Mason and I had a great night at dinner and walked back home to have a bath and do some reading before he went to sleep. It was then that I let myself feel the pain all over again as I curled up in my bed and cried my eyes out.
A part of me wanted to just leave the job and find something else, but my life was not all about me anymore. I needed to do the best thing for Mason and I could work there and not see Carter. There had to be thousands of employees and most of them probably didn’t even know Carter. I wanted to be one of those people.
I thought about the trip to LA and how badly I wanted him that first night we made love. It felt so perfect to me, just like the nights that followed. He romanced me so well the weeks following that trip and I felt my eyes well with tears as I remembered how I had believed that he was sincere.
I wondered if he told his friend that we slept together and if it was in time for him to win the bet. How much money was I worth? It made my stomach turn to think that he had done this before with other women. The text message had mentioned a fuck list and I pinched my eyes closed.
Carter had a list. He slept with women and he and his friend bet money over it. It was sick, but I shouldn’t be surprised. He’d been a player in high school, and now he was the big man in New York City. He probably had women throwing themselves at him and I cringed as I thought about the unprotected sex that we had so many times. I would go and get tested as soon as possible. I would never be so stupid again.
Ever.
I slept poorly that night. In the morning, I took a shower before waking Mason up. I dressed in black slacks and a white shirt. I looked in the mirror and saw my red eyes. I did what I could so Mason wouldn’t notice, pulling my hair into an easy ponytail.
He got off to school fine and I took the train in, sipping coffee as I thought about talking to Pam from HR. She was a nice woman and I’d just tell her that I wasn’t comfortable working with Carter. There didn’t have to be any accusations or knowledge of us sleeping together. She’d work with me if I wasn’t comfortable. It was a big company.
I heard the announcement of my stop and glanced up with wide eyes. I was mentally drained and forced myself to get off with the crowd. I walked the few blocks to the beautiful building that used to hold so much hope to me.
I was later than usual. I had no intention of going to Carter’s office so I went to Pam’s office and asked her PA if I could have a word with Pam. The girl’s face took on a fearful expression when I told her my name. She said that she’d notify Pam that I was here. I dropped down into a seat and sighed heavily as I grasped the little strength that I had left.
Not much later, Pam came up to me and told me to come in, scanning the hallway behind us. I followed her to her office and looked out at the buildings as I mustered up the courage to tell her what I wanted. She settled into her seat and sipped her coffee. “What can I do for you, Vivian?” I took a deep breath.
“I was hoping for a transfer, to be honest.”
“Why?” she asked, frowning at me. Concern laced her voice.
“I’m just not comfortable working for him,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t ask further.
“Is he harassing you?” she pressed on. I heard the door open behind me and her eyes stared past me. I turned to see Carter standing in the doorway. I pushed back against the seat as he strode in and stared at Pam.
“Can you leave us alone? Vivian and I need to talk,” he said coldly to her. She pushed away from her desk and shot me a sympathetic look. He was her boss and she had to do what he wanted. I closed my eyes as she left and he closed the door.
“What do you want?” I asked weakly, feeling all of my pain return.
“What are you doing here?” His voice was ragged and demanding and I sighed.
“I was asking for a transfer, Carter. I want to work here but I can’t bear the idea of working with you. I can’t see you after knowing about that text and what you did.” I stared at the floor as he pulled up a chair and sat in front of me.
“The bet was wrong but I think that you might be hiding something from me as well.” I looked at him, trying to calm down the sudden pounding of my heart. “Your son has my grandmother’s eyes, Vivian. Why the fuck does he have her eyes and I have never known a thing about him? I don’t even know his name.” I started to cry as he leaned closer. “Is he my son?”
I rested my face in my hands and cried harder. “I’m so sorry, Carter,” I said in between two sobs. “Yes. Mason is your son.” I heard him push back the chair. He said something to Pam before leaving the room. I reached for a tissue from her desk to clean myself up before she’d come in. But it was useless.
“He said that you won’t be leaving the company, Vivian,” Pam said as she closed the door behind her. “Listen, I don’t know what happened between you but go ahead and take the day off until I hear more. It will be paid per his orders.” She looked sad and curious as I nodded and reached for another tissue.
“Thank you. I’ll wait for your call,” I said in a shaking voice. I stood and took a deep breath. I had no idea what was going to happen but it sounded like I still had a job. I just didn’t have Carter.
I left the building and took the train home, ignoring the looks from the other passengers as I kept crying. Everything was uncertain right now, apart from the fact that I was getting paid for today. I was getting paid to lose my mind and know that my son’s father hated me. I was pretty sure I hated him for what he did as well but that didn’t seem to matter as much right now. I was in love with him and my lie ruined any chances with him.
I made my way home once I was at my stop, locking myself inside the house for a few hours before Mason came home. It was a repeat of yesterday with an even more uncertain future. I didn’t know what I was going to do except try the best I could for my son. We’d be okay together. I had always taken care of him on my own and I could keep doing that.
