The dream date group had traipsed through the casino at the Bellagio. Agony and Heartburn, arm in arm, then called it a night. It had been a long day for everyone.
Regan undressed and stepped into the shower. The warm water hitting her shoulders and the back of her neck felt wonderful. This will help me sleep, she thought. I wish I could call Jack and give him the latest, but it’s the middle of the night in New York. Wait till he finds out that it’s not necessarily the contestants we have to worry about, it’s the judges. Knowing Jack, he wouldn’t be surprised.
What surprised Regan was that there was turndown service at the Fuzzy Dice. Her dicey bedspread had been removed, folded up, and draped over the dicey chair at the desk. A little chocolate mint had been placed on her pillow. That was a concept Regan never quite understood. Chocolate contained caffeine, which kept most people awake. Why not put a slice of turkey on the pillow? There was a chemical in turkey that put people to sleep, as anyone who’s had a big Thanksgiving meal surely knows. The third Thursday afternoon in November, snores resounded all across America. Oh, well…
Regan stepped out of the shower, dried off, and put on a pair of light cotton pajamas. She made sure the lock on the door was bolted and placed her sneakers next to the bed. She didn’t know why, but in this place she wanted to be able to run at a moment’s notice. I should probably sleep in my clothes, she thought wryly.
When she lay down on the bed and got under the sheets that were not exactly made of the finest materials, she sighed. What did I get myself into? she wondered. In her mind she went over everything that had happened that day: Danny received a threatening letter. Barney fell and ended up in the hospital. She tripped. Roscoe threw everyone out of the studios at five o’clock. Elsa won the big bucks. Danny’s parents showed up. The mail was stolen. And, of course, the revelation of Uncle Heartburn’s problems with his ex. All this capped off by the dream date at Carlotta’s.
Forget the Balloon Channel. This should be on 60 Minutes.
Regan reached over and shut off the light. She punched the pillow a couple of times and settled in. Even though she felt surrounded by craziness and was somewhat befuddled about what to do next, she quickly fell fast asleep.
Tuesday, October 7
41
R oscoe and Kitty drove to the grounds of the Balloon Channel complex when it was still dark. In between yawns, Kitty took little sips from her mug of coffee. Roscoe was eyeing the skyline with delight as it started to brighten.
“Yup. We’ll be up, up, and away in just a little while.” Roscoe pointed to the sun that was just starting to peek over the horizon.
“I’m going to need a nap before tonight,” Kitty said with a yawn.
“But you’ll have had a spiritual experience to begin your day.”
“I had some kind of experience when the alarm clock went off.”
“Kitty, did you know that hot air balloons were used in warfare?” Roscoe asked, not waiting for an answer. “Soldiers used to follow the movements of the advancing enemy from up in a balloon. Others escaped war-torn cities only because they got out by balloon. And the modern hot air balloon was really produced as a military tool nearly fifty years ago by a man named Ed Yost. But hot air ballooning ended up more as a sport than anything. And I’m so glad it did. Kitty?”
Kitty’s eyes were closed. They felt glued together. With all her might, she opened them. “Yes, Roscoe.”
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Something about balloons.”
“Never mind.”
They pulled into the parking lot of the Balloon Channel complex which was now very quiet. There were a few cars parked in the lot. Roscoe had ordered the night crew to leave by 3 A.M. He didn’t want the folks working at the ballooning company running into them.
Roscoe parked the Jaguar, and they walked across the field to the little bungalow that housed the ballooning business. Inside the bungalow, Roscoe’s pilot, Marty, and his crew were drinking coffee and eating doughnuts.
“The wind is light,” Marty observed. “A perfect day for ballooning.”
“Well, let’s get going,” Roscoe said enthusiastically.
They went back outside where the crew went about getting the balloon ready for flight, spreading out the balloon’s envelope, which was its fabric, and moving the inflation fan into place. They attached the safety line to the chase truck and made sure the pilot handed over the keys. There was a nip in the air, and that wonderful, fresh, early morning smell was invigorating to all. Suddenly from the parking lot a couple came running toward them.
