All I Ever Wanted

by Francis Ray

  But she wasn’t enough. Fighting the aching knowledge and the misery, Naomi stood with Kayla in her arms and started for the living room.

  Chapter 8

  Wednesday afternoon, Sierra knocked on Naomi’s door precisely at six thirty as they’d agreed. Naomi stood in the middle of the living room, her stomach in knots. Homeownership was a huge step. As much as she wanted a house for her and Kayla, a nagging doubt that she wasn’t ready for all the responsibilities it entailed kept circling her.

  “It’s Mrs. Sierra.” Kayla straightened from shoving the curtain away from the front window. “She’s here to show us a house. I could get a puppy if we have a house.”

  Her daughter hadn’t forgotten about the puppy, but at least she was smiling today. She’d moped around the house and at school for the past two days. She missed Richard. If Naomi were truthful, she’d admit to missing him as well.

  Richard was rock-steady and had a way of making her feel she could do anything. With her heart beating out of control, she could certainly use some of his encouragement now. It wasn’t going to happen. She was on her own. She had to stiffen her spine and take control of her life.

  Her shoulders straightening, she took a few calming breaths. It was past time she learned to stand on her own.

  “Open the door, Mama,” Kayla urged. Since her father’s attempt to kidnap her, she no longer rushed to open the door—unless it was Catherine or Richard.

  Naomi rubbed her damp palm down the side of her simple white sundress and finally opened the door. “Hi, Sierra.”

  “Good afternoon, Naomi, Kayla,” Sierra greeted. “It’s a beautiful day to go house hunting.”

  Kayla came to stand in front of Naomi. “When we find one, Mama says I might be able to have a puppy. Dr. Richard would help me find one.” Briefly she tucked her head. “I don’t think he’d be too busy.”

  All Naomi could do was place her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. Somehow she’d make it up to her.

  “Neither do I,” Sierra said. “Richard is the kind of guy who would always be there for his friends.” She caught the initial excitement of Kayla but, on the other hand, her mother looked scared to death. With any other person Sierra might have reached out to reassure her; she wasn’t sure how Naomi would react. In her association she had seen the woman relax only a few times. And always Richard had been there.

  “Did you change your mind about Richard coming with us?”

  Naomi’s big brown eyes widened. “No. He’s busy.”

  “But I told you, Mama, he said if we needed him, he’d come.”

  Moistening her lips, Naomi caught Kayla’s hand. “Kayla, we’re not going to have this discussion again.”

  The young child tucked her head. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Naomi lifted hers, swallowed. “We’re ready when you are.”

  “We’ll take my car.” Sierra stepped back outside. “There are three houses I want you to look at.”

  Naomi released Kayla’s hand to lock the door, then tested the locks to ensure they were secure before turning to Sierra. “I know real estate is expensive in Santa Fe even with the recession. Like I told you, we don’t need much, but I want Kayla to have a backyard with a swing.”

  “And a puppy.” Kayla’s head came up.

  Sierra laughed. “It’s on my list. This way. I couldn’t find a spot closer.”

  “That’s all right,” Naomi told her. “Residents and guests disregard the parking policy all the time.”

  They were several feet from Sierra’s BMW SUV when a black truck pulled into the parking lot and came to a screeching halt behind Sierra’s vehicle. Before the driver could get out, two men came out of nowhere. One stepped in front of Sierra, the other converging on the driver’s side of the Dodge Ram.

  Naomi sucked in her breath, grabbed for Kayla, but her daughter was already moving toward the truck. “Dr. Richard!”

  Sierra rolled her eyes, and tried without success to step around Aaron’s wide frame. “Paul. Aaron. You know Richard and his truck.”

  “He blocked you in. There could be someone crouched in the front seat or backseat.”

  “Aaron—”

  “We stand or I call Rio.”

  Sierra blew out an irritated breath. And he’d call Blade. “Then check it out before you frighten my newest client.”

  “Sorry, Mrs. Reese,” Aaron said, but he didn’t sound sorry. “Paul?”

  “Clear,” the other man yelled.

  Richard came around the front end of the truck, a hard frown on his face. “Sorry.”

