But that discussion will have to wait.
Listen to me, Jimmy, we’ve got to deal with Mara.
“I know.” He continues shuffling cards like he’s got all the time in the world. Which, of course, he does. “You want to know where I was? Hanging out with some family members. My dog Toby. He had bone cancer when I was ten. Man, it was good to see him again! He can play fetch forever. Literally.”
Well, that’s nice, Jimmy, and I really want to hear more, but for now...we’ve gotta get Mara to confess to your murder.
His blue gaze flicks to her. “I had no idea she was that messed up. I mean, our whole lives we lived right next door to each other. If I’d known she had a thing for me...I don’t know, maybe I would’ve dated her.”
And maybe she wouldn’t have killed you.
“Death’s unstoppable. Everything always turns out the way it should. I didn’t want to die before graduation, but it wasn’t my call. I had to accept it.” He plucks a card from the middle of the deck and holds it up to his forehead. I’m glad to see his gash is completely gone. “I have accepted it.”
Wait a minute. What have you done to my cards? Instead of the intricate gold leaf drawings on the card, there’s a boring old six of diamonds. I squint, trying to ignore Dan’s puzzled expression. After a while, he seems to register that I haven’t spaced out completely. He nods with understanding.
The diamond illustrations soon become a lot more interesting. Spinning slowly at first and then faster and faster. They sparkle like bona fide diamonds. The card’s background deepens in color, midnight blue.
“It’s the real thing, Keira. One of a kind. A gift.” Jimmy smiles cryptically. He flings the card at Mara’s feet and plucks out another. A wolf. Its golden eyes glint. Behind it, a pearlescent full moon rises.
For the first time in what seems like a million years, I grin from ear to ear. Only one person in this town, and most likely the world, has a Halverston Wolves keychain embellished with real gems.
Or had one. Jimmy. And now it’s in the hands of his killer.
“That’s his keychain in your hands there,” I say.
She opens her palm and looks at the keychain like it’s a wonder of the world. Sunlight catches the jewelled colors of the wolf insignia. Mara snaps her fingers over the keychain and pockets it. “No. Every second person in this town has a keychain just like this one.”
“Only one person had a keychain with real jewels in it. Jimmy.” I stare hard at Mara. Her mouth falls open a little. Guess she didn’t realize how valuable the key chain is. “You pushed him down the waterfall, you drove his car away. Then you panicked and abandoned it. But you didn’t get rid of the keys. Why not?”
She flinches, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. “You think this is your “Gotcha!” moment, Keira? You’ve got nothing.”
Maybe it’s because I’m out of arm’s reach or maybe it’s because I’m crazy, but I want to keep the pressure on her. “You took them as a souvenir. Isn’t that what killers do?”
Deep red blotches spread over her face and neck. Her words push through gritted teeth. “Don’t push me. I’m warning you.”
“Oh, you’re warning me?” My voice sounds strong, but my insides are wriggling with fear. “Did you warn Jimmy before you pushed him over the waterfall?”
“No!” Her scream reverberates across the valley. Birds flee the trees in protest. “It wasn’t like that!”
“Then tell me. What happened?”
Mara sends me a look of pure hate. She keeps her hands jammed in her pockets. The keys jangle.
The angrier she gets, the calmer I feel. Shaking my head, I chide, “You shouldn’t have taken the keys, Mara. Now they’re tying you to Jimmy’s murder. Big mistake.”
“It wasn’t a mistake!” she snaps. Her green eyes are wild. Unhinged. “I wanted to keep them. Not a souvenir like you said. To remind myself that…that I killed the one person I loved. I killed Jimmy and I couldn’t bring him back.”
Dan’s anguished moan reaches my ears. I tremble, knowing how hard it must be for him to hear Mara’s words. He lowers the phone.
I fight to keep my tone even. “So you confess?”
“To loving him?!” she shrieks.
Glossy brown strands of hair escape her high ponytail. The calm, straitlaced newspaper editor I thought I knew is unravelling before my eyes.
“To killing him!” Dan finally explodes. “Jesus, Mara. Why? Why did you kill my brother?”
Her eyes widen in shock. It’s like she only just noticed Dan on the cliff. Listening to everything. Seeing everything. Recording everything.