“Can we get a ride?” they called, waving their arms. “We tried to call earlier, but there was no answer. We just got married last night in the Graceland Wedding Chapel.”
Roscoe looked at Kitty. “Is it all right with you? I thought we’d just go up ourselves with Marty.”
“I’m not awake yet, so it doesn’t matter to me.”
“Come on over,” Roscoe called back to them.
The couple seemed very youthful. The bride had a flower in her hair and a long granny dress. The groom had on a blue jacket and khaki pants. She had long dark hair, and he was blond. They looked madly in love.
“My name is Kimberly, and this is my husband,” she said and paused. “Oh, I just love saying that! This is the first time I ever used that word! Husband!”
“Jake’s my name,” he said with a goofy grin. “Can we go inside and buy tickets?”
“This is my balloon. It’s on me,” Roscoe said magnanimously and proceeded to introduce himself, Kitty, and Marty to the young couple. When the balloon was inflated, they all climbed into the wicker basket while the ground crew held it in place. Marty squeezed the blast valve, and a column of fire shot up into the balloon. It sounded like the roar of a dragon. One by one, as ordered by Marty, the ground crew let go of the basket. They stepped back as the balloon started its gentle ascent into the early morning sky. Marty squeezed the valve again, and it shot another blue flame up into the balloon. They rose higher and higher. Everything below seemed to be shrinking. The ground crew quickly secured the launch equipment and jumped into the chase truck, determined to keep up with the balloon’s progress.
“We’re floating,” Kimberly whispered dreamily.
“It’s like being in the arms of God,” Roscoe declared.
Kitty felt a little queasy but knew that she had to grin and bare it.
“So you got married in the Graceland Chapel?” Roscoe asked.
“By an Elvis impersonator. It was so cool,” Jake answered.
“So totally, totally cool,” Kimberly agreed. “‘Love Me Tender’ is our song.”
“Was it a spur-of-the-moment decision to get married?” Kitty asked, her brow furrowed.
“Kind of.” Kimberly giggled. “We got the marriage license yesterday afternoon.”
“Where are you from?” Roscoe asked.
“Los Angeles.”
“And where did you meet?”
“At an audition.”
“You’re actors?”
“Yes. Neither one of us has had much luck yet, but we’re trying super hard,” Kimberly explained, “super, super hard. Right, Jake?”
“Oh, yeah. It’s tough to get a break down there, you know?” Jake laughed, pointing at the desert below. “But the two of us are going to make it together.”
Inwardly, Kitty grimaced. I give this union a year. Two at the most, she reflected. She took a deep breath and didn’t dare glance over the basket. Instead, she trained an adoring gaze on Roscoe.
Roscoe stroked his chin, then banged his ever present riding crop on the basket. “I just thought of a perfect wedding present for you two.”
“A present?” Kimberly repeated. “It’s a wonderful gift to just let us come up in the balloon for free.”
“That’s true,” Roscoe agreed. “But I have an even better present. Some folks are putting together a sitcom for me. They’re taping it this Friday. I’ll tell them to write you b
oth in.”
Kimberly started jumping up and down but was quickly subdued.
“Stop it!” Marty ordered.
“I’m sorry! Oh, but thank you. Thank you so much!” Kimberly threw her arms around Roscoe.
“Thank you!” Jake echoed. “We’ll have to find a place to stay.”
“Don’t you have a hotel room?” Roscoe inquired, freeing himself from Kimberly’s grip.
“No. We drove here yesterday in my old car. We’re lucky we didn’t break down in the middle of the desert. I’ve heard of people that happened to who died of sunstroke and dehydration.”
“Yeah,” Kimberly finished the story. “They forgot to pack water—and a wide-brimmed hat.”
“Well, stay with us,” Roscoe offered enthusiastically. “Kitty and I live in a big old mansion outside of town. There’s a swimming pool. We’re having a party tonight.”
