by Norah Wilson
He took her hand. “I’m serious, April. I love you. I love you so damned much.”
“I love you too.” The tears she’d been holding back for the whole tension-fraught night finally spilled. “But that’s not the only consideration here, is it?”
“Come here, baby.”
He pulled her into his arms, crushing her against him. A powerful tremble went through him, so strong she felt it in her own bones. Her tears just kept coming.
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “I’ve got you. And I’m not letting you go.”
Not letting her go? She pulled in a deep breath and let it shudder out. If only he meant that. She pressed her face to his shirt—Titus’s shirt, she supposed, but it smelled already of Scott—and drew another breath. If only she could stay here in his arms. But she couldn’t. She needed to stand on her own.
She pulled back. He loosened his grip but didn’t release her entirely.
“I do love you, Scott Standish.” She looked up into his warm eyes. “I really do. I said I was just pretending, but I think we both know that for the fiction it was. But I can’t marry you. Sidney needs—I need—stability. Permanence. Security. Belonging.” She blinked away fresh tears. “We can’t follow you from pillar to post. I can’t have Sid switching schools every whipstitch, making new friends only to leave them behind. And I won’t sign up for a relationship where we see you between jobs or on major holidays.” God, this was killing her. She wanted so badly to stay in Harkness and do just that—take whatever crumbs he could give her—but she and Sid deserved better.
He tipped her chin up. His expression was so tender, she wanted to cry again. “Are you finished?”
She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yes.”
“Good. So now you can listen to me.”
Her brows shot up.
“I don’t want that either, and I wouldn’t ask you guys to sign up for it. I want to marry you because I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you. You and Sid.”
Her heart twisted in her chest like it was being squeezed by a vice. She stepped back, out of his arms. “Don’t say that.”
“Why not? I mean it.”
“I’m sure you do. At this moment, with that close call with Sid, I’m sure you—”
“I know my own mind, April.” He raked a hand through his still damp hair, making it stand up. “And yes, it took a kick in the ass to wake me up. It took seeing Sid out there…” His voice broke.
She wanted to take him in her arms, pull his head down to her breast. She wanted to hold him close and comfort him as he had comforted her so many times. But she didn’t move a muscle. She was afraid it would stop his words altogether.
She wet her lips. “It took seeing Sid out there to what?”
He swallowed, his throat moving convulsively. “I lost my parents when I was just a kid. I survived the accident, but they didn’t. There wasn’t a damned thing I could do to save them, or to change that. Then I came here and everyone tried so hard to make me feel like part of the family. My adoptive mother became my new mom.” He smiled faintly. “Of course, I tried to resist, but she was having none of that.”
She blinked. “I’m glad.”
“I definitely had my issues with belonging, but not through anyone else’s fault. Not my family’s, not the community’s. But it seems like I circled and circled but never settled in quite the way they wanted.” He rolled his shoulders. “Uncle Arden calls me son, but I was never able to call him dad. And Ember and Titus…”
“I know that Ember and Titus count you as their brother,” she said softly. “Surely you don’t doubt that?”
“I don’t. And life was good. Well, until Mom got diagnosed with cancer. It wasn’t so bad the first time. Or maybe I was too young to know how bad it really was. But then it came back again… Jesus—metastatic breast cancer.” A muscle leaped in his jaw. “Those words make my stomach knot up even now. I read up on it by then, after she had the primary cancer. When it came back, I knew it was going to take her, probably sooner rather than later. And I felt so helpless. I just couldn’t watch it. I couldn’t. I was so…powerless. So I cut and ran.
“Except the Standish code is to take care of our women. That was not so much drilled into me as modeled by Uncle Arden and Titus. Not that Mom and Ember needed coddling. Mom was one of the strongest women I’ll ever know, and well, you know Ember.”
April laughed, but it came out more like a choked sob. “Yes, I do.”
“But regardless, that was the code: protect the women. Take care of them. But I defaulted on it. I couldn’t stand to see my mother suffering, to witness that horrible decline. So I…took off. I ran away.”
She’d known some of this stuff since Montreal. Scott was not the type to spill his guts, but one night after she’d given him the highlights from her train wreck of a childhood, he’d opened up about losing his parents and then his second mother. But she hadn’t realized how badly he thought he’d failed everyone.
“I feel like I abdicated my right to be called a Standish.”
His words broke her heart. “Oh, Scott, no! No one believes that.”
“Maybe not. But I did. That’s why it’s always been so hard to come home, even though home never lost its pull. That’s why it’s been hard to stay, here or anywhere.” He took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eye. “But not anymore.”
Her heart pounded in her throat. Was he saying that he was done wandering? “Scott, there’s no need to—”
“There’s every need, April. And I mean it. I’m a changed man.”
“I don’t understand.” She pressed a hand to her chest, as though she could calm her crazily beating heart. “I mean, what changed? This is just so fast. How…?”
“It was fast,” he agreed. “But sometimes that’s all it takes for your world to shift—a matter of seconds.”
Despite herself, she felt a wild spurt of hope. “Go on.”
“It hit me as I was running along that path by the river, desperately trying to get to Sid, that the only thing worse than the hellish torture I was suffering at that second was the thought of not being there to try. Not being here to keep the both of you safe, to take care of you.”