With a trembling finger, she points at the phone. She takes a step toward him. Her feet slip on the rocks, but she recovers. “What are you doing with that?”
“What does it look like?” he growls, standing his ground. Jimmy stands with him in solidarity. He guides Dan’s arm upward, keeping the camera trained on Mara. I’m not sure if Dan’s aware of his brother’s interference. “Anything you say will be used against you.”
Face red with fury, Mara whirls toward the waterfall. She looks over her shoulder at us defiantly. Her mouth twists in a grotesque smile. It turns my blood to ice. She inches closer to the edge.
As much as I hate Mara at this very moment, the last thing I want is for her to jump.
“Mara, get away from there. It’s a long way down. Come with us. We’ll take you to your mom.”
She frowns. “Keira, how stupid do you think I am? You’ll take me straight to Charlie.”
“How about you go straight to hell?” Dan suggests. And I’m pretty sure he means it.
“No.” Mara throws another chilling smile at him, at me. “I’m going to be with my Jimmy.”
Without another word, she leaps off the cliff.
And Jimmy, ever the hero, dives right after her.
Chapter Twenty-four
“Why did you save her, Jimmy?” I ask. It’s exactly a month after Jimmy had “flown” after Mara, taken her in his arms and helped her glide down the waterfall unharmed.
“Because you said I was a superhero. I had to live up to that,” Jimmy says. His grin fades a little. The waterfall shimmers down the cliff face, catching the orange glow from the bonfire Dan’s building. “No. I saved her because her story isn’t over. She has a lot of work ahead of her before her time’s up.”
Dan throws one last stick on the fire and clears his throat. “I’ll never get used to listening to your one-sided conversations.”
“I’m sorry, Dan. It’s just...Jimmy’s so real to me that I forget no one else can see him.” I turn my head and find Dan wearing a bittersweet smile. Quickly, I bring him up to speed.
“You won’t have to put up with this for much longer, bro,” Jimmy says with a laugh.
In a broken whisper, I ask him, “Does that mean you’re leaving us?”
“Soon. That big old floodlight’s coming for me, Keira. I got a preview of it.” He gives an enigmatic smile, and my heart twinges.
I’m happy for him. I am. It’s just that I’ve gotten used to having him around, enjoyed having a real friendship with an old crush.
He goes on, “That night I left you guys here at the waterfall, said I had something to do? My mom’s parents came to meet me. They showed me the murder. Showed me what was in Mara’s head. That girl’s really sick.” Jimmy gazes into the fire for the longest time. Finally, he says something that rocks me. “If you ever get the chance...tell her that, despite what she did, I forgive her.”
I splutter. I don’t wait for Dan to give me a cue. I tell him right away and he looks like someone’s slugged him in the gut.
“Sounds crazy, right?” Jimmy grins at us. “But...I realized that how I died doesn’t matter. It was all part of a story. My story. Whatever happens to Mara now, well, that’s her story. If there’s no justice down here, then things will catch up to her in the afterlife. It’s different for everyone. Leave it to the guy upstairs to take care of it.”
; I stared at him wide-eyed. “Wait, are you...are saying there’s really...a guy? A god?”
“Oops, I wasn’t supposed to tell you living people.” He grins and the sparkle in his eyes tells me he’s kidding around. “Seriously, I haven’t met a head coach, let alone God. Just loads of relatives I hadn’t seen in years. They told me not to worry, that we’re all being looked after. You’re just gonna have to trust in that. And forgive the people who cross you.”
“How can you be so...so damn philosophical?”
He guffaws. “Is that meant to be an insult? Ouch!”
Tears sting my eyes. I swipe them away. “Mara took you away from everyone you loved because she couldn’t have you all to herself. Why should I forgive her?”
A gentle smile haunts his lips. “If I can do it, you can do it. Think of it this way, you’ll earn heavenly brownie points.”
“Don’t talk to me about brownies.”
Jimmy laughs at my comment. It’s a throaty, contagious laugh that almost makes me forget about murderous Mara.
He seems a million times wiser now. Clearly, he has evolved since he died. He’s practically the Dalai Lama now? He moves to the bottom of the waterfall. A flurry of droplets splashes over him. He cranes his neck. “Long way up... and down.”
