He was quiet for a few seconds. “You told him…? He hung up on you?”
“Well I mean he said this and that, telling me to forget about it or whatever, but yeah…then he hung up and he won’t return my calls.”
He cussed again, but it was something not very nice about Tyse.
“Hey, don’t call him that,” I scolded.
He chuckled. “I called him that this morning when I told him he was being stupid. I told him to tell you how he feels and the bastard blew me off.”
“You gotta help me out then, Nate. Just tell me what I should do.”
“You’re really in love with my boy?”
“Yes. I have been for a while.”
“And you were just as dumb as him and kept it to yourself?”
“Yeah, I guess so. But I basically admitted it to you, Nate. You’re just as clueless as he is.”
“What?” he scoffed. “You’ve never told me you were in love with him.”
“I told you I wasn’t with another guy because I was waiting for Tyse, you idiot. What else is that supposed to mean?”
“Hey, I ain’t no Dr. Phil. And I told Tyse what you said and he pretty much convinced me that I heard you wrong. You gotta spell these things out, honey.”
“Okay, okay, I know that I’ve screwed up more than once. But it’s time to stop beating around the bush. I do love him and I need to talk to him.”
He sighed. “Okay, whatever, as long as somebody’s being honest here. Just go see him, Ellie. If you can, just go to Cuca-town and see him. He has a harder time avoiding you when you show up out of the blue. Just don’t spook him before a game or something. He’s got stuff he wants to prove and I don’t want anyone messing up his chances.”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“Just... Well, you gotta understand something, Ellie. Tyse is my boy, right? So I know him pretty well. He’s got this thing about him, this complex or whatever—”
“Yeah, I know. I’m not going to let him give me any of that bull.”
“You may have an advantage by seeing him in person, but it’s not going to be easy, Ellie. I don’t know what you could do to convince him to ‘ruin your life.’ ”
“What?”
He sighed. “That’s what he thinks being with him will do. Ruin your life.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Well, I already told him that you’ve ruined his life, so it’s only fair.”
“Gee, thanks Nate.”
He laughed. “Well, you’ve been driving him crazy. But then again the kid pulled off a four-point-oh this last semester of school. He graduated with a 3.8. I guess you were good for something. He did everything he could to get his mind off of you.”
“Glad I could help. Look, I should get off the phone and, uh, make some plans or something.”
“Yeah, sure. Call me if you need anything.”
“Oh, you’re giving me the invitation to call you now? Gee, I don’t even know what to think of that.”
“Well you’ve finally got your head on straight. Now if Tyse can’t do the same, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”
I laughed at his threatening tone, but after a playful agreement, I hung up and took a deep breath. What now? Should I really make a trip to Rancho Cuca-whatever? I knew that I should, so I got online, did some research about the team and their schedule, and then made a call about work.
I needed to take a couple of personal days.
I was on a plane to California the next morning. It was kind of a torturous flight because of all the thoughts and scenarios running through my head. I knew I couldn’t predict what Tyse would say or do, but I reminded myself over and over that things would work out.
I basically had two options: I could just show up at the game that night and try to meet up with him afterwards, or I could send a text message that said I was in town. I wanted to see him sooner than later, but what if he didn’t respond?
Oh, well. I had to start somewhere. I decided to call Tyse instead of text message him. I figured I’d have to leave a message, but I wanted to at least make an attempt at getting a hold of him. It was almost noon and I had no idea where he was or what he was doing but—
“Hey, Ellie,” his voice said over the phone.
I froze where I was in the airport.
“Ellie? You there?”
“Uh, yeah.”
And then there was an awkward silence.
“Tyse I’m sorry for everything, okay?” I rushed. “I didn’t mean to throw all of that at you, but I’ve tried to get it through to you so many times and I just… I didn’t want to ruin anything we had. Finally I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had to tell you the truth, even if you just…hate me or whatever. I don’t know, I’m just…I’m sorry.”
“Ellie,” he said quietly. Then I heard him sigh. “I uh…I just panicked a little. See, I kind of… Well, I love you, Ellie. I love you so much that I just…I don’t even know what to do about it. Because right now you aren’t an option for me. I can’t do it, Ellie. I can’t pull you into my life like that. It would be totally selfish of me because you deserve so much better. I can’t give you what you deserve. You need a guy who has a good job, a decent place to live, and who doesn’t have psychotic parents. That’s what I want for you. That’s what you deserve.”
I paused for a few seconds to make sure he was finished. “I don’t care what you want for me, Tyse. I don’t care about careers or money or where I live. It has everything to do with how much I need you. And it has everything to do with the fact that I fell in love with my best friend. All I want is to be with you, Tyse. I don’t care about the circumstances around us.”
It was his turn to pause, and as I waited for him to respond, I sat down on a chair and wiped the tears from my face.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to hear that but…I can’t do that to you, Ellie. Give me some time, maybe. Go ahead and live your life for now and—”
“Tyse, I’m here at the airport. I came to see you. Will you meet me somewhere? I need to see you and I can’t wait any longer.”