She heard his words, but she heard one louder than the rest. Here.
She wet her lips. “You said not being here to keep us safe. Do you mean here here, as in Harkness?”
“Harkness, Boston.” He held her gaze with blazing determination. “Where is up to you. If you want to jump on the offer from K.Z. McCoy, I’ll move with you. I have dual citizenship, and with my construction skills, I’d have no problem landing work.”
Her head still whirled with questions, but there was no denying the happiness rising in her chest. Rising? God, it was unspooling in joyful ribbons and shooting streamers, filling her to bursting. Escaping, finally, in tears.
“You’d really go to Boston?”
“I’d go to the ends of the earth with you if you’ll have me,” he declared. “Because wherever you are will be home. We can make it home.”
The tears streamed down her cheeks. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her tear-wet cheeks, her nose, her eyes. Then he lifted his head. “I love you, April Dawn Morgan. I love you so damned much. I want to be with you and Sid, wherever you choose to make your home. Marry me.”
The door to Ember’s bedroom flew open and Sid, clad in her fleecy pajamas, burst into the hall.
“Say yes, Mom! Say yes!”
April choked back a laugh even as she stepped back from Scott’s arms. She should have known Sidney would be eavesdropping. She wiped her damp cheeks. “So, you think I should accept?”
“Yes!” Her daughter’s face looked sharp with excitement, but it was also kind of pinched with anxiety, as though she was afraid April could still mess this up. “You have to,” she said earnestly. “It was in the stars, right?”
; April blinked, then turned back to Scott with a tremulous smile. “Well, in that case, what can I do but surrender to fate?”
He grinned. “You’ll marry me?”
“I will.”
Scott hauled her into his arms for a crushing bear hug. Then he pulled back a few inches and held an arm out to Sidney in invitation. “Come here, Sid. Family hug.”
Sidney flung herself at them, hugging both of them around the waist as hard as her little arms would allow.
♥ ♥ ♥
Scott couldn’t remember feeling fuller, happier, more at peace with himself than he did right now with his arms securely around the woman he loved and her precious, funny, smart daughter. And for the first time since childhood, he no longer felt that chill that had been part of him for so long. Miraculously, he’d finally found his home, right here in this circle of arms.
Then Sidney shivered, reminding him she needed to be in bed.
He rubbed his hand over her back. “Hey, Kid, you’re still cold. Let’s get you under those blankets again.”
She leaned back to look up at him. “Will you help tuck me in?”
He looked to April for direction. She smiled and stepped back.
“Sure thing,” he said to Sid. “Want a lift, or want to do it under your own steam?”
She held her arms up in answer. Scott scooped her up and carried her back into Ember’s bedroom. April pulled the blankets back and he lowered his burden into the bed. She gave him a last hug with her thin arms before releasing his neck, and his throat tightened.
He helped April tuck the covers around Sid.
“So, if you’re going to marry my mother, does this mean you’ll be my dad?”
That tightness in his throat became an ache. “I’d like that,” he said, realizing just how much he meant it. Realizing finally on a bone-deep level how much Uncle Arden had meant it when he’d spoken those words to Scott all those years ago. “And if you’re comfortable calling me Dad, I’d like that too.”
“Oh, yes! I really want that.”
“Good.” Beside him, he heard April sniffle.
“But maybe not right away.” Sid looked from Scott to her mother, then back again. “Maybe I could start calling you that after you guys get married, if that’s okay with you?” She looked up, searching his face nervously as though gauging his reaction. “I’d feel like you were really my dad then.”
He nodded gravely. “I think that would be perfect timing. It would be official then, don’t you think?”
Sid’s relief was palpable. “Exactly! That’s what I meant—official.”
April sent him a grateful look. Her face was blotchy and her eyes a little bloodshot from the tears she’d shed, but he’d never seen anything more beautiful.
“So where are we going to live?”
Scott looked down at Sid, then back at April. “That Boston offer sounded like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” he said. “If you want to pursue it, I’ll go with you.”
“Turns out I’ve had a better offer.” April smiled at him, her heart in her eyes, then looked down at her daughter. “I think we should stay right here in Harkness, don’t you?”
“Yes!” Sid’s thin arm emerged from the blanket to do a fist pump. “Thank you, Mom! I mean, anywhere would be okay if we’re all together, but I really wanted to stay here with Arden and Axl. And Titus and Ember, of course. And my friends at school.”
“I’m glad, Ladybug.” April pulled back. “I mean…if it’s okay I call you that again.”
“You know it is. I…I should have never—”
“It’s okay, Ladybug. It really is.”
“Whoa!” Sid’s eyes widened and she sat up. “I just thought of something.”
“What?” April asked.
Sid turned her eyes from her mother to Scott. “Do you think Arden would mind if… I mean, when everything’s official, do you think he’d mind if I called him Grandpa Arden?”
Scott’s aching throat closed. He had to swallow before he could answer. “I can safely say he’d be honored, Sid. Really.”
She looked pleased, but then her brows drew together in a frown that reminded him so much of her mother. “Do you think he’ll mind waiting until after the wedding? I probably shouldn’t start calling him Grandpa until after I start calling you Dad.”