I follow his gaze. “What do you want to do?”
“Walk on water.” He turns around and does just that. His sneakers glide across the surface.
Dan laughs when I relay what’s happening, but there’s a wistfulness lurking in his eyes. I wish he could talk directly with Jimmy one last time. I stand closer to him and take his hand. Jimmy mimics throwing a football, then pumps his fist triumphantly.
I shield my eyes as sunlight hits the waterfall.
“What are you doing?” Dan asks. He’s facing the water and he isn’t even squinting.
Waving at the waterfall, I say, “It’s so bright.”
In an instant, Jimmy’s by my side. His face is full of wonder. Color leaches from the landscape. “It’s awesome, huh?”
“Incredible,” I murmur, basking in the warmth. My hand curls harder around Dan’s. He gives me an answering squeeze. “It’s your time, Jimmy.”
“Yeah.” He looks down at me, a sad half-smile on his lips. “I’ll miss you.”
I laugh. “Don’t be dumb. I bet you can’t wait to get away from me.”
“Well, you do snore. That part I can live without.” He sighs heavily. “I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if you and your grandma weren’t around to help me out. Probably be spending my afterlife in the guys’ locker room.”
I grin at the sour turn in his expression. “You would’ve found your way to the girls’ showers sooner or later.”
He fakes indignation and punches me lightly in the shoulder. Stepping around me, he throws an arm around his brother. Tears glint in Jimmy’s eyes. As he moves around in the sunlight, his ghostly body shimmers like it always does...and yet he now appears solid. Just as he did in life.
Dan gapes. He swiftly turns toward Jimmy. In a voice filled with wonder, he says, “I can see you!”
“For real?” Jimmy and I say at the same time.
“Holy shit, I can hear you, too.” Dan laughs.
“Whoa, now you tell me you’re psychic?” Jimmy squeezes his brother tight.
“Clairvoyant. Right, Keira?” Dan couldn’t look happier if he’d been won a million dollars. And I bet he’d choose Jimmy over money.
“Right,” I say, chuckling. I’m not sure if Dan has suddenly been granted superpowers from above. Maybe it’s got something to do with Jimmy’s aura being so strong, so close to heaven.
“Hey, man, I...” Jimmy begins, holding his brother by the shoulders. “So much I need to say to you.”
When Jimmy can’t seem to find any words, I tell him, “I know it’s corny, but just say whatever’s in your heart.”
Jimmy swallows hard and nods. He holds out his hand. “I love you, man.”
The brothers cling to one another as tight as they can.
Meanwhile, the Light grows even brighter and...I don’t know...palpable. I feel it envelop me, but at the same time, it’s not quite touching. It’s holding me at arm’s length. Jimmy finally draws away from Dan.
“I really have to go.” Something in his voice tells me he’s not entirely cut up about it. He’s excited, ready to move on.
I do my best to sound casual, like saying goodbye to him forever isn’t cutting me to the bone. “You’ve got things to do. Dead NFL players to meet.”
“I want to go.” Excitement puts a tremor in Jimmy’s voice. At the same time, tears blur my vision.
“This is really it, isn’t it?” Dan asks, and I nod. He sucks in a long, shuddering breath. “Jimmy, you can’t go yet. I...I haven’t said everything I’ve wanted to say to you for years.”
Jimmy laughs. “Bro, I just want to hear one thing from you.”
Dan blurts, “I love you, Jimmy.”
A wide grin breaks out on Jimmy’s face, and in that moment, I see the Light isn’t just all around us. It’s coming from Jimmy. Pure and full of love, full of joy. He wraps his arms around his brother and whispers words I can’t hear. I doubt Dan can, yet he nods as if listening intently. He pulls away from Dan and scoops me up in a hug.
“Keira, ordinarily, I’d flirt with you and say maybe there’s a chance for us in another lifetime,” he says, ever the egotist. “But that would be wrong.”
I give Jimmy a watery smile, and whisper, “I know. You’re like the brother I always wanted.”
He squeezes my arm, then starts backing away. “Thanks, Keira. For everything. I’ll come check on you. Make sure you’re passing History.”
“Take care of Grandie for me,” I say, sniffling as he nods vigorously. “And be careful with that leg when you score touchdowns on the other side.”