“Wh- what? What do you mean you’re at the airport? I’m in Rancho Cucamonga, Ellie. I’m—”
“Near the Ontario airport?”
He paused. “Are you joking?”
“No. I’m sitting here in terminal 2, wondering how I’m gonna get to you. I plan on going to the game tonight, but I’d rather see you sooner than that. I guess I could just rent a car and drive around, yelling your name on every street—”
“Don’t leave, Ellie. I’ll- I’ll come get you, okay? I’ll… Yeah, I’ll come get you. Just wait there, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Uh…” I could hear him moving around and then a door shut.
“Tyse?”
“Yeah?”
“I fully expect you to kiss me when you get here.”
There was another brief silence and then, “Yes, ma’am. I’m already on my way.”
“Okay. Drive safe, then. I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“Gotcha.”
He hung up, but for the first time it was a hang up I was happy for.
I swear he got there in less than ten minutes, and as I sat on a seat feeling elation, feeling excitement and happiness as I eagerly looked for his beautiful face, I only turned away for a moment before I heard my name. I faced the sound to see Tyse about twenty feet away.
He took a step toward me, but I was up in a flash and into his arms within a second, and we were kissing each other right there in the middle of the airport. I felt my heart melting in my chest and a warm sensation spread throughout my entire body. His kiss was firm and passionate, and the amount of love I felt for him was endless. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
After a while I had to pull back slightly, just so I could look at him up close. I placed my hands against his face and enjoyed the fact that he was right in front of me, looking at me with his beautiful eyes. It had been seven months since I last saw him, and I a
lmost couldn’t believe I was standing there with him, having just kissed him after all the things we’d been through in the past year.
He ran his fingers through my hair, studying my features as well. He kissed me again, for a long time, and then with a tiny smile said, “I really can’t believe you’re here with me. You know how many times I thought about moments like this? But Ellie, this is…really awesome and really devastating at the same time. I mean…I love you. I really, truly do—more than anything I’ve ever had in my life—but this just…it scares me, okay? I don’t know what to do because…I’m afraid you won’t be happy with me. I’m afraid you’ll regret this and wish we hadn’t changed anything.”
I was shaking my head before he even finished, and I couldn’t even stop the tears from escaping. Because of how I felt at that very moment, I knew I was never going to let him go. “No. Never. I won’t regret this, Tyse. And if you could just go with your heart on this, you’ll see that I’m right.”
“I’ll finish this baseball commitment and then we can do whatever it is you want to do, Ellie. I’ll live wherever you want and I’ll—”
“What do you mean finish your commitment?”
“It’s just for the rest of this season, to see if they want to sign me somewhere for next season. But I don’t care about baseball if I can have you, Ellie. It’s an easy decision.”
“Who says you have to choose? I’m up for baseball.”
“I don’t need baseball. It’s just…something to pass the time.”
“What? I thought it was in your plans. Isn’t that what you’ve been working so hard for?”
“No, not really,” he chuckled. I studied him curiously and he added, “I just wanted you in my life, Ellie. That’s where my goals changed. I’ve always wanted to coach baseball someday, and that hasn’t changed, but I just wanted you. I couldn’t tell you that at the time; that’s why I didn’t give you an answer.”
I stared at him with disbelief. “You want to coach baseball?”
He gave me a funny look. “Uh yeah, but did you hear what I said first? I want you.”
“Yeah I heard that, and now you have me. But you really want to coach baseball someday?”
He shrugged. “It’s not an option though. I can’t hold a job like that with a criminal background.”
I didn’t say anything in reply. He was probably right, at least not in a school.
“See, now you’re remembering why it’s a bad idea to be with me, Ellie.”
“What?”
“My background. I can’t forget it never happened, so that means it will always be attached to you as well.”
“That’s not what I was thinking at all. I was only thinking about the options that you seem to be forgetting. What about, like, one of these minor teams, or maybe in the majors someday?”
He shrugged again. “That was kind of the idea. It’s nice to have a few years of professional ball under your belt, though.”
“Then do that. Keep playing. When you decide that it’s been enough for you, make the switch.”
He smiled at me and softly touched my cheek. “Do we really have to talk about career choices right here in the airport, Ellie? I mean I’ll stand here all day and publicly map out all of my hopes and dreams for you if that’s what you want but…”
“Really?”
He eyed me carefully, seeming to wonder if I was really going to make him do that. “Yes, I really would if that’s what you want.”
“It is what I want, but not here. Let’s leave, okay?”
With a smile he took my hand and pulled me with him. He also kissed me, a few times, as we made our way out of the airport to where he was parked. Once we were in his truck we pretty much made out for ten minutes straight, and then we got lunch and found a park where we could just sit and talk.
Tyse was staying with a host family while he was playing with the Quakes, so he took me to the hotel that I’d booked for my two nights in Rancho Cucamonga. He walked me to my room but wouldn’t even come inside when he dropped me off. To him it was something he wanted to avoid, especially since our relationship was now on a different level. He was very proper that way. Even if he hadn’t been living with a host family he would have made me stay somewhere else. That very respectful, very protective nature was one of the many things I loved about him.
