by Rebecca Rode
“Humor me, then. When you walked into the lobby yesterday, I knew I had to meet you. Everything about you screams intelligence and confidence. It wasn’t until we talked that I realized we already knew each other. When you went upstairs, I remembered Sofia saying you had a book, so I looked it up and downloaded it.” He paused. “I told you I thumbed through it, but that wasn’t true. I devoured it. Probably got through about the first third before dinner.”
He waited for me to respond, but I kept my lips tightly pursed.
“As I read, I couldn’t help but wonder who this woman was. A self-proclaimed savior of the downtrodden, a woman who weaves statistics and personality traits like cloth on a loom or words in a poem. It was fascinating, some of the conclusions you drew.” His voice softened. “But I couldn’t sleep last night, so I picked it up again and read until 3:00 a.m. And I caught a glimpse of something between the words—something I should have seen the moment you walked in. I saw a broken heart.”
For the second time that day, I found my soul bared to the world. I folded my arms and wished I could curl up into a ball. But instead I raised my head and turned to give Micah an icy glare.
He put his hands up in surrender. “I know it’s personal, and I respect your privacy. I just wanted you to know I’ve been there; I lived through it and came out a little better for it.” He looked down at the ground. “My life isn’t a romantic comedy, Corie. I don’t expect to find the perfect woman, but I do look forward to trying again with a real woman, a girl who knows she’s free to make mistakes and be herself.”
First Sofia, and then Micah. I’d had enough relationship advice for one day. I just nodded, unable to speak, until we reached the bottom of the mountain and stood. I resisted the urge to kiss the snow in relief. Instead, I unfastened the board and rested it against my waist.
When I turned to go, Micah was still there, waiting for me. “Thanks for the chat. I know it seems odd after last night, but I think you’re the only one here who understands. What it’s like, I mean.”
It. Having your heart shredded and the pieces thrown across the ground, then stomped on. All of that packed into one word: it. I swallowed hard and looked at him, really looked. How could Micah truly understand when he’d led the charge against me and my dreams? Was he the jerk from high school, or had his experience really changed him?
He chuckled. “This all sounds pretty heavy-handed. Sorry.” He placed a hand on my arm, which tingled under his touch. Suddenly I couldn’t help but be aware of his proximity to me. And I couldn’t pull away. “Look, I want to get to know you better, but I know last night didn’t help matters. If you can’t forgive me, can we at least pretend to be civil?”
I gathered all the strength I could find in my shaking body, trying not to lean into his touch. “Fair enough.”
“Good. Well then, I guess I’ll see you.” He let his hand drop, taking that tingly warmth with him, and then he was gone.
I looked down at my arm where he’d touched me and awakened a heat I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I thought of my teammates and our pact. It had been seven years since then. Some of the girls on my team were already married and had babies. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have an innocent conversation with him here and there. He was the only person I knew here other than Sofia, and he seemed as lonely as I was.
Then I realized he hadn’t corrected me when I’d accused him of being here for Sofia, and I mentally kicked myself. Here I was again, weakening under the warmth of a man’s touch when he’d only spoken with me because he felt guilty and we’d both been dumped. Hadn’t my experience with Rhett been painful enough?
I steeled my nerves, let thoughts of Micah flit away into the bitter-cold air, and made my way to the rental counter to return my board.
***
When Sofia returned to our room that night, she fell onto her bed with a moan.
“Well?” I asked, setting aside my book. She’d been gone all day. I’d taken it as a good sign. Evan was definitely the strong and silent type, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t work between them. My research had shown the whole “opposites attract” thing could make for a lasting relationship.
“It’s not him,” she said, her voice muffled into her pillow.
I frowned. “Really? It looked like you were having fun.”
She turned her head, cheek squished against the bedding. “He’s more interested in his $3,000 board than in me. I could’ve hit a tree and he wouldn’t have noticed.”
“Bummer. At least you’ve written one off the list, right?”
