"Free for alls are my favorite," Joel said. He pulled me to him using the hand that hadn't left the small of my back. His chest and arms were solid and warm. "What happened the other night?" he asked, looking concerned.
I took a deep breath. "I don’t really know. I just felt sick. You know, woozy."
"You sure it wasn't about me? It seems like you'd have called by now." He paused to look at me. "I'm just going to be honest. I hate what you do for a living, can't stand it, but I also hate not seeing you. I miss the days when I could count on you being at Rachel's office. I came here today to ask you about Christmas, but mainly I just needed to see you, I had to get my hands on you. I thought I would've heard from you by now."
He ran his big hands up my arms and then down my back, sending waves of chills and some other electric sensation through me. Boy was I right when I had the feeling I wouldn't be able to say no to him today. I had the sneaking suspicion that this was just a booty call, but I didn't care. I would follow this guy to the ends of the earth right now.
****
I only had to follow him as far as the parking lot where we found his car. It was a beautiful, sunny December afternoon. He was driving the old Camaro, which made a rush of excitement go through me. He looked like a male model in ripped designer jeans and a faded T-shirt. Ever the gentleman, Joel beat me to the passenger's door, which he held open.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked. Looking at him over my sunglasses as I sat in the passenger's seat. Actually, it was a bench seat, but I sat approximately where the passenger's seat would be, leaving a little bit of space between the driver and me.
"Wouldn't you like to know," Joel said, closing my door. He walked around the back of the car, opened his door, sat behind the wheel, and looked at me from across the divide. "If I would've wanted you that far away, I'd be driving the SUV." He patted the space next to him, and I obeyed by sliding closer to him to close the gap. He reached across me to dig for the seatbelt (which was just a lap belt since I was in the middle) and the smell of him all up in my space like that made me take an irregular breath. "Hey listen, if you want to take this slow, I can just take you for a cup of coffee or something. I don't want you to feel like the only reason I came here today was to—"
"I want to do whatever you had in mind," I said, hoping it came across a little less eager than I felt. He didn't leave me hanging. He bent and put his lips to mine in an agonizingly gentle kiss. Our mouths barely touched, and the teasing contact made me yearn for it to deepen.
He broke the contact and asked, "What if my plans include more of that?"
"More of that is exactly what I'm feeling like I want right now," I said, a little breathless. The corner of his mouth raised in an easy smile before he focused his attention on putting the keys in the ignition. He started the engine, and the deep rumble shook the seat beneath me. I was anxious and excited to see where we'd end up.
Chapter 14
Joel
"A juice bar?" she asked as we pulled into the parking lot at The Main Squeeze. Her eyes were wide with surprise.
"Yeah, a juice bar," I said. "It's good for you."
She rolled her eyes as if to tell me she could take care of her own nutrition concerns, but didn't hesitate to get out of the car and order a large Berry Pro Plus with a shot of protein powder. "This is good," she said. She was pounding that thing like she hadn't eaten in days.
"You wanna hit the In and Out Burger?" I asked, watching her suck the last drops of her juice through the straw. She reared back and socked me in the shoulder for the question. I wasn't trying to be mean. I'd feed her a burger if she'd let me. Hell, I'd almost gone there in the first place, but I figured a glass of juice was all she'd agree to. I was obviously right if I was getting slugged just for mentioning it. "What?" I asked. "I love a nice, tasty burger every now and then."
She thought for a second, then smiled and said, "Okay, you talked me into it… but just a kid size."
"Deal," I said, starting the car to head for the nearest place to get this girl some sustenance.
****
An hour later, I was staring at flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror. "You have got to be kidding me! I was only going seven miles over the limit." We were driving on a winding road on the outskirts of town, heading to a place I knew she'd love. She still had no idea where we were going. The cop who approached my side of the car was young and all decked out in cop gear complete with mirrored sunglasses. "Is there a problem officer?" I asked, looking at him from over my shoulder.
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I thought I was just a few miles over," I lied.
Just then, Gretchen leaned over me, looking up and through the window, trying to get a good view of the officer. "Carlos!" she said. She smiled up at the cop.
"Gretchen McKay, what are you doing out here?" he asked.
"I was about to ask you the same thing."
"I'm on my way to my mom's house. She lives out here. She struggled for years, and then she met a rich guy. It's pretty out this way. Where you headed?"
"I have no idea, actually. It's a surprise." She looked at me and I smiled stiffly at the cop. I couldn't help but wonder who he was and how they knew each other.
"Well, any friend of Gretchen's is a friend of mine. She's one tough cookie," the officer said. I smiled again. I didn't know how I felt about him calling Gretchen cookie. At least he decided not to issue me a ticket. They talked for a few minutes before he went back to his car. I couldn't really gather how they knew each other based on their conversation, but I did pick up a few comments about seeing each other in South Central.
He drove away as soon as he got back to the cruiser, leaving us on the side of the road. I looked at Gretchen with an expression that asked her to explain what that was all about.