He glances over his shoulder and smiles, “Keira, Keira, Keira. There’s more to life and death than football. You’ll see...a long time from now.”
Jimmy ascends the rocky staircase. Step by step, his sinewy form grows transparent until eventually he disappears. The heavenly light dims. Dan and I stand fixated for the longest time, each of us lost in our own thoughts, our own memories.
A sharp crack in the fire finally shatters the spell.
“He’s gone. He’s really gone.” I stare into the fire.
Tears run down Dan’s face, but he manages a brave smile. “He’s happy, though, right? At peace?”
“He is. He’s exactly where he deserves to be.” I nudge Dan onto another subject. “So is your keychain worth a bundle, too?”
“No. My over-the-top grandparents had Jimmy’s made by a jeweler when he won the state championship.” He grimaces. “They wanted to give me one, too, but I’ve still got the fantastic plastic version. I asked Gramps to put the money toward my college fund instead.”
“Hmm, sensible.”
Chortling, he says, “I’m not sensible. It’s fair to say we’ve both been stubborn and more than a little stupid. Me especially.”
“Yeah, speak for yourself!” I say, punching him lightly. He’s right, though. We wasted so much time. “I missed talking to you every day. You know, the way we did in the BC era.”
“BC?”
“Before Closet. Becky’s closet,” I explain. Dan laughs, and I laugh along with him.
He grows serious and pulls me close. His heart thumps against mine. It hardly seems proper. We’ve just said our last goodbye to his brother, and now all I want to do is make out with Dan.
The world suddenly tilts, and he’s kissing me. Hard. Soft. Hard again. Our tongues touch for a brief, thrill-ridden second, making us both freeze in wonder. Then in an instant our mouths draw together hungrily again. We cling to each other as if weathering a storm, afraid to let go.
Laughter and good-natured teasing echo against the granite cliffs. Dan keeps me plastered to his chest as a bunch of kids enter the clearing. Their collective joy is infectious.
>
When Grandie died, I didn’t want to feel happiness; it seemed impossible to even chuckle at a sitcom. But that was before the gift of second sight landed on my doorstep. There is life after death for those who move on to another plane, and for those left behind. There are terrible endings—terminal diseases, murders—but great beginnings are always a heartbeat away.
Dan brushes hair from my cheek. Is it possible for my skin to ignite just from his touch?
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Huskily, I say, “I know what we can do. Go back to our beginning. Find a few minutes in Becky’s closet.”
He lands a kiss on my lips. “Sounds like heaven.”
* * *
Acknowledgements
To my editor, Meredith Rich, thank you for making my life-long dream come true. You’ve helped this book sparkle. To Sonia Palmisano in the Sydney office and everyone at Bloomsbury Publishing, your enthusiasm is infectious and much appreciated. Beth Miller, you amaze me with your persistence and faith in my work. My eternal gratitude goes to you, Robin Rue and Writers House literary agency.
Heartfelt thanks to my stellar critique partners—Anna Campbell, Kim MacCarron, Pintip Dunn, Stephanie Kuehnert, Sara Hantz, Amanda Ashby and Annie West. The impact you’ve each made on my life and my writing is beyond measure. To Kandy Shepherd, Sharon Archer, Tina Ferraro, Erica O’Rourke, Shea Berkley and Sharon Lynn Fisher, your friendship and wise words mean so much to me.
I’m indebted to Javier Arriaga (the best boss in the galaxy), Linda Baker, Alison Myers and all my colleagues. # Ta-da! #
I’ve waited a long time to put the Model School in my liner notes—thank you, Brendan Wixted, Elvis Castro, Craig Allan and the Dr. Rhythm drum machine. Much of this book was written while listening to your songs.
Brinsley and Wade, Scott and Renae, Helen C, Lindsay, Ella, PBS, Murray, Brett, Ally, Ann H, thank you for your enduring friendship and cheerleading efforts. To Dan and Sam, uncommonly good neighbors—thank you!
A group hug to my gangs—the Ruby-Slippered Sisterhood, the Unsinkables, the MargaRITAs, the Dreamweavers, Dauntless, the Tick Club, and the Sparkies.
This is Your Afterlife Page 19
