by Chiah Wilder
“I missed you too,” he whispered in her hair.
She tipped her head back and her stomach clenched with heat at the blistering want in his gaze. “Kiss me,” she rasped, curling her arms around his neck. His mouth crashed down on hers, stealing her pain, chasing away the demons inside her head. He pushed her down, and his brawny build sandwiched her hard against the mattress. His hands roamed over her arms, her back, her hips, finally resting and then digging into her firm butt cheeks. His touch awoke every part of her, and her body hummed and tingled as she tugged his shirt up, pressing closer to him until they were skin to skin.
Pulling away slightly, he lowered his head and kissed between her breasts, slowly running his tongue up her neck and along her jawline. With ferocity, his mouth captured hers again and his tongue shot through her parted lips, pouring his heat down her throat. He tasted dark and delicious: espresso with a hint of cinnamon.
She wanted him. Her breasts ached and her stomach was tight with want, and the rush of arousal between her legs surged through her senses. Sliding his hand into her panties, he buried his finger deep inside her, pinning her legs down when she started to buck.
“Fuck,” he groaned against her mouth.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, heat surging through her with such intensity that she thought she would blow up right then and there.
He pulled up and fumbled with his jeans, tugging them and his boxers down past his knees. “Dammit,” he said under his breath as he tried to push off his boots. He sat up and kicked them off, then lifted his T-shirt over his head. She watched as his muscles rippled and flexed with each movement, and then her eyes lowered and she licked her lips.
Bowing over her, he captured one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking and tugging it deep and hard. Her hands flew to his hair, pulling it and crushing his face against her breasts. He raised up and locked his gaze on hers while pinching her nipples painfully and deliciously.
“Feels so good,” she murmured. The pain mixed with pleasure hit her deep in her core, and she craved more, more, more.
His gaze danced over her skin before he grabbed her green panties and ripped them off, then spread her legs wide. “You’re so ready for me,” he said thickly as he stroked her with skillful fingers, sending electric sparks through her.
She writhed beneath him, gasping, and he slid his finger into her. Deep moans escaped her throat and she arched her back.
“Look at me, baby,” he said hoarsely.
She latched onto his smoky, dark gaze, sucking in a sharp breath when he plunged more fingers into her. She rocked her hips to meet his thrusts as every muscle coiled like a spring. Lowering his head between her legs, he kissed, licked, and teased while sliding in and out of her in a slow, even rhythm.
His heated gaze burned into hers as he raised his head. “You turn me inside out, woman. When I hold you close, kiss you, fuck you, I burn raw… deep down inside.”
His words touched her deeply, and she craved him with a hunger that was insatiable, a passion that scorched every part of her. Not only did lust sizzle through her, but the desire to simply be taken, to have him master her, to take her hard and swiftly enough to make her forget herself overwhelmed her.
“I want to surrender to you.” She dug her nails in his shoulders. I need you to help me trust again. To feel without any thoughts. To see sex as something beautiful each and every time. She threw her hands above her head.
Paco stared at her, his eyes dark with desire. “You like being tied up?”
“By you. Do you like it?” Maybe he’ll think I’m too damaged. A freak.
A wicked smile spread over his lips. Slowly he withdrew his fingers from her heat, locking his gaze with hers. “Yeah, babe. I like it. A lot.” Without breaking eye contact, he sucked her juices off his fingers, taking each one of them in his mouth. “You taste so fuckin’ sweet.” He leaned over and kissed her deeply, then jumped off the bed and went to the closet.
As she tasted herself on her lips, she watched how his firm ass rippled and his corded muscles strained against his taut skin. When he turned around, he held a black spreader bar with cuffs. She shivered as lust skittered up her spine.
The bed shifted under his weight, and he scanned her face. “You’re sure about this?” She nodded. “If it gets too much, tell me. What word do you want to use?”
Without hesitation she said, “Freedom.”
Holding up the bar, he nodded. Climbing over her body, he straddled her. “Give me your hand.” She complied, and he secured it in one of the soft cuffs. “Raise your arms,” he commanded.
