The Witch's Handbook to Hunting Vampires (Southern Single Mom Paranormal Mysteries 1)

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The Witch's Handbook to Hunting Vampires (Southern Single Mom Paranormal Mysteries 1) Page 8

by Amy Boyles


  “Probably,” I said.

  Kate put the book by her purse and crossed to me. “Anyway, I brought some leftovers for your dinner.” She pulled a glass container from the fridge and set it on the stove. “Last night’s pot roast.”

  I shot Dot a look. “You don’t say.”

  “Yep. Cook it on 300 until it warms up. About thirty minutes or so.”

  “That’s sweet of you.”

  Kate smiled. Her blue eyes shone. She really was the greatest bestie in all the world. “You’re welcome.”

  “I’ll walk you out.” I threw Dot another dirty look and escorted Kate outside. The rain had turned into a drizzle, misting down on us. “You can borrow my raincoat to walk home,” I said. I grabbed it from the truck and handed it to her.

  “Thanks. Listen, Andie, I stopped by because I saw you leave school with that Stone guy. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

  Some of the mist sprinkled on me. I brushed it from my hair, while at the same time trying to avoid this conversation. “Yeah. We had some things to discuss.”

  Kate frowned. “It’s just, you never mentioned him before. I’m kind of worried about you. This isn’t like you to keep secrets.”

  Oh, really? I hate to tell you, Kate, but I’ve been keeping lots of secrets from you. Like, oh, I don’t know, I’m a witch and so’s my kid. I used to hunt vampires for a living, but I gave all that up before Gabby was born.

  “He knew Dex,” I lied. “Just someone from the past that I’m catching up with. I don’t think he’ll be in town long.”

  Kate scowled. A worry divot set in between her eyes. She hated those.

  “You’re making expressions that give you wrinkles,” I said.

  Her hands scrubbed over her face. “Oh God! Don’t let me do that. I don’t need wrinkles.”

  “You don’t have any.”

  She wiggled a finger at me. “Not yet, I don’t. But they’re coming. I can feel it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay, whatever. Anyway, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Listen, if you see anything or anyone suspicious, let me know.”

  She scoffed. “You don’t want me calling Sheriff Terry Terry?”

  I shrugged. “You can. But call me, too.”

  “Okay.” She gave me a quick hug and walked home.

  I went back inside and found Dot playing with Gabby in the living room. I fisted my hands on my hips and gave her my darkest, nastiest scowl.

  The witch didn’t even look up when she spoke. “You know your face might freeze that way. I knew a witch who spelled people like that. She had a nosy next-door neighbor who was always peering into her windows. So one day, to get back at her, the witch froze her neighbor’s face to the glass so the entire town could see what was going on.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” I said.

  Dot smiled. “Yes, but it’s true.”

  “You told Kate you’re a witch.”

  Dot handed Gabby a wooden train to play with. “I am, and you are, too.”

  I rubbed my forehand. “You can’t go around telling people that.”

  “Why not?”

  I picked up a toy block from the floor and set it on the toy box. “Because they might run us out of town.”

  “Psah,” she said dismissively.

  I picked up more blocks and stowed them away. “We’ll be treated differently, with suspicion. If something goes wrong in this town, who do you think the authorities will finger? Us. Me. That’s how it is when people find out the truth. That’s what happened when my powers surfaced in middle school. People treated me like I was different. They were hateful, mean.”

  Dot waved her hand. “You were brought up with the wrong people. You should’ve been raised around witches. Things would have been different. Anyway, the people in this town don’t believe in our kind. I could shoot lightning bolts from my fingers and they’d think it was a Hollywood trick. To them, we don’t exist. So in their minds, we don’t.”

  I sank into a chair. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

  Dot clapped her hands on her thighs. “Well, I know something that will.”

  “What’s that?” I grumbled.

  “The three.”

  I frowned. “What are you talking about? And you also spelled Kate so she’d bring over pot roast.”

  Dot shrugged. “I told you I wanted that for dinner. You weren’t going to make it happen, so I had to go about it using other methods.”