“Thank you, thank you!” Kimberly cried again, now grasping Roscoe’s hand. “You remind me so much of my grandpa.”
Roscoe’s face fell as Kitty tried to stifle a laugh.
“Are you two married?” Kimberly asked.
“Nope,” Kitty answered.
“My grandpa has a girlfriend, too. My mother keeps saying, ‘All she’s after is his pension.’ ”
Roscoe chuckled, but Kitty felt like throwing her overboard as the balloon drifted through the early morning sky. And this little chippy is going to be at the house for the next three days, she thought with irritation. I just know Roscoe’s whole scheme is going to boomerang on him and end up kicking him in the butt.
“Roscoe,” Jake observed, “you are one cool dude.”
“I try.” Roscoe smiled broadly. “I try.”
The group settled into a peaceful silence as Marty skillfully guided the balloon. Kimberly and Jake had their arms wrapped around each other, thinking about all their future plans, Roscoe surveyed the ground below, thinking how he would one day rule Vegas, and Kitty stood huddled in the middle, thinking about the fact that she was freezing.
Finally, Marty asked Roscoe, “You ready to return to earth?”
“I am,” Kitty volunteered.
“I never want this to end,” Kimberly cooed.
“Totally, totally awesome,” Jake agreed, nodding his head.
These two are going to be the death of me, Kitty thought.
“I suppose we must rejoin the real world,” Roscoe announced dramatically.
Marty shut off the pilot light in the fuel tanks. The balloon started to descend over a large open field.
“Bend your knees and hang on for the landing,” Marty instructed. “Don’t get out until I tell you to.”
Seconds later, as the basket hit the ground, Marty pulled the vent line until the basket slowed to a stop.
“Whoa!” Kimberly cried as the basket bounced three times on the grass.
Roscoe’s cowboy hat went flying.
The ground crew ran to grab the lines. One of them grabbed the crown line that was attached to the top of the balloon. This pulled the collapsing balloon on its side. They held the basket in place while the passengers and pilot disembarked, so to speak.
“Time for our cork ceremony,” Marty pronounced.
“Cool,” Kimberly cried when she stood on firm ground. “In our wildest dreams we couldn’t have imagined that we’d go up in a balloon and end up with acting roles. And now we’re going to have champagne! We have so much to celebrate!”
“Roscoe, you’ve totally made our day,” Jake said.
Just you wait, Kitty thought. Let’s see if that’s the tune you’re singing by the end of the week.
42
W hen Regan woke, it took her a second to realize where she was. But her body was facing the desk, and the sight of the dicey bedspread was the first thing that greeted her. “Ohhhh,” she sighed, and closed her eyes again. “This isn’t Kansas anymore, is it, Toto?”
A few moments later Regan got out of bed. She dressed in a pair of jeans and a sleeveless black top. It was still early, only 8:10, so she decided to go downstairs and get a cup of coffee to bring back to her room. The world of reality TV wasn’t starting until 10 when Danny’s group was meeting to drive over to the studio. But Regan planned to go to Danny’s suite at 9, and she wanted to call Jack before then. Danny’s parents were going to call their bank at 9 to transfer $40,000 to Heartburn’s account.
I think I’ll provide more moral support to Danny than anything else, Regan reflected as she was directed to the room where the cocktail party had been the night before. A continental breakfast was laid out on a buffet table against the wall. Little plastic tables were scattered around the empty room.
Regan filled a large paper cup with coffee, added skim milk, and turned to head back up to her room. Barney stood in the doorway. Tears were flowing down his face. Regan wasn’t sure whether to ask him if anything was wrong, since this seemed to be his usual state. But her natural curiosity got the best of her.
“Barney, what’s wrong?”
He dabbed at his eyes. “I feel so afraid.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know where Elsa is.”
Regan’s eyes widened. “Uhh,” she hesitated. “Aren’t you two sharing a room?”
“We’re man and wife,” Barney said indignantly. “We love each other very much and—”
“Okay, okay. You’re not talking to Aunt Agony here. Now when’s the last time you saw her?”
