by Posy Roberts
Sebastian had found two pair of shoes that fit, a few warm sweaters, a super-warm coat that Louis insisted was too small, and T-shirts, both long- and short-sleeved. Everything was folded into neat rectangles, and Sebastian was slipping out of the coat when Louis disappeared. When he came back with the colorful stack of socks with a cushioned sole, Sebastian realized what was going on. “You don’t have to do this. These are your socks, and you’re a sock man.”
“Well, as much as I like these,” Louis teased as he sat back down on the closet floor, “they don’t have flowers or hedgehogs or cactuses on them.”
Sebastian laughed as he picked up a pair that had a bee on it. “Not a bee fan?”
“I like their honey.”
“Okay, okay. You twisted my arm.”
“Good.” Louis beamed. “And why don’t you spend the night? You’re more than welcome to.”
A warm bed. No wind. Sebastian wouldn’t have to worry about being woken by exhaust fumes or sirens or Javon and Emily having a lovers’ quarrel feet away. But . . .
“No. Thank you, Louis, but I can’t accept that offer.”
“Why not?”
Sebastian sighed. “Because in three weeks, you won’t be able to find twenty dollars or a book you wanted to read again, and the first thing that you’ll think is, ‘Fucking Bash stole it!’ And you’ll hate me. You’ll rage at me, and even though I won’t be here to witness it, I’ll know you hated me.” Sebastian threaded his fingers together and squeezed them until his knuckles turned white. “Aside from those on the streets or the people paid to help me, you’re the first person to be truly kind to me without getting something in return. And to have you think of me like that, I couldn’t bear it.”
“That won’t happen.”
“It will, and an hour or a week or even a year later when you run across that money or that book, I won’t cross your mind again. You’ll be all, ‘Oh, that’s where I put it,’ as you pick up the book. I won’t even be a footnote in your thoughts, and that’s somehow even worse than being blamed for something I didn’t do.”
Louis ran a warm hand down Sebastian’s bicep. “It won’t happen because most every square foot of this place is captured by a security camera. The owner is a bit of a freak. So if anything went missing, which I don’t think will happen, mind you, but if it did, I wouldn’t immediately think of you.”
“And why is that?”
Louis palmed his forehead and let out a groan. “As much as it pains me to admit this aloud, I have a horrible memory. I’m always misplacing things and I’ve actually used the security footage to help me find shit. I don’t always think before I do stuff, which is how I ended up bringing fucking crabs to the food pantry and running into this . . . really cool guy I was lucky enough to spend the evening with. So if I couldn’t find the book or whatever, I could look on the security footage and discover I put that book in the dishwasher and the coffee mug on the bookshelf.”
Sebastian snorted.
Louis joined in with a chuckle of his own. “Yeah, I’ve done that one before. With a briefing I’d worked ages on. Handwritten notes in water-soluble ink, actually.” He shook his head. “The next morning I went to get a spoon for my cereal. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. Imagine cooked paper pulp all over every plate and glass, the walls of the dishwasher, wrapped around every peg and divider.”
Sebastian’s groan of sympathy made Louis smile.
“I’m not offering my guest bed out of some sense of duty. I honest to God don’t want you out on the streets tonight.” He gestured toward the window.
Sebastian gasped as it registered that a blanket of snow covered everything. “How did that happen so fast?”
“The joys of wet snow. It accumulates the second you turn your back.” Louis cupped Sebastian’s elbow and looked right into his soul. “So, Bash Lewis, will you please stay in the room across the hall from mine so I can get to sleep tonight rather than worrying the night away? I don’t do well with shitty sleep.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Well, when you put it that way, how can I resist?”
Louis stood and slapped his thighs, heading out into the hallway with determination, so Sebastian followed. “Okay. Let’s get you settled. Come on. Do you prefer feather or foam pillows?”
“Yes.”
Louis laughed. “Both? No problem. One? Two? Three?”
“Keep going.”
Louis opened a linen closet and pulled out several pillows. “I have five.” He passed three to Sebastian and grabbed the other two so Sebastian could see over his tower of pillows when he walked. “Want a heating pad?”
“Okay.” A laugh burbled up from nowhere Sebastian knew existed prior to that moment. “I’ll take every luxury item you have in the house.”
“I’ll get a mint for your pillow even. Go get settled. I’ll be right back.”
“You don’t have to get me a mint, you dork.”
“I’m getting you pajama pants and a mint. Let me spoil you, Bash. I haven’t spoiled anyone in ages.”
Louis watched Bash crawl under the covers and arrange the million pillows until he was nearly buried. “All set?”
Bash hummed. “I’m toasty.”
“Want a nightlight?”
“Nah. I’m good like this.”
“Okay. Sleep tight. I’m . . . Well, you know where I’ll be. If you need anything or can’t sleep, come find me.”
“Night, Louis, the nicest man alive.”
Louis chuckled. “Night, Bash, the coziest man on the block.” Louis shut off the light and left the door open a crack. He’d leave the light on in the laundry closet, which gave off just enough of a glow to see in case Bash woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
He made quick work of brushing his teeth and getting changed into pajamas, and as soon as he was settled under the covers and had his phone charging, he shot Leah a text.
Louis: Just so you know, we didn’t have sex. We kissed, but mostly we talked.
Leah: Did you talk about expectations?
Louis: Yeah. You were right. I gave him some clothes, and he thought I wanted a blow job in return.
Leah: So the conversation was . . . foisted into your lap, huh?
Louis: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Leah: ;) Did you take