"Before I started with Rachel, I worked at a coffee shop that Carlos used to come to all the time. It's a long story, but there are four of us who get together every week for a sort of community service." She regarded me like she thought that was enough of an answer.
"Well now you've just got me curious." I said, taking my hand off the keys like I could sit there all day.
She sighed, and began giving me the details one at a time. She seemed a little reluctant to talk about it. "We just got to talking one day, and I said I wish I knew a way I could make a difference in the world… even if it was a small one. He said there's an area of South Central close to where he patrols that has a lot of homes with young children. Anyway, we've established relationships with two families on this one block that's especially bad. We just go into their homes, hang out, play games with the kids. We've gotten really close to all of them. We try to make it to their kids' school plays and baptisms and everything."
"Who goes with you?"
"There are four of us. Carlos and I were the originals, but two of my friends from UCLA started coming with us soon after we started, and they still go. Carlos goes in street clothes, of course."
"How often do you do this?"
"Every Wednesday."
"Every week?"
"Yeah," she said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to visit one of the roughest parts of L.A. on purpose every week. Didn't she know she was putting herself in danger? Part of me wanted to tell her she was crazy and she was no longer allowed to do such a thing… while the other part of me wished I had someone like Gretchen to come over and play games with me once a week when I was in any of my messed up foster situations. I didn't know what to say, so I just stared at her, half-wondering if she was serious. What a complex creature.
"I figure you're either thinking I'm stupid or I'm a saint right now, and I want to assure you I'm neither. I've never once felt like I was in danger, and I have just as much fun with them as they do with me. They threw me a backyard barbeque when I got the job on Paradise Island."
I just smiled at her and started the car since I didn't think it'd go over too well to tell her I'd like her to quit
her job and her crazy, dangerous community service. What in the world was I going to do with this girl? I wanted to protect her from her own freaking life.
****
When I stopped the car, Gretchen slid across the seat and climbed out of the driver's side behind me.
"What is this place? And don't say Mulholland Drive, because I know that much." She was looking around curiously.
"It's just a wooded lot with a clearing where a cottage will go. Nothing fancy, just something to get away from the city sometimes, like camping but easier."
"So it's yours?" she asked.
"That's what the realtor told me. I have room to plant some grapes out here if I ever wanted to try my hand at winemaking, but for now, I'll settle for a little house and some peace and quiet. Do you like it?"
She seemed surprised that I'd ask. A grin spread across her face as she looked around. "I love it! I think we might see Bambi out here, or at least some kind of woodland creature. Can I pass for Snow White?" She looked at me from over her shoulder, kicked a foot up, and batted her eyes. She had on tight jeans and a shirt that left one shoulder exposed. I wanted to ravish her right there on the hood of my car.
"Snow White ain't got nothin' on you," I said. I reached into the backseat to grab the things I'd packed.
"You brought supplies? I'm starting to think you were pretty confident I'd come with you today. Maybe I should've presented more of a challenge," she said, in a teasing tone.
"I haven't seen or heard from you in a week, I've had just about all the challenge I want for now."
She was leaning against the front of the car with her arms crossed on her chest. Holding the blanket and paper sack in one arm, I closed the car door then crossed to the spot where she was standing. I took her hand and led her down a path to the clearing where I had plans to put a cottage. She helped me spread the quilt on the ground. We each had two corners, and when we brought it up, it ballooned like a parachute. With her arms raised, she peaked at me from underneath it with a playful smile that made my chest get that tight feeling.
"It's really nice out here, Joel, and I love the idea of a cabin. I think it's going to be hard to make yourself go back to the city once you get this place built."
"You haven’t even seen my favorite part," I said. "There's a stream."
"A stream?" she laughed in disbelief. "That's the stuff of fairytales. Did you just ask for a storybook piece of property, or what?"
"Something like that," I said. We left the bag and our shoes on the quilt and set off through the woods in the direction of the little stream.
"I can't believe you actually have a freaking stream. Can I get in?" She looked at me for a response, but she was already in the process of pulling up her jeans.
"You can, but you're gonna freeze," I said. Gretchen looked at me like a defiant kid as she carefully tested the water with her toe. Apparently the stream didn't feel too bad on that one toe because she jumped in with both feet. She gasped out loud at the shock. The clear water rushed over her ankles as she stood in the rocky creek bed. "Oh my God, it's cold," she sputtered, but she made no move to get out. She bent down and cupped some of the running water in the palm of her hand in a gesture that warned me a splash was coming.
"Don't you even think about it," I said.
"Or what?"
"Or you'll end up soaking wet."
"What's so bad about that?" she asked. "I'm not afraid of a little water."
"Well, seeing as neither of us have a change of clothes, we'd have to get out of these long enough to let them dry."
"I thought that was the plan anyway," she said. She flung the handful of water through the air, soaking the left side of my shirt.
"Okay. I see how it's gonna be," I said calmly. I unbuttoned my shirt and set it in a pile by my feet.
"What are you doing?" she shrieked. I could see she was starting to regret her decision to splash me. "I'm sorry.
"Oh, no there's no saying sorry now. It's too late for that." I set my pants at the side of the stream leaving just my boxers on. Our eyes met when I started into the stream after her.