I could do this without Carter. I could get over him all over again and be stronger for it. I cried until it was time for Mason to come home. I rinsed my face with cold water before calling Lainie to tell her that I’d get him today.
Chapter 16 - Carter
I left the office with her words playing through my mind. His name was Mason and he was my son.
I knew that I didn’t want Vivian to lose her job but I needed time to think about things before I made a final decision. I needed space and I went to the gym and worked out for an hour as I made a plan.
I thought about what my dad told me and considered both lies. Both were awful and while the lie about my son seemed to be so much worse, in theory, Vivian had been hurt badly when she read that text. We both lied and had both been hurt, but did it mean that it was over between us? I loved Vivian and knew now that I had for years. I wanted to know and love my son at the very least.
I left the gym and showered before going to my SUV in the parking garage. I didn’t drive it often but I needed the room today and some privacy. I had a lot of errands to run. I went to the best toy store that I knew and walked through the aisles. I knew that Vivian didn’t have a huge apartment so I only spent a few hundred dollars before carrying the bags to my car. I loaded them in the trunk and drove to another store to make a purchase for Vivian. I wanted to impress her and show her that I loved her. I wanted to make things right.
My last stop was for Thai food since that was her favorite. It always had been. I took the big bag of food and headed to her place in Brooklyn. I managed to get into the building as another tenant was leaving and knocked on her door, blood pounding through my veins as I waited.
The door opened and Vivian stared at me in silence. She looked like she’d been crying all day and she searched my face before she looked down at the bags at my feet. “What are you doing here?”
“Where is he?” I asked as she looked back into the apartment.
“He’s in his room right now.”
“I want to be a part of your lives, Vivian. I know that I left earlier but I needed to think and
this is what I came up with.” I handed her the huge bouquet of flowers and gestured at the bags at my feet. Vivian took the flowers with a shocked look on her face.
“Our lives?” Her voice was low and I nodded. I saw movement behind her. It was Mason. He walked forward to stare at the bags around my feet.
“What’s all this stuff?” he asked in a shy voice as he looked over the bags and then at me. “Who are you?”
“This is my friend, Carter,” Vivian spoke quickly and I looked at her. “Meet Mason.”
We shook hands as he kept looking from me to his mother. She invited me in and she and Mason helped me with the bags. We went into the small living room and started opening the bags. I showed him the things that I had bought for him while Vivian was watching us. He looked at the toys with wide eyes. I helped him get them out of the packages. “Why did you bring me this?” he asked me with a questioning gaze. “It’s not my birthday or Christmas.”
“I just stopped by the store and thought you might like some of this stuff. When is your birthday?” I asked him.
“October eighteenth,” he told me as I grinned at him. “I have to wait for a few months.”
“You have this stuff to tide you over,” I gestured to the toys as he started to play with a toy that you put together. I looked at Vivian. “Are you guys hungry? I brought food. Thai, your favorite.” Vivian shot me a shy smile.
“Yes, I’m hungry!” Mason abandoned the toys and ran towards the kitchen as I dropped my head back and laughed. I already loved this kid. I watched as his beautiful mother led him to the kitchen to get him a plate.
I went after them and put the bag on the counter. Vivian spooned food onto Mason’s plate and put it on the table for him. “Thank you for all of this,” she said, giving me a grateful look as we fixed our plates too, speaking in low voices.
“He’s a great kid, Viv. And I’m not just saying that because he’s mine. You did an amazing job.” I smiled at her as she blinked. “I want to take care of both of you.”
“I’m sorry. I kept him from you and your family.” Her voice was low and she stared at the counter for a moment.
“We’ll talk about it later. Let’s eat first,” I suggested and we took our plates to the small table. I asked Mason all about school and his favorite activities. I found out that Vivian raised him to be a hockey fan. I asked him if he’d like to see some games with me and he nodded with wide eyes. I told him that we could even meet the players some time and he stared at Vivian.
“Can we, Mom?” She nodded and gave me a soft smile before we cleaned up the dishes. Vivian gave Mason his bath while I waited in the living room. I ended up reading to him in his bed, watching his eyes blink slowly as he fought sleep.
Once he was asleep, I made my way to the living room and found Vivian curled up on the couch in leggings and a worn t-shirt. She asked me how it went. “He likes to fight sleep, doesn’t he?” I asked as she nodded with a chuckle. “It went well. He likes to be read to.”
“Yes, he does.” She smiled sweetly as she looked at me. “Do you hate me?”
“I was angry once I realized that he was mine. I won’t lie. Why didn’t you tell me?” She took a deep breath.
“I knew that you wanted to leave our hometown to make it big. I found out that I was pregnant after you left and I thought long and hard about what I was going to do. I decided not to tell you because I didn’t want you to come back to me just because of the baby. I didn’t want you to sacrifice your dreams for me. I was afraid you’d never love me once you realized what you’d have to give up for us. I knew that if I really loved you, I’d have to let you go, let you live your dreams.” Vivian shrugged as a sad look crossed her face. “I never forgot you though. I thought about you so much. I loved you even when I let you go.”
“And my parents? Didn’t they ever see him?” I asked as she scrunched up her face.