  “Oh boy,” I said. “Okay. So what are you talking about the three?” Vordrid sailed into the room and landed on a side table. “And where were you when Dot was telling Kate about witchcraft?” I said.

  “I’m not allowed to get involved,” he said.

  I threaded my fingers through my curls in frustration. “Okay. What’s this about the three?”

  Dot smiled widely. “I’m so glad you asked. Andie, you need the three.”

  “Three what?”

  “Witches, of course. How else are you going to be able to use the handbook correctly?”

  I glanced from her to Vordrid. “I’m not using it.”

  Dot rose. “Let me get that pot roast on, and we’ll discuss it. Anyone want some coffee?”

  “How about a Jack and Coke?” I mumbled.

  I followed her into the kitchen. Dot sailed across the house. She magicked herself over the floor like she was on rollers.

  “You won’t use The Witch’s Handbook because it sucks away some of your life each time. Heck, you won’t use your own magic, either, but that’s because you don’t want Gabby to see. Hate to tell you, but the jig is up. She’s officially a witch and has already used her power. Stop caring about what other people think. Thoughts like that only make you age faster.”

  I sat and toed off my heeled boots. “I didn’t realize it was time to psychoanalyze me.”

  “There are ways to counter the handbook,” she said.

  I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. “I was taught everything about it by some of the best hunters in the world.”

  Dot brushed a bit of lint from my clothes. “Well, they obviously didn’t teach you the rule of three, which says that having three witches is one method to counter the side effects of the book.”

  “How do you know this?”

  Dot brushed her hands over her blouse. Well, partly just because of trial and error. But it is a rule.”

  I got up and flipped the oven to 300. “I’ve never heard of it.”

  “Trust me.”

  “Do I have to?”

  Dot swatted at me. “You are one witch, I am another, and if you get Kate, you have the three.”

  I gestured for her to stop. “Whoa, there, partner. Who says you’re staying? Especially after telling my best friend you’re a witch.”

  Dot scoffed. “Of course I’m staying. You need me. Once you have the three, you must also be put to a test.”

  Okay, this had to be some sort of joke. “Fine. What kind of test?”

  “It means,” Vordrid interrupted, “that you have to give something of yourself.”

  “She’s been telling you this nonsense, too?” I said.

  Vordrid landed on the counter. “It makes sense.”

  I twisted the gold wedding band on my finger. “But why don’t I know this?”

  Dot shrugged. “Well, let’s just say I found out some of it by accident.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Okay. Fess up. How do you know this?”

  Dot’s mouth curled into a devilish smile. “Because, my dear, I was once a hunter, and it’s because of these rules that I’m still alive.”

  ELEVEN

  “Help can come in many forms. Accepting it is your choice.”

  —The Witch’s Handbook

  * * *

  I tried to hide the shock from my face.

  Who am I kidding? I didn’t try to hide my surprise that the woman who looked like a tangerine with a tuft of pink hair had once been a hunter—and she’d lived a long life.
/>   I sank into a chair. “You were a hunter? Why haven’t you told me this before?”

  Dot traced one of her rings. “Because you were too proud and busy when you were a hunter to listen to what I had to say, and you’ve been retired for nearly three years, so there was no point telling you. But since that comet, things have changed.” She tapped the air. “You need this information.”

  I smirked. “You must not’ve been a hunter for very long.”

  Dot gave me the kind of smile you give a three-year-old who’s asked an amusing question. “My dear, I opened The Witch’s Handbook every day for twenty years. And used the power.”

  My head tipped down. “And you’re still alive?”

  She nodded. “Yes, because I fulfilled all the tasks. When I did that, I got all my life back and kept it.”

  “How did you do it?”

  “It took me a long time to figure it all out. I’ve had to puzzle it together. Most of it, I did by accident,” Dot said.

  Well, that gave me a lot of faith. In fact, it gave me so much faith I wanted to pour some chocolate down my throat for comfort.

