one of the best I’ve ever seen, and I will owe him a life debt for getting you out of the fight, but he is not one of us. He is not Pack. If he’s led you into a trap by bringing you there … he’s also a dead man.
The thought of Rourke dead choked me. I couldn’t breathe.
Jessica? Do you hear me?
I shook myself. Yes, I hear you. Now was not the time or the place to explain what had happened between Rourke and me. That would have to wait. I don’t think I’m in any danger from Rourke, as of right now, I said carefully. He’s been on the le
vel as much as he can be. When I change back, I’ll try to get more information. He may be willing to share more with me now.
Jessica, I think we’re close to the point where you entered the mountains. Tyler is reading the map as we speak and the base of the Ozarks is roughly a twenty-minute drive from where we are. If you climbed all day, we can make it in a fraction of that time. We have your scent. We’ll find you soon.
I can change back into my wolf form after I talk to Rourke. I can be waiting and ready in an hour. That should give you enough time to find my trail.
Heavy emotion pulsed in my blood. There was something my father wasn’t telling me, and it weighed heavily on him. Then he spoke. Jessica, the Southern faction is ahead of us. It took us some time to round up our wolves and get organized. There’s a strong possibility … they will make it to you before we do.
But they don’t know where to go, and you do, I told him with a confidence belying my feelings.
It doesn’t matter. If they’re working with another group of supernaturals, it’s possible they have information we don’t. And they have your scent. They could be working with anyone: witches or demons or any of the goddamn Sects, very likely the same one who hired the cat. A string of angry curses tumbled around in my brain. You have to arm yourself. Right now. Change back and get yourself somewhere safe. Don’t stay in the open. Go someplace unpredictable. Start moving. We’ll find you.
I’m heading back right now. We’ll leave as soon as I shift back.
When we draw closer, your link with your brother should be intact. Just get yourself to a safe place. My body tingled, the blood order searing through my veins, solidifying.
I’m leaving now. I’ll see you soon. I told him.
I love you, Jessica.
I love you too.
I jumped off the rock. Okay, this is going to be all you. I shifted control over to my wolf on a thought and she took off, picking up our pace, speeding through the forest. It was exhilarating—a feeling so pure and free, I’d never experienced anything like it. For the very first time since my change, I finally felt like the animal I’d become. It was wonderful.
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