She sat up and grabbed the remote from the nightstand. “True. I guess there are two more.”
“Dozens, actually, if you count all the men who came to Singles Week. Plenty of fish in the sea.”
“I hate seafood,” she grumbled, turning on the TV. “Although snowboarding wasn’t a total waste. I’m boarding way better than last time, we’ve written Evan off the list, and you got to hang out with Micah. Speaking of which, he sure was sweet with you today.”
I rolled my eyes and picked up my book. “Let’s not go there.”
“So you guys didn’t hang out?”
I shot her a look. “I sent him on his way. I know what you’re thinking, Sofia, and no. I’m not interested in Micah.”
She raised a questioning eyebrow.
“I’m serious.” I kept my hands deliberately still to avoid fidgeting. I’d thought about Micah all day, but she didn’t have to know that.
Sofia shrugged. “Okay.” Her words had a strong it’s-your-funeral vibe.
I put down my book. “Okay?”
“Yep. If you feel that way, I won’t feel guilty partnering with him tomorrow on our snowshoeing trip.” She switched the channel from one news station to the next. It seemed the entire state of Colorado’s weather specialists were determined to outdo each other at the same time.
“You’re switching to Micah, then?”
“Any objections?”
I twisted my hair around one finger. “There’s something I haven’t told you about him. He was a total player in high school. He probably made out with the entire cheerleading squad.”
“At once? Then he has some serious skills.” Sofia’s eyes twinkled as if she knew something I didn’t.
I hated when she acted like this, all knowing, as if she was the parent and I was the child. “You didn’t know him then.”
Sofia shook her head slowly. “I don’t know if Micah told you, but he was engaged last year. Sounds like the girl really did a number on him. He hasn’t dated at all since her. It was all I could do to talk him into coming. I’m sure whatever Micah you knew in high school is long gone. You sure you don’t want to give him a chance?”
Such optimism. She and Micah were so alike. Sofia had enjoyed a fair string of boyfriends herself, but she’d begun talking about The One in recent months. Micah seemed equally ready to move on. Besides, Micah had been obnoxious at the restaurant, but he’d been nothing but kind to Sofia. He’d come for her, after all, and I was getting in the way.
It was kind of Sofia to think she needed to ask permission to pursue him, but it shouldn’t have been necessary. The fact that she thought it was filled me with guilt. “I think you should go for it.”
I expected her to smile at that, but her expression was unreadable. “You think he’s interested in me?”
“He came, didn’t he? I’m sure you’ll have a blast with him tomorrow.”
“Assuming I can get us together.” She paused. “Fine, but do me a favor and find a partner for this snowshoe trip, okay? A cute one. And promise you’ll at least try to have fun.”
I had never been snowshoeing before, but it was pointless to argue. Tomorrow was my last full day here. Besides, with Micah claimed by Sofia, I had nothing to worry about. None of the other guys had shown any interest in me, which was just the way I wanted it. “I’ll try.”
“You’d better. I’m beginning to think you’re still not over Rhett.�
�
I gaped at her. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
She sat up and looked me straight in the eye. “Then tell me this. If he divorced his family-friend wife and came crawling back saying he still loved you, what would you say? Don’t lie to me.”
The urge to snap back was strong, but I swallowed and thought about it. Sincerity settled in my mind as I formed the words. “I would tell him to jump off a mountain.”
“I’m pretty sure that could be arranged.”
I snorted. “A short one. I don’t want him dead, just maimed.”
Sofia slid off the bed and pulled me into a huge hug. “I’m so glad you came. And I’m sorry for accusing you of pining. I’m glad you’re trying to have a good time.”
It was true, although the hole I had inside wasn’t the lack of Rhett, but trust. “I’ll try to have fun tomorrow.”
I would, but not for Sofia. Not even for Micah. It wouldn’t be for the men who’d broken my mother’s heart, nor the father I’d never known. Not even for Rhett, who had done exactly what I expected him to do.