  Dot smiled. “Why don’t we get ready for dinner and I’ll explain everything I can?”

  “Sounds like a good plan,” Vordrid said. “I would let you know when the pot roast is done, but that normally requires a sense of smell.”

  “I know, V. I’ll set the timer and get things cleaned up. Dot, do you need help unpacking or picking a room?”

  Dot had already disappeared from the room. “Oh no. I’m all set. Come and see.”

  “Come and see, Mommy,” Gabby said.

  “Yes.” I scooped her up and followed Dot’s voice until I reached the small bedroom that I normally used for extra storage.

  “Holy cow,” I said.

  The room was normally the size of a large closet and sparsely furnished with a twin bed and a desk. Dot had elongated the walls using magic. It was three times as large—bigger than my own bedroom. Plus, she’d had time to decorate with a brand-new four-poster bed. Bright, colorful scarves were draped over lamps and windows, a makeup desk with an iron-scrolled stool sat in one corner along with a half-dozen feather boas and more scarves.

  “Wow,” I said. “You certainly made yourself at home.”

  “Of course I did, dear. I’m going to be staying for a while.”

  “So it seems,” I murmured.

  I went back into the kitchen and set the table. Twenty minutes later, dinner was ready along with a fresh pitcher of sweetened iced tea that Dot had conjured earlier that day. Of course she used magic to make it. Dot didn’t do anything the long way unless she had to.

  “It smells wonderful,” Dot said, sailing into the kitchen.

  I smiled. “Doesn’t it?”

  The four of us sat down at the table, even Vordrid.

  “According to the coroner’s report, Justin’s body had puncture wounds and was drained of blood.”

  “Obviously a vampire,” Dot said.

  “Looks that way,” I said.

  Vordrid turned toward me. “Hate to say I told you so, Andie, but I did tell you so.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I cut up Gabby’s pot roast and handed her a plastic fork. It didn’t do any good; the kid ate with her fingers all the time, no matter how much I tried to prod her with utensils.

  “Anyway, I also discovered that Gabby’s sitter yesterday happens to be the coroner’s missing daughter.”

  “Did you call the agency?” Vordrid said.

  “Yeah,” I said between chews. “They don’t have a record of her.”

  Dot poked at her plate of food. “So someone erased the records. Is this the same man who appeared on your doorstep and knew you were a hunter?”

  I shot Vordrid a dark look. Boy, did he have a big mouth. “Yes.”

  Dot tapped a finger against her fork. “Then she may have known, too. She may have been sent in to do something. Vordrid, you didn’t see what happened, right?”

  “That’s correct. I was running my science experiments.”

  Dot studied Gabby. “And that’s the person Gabby froze?”

  “Right,” I said.

  Dot nibbled a bit of pot roast on the end of her fork. “The girl must’ve tried something and it set Gabby off. That’s why she froze her. The baby’s been a dream all day. Hasn’t done one bit of magic, except for the little bit we worked on. I think that sitter is on the wrong side of things.”

  I paused my fork as I was about to bite into a potato. “Wait. You got my kid working magic?”

  Dot blinked at me. “Of course. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose, kid.”

  “That’s not true,” I muttered.

  I bit down on my lip. The idea that a sitter had been sent in to hurt my daughter infuriated me. “I’m going with Stone tonight to see if we can find Charlotte.”

  “That’s a good plan,” Dot said. “Meanwhile, I’ll work on your friend Kate, see if I can help her with her craft.”

  I choked on a ball of food, coughing so hard I spit it into my napkin. “What are you talking about? You can’t just go and start teaching witchcraft to anyone you want to. I’m pretty sure there are rules about that. What would the tribunal say?”

  Dot waved a hand. “Pah. The only rule I know is that you can’t teach witchcraft to anyone who doesn’t have the ability. I sensed a spark in your friend. Besides, you need the three to help you beat the powers of the book.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I can get rid of vampires without the book.”

  She pursed her lips together. “No, you can’t.”

  She was right. I couldn’t.

  “So who were your three witches?”