“I made sure of it. I didn’t want to hurt them in the process of all of this and I wish that I could take it all back now. I am so sorry.” She glanced at me.
“I forgive you. I did leave town like my ass was on fire. All I could think about was my goals. I was an idiot for leaving you.” I thought about the text message and gazed at her. “I lied as well. I never meant for you to see Shane’s message. To be honest, you stopped being a bet weeks ago. I didn’t set us on a timer or even care about the deal I made with him. I did some stupid shit before you, Vivian. But you changed everything.” I slipped my arm around her and pulled her close to me.
“You really had a fuck list of women?” she asked. I winced and nodded.
“I didn’t care about anything but quick sex and money. I hate saying that but it’s true. I just kept moving so fast and not caring about anything.” I kissed her softly. “Once you walked back into my life, I realized that you were the one thing I regretted losing the most.”
“I am?” Her voice was soft as I nodded.
“I love you, Vivian. I want to make this right with us and get to know Mason. We can take time to let him get to know me and tell him who I am. I know that it’s just been the two of you for a long time.” She smiled and a tear slid down her cheek.
“I love you, Carter. I’ve waited years to tell you that.” She leaned up to kiss me and I let the heat flow easily between us. I knew that I couldn’t live without her in my life. I slipped my tongue into her mouth as she moaned into mine.
Once we got started, I knew that I needed to be inside of her. I slipped my hands over her clothed body and we kissed hungrily. My hands kneaded her ass as she straddled me. Vivian pulled away reluctantly, looking over at the hallway. “I’d like to take this to my bedroom. There are a door and time to stop before he sees it.” She blushed. “I’ve never done this with him in the house before.”
“Never?” I asked as she shook her head. “Do you mean in the same house or in general?”
“I didn’t date after he was born. I was busy.” She shrugged and I cupped her face for another kiss. I loved that I was the last man that she was with, then and now. I wanted it to stay that way and we got caught up in a heated kiss all over again as she whimpered into my mouth.
“I love you,” I told her as I lifted her body and carried her to her room. I closed the door gently, locking it behind me as I carried her to the bed. We kissed as I pressed her down into the mattress, our tongues dancing together hungrily. I undressed her, kissing her body all over as I memorized her scent and taste.
She came the first time on my tongue as she whispered my name. The next time, she was riding my cock slowly as she bent down to kiss me, her pussy wrapped tightly around me. Vivian was tight and wet as she moved and I clutched her ass as I felt myself edging closer to a release.
We came within seconds of each other, keeping quiet as we kissed slowly. I never felt this way with a woman and I held her close as she recovered, asking her if I could stay the night.
I got up the next morning to make them breakfast. Mason seemed happy to see me. Once he was off to school, I told Vivian that she was welcome to come back to work if she wanted to. We could work together for a while and see what panned out, but I would love her no matter what.
She told me she loved me as well and I kissed her against the fridge, asking her if she wanted to go back to bed and make some noise this time.
Epilogue - Carter
The next two years with Vivian were the happiest of my life. We fell more in love with each other every day and tried to spend as much time with each other and Mason as we could. A few months into it, we decided to tell Mason the truth about who I was to him. We took him out to dinner for his birthday to his favorite pizza place and told him that I was his father and loved him very much.
Mason told me that he loved me as well that night. It seemed to all fall into place and I took the next few months to build our relationship as father and son. I asked Vivian to move in with me six months into it. At that point, everyone in the company knew that we were together, and although people were
fine with it, it made Vivian feel uncomfortable. Plus, she wanted to be able to help out at Mason’s school more, so she quit her job.
I didn’t care. I just wanted her in my life.
We started spending more and more weekends in Vermont so that Mason could visit both sets of grandparents. He told us a few times that he wanted to live there and I noticed that I also longed for the quiet and peace of the small town more and more often.
I started looking for available property around town and finally found a beautiful house that I knew Vivian would love. I took Vivian to the house to surprise her. She cried when I told her this was our house now and that we would be moving here. I kissed her and we moved together as the kiss made me weak. It always did.
I gave her a tour of her new home and she loved everything about it, as I knew she would. After the tour, I took her to the porch and dropped down to one knee as the sun went down, telling her how much I loved her. When I asked her to be my wife, she threw her arms around me and kissed me hard. I took that as a yes.
We got married in the beautiful church in our home town. All of our friends and family were there, and it was the best day of my life. I kept the company but had some of my top managers take over running it, going out to meetings every few months. I felt so complete now that I had a future planned with Vivian. We were a family now, and I had nothing else to wish for.
Vivian
I looked into the mirror as Lainie fixed my curls with a smile, tears filling her eyes. “I knew from the day I saw you with him that Carter was it for you.”
“You did?” I asked as she nodded and wiped a tear away.
“You just looked like you were into him. I had only ever seen you into Mason before that. You are so happy now. Everything is easier. I just wish you hadn’t moved away from me.” Lainie mock pouted at me and I gave her a sad smile.
My Bossy Protector: A Best Friend’s Brother Romance Page 68