It would be for me.
For every moment of crying over Rhett, there would be a moment of laughter without him. For every bitter thought, a happy one. Friendship to replace loneliness. An exciting future to replace the plans we’d made together.
No, I’d do it for myself because I deserved to be happy and have adventures and live my life. If it took another awful day in the snow to do that, then I would take it with a smile. No matter how painful it was.
“I will,” I told her, my voice full of resolve. “Tomorrow will be the best day yet.”
4
OUR SNOWSHOEING GUIDE, A DYNAMIC woman with a deep voice, gathered us all in the parking lot and gave us a rushed lecture about avalanche danger, partnering up for safety, and basic wilderness survival. My attention faded in and out—water, food, turn your cell phone on at high elevation if you get lost, giant SOS made of sticks, blah, blah, blah. Then she took a dramatic pause. It tore my attention back to her like nothing else could have.
“You have thirty seconds to partner up,” she said with a wink, and suddenly it was grade school PE class all over again. The moment those words had escaped her lips, everyone started running. This had to be a Singles Week tradition or something, one everyone around me clung to with surprising ferocity.
I wasn’t the least bit surprised when Sofia went straight for Micah, heading off two other girls before they could reach him. My friend spoke, and he smiled and nodded. I watched him closely. His eyes never flicked in my direction. I’d accused him of being here for Sofia, and it seemed I’d been absolutely right.
But it didn’t stop the stab of disappointment that went through my gut.
I sighed and turned to see who was left in the madness.
“Hey, Corie,” Tim said from beside me. “I see you’re in need of a partner.” He wore a northwestern-brand coat and his usual glasses.
I forced a smile. I’d nearly forgotten about guy number two. Tim was the most logical person to team up with. I could get to know him and report to Sofia later. Although something deep inside told me Sofia had already found her One. The thought made my stomach curl. “Seems that way.”
“We sophisticated individuals need to stick together.” He grinned. “You going to be okay in that jacket? It doesn’t look very warm.”
I looked down at my coat and frowned. It had cost me $200. Sofia said the deep blue brought out my eyes. I hadn’t exactly bought it for snowshoeing purposes. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe putting on a few more layers underneath would be a good idea.”
“If I die, I swear I won’t blame you.”
“You sure? I really think—”
A hand clapped Tim on the shoulder. Micah.
“Don’t worry about this guy, Corie,” he said. “Boy Scout here won’t be happy until you’re carrying a week’s worth of dehydrated food and water and a log cabin kit on your back.”
“Very funny,” Tim said, turning on him and looking upward. Micah stood a good six inches above his eye level. “It’s not such a bad thing to know your way around these mountains in the winter, Beach Boy. It can get dangerous if you’re not prepared. I’m just making sure my partner here is well taken care of.”
Micah smirked. “Northern California, man. Sixty miles from the beach. And we get snow sometimes too.”
“Not like this, you don’t.”
“I’m just saying, let the lady wear what she wants.”
“And I’m saying you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The two men sized each other up like men often did, and I couldn’t help but admire Micah’s jumping to my defense. His well-formed jaw had grown a bit of stubble since yesterday, giving him a subtle biker look. Compared to Boy Scout Tim, he looked almost rugged. I wondered if that was the intention.
Sofia eyed me, then turned to Micah. “Looks like we’re heading out. You ready?”
He looked down on her like a gentleman escorting a lady to the ball. “Ready to explore the great unknown.” As they turned to go, he threw one last glance at me over his shoulder. Then they were swallowed up in the group.
I took a deep, calming breath. For Sofia.
No. For me. I’d made a promise to myself. Just a few more hours and I’d have a score on Tim in case Micah didn’t work out. Then my obligation to Sofia would be complete. I would be New York–bound in less than twenty-four hours.
Tim watched them go with a frown. It seemed Tim didn’t like them pairing up any better than I did.
I forced cheerfulness into my tone. “Looks like we’re going now. Shall we follow?”