There he went with the feels again. He took a breath and let it out. “Honey, Arden is the most patient man in the world. He’ll wait as long as it takes. That’s a promise.”
Her frown deepened. “But you’re not going to wait a long time to get married, are you? Like Ember and Jace? I can’t believe they’re waiting a whole year.”
“I hope not,” he said. “I’d marry your mother tomorrow if I could.”
“That could work. I’m free tomorrow,” Sid said.
April laughed. “That might be a little soon.” A delicate blush rose into her cheeks as she met Scott’s gaze. “But no, I don’t wait to wait a long time, either. We can talk about it later.”
They’d definitely be doing that. Now that he’d made up his mind, he wanted to hustle her to the altar before she could change hers.
No, he hadn’t “made up” his mind. It had been made for him. It was like a missing piece of him just slid into place tonight. The missing piece that had let the chill in.
Jesus, he’d come so close to making the stupidest mistake of his life.
“Could you guys stay with me for a while, until I go to sleep?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” April said, stroking her daughter’s hair. “I’m sleeping right here tonight.”
Sid rolled her eyes at her mother. “I know you’re going to sleep here to help keep me warm, but you don’t have to come to bed right away. You probably want to kiss and stuff.”
Scott grinned. “I definitely want to kiss your mother, but it’ll wait.”
“Then hop in.” Sid patted the bed on either side of her.
April climbed onto the bed beside her daughter, on top of the quilts, but instead of lying down, she sat with her back against the headboard. Scott did the same, leaning in so he could put his arm around April’s shoulders.
“How’s that?” Scott asked.
“Perfect.” Sid yawned and burrowed down. “It’s completely perfect.”
Chapter 47
“MY SOUL.” Uncle Arden, who was sitting in his chair at the kitchen table, dabbed at his eyes. Faye sat across from him, a ball of tissues clutched in her hands. The two of them had gotten in about an hour after supper, after a leisurely drive back from Montreal in Faye’s Audi. They’d been surprised to find the house full—Titus and Ocean and Ember and Jace were there, along with Scott, April, and Sid. Everyone had wanted to be there to see their reaction to the happy news.
Scott had just finished telling them about the events of the last twenty-four hours, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
Uncle Arden put his handkerchief away. “Go away to take in a couple of hockey games and come back to a daughter-in-law-to-be. That’s a pretty good deal.”
“And a granddaughter-to-be!” Sidney said, from her position beside Arden’s knee.
“Gracious, yes! That’s the best part.” Arden smiled at Sid. “But there’s a special condition attached to being my granddaughter. Did anyone tell you about that?”
“There is?” Sid’s face sobered. “What is it?”
“You have to promise me you won’t go off like that on your own again. Not until you’re a lot bigger.”
Sid ducked her head. “I’m really sorry. But I already told Scott that I won’t do anything like that again. Didn’t I?” She lifted her head to look at Scott.
He looked down at her grave brown eyes. “You did.”
“So, does that mean I make the cut?” Sid looked back to Arden for his approval.
Arden laughed. “Sweet girl, you’d make the cut for anyone with a brain in their head. It’s just this old heart…I don’t think it could stand it if anything happened to you. That�
�s why I needed you to make that promise.”
“I love you, Arden.” She put an impulsive arm around his neck and hugged him. “Even though I already promised Mom and Scott, I promise you too. No running away, no sneaking out.”
Uncle Arden hugged her back. When he released her, there were fresh tears in his eyes. Even Titus at the far end of the kitchen had to clear his throat.
Sidney must have seen the tears in his eyes for she said, “Seriously! I’m not half as bad as Ember was at my age.”
“Hey!” Ember said.
They all chuckled. Sid especially.
“Well, if we’re done with all this touchy-feely stuff,” Titus said, “I have to take a shower. I’ve been working on the plumbing at Ocean’s cottage, and we’ve been making do without water in the bathroom.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Ember said, wrinkling her nose, “but I endorse that plan.”
“Hey!” Titus protested.
Ocean laughed. “It’s true. We’re both a little ripe.” She glanced at Faye. “Speaking of which, if you’re ready, Mom, maybe we should head out?”
“That’s a good idea, sweetheart,” Faye said. “After that drive, I’m ready for a soak in the tub myself.”
“Great.” Ocean helped her mother up and escorted her toward the door. “We can thumb wrestle to see who gets to go first.”
Faye stopped short of the door. “Why would we do that? We have two bathrooms and plenty of hot water.”
“Aaand there goes my punch line.” Ocean looked back over her shoulder. “Congratulations again, guys. I couldn’t be happier for you. April, let me know when you have a date. It’s never too soon to start planning, right?”
“Right,” April said, looking bemused.
“Come on, Ma.” Ocean steered her mother out the door, explaining as they went why the image of the two of them physically vying for dibs on who got to bathe first was funny.
Scott met April’s eyes and grinned.
“We’re out of here too,” Ember announced. “Because…reasons.”
Scott turned to see her looking up at Jace wickedly. He had a pretty good idea what those reasons were. As did Titus, from his groan.