  “What? Oh, two of my sisters—not your grandmother. I was hunting a demon who had a knack for throwing banana cream pies in people’s faces. We tracked it down.”

  I quirked a brow. “So they were hunters, too?”

  She shook her head. “No, we just all liked to get in trouble together.”

  Yeah, that made no sense.

  Vordrid laughed. “Sounds like a pie of a time.”

  Dot joined him in laughter. “Yes, we really pied it up.”

  Gabby started giggling, too. I felt like a complete moron for not laughing, so I kinda faked it. I’ll be honest, it may have started out weak at first, but after a few seconds the laughter became real. I’m not saying tears came to my eyes or anything, but it was genuine.

  We finished up dinner, and I changed clothes. We’d eaten early, before the sunset. As the sun burned down the sky, I tapped my foot, waiting impatiently for Stone to arrive. If there were vampires feeding on my town, I needed to help—and I had to do it by myself.

  Well, with the help of one angel, that is.

  A hunky angel that made my blood hum like a plucked violin wire.

  “Andie,” Dot called. “I’ve got something that might help you.”

  I entered her room. An old-time doctor’s medical bag sat on her bed. She reached in, way in, like Mary-Poppins-style in and retrieved an old soccer ball.

  “Ball,” Gabby said. “Want catch it.”

  I ruffled her hair. “We don’t throw balls in the house.” I looked at Dot as if she was kinda crazy, because how the heck was a soccer ball going to help me? But I still managed to plaster on a big smile and say, “Wow. That’s great. I’ve always wanted one of those.”

  “Now it’s yours. You know what it does, right?”

  “It’s a ball used for the game of soccer.”

  Dot laughed. “Oh, it only looks like a soccer ball.”

  I quirked a brow. “What is it, then?”

  Dot threw me a secretive smile. I’m gonna admit her orange lipstick almost made her look like the Joker. Thank goodness she didn’t have a tendency to paint her face white.

  Dot poked it. “This is sunshine. Press the small button here”—she pointed to a small indentation—“throw it up in the air and voila! You’ve got instant s
un. It’ll burn any vampires in the vicinity.”

  “Oh that is so cool,” I said, reaching for the ball. “I love it! It’s not something I can keep on me, though.”

  “Keep it in your car,” she said.

  “This,” Vordrid said, sailing in, “is something you can keep in your purse.” A canister of what looked like hairspray followed him in.

  “What’s that?” I said.

  “Something I’ve been working on. Garlic in a can.”

  I laughed. “Are you serious?”

  “My dear, I’m as serious as a warthog in heat.”

  “Gross,” I said. “Thanks for the image, Vordrid.”

  “You are welcome. As you say, that one was free. You’ll have to pay for any others.”

  I grimaced. “I think I’ll pass on the quotes, but I’ll take the can.”

  He handed it to me. I sprayed a small stream away from everyone. I sniffed. Sure enough, the strong stench of garlic floated up my nose. I laughed. “That’s fantastic. I’m going to keep this in my purse.”

  The doorbell rang.

  “There’s my date,” I said.

  “Date?” Vordrid and Dot said at once.

  I gave an embarrassed laugh. “Not really a date.” I shook my head. “Not a date. It’s not a date. I don’t know what I was saying. That’s a figure of speech.” I backed out of the room. “Everyone understands that, right? It’s not a date.”

  “I understand perfectly,” Dot said. “It is a date, but you don’t want us to know that.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Not a date.”

  I left the room and heard all of them following behind. I reached the door and threw it open. Stone was facing away. He turned around and smiled, a perfect set of white teeth flashing.

  I smiled back.

  “Mommy’s date,” Gabby said.

  Heat bloomed on my cheeks. I laughed awkwardly. “Yep,” I said. I mean, what could I say? There was no way to salvage this.

  Stone smiled down at her. “Hi there,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

  Gabby clutched the back of my leg. “She’s shy.”

  Gabby stared at him a second; then she stepped out from behind me and touched Stone’s leg.

  “I guess she likes you,” I said.

 

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