“Better than being left behind,” he muttered.
And that was how our day began.
***
Tim proved slightly more interesting as the day went on. Or maybe I just wanted him to be. It was harder than it looked, walking on top of the snow. Hills were particularly tricky. After the first few minutes, I learned to keep my gaze solidly on the ground in front of me and place my snowshoes carefully on the snowy trail.
I tried desperately not to look ahead to where Micah and Sofia walked. Once in a while Sofia gave him a playful shove, and then their shoulders would shake as they laughed together. Sofia glanced back at me once or twice, but I couldn’t read her expression.
I turned my interest back to Tim at those moments, watching him with the determination of an Olympic medalist. His gaze never left Sofia.
I had expected Tim to be an accountant or businessman, but he was a grad student majoring in environmental science. He’d chosen an emphasis in water systems, an area he freely admitted was quite boring. It didn’t stop him from educating me about it.
As he talked, my thoughts kept returning to Micah like a mental yo-yo. There had been a teasing glint in his eyes yesterday, a soft smile and a penetrating gaze that made me believe he saw nothing but me. Obviously I’d misread him.
I couldn’t help comparing him to Tim. While researching for Love Right, I’d surveyed nearly three hundred couples and another hundred singles, and I’d learned a lot about relationships. The biggest thing was that most men showed interest in two ways—bragging about themselves and flattery. Rhett had done that, as had most of the guys who asked me out.
But Micah hadn’t. In fact, he’d done just the opposite—he’d praised me for my book while giving an honest critique. Maybe a little too blunt, but still his true opinion. He’d complimented without flattering, returned my banter with intelligent conversation, and admitted a raw vulnerability that was unusual for a man.
And I’d returned his honesty with coldness.
“. . . you can flood the water with exactly the chemicals a plant needs,” Tim was saying. “That means growing food in water, without soil, is a distinct possibility. Think what it means for the future. No more salmonella, no more wasted space in huge fields—we can grow everything we need in a lab using vertical space.”
“How
interesting,” I murmured as we reached a clearing. The couples in front of us had already stopped.
“Time to stop for lunch,” The guide called out ahead with admirable enthusiasm. “Did we lose anyone?”
A quick count revealed that everyone had reached the clearing. I arched my back and stretched, wishing I could sit on the ground and relieve the pain in my thighs and calves. They still ached from yesterday. I glanced around and found a fallen tree. The branches made sitting impossible, but I swept some of the snow away and leaned against it, taking some of the weight off my feet.
“Tired?” Tim asked.
“Exhausted.” I flexed my foot for a calf stretch, but it was too difficult in snowshoes. I’d grown soft during my years at school.
Tim nodded. “I went on a hundred-mile snowshoeing race once. I thought my legs were going to fall off.”
A few people with backpacks had carried up our lunches. The guide had them pull everything out and pass the bags around. They must have all been the same, because there were no labels. I gratefully took one and peered inside. A sandwich, a red apple with a Washington State sticker, watery baby carrots, a chocolate-chip granola bar, and a half-size water bottle, naturally chilled from the hike. It was like second grade all over again. I unscrewed the bottle lid and chugged the entire thing.
Tim raised an eyebrow as I finished it off. “Whoa, there. That’s got to last you a while.”
I flashed him a smile and shoved the empty water bottle back into the bag. “I’m sure I’ll live.” I unwrapped my sandwich. Roast beef, from the looks of the folded meat hanging out. Not my favorite, but I’d eat anything at this point. I took a bite and instantly regretted drinking the water bottle first. Too dry.
The guide withdrew while we ate, speaking into her long-distance radio. A moment later she returned.
“Folks.” Her usual practiced smile was replaced by a concerned frown. “I’m afraid I have some bad news. A winter storm warning was just issued for this area. It won’t hit until tonight, but just in case, we’ve been ordered back. I’m sorry, but it looks like we won’t make it to the cave after all.”