“In bed last night. We went to sleep at about midnight with our arms wrapped tightly around each other….”
Not tight enough, Regan thought.
“I woke at four A.M. and my arms were empty.”
“What did you do?” Regan asked.
“I called out. I said, ‘Elsa, are you in the bathroom, dear?’ And there was no response. So I turned on the light, and she was just plain missing.”
“Are her clothes gone?”
Barney nodded as he blew his nose with his handkerchief. “She hadn’t hung up the outfit she had on yesterday because she was so tired. She left it on the floor. But it was gone. She got dressed and left.”
“Did you ask the clerk at the front desk if anyone saw her?” Regan asked.
“Yes. They told me that no one saw anything.”
“Does she have insomnia?”
“Huh?”
“Insomnia—you know, trouble sleeping?”
Barney’s eyes brightened. “As a matter of fact, she kept talking all night about being wound up because of winning that money.”
“I’d be wound up if I won over $400,000,” Regan noted. “Maybe she went out to try to win some more money. This town operates twenty-four hours a day. In the casinos they pump in oxygen and keep the lights on so you don’t know whether it’s day or night.” As Regan explained this to Barney, she prayed that it was true. And then a disturbing thought occurred to her. Might Barney have done something to Elsa so he could keep the money himself?
“She could have gone to another casino,” Barney agreed. “She did say that there probably wouldn’t be any more big wins in this hotel’s slot machines. Not for a while, anyway. But she knows we have to leave at ten. And why didn’t she leave me a note? If she’s not back soon, we definitely have trouble.”
“Has she ever done anything like this before?” Regan inquired.
“No! She’s so square. So controlled. I’ve always been the wild one. The fact that she could never let go and follow her impulses was part of our problem.”
It looks as if that problem is solved, Barney boy, Regan thought, but she just nodded. “Why don’t you come with me to Danny’s suite for a minute? We can let him know what’s up. The police won’t even file a missing person’s report this soon. She is an adult and has the right to get up in the middle of the night and leave the hotel. Of course, we can call to see if there are any reports of accidents.”
“I’d like to get a cup of coffee first,” Barney said, sniffling.
“Certainly.” Regan was
anxious to talk to Jack, but now she’d have to wait.
Barney went over to the buffet table and fixed himself a bagel with a big mound of cream cheese, and a large cup of coffee. He placed them on a tray with a glass of orange juice and a banana, and turned to Regan cheerfully. “Which table would you like?”
Regan stared at him. “Your choice.”
They sat down in two small plastic chairs, and Regan marveled at his ability to eat so heartily when Elsa was missing. It hadn’t hurt his appetite a bit. If anything happened to Jack, the last thing on my mind would be eating. Regan sighed and decided she might as well get a bagel, too. She chose a plain bagel from the tray. It felt damp. She picked up a few packets of raspberry jam and returned to the table. Barney’s bagel had disappeared. His tears stopped flowing when he was eating.
“I think I’ll get some cereal for my banana,” Barney announced. A minute later he returned with a bowl of brown flakes and proceeded to slice up the banana, frowning intensely as he did so. He sprinkled the bowl with sugar, poured in a container of milk, dug a tablespoon into the food, and crunched away happily.
“Ready?” Regan asked when the bowl was empty.
“Yes. I feel much better.”
“That’s good. We should really let Danny know what’s going on. Who knows? Elsa might surprise us all and come back with even more money in her pockets.”
“I hope so, Regan.”
As they left the breakfast room, Barney started to hiccup uncontrollably. “I ate too fast,” he complained.
What you need is a good scare, Regan thought. And it seems to me you should have already gotten one.
Let’s see how you feel at ten o’clock if Elsa’s still AWOL.
43
N oel and Neil had worked until three in the morning on the script, then met again at eight in Neil’s room to go over everything. They were both exhausted.
“I think we’ve got it, bro,” Noel announced in a tired but triumphant voice.
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