She gave up trying to apologize and went on the offense again. "Don't make me do it," she said. Her hand was poised for another splash. "I will not go down easy."
"The thing is…" I said, looking falsely apologetic. "I don't mind getting a little wet. I might even be a little excited about it," I made a face like I was a little crazed and she squealed with fear and scrambled backward, stumbling over rocks. "Whoa, it's okay, I'm just messing around. I don't want you to get hurt." I crossed the space between us and pulled her into my arms.
"I thought you were the enemy. What are you doing trying to rescue me?" She smiled up at me through her lashes, breathless and a little flushed from the thrill of the chase. I bent and pressed my lips to hers.
"I'll race you to the blanket," she said.
"I'll even stop to pick up my clothes," I said, smiling. I let go of her, and she took off like a racehorse leaving the starting gate. I laughed and stooped to pick up my clothes on my way to the clearing. By the time I caught sight of her again, she was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the quilt we'd laid out. She sat casually leaning back on her hands as if she'd been lounging there all day waiting for me.
Chapter 15
Gretchen
Calm your breathing, calm your breathing. I'd run so fast to get here that I was having a hard time catching my breath, but I was totally faking it. I sat in the center of the blanket and stretched out like I didn't have a care in the world. Joel emerged from the woods wearing nothing but a pair of slate gray boxer briefs and carrying the rest of his clothes. The sight of him made me lose a little of the progress I made in trying to breathe normally. He strolled toward me with a confidence and grace that was absolutely heart stopping. He looked like some mythical creature coming out of the woods with his muscled body all out on display like that. I watched him cross the field in such a daze, it almost seemed like he was walking in slow motion, his muscles flexing and contracting as he walked. All I wanted was to be on this blanket with this guy. I couldn't think of a single thing I would change about this moment.
"What are you thinking?" he asked as he came close. He smiled at me as he tossed his clothes to the ground at the side of the blanket.
"I was thinking this is exactly where I want to be right now."
"Oh yeah?" His grin turned mischievous, and he dropped onto his knees on the blanket a few feet from me. He leaned towards me, supporting his weight on his hands.
"You've been working out," I said, since I start stating the obvious when I'm nervous. I grabbed his shoulders and gave them a squeeze, feeling for myself how buff he was.
He looked down at my hand before looking back into my face. "I like your hands on me," he said.
"Me too," I said.
Now that we'd drawn attention to the contact, I felt suddenly nervous and insecure about it. I awkwardly ran my hands halfway down his arms before putting them in my lap.
He shook his head slowly and said, "I don't remember asking you to remove your hands." He looked at me like he was totally serious. I returned them to his shoulders, which made his expression shift to a satisfied grin.
That grin had me totally entranced. I couldn't help but smile back. My face wasn't giving me much choice in the matter. I was just good ol' fashioned happy when I was with Joel. I drank in the sight of him as he loomed over me with an edge of danger in his presence. He was so confident out here in the middle of the woods with nothing on but his tight boxers. My hips were already aching to move toward him. I looked away, focusing on the stitches of the quilt for a second to get control of my desire.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I'm having a hard time distracting myself enough so that I don't jump you right now. You look like you could be in an ad for those underwear." I threw in the bit about the underwear because I thought the "jumping you" part might have come across as desperate.
He ignor
ed my joke, and instead did exactly what I wanted him to do. He put his lips on the shoulder my top left exposed. He was hovering so close to me. I could feel the heat from his body, but no part of him was touching me except for his mouth.
First my shoulder, then little kisses onto my chest. He slowly made his way up my neck. I looked up, giving him better access to my neck, and he took advantage of it, opening his mouth onto my neck, giving me an opened-mouth kiss directly on the vein that was pumping blood like crazy right now.
"I can feel your heart beating," he said, which caused me to let out a little nervous whimper. "Last chance to tell me to stop, Gretchen."
I was silent.
I stretched out on the blanket and he began to put kisses on any exposed flesh he could find… my arms, my neck, my ears, my face. When he ran out of skin, he moved to my stomach and carefully lifted my shirt, exposing the skin around my belly button. The feel of his warm lips on the sensitive area at the base of my tummy drove me crazy. I wanted him so badly; it was all I could do not to rip my clothes off. Joel continued at a pace so slow that by the time he was kissing me for real, I was already at the limits of what I could stand. I felt as if I could just burst with sexual tension. "I want you," I said, writhing underneath him.
"Well, it's a good thing, because you're about to have me," he said.
****
I got a text from Joel the next afternoon, which was highly unorthodox considering I had scarcely spoken to him before yesterday. We never really had the type of relationship where we call or text on a regular basis, and this text was making me feel like he thought he needed to check up on me just because we were sleeping together. We'd done it twice now, and in my mind that constitutes sleeping together. I was ashamed at the realization that I was becoming exactly what I said I'd never be, his mistress. I could see it happening but I liked him so much I couldn't stop myself. It seemed as if I was willing to have him anyway I could get him.
Seeing Clearly Page 10