  Sierra noted he had eyes only for Naomi. He didn’t look any sorrier than Aaron had sounded. Richard she’d forgive.

  “Dr. Richard.” This time Kayla managed to pull free and, with her arms already open and upraised, ran to him. His face changed in the blink of an eye, warmth and love filling it.

  “How’s my best girl?” he asked, scooping up Kayla in his arms, the motion easy and practiced. Sierra smiled secretly. She just loved being right. Her mother wasn’t the only matchmaker in the family.

  “I told Mama you weren’t too busy to come see us,” she said. “See, Mama.”

  Naomi didn’t know what to do or say. Her heart rate shifted into overdrive. She didn’t want to care for him, get used to him. She didn’t want him to want her. Caring about a person too much meant being vulnerable. She was doing this for both of them.

  “Hello, Richard,” Sierra greeted cheerfully. “I guess you were in the neighborhood and decided to stop by.”

  “Yes. Hello, Naomi.”

  Hearing her name on his lips shouldn’t make her want things better left unsaid. Naomi wanted to look away from him, but somehow she couldn’t. She deserved his condemnation, yet that wasn’t what she saw in his eyes. It was bewilderment, hurt. He should know better than anyone that she couldn’t be what he wanted.

  “You just caught us,” Sierra said. “We were about to go look at houses.”

  Naomi’s gaze jerked to Sierra. He’d want to go. He couldn’t.

  Richard hated the fear and uncertainty in Naomi’s eyes. What gave him hope were the unguarded moments of happiness, and the frank female interest he’d seen in the past when she forgot to be scared and just enjoyed life. Those moments were precious few, and that’s why he treasured them so much.

  Her bastard of an ex-husband had abused her, made her afraid to trust, but Richard was a patient man, perhaps too patient. He usually backed down when she was unsure because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but those days were long gone.

  “I’m glad I caught you,” he said. “I told Naomi that you were the best.”

  “I try,” Sierra said, then laughed.

  Naomi swallowed. Her heart was thudding in her chest. She clenched the leather strap of her purse. Sierra and Fallon relished life while Naomi ran from it.

  “Mama, you forgot to say hi to Dr. Richard,” Kayla chided, one arm around his neck, the other holding Teddy.

  Naomi felt her face heat. “Hello, Richard.”

  “You were going to let me go with you when Sierra took you to look at houses,” he reminded her. “Looks like I arrived just in time.”

  Naomi’s gaze darted to him then away. The disappointment in his voice was worse than if he’d yelled at her—something he’d never do. But better that than either of them wanting something that could never be. “Kayla and I have taken enough of your time. I didn’t want to bother you.”

  “Have I ever given you that impression?”

  The hurt in his voice was so unexpected her head came up. “N-no.”

  “And I never will.” He turned to Sierra. “We’ll follow you in my truck.” Setting Kayla to her feet, he reached for Naomi’s arm, his hand gently closing on her forearm.

  He could blame Sierra’s bodyguards or her ex, but Richard was afraid this time the blame rested squarely on his shoulders. And it made his heart clench to know Naomi was afraid of him, even if it wasn’t physical

  Her eyes widen
ed, but she allowed him to take her arm and gently lead her to his truck. Feeling her shiver, he wanted to curse again. If he ever saw her ex again, he was taking a shot at the bastard.

  * * *

  Sierra turned to Aaron. “Mentioning Rio was low.”

  “And effective,” he said, his expression unchanged.

  Sierra’s eyes narrowed. She’d push, but the results would be the same. They didn’t want to have a “chat” with Rio, and she didn’t want to have one with Blade. “I don’t suppose it would do any good to tell you to back off since Richard is going.”

  “It’s nice you know us so well, Mrs. Navarone,” Aaron said.

  Sierra’s brow arched. They might call Blade by his last name, but she preferred to be called Sierra, which they usually did. Addressing her as Mrs. Navarone was a none-too-subtle reminder of whom she was married to. She’d never forget that she was blessed to have the one man she’d love through eternity, but she did enjoy having her way and calling the shots.

  “And since Dr. Youngblood will be following you, I don’t suppose you’ll go through any lights on caution,” Aaron went on to say.