She placed her arms over her head and he seized the bar, spreading it wide and hooking the middle of it to a ring on the headboard. He straddled her higher, his hard cock right next to her mouth. Swiping her tongue over his smoothness, she moaned.
He jerked away. “I’ll give you permission when to touch me.” The ominous tone of his voice made her throb and pulse with need.
He grabbed her other hand and fastened the cuff over her wrist, spread the bar out until her arms were outstretched and immovable, and locked it in the center. Her shoulders tightened and her sides felt as though they would tear open. She tried to move her arms, but he’d tightened it so there was no chance of any movement. Normally, when men had tied her up in the past, she’d been terrified, shutting her eyes and pretending to be in a different place until it was over, but with Paco, she found the experience incredibly empowering. She was submitting to him, and being unable to push him away allowed her to cross a limit—a boundary. Her trust in him enabled her to surrender and allow pleasure, while at the same time freeing herself from the chains of her past torments and demons.
“Keep your eyes open.” Bending over her, he skimmed his fingertips slowly down her body, bringing heat and the caress of breath on her skin. Coming back up, he switched his fingers for lips, scorching featherlight kisses over her skin and leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. He fisted her hair, yanking her head to meet his mouth, then crushed his on hers. Rough. Wet. Deep. He pressed his body into hers and she felt his arousal against her thigh, mere inches from her sopping pussy.
“Fuck me,” she whispered.
He froze, silence engulfing them for what seemed like an eternity to her.
“I call the shots. Not you,” he said harshly. His words skated from her hardened nipples to her aching sex.
More kissing, touching, and teasing. The rip of the condom packet sent a sparking bolt of anticipation through her, and she moaned as she watched him slide the sheath over his pulsing dick.
“I’m going to fuck you.” He spread her legs wider.
She sucked in her breath and quivered.
“You’re mine.” He pushed deep inside her, and a moan of pleasure escaped through her parted lips. She rocked her hips, taking in as much of him as she could. “You feel so fucking good,” he grunted, pulling out and then pushing back in. His rhythm was slow, steady, and deep—so deep. He pulsed inside her as he dipped his head down and devoured her breasts. She writhed beneath him as he went in and out, her legs wrapped around his waist, connecting to his hot flesh, yearning to touch his chest and face but unable to in her restrained position.
Paco grabbed her ankles and flung them over his shoulders, then began jackhammering into her hard and fast. For each thrust, he would pull all the way out and then bury it to the hilt, his balls slapping her folds. The muskiness of his arousal curled around her, and she breathed him in as he pounded her with abandon while bolts of white-hot pleasure streaked through her.
“Fuck, Chelsea,” he grunted before he leaned over and seized her mouth.
Every muscle began to tighten and her upper thighs quivered as a light sweat broke out over her body. She could feel the buildup as it went higher and higher, and then it burst. It was like melting and exploding at the same time—an intensity of sensation. She didn’t have any control over it, and it was liberating.
Paco dug his fingernails into her hips as he came, groani
ng and grunting, his gaze fixed on hers before he collapsed over her, his warm breath fanning over her neck. They had both come hard, lost in the moment where there were no memories, only the two of them and pleasure.
He raised his head and swiped his lips across hers as he eased out of her. “I gotta get you out of this,” he said, unfastening the cuffs.
When she lowered her arms, her muscles screamed. “That was incredible,” she said, watching him as he massaged her arms lightly.
“We’re good together. I haven’t felt this good with a woman since… well… in a long time. Better?” He pointed at her arms.
She nodded. He was going to say “Cassie.” Do you still love her, Paco? Can you ever let your heart love another woman? Me?
“You want something to drink?” He stood up and slipped his condom off.
“Some water would be good. You know, I’m clean. Bobby was always very careful about that. He didn’t want a reduction in his price or, God forbid, a refund.” She laughed dryly.
“The guy was a sonofabitch.”