I spent as many minutes of my visit that I could with Tyse. The second night, my last night there, I was able to watch his game before I needed to catch my flight home. We sat in his truck at the airport, both feeling pretty disheartened about my departure but at the same time looking forward to our future together.
But Tyse still had some doubt about how he was going to negatively affect my life, and I had a hard time with that. He also realized that I hadn’t talked to my sister for months, because if I had, I would have known that Gage had made a team with the Royals—in Arkansas. I didn’t really care where Gage was pitching, so I played it off that way, but Tyse was really bothered that I hadn’t talked to Dawn for so long.
“Is it honestly because of me, Ellie? You seriously haven’t forgiven her for calling me up? I thought I told you that it wasn’t even an issue anymore. It’s water under the bridge.”
I sighed. I didn’t really want to waste my last few minutes with Tyse talking about my sister, but I did promise that I would go see her when I got home. He didn’t believe me at first, so I had to do some convincing. I really had helped my mom plan a baby shower for Dawn, so after Tyse made me pinky swear that I would actually attend the party, he left it alone.
“But this is just the beginning,” he added.
“The beginning…?”
“Your family is probably going to need a lot of time to get used to this, Ellie. If they ever do. I don’t know, I just…”
“Tyse, it’ll be okay.”
“Come on, Ells. You traded a successful British doctor for a life with a struggling ex-con. Surely that’s gonna sting ‘em just a bit.”
I rolled my eyes with frustration because I hated to hear him talk about himself like that. “I’m happy with my choice because I know it was the right one. They’ll see that with time. When you spend your off-season in Portland with me they’ll have a chance to get to know you better. And when we get married and have kids, there won’t be any hard feelings anymore because they’ll see what a happy family we are.”
“Married with kids, huh? You got this all planned out?” His smile was pretty cute.
“Only if that doesn’t interfere with your big plans or anything.”
“You are my big plans.”
“Okay then, it’s all settled. So now that you know how badly I want to marry you, I’ll just wait it out until you’re ready to ask me.”
“Jeez, Ellie. How’d you get to be so forward?”
I smiled. “Well, I guess you have Harlan to thank for that.”
“I do, huh?”
“Yep. He always made me be open and honest about everything—usually about you. It was hard sometimes, especially when I didn’t want to hurt his feelings—or hurt my own feelings too, I guess. And it allowed me to really learn more about myself, and what I truly wanted.”
He studied me for a few seconds before he said, “Hmm. If he helped you realize how bad you wanted me, then I guess I do need to thank him.”
“Yeah, you should,” I nodded. “He’s a really good guy.”
“Well I’m glad you had someone to look after you while I spent six months being an ass.”
“Just six months? I was available before I started dating Harlan, you know.”
“Okay, so I was pretty much an ass from the start.”
With a laugh I said, “Nah, I’m guessing we probably needed a year of emotional turmoil to appreciate what we finally have with each other.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “How much of this philosophical Brit am I gonna have to listen to?”
I chuckled but asked, “You don’t agree with that?”
He nodded his head.
“Yeah, actually I do. It was one thing just being buddies with you while I was in Portland, and yeah I was really attracted to you. I mean really,” he emphasized with a smile. “But I talked myself out of it pretty easily—because of my past and because I was going back to California, and especially because of what a sweet girl you were—but once I was back in La Mesa… Wow, I didn’t know what the heck I’d done to myself.”
“I hear you drove Nate crazy,” I smiled.
With a laugh he said, “Yeah, I did. Pissed him off more than anything. He thought I was an idiot. I heard you drove him crazy too,” he countered with a smirk.
“He frustrated me! He’d barely give me information, and I was usually more confused than before I called.”
“He was just following orders. I never wanted you to know how I felt because I thought I should get over it. I wanted you to have a good life, and I knew I wasn’t— Uh, I just thought I wasn’t it.”
I cuddled against him as I looked at the clock. I barely had ten minutes before I needed to get inside to check into my flight, and it made me feel a little bit of panic in my chest.
“You will call me, right?” I asked in a slightly threatening tone.
“Yes, I will. Every day. And if our phone paths don’t cross, then I’ll leave a voicemail telling you how much I love you.”
“That will be nice,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll need it because I don’t know how I’m going to get through this summer without you.”
“I told you I don’t have to do this, Ellie—”
“Yes, you do,” I argued. “I want you to. I mean if you want to,” I added quickly. “Give it a shot, Tyse. See where it takes you. I’m up for whatever life brings us. And I believe if we weren’t challenged in one way, we’d have another challenge instead. Life is balanced that way. So just do this for now—we’ll adjust as we go along.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I think for you I could go all the way to the top, Ellie. And I have a lot to prove, not just for myself, but to everyone else that has doubt. But your opinion is the only one that matters to me.”
“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” I clarified. “I already know your worth, Tyse. And I know you can make it to the top if you wanted to.”
Summer Swing Page 40