  Sierra stuck her tongue in her cheek. “Just keeping you on your toes. It must be boring guarding me.”

  Aaron grunted. So did the man standing a short distance away.

  Laughing, Sierra got inside her SUV. Richard backed up for her to pull out, but she waited until her two shadows were in the Mercedes. She never thought she’d get used to men watching her every move, but if it made Blade’s life easier, she’d do it. And have a bit of fun in the process she thought, already planning to “test” her bodyguards before she returned home.

  * * *

  “I did a drawing for you, Dr. Richard. It’s in my art book.”

  “You did? Thanks, pumpkin. I’ll look at it when I take you and your mother home,” Richard said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Naomi start.

  “That isn’t necessary,” Naomi said, staring straight ahead at Sierra’s SUV.

  “I think it is.” He glanced at the Mercedes keeping pace with him. He’d forgotten about the bodyguards. All he’d been thinking about was keeping Naomi from leaving him.

  “How was school this week?” he asked.

  “It was the best,” Kayla said. “A lady came to the school to interview me and took a picture of me and my classmates and everything. I wanted to call and tell you about it.”

  Naomi threw a glance at Richard, swallowed and looked away. Kayla was innocently revealing her mother’s lies.

  “I read the article,” he said, signaling to turn behind Sierra. “You did a good job on the interview. I was proud of you.”

  “Fallon helped me cut out the article. I saved it for you. I just knew that you wouldn’t be too busy and come back.”

  Naomi had always wanted Kayla to be open, proud of her intellect and vocabulary. She hadn’t thought it would come back to haunt her.

  Richard glanced over to see Naomi’s fingers digging into the purse in her lap. He had to grip the steering wheel to keep from reaching over and placing his hand on hers, telling her it would be all right.

  “How are the puppies?” Kayla asked.

  “Getting fat,” he said, pulling up behind Sierra. Her bodyguards’ car pulled in front of her. She started to get out, but one of the man reached her first. He could see her roll her eyes when Aaron held out his hand. After a few seconds, she placed something in his hand.

  Going up the cracked sidewalk, he opened the front door and went in. The other man hung back on the sidewalk. They weren’t taking any chances.

  Richard didn’t mind the wait while they checked out the house. “With your mother’s permission, you’ll have to come see them.”

  “Mama said if we get a house she’d think about letting me have a puppy.” Kayla unbuckled her seat belt and scooted forward. “I told her I’d take real good care of it.”

  “Like Teddy, a puppy would be happy to come live with you.”

  Aaron came back to the front door, handed Sierra the key, then stood to one side of the wide porch.

  Unbuckling his seat belt, Richard opened the back door and helped Kayla out. Naomi was already standing on the sidewalk.

  “This is the first of the three houses today,” Sierra said as she met Naomi on the sidewalk. “It’s a three-bedroom, one-and-a half bath, Seventeen hundred square feet. It’s in need of the most repairs, but it’s the least expensive.”

  Naomi could feel Richard watching her. Usually he wasn’t so obvious.

  “Let’s go see, Mama.”

  “I like a woman who knows what she wants,” Sierra said with a laugh. “Come on, Kayla. Let’s go see if you and your mother like this one.” Kayla and Sierra disappeared inside the stucco-and-wood house.

  Naomi started after them, very much aware that Richard was behind her. She should be excited about the house, but what kept coming back were the lies she’d told her daughter.

  “I think we’re falling behind.”

  She turned. It had to be said. He could have outed her and he hadn’t. “Thank you.”

  “I want what’s best for you and Kayla. Remember that.”

  “Come on, Mama.” Kayla came back to the front door. “There’s a fireplace in here.”

  “We could roast marshmallows,” Richard called, stepping around Naomi and going into the house.

  Standing there, she wasn’t sure why she felt so alone. This was what she’d wanted.

  “Coming?” Richard asked, one foot on the porch, and one on the cracked sidewalk.

  “Yes.” Naomi hurried into the house.