“I only brought him up to let you know that I’m good. I was checked the day before I ran away. I’m on the pill too.”
He handed her a bottle of water and gently tugged her hair, tilting her head back. Kissing her tenderly, he stroked the side of her face. “I’ll keep that in mind, babe.” He threw back a shot of whiskey, then climbed on the bed. “I’m beat.”
She took two more sips of water and switched off the lamp. He drew her to him and she cuddled close to him. Soon she heard his deep, steady breathing and knew he was asleep.
Tomorrow I have to call Mom. Her stomach twisted at the thought. She wanted to see her mother and sister desperately, but she was afraid that would be the end of her relationship with Paco. Relationship? Is that what we have? I don’t think so. I’m not sure how he feels about me. Can he just walk away from me? I know I’ll miss him terribly.
Sighing, she wrapped her arm tighter around him and closed her eyes.
* * *
The clash of thunder woke Chelsea up. It was dark and raining outside, and she tucked the covers under her chin. She reached over and felt the warmth of Paco’s body, her nerves calming instantly. She was safe.
“Morning, beautiful,” he said in a sleepy voice.
She turned around and faced him, loving the tenderness that shone in his eyes. Sweeping his hair off his forehead, she smiled. “Your hair’s all messy.” He caught her hand and kissed it, then dipped his head and kissed her softly.
Another clap of thunder shook the windows. She jumped. “I hate thunderstorms.” She hugged his hand close to her as if it were a stuffed animal.
“I like them.” His hot breath warmed her face. “That’s how I met you.”
She snuggled his hand harder as she lay there letting the happiness soak into her skin. Just being near him lit her up inside, giving her a peace she had never really felt in her life. “Being here with you, lying next to you like this, is the favorite part of the day for me. I just want you to know that.”
The only sound in the room came from outside: raindrops pelleting the window, wind groaning through the trees, thunder crackling. She looked up at him through her lashes, and dread washed over her when she saw his clenched jaw and knitted brows.
I shouldn’t have shared that. Me and my fuckin’ big mouth! “I didn’t mean anything too emotional by what I said. I mean… like, I didn’t mean I love you or anything. It’s just that I feel safe, and I’m grateful for that. That’s all.”
But I do love you, Paco.
A blown-out sigh. “I’m glad you feel safe. You’ve got a lot of years to catch up on. You have to promise me that you’ll go to therapy when you go home.” He curled a few strands of her hair around his finger.
Shivers skated down her spine at the intimacy of his action. “I will.”
I don’t want to think of never seeing you again.
“Did you call your mom? We can leave in a couple of days. I just have to wait for Steel to get back.”
Two days is all the time we have left? A sliver of sadness pricked her. I wish Mom and Kate could come here and stay with me. I know that’s stupid, but I didn’t plan on falling for Paco. “I was going to call her this morning. I can’t wait to see her and my sister.” And I can’t. Swirling inside her was an emotional storm that had no ending in sight.
“Why don’t you give her a call while I’m washing up?” He kissed the top of her head.
“I was planning to.”
He swatted her backside. “Come on, lazy girl, it’s time to get on the phone. I have some business I need to discuss with Chains.” He rolled away and rose to his feet, and she watched his naked body walking to the bathroom. He looked over his shoulder and winked at her, then closed the door.
She sat up, picked up her cell phone, and went over to the window. The rain came down in sheets, bouncing off the asphalt and erasing the sun. She tapped in the number.
“Mom?”
“Chelsea. Thank God you called. I was so worried. You need to come home now.”
“I am. I’ll be there in three days. A friend is taking me.”
“I’ll wire you the money. Just get on a plane and come home.”
How could she explain to her mother that she needed Paco with her when she came home? She wasn’t the girl her family remembered. She’d be changed in ways no girl ever should be. Everything would be the same… except for her. Paco met her when she was broken. He understood about the demons, the memories, the pain. He had his own hell, betrayed love and innocent blood on his hands.
“I can’t take a plane. I don’t have any ID, Mom. I’ll be there in three days, I promise. I’ll call you when I’m on my way. Will Kate be home?”
“She already is. She can’t wait to see you. She’s out with friends right now.”
“Do you know these friends? You need to tell her to be careful. When we hang up, call her and make sure she’s okay. She doesn’t….” Her voice cracked.
“Oh, honey. Let’s not talk about it. You’ll be home soon. I left your room just like you had it. I never gave up hope.”
“Has anyone threatened you or been around the house?”
“No. I think this guy was lying to you. That’s what Peter thinks too. He used the love you have for your family to play mind games with you.”
“I don’t think so. Just be careful. Have you called the police?”
“Yes. They want to talk to you when you come home. Guess who’s here? Aunt Sandy. She wants to talk to you.”
Some shuffling sounds on the other end and then “Chelsea?”
“Hi, Aunt Sandy.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice. I couldn’t believe it when your mother told me you were safe. After all these years, you’re alive and safe.”
“Yeah. Are you still with Uncle Dave?”
“Yes. He’s here too. Hang on.”
Paco came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his trim waist and a few drops of water from his wet hair trailing down his chest. He smiled at her as he opened the top drawer and took out a pair of boxers.
“Chelsea? How’re you doing, kid?”
“I’m okay, Uncle Dave.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“We’re planning a big barbecue for when you get here.”
“In the middle of winter?” She laughed.
“I’ll grill the fucking steaks in twenty below if I have to. We’re giving you a barbecue. You still like ribs, right?”
Tears filled her eyes as memories of family gatherings punched their way through the dark shadows of her mind. As if sensing her discomfort, Paco came over and tugged her against his warm body. He brushed her hair aside and kissed her neck gently. “You’re okay.”
Nodding, she swallowed the lump in her throat. “I still love ribs,” she said.
“Where’re you staying?”
“With a friend?”
“Are you in Ohio?”
&nbs
p; “I have to go. Can you put Mom back on the phone? I’ll see you and Aunt Sandy in a few days.”
“Peter wants to talk to you.”
“I’d rather not. Please put Mom back on the phone.”
After she said her goodbyes, she put the phone down on the windowsill. Tremors invaded her and Paco guided her over to the chair, sank into it, and settled her on his lap. His arms cocooned around her, and all the emotions, the shame, the anxiety melted away in his embrace.
After several minutes, he rubbed her back in slow, soothing movements. “Your whole family’s waiting for you. You’ll get a hell of a homecoming.”
She wiped her nose. “Yeah. I have a ton of cousins. My mom was the oldest of seven, and my dad the youngest of five. My aunt Sandy and uncle Dave are closer to my age than they are to my mom’s. My aunt is the youngest.” She softly tugged the hairs on his forearm, smiling when his skin pebbled. “I don’t know if I can handle all this. I mean, they’re expecting me to be the me from before, but I’m not.”
“I’m not gonna lie to you—it’ll be hard. When I got back from my final tour, I’d been through so much that I felt like a fish out of water. No one got me. They were all the same and I was fucking different. The old me had died when I killed a group of kids and their mothers. Even though the women had bombs strapped to them and used the kids as human shields, it still hit me hard. It’s gonna be like that for you. You’re going to be changed, but no one else will be. They’ll expect you to act and do the same things you did before you disappeared, and it’s gonna fucking suck.”
“What did you do to get back on track?” she asked in a hushed voice.
“I joined the Night Rebels, and I never looked back. It was the best thing for me. Rooster, Army, and Scorpio had all done tours of duty. They understood, and the other brothers were there to lean on. We have a strong bond that no one and nothing can break. The brotherhood saved me.”
“What’s going to save me?” she whispered.
“You. You went through so much shit and you’re still standing. You should be ranting and vowing vengeance, but you’re not. You laugh, smile, and give me the true part of you when we’re together. If I were you, I would be frothing at the mouth, buying a gun, and swearing to kill every fucker who ever touched me. You got gumption and a whole lot of inner strength.”