  * * *

  None of the houses was what Naomi was looking for. She almost hated to tell Sierra. She just had a vague idea of what she wanted. She was horrible at decorating so she couldn’t visualize how her furnishings would look or how to turn the place into something warm and inviting, like Catherine’s house. “I’m sorry, but none of them seem right. They’re in my price range, but…” Her voice trailed off.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Sierra said as they stood in front of the last house. “You’ll know it when you walk inside. Sometimes it’s fast, but it could take months. We’ll find the house. I want you to find a house that you and Kayla will love, not one that you’ll regret buying.”

  “And a place for a puppy,” Kayla interjected.

  Sierra smiled. “You remind me of me when I was your age.”

  Naomi was a bit startled by the compliment. Her facial expression must have showed it.

  “She isn’t swayed from what she wants,” Richard explained.

  “Exactly.” Sierra hugged her iPad case to her chest. “I had a lioness for a mother and four strong brothers. As the baby of the family, I had to assert myself.”

  “You were headstrong and would dare the devil if I remember correctly,” Richard reminded her. “You still are.”

  “Yes, I was and look how fantastic my life turned out.” Sierra bent to eye level with Kayla. “Always go after what you want. It makes life more interesting.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Kayla said.

  Naomi wasn’t sure if she liked the advice Sierra gave her daughter or not, but considering how Naomi had tried to please everyone at the expense of her own happiness, perhaps Sierra’s way was the best. More than anything, Naomi wanted her daughter to be happy.

  Sierra straightened and turned to Naomi. “I can take you back to your apartment.”

  “Thanks—”

  “No, Mama,” Kayla interrupted, no longer smiling as she stared up at her mother. “Dr. Richard is going to take me to see the puppies. Remember?”

  “I can’t compete with that.” Sierra laughed. “Good-bye.”

  Naomi watched Sierra walk down the sidewalk. All she had to do was say something. She couldn’t. Kayla wasn’t going to suffer because of her mother’s insecurities.

  “Come on, Kayla.” Richard held out his hand. Kayla immediately grasped it. “Let’s get you buckled up.”

 
Once again, he walked away, leaving Naomi behind. Slowly she followed, trying to figure out why he was keeping his distance from her. Worse, since that was exactly what she wanted, why was it making her so unhappy?

  Opening the front passenger door, she climbed inside. He seemed more interested in Kayla than her. He’d moved on. She should be glad, she thought as he pulled away from the sidewalk.

  Somehow, she wasn’t.

  * * *

  Richard was totally aware of the furtive glances Naomi keep throwing at him, her furrowed brow, as if she was trying to figure him out. Good. Perhaps giving her the space she obviously wanted was making her realize that that wasn’t really what she wanted. Hovering over her certainly hadn’t helped.

  Unlocking the door to his clinic, he snapped on the light and shut off the alarm. Kayla had eagerly followed him. Naomi looked as if she wasn’t sure what to do next.

  “You can wait here, if you want,” he told Naomi.

  “Don’t you want to see the puppies, Mama?” Kayla asked. “You could get one, too, so it would have someone so it wouldn’t be lonely when I’m at school.”

  A small smile curved the corners of Naomi’s mouth. She stepped inside and brushed her hand across her daughter’s head. “The puppy isn’t definite and I think one is enough—if I decide to let you have one.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Kayla’s head fell.

  “It wouldn’t hurt to go look, I suppose,” Naomi said.

  Kayla’s head lifted. She grabbed her mother’s hand. “Mama is going with us, Dr. Richard.”

  “This way.” He went to the back were the animal cages were kept. He didn’t have any animals boarding at the time. Opening the door, he turned on the lights. “The mom and her litter are in the second cage.”

  Releasing her mother’s hand, Kayla rushed to the cage, her eyes wide as she sank to her knees. “Oh, Mama, aren’t they beautiful?”

  Naomi edged closer. “And just as fat as Richard said.”

  She’d said his name. Progress.

  The five mixed-breed puppies were snuggled against their mother, sleeping. He’d told Kayla about the puppies, not that the mother had been tied to the front door of his clinic in labor. It was well known around town that he’d take in pets the owner no longer wanted. The inhumane treatment of humans of one another and of animals never ceased to amaze and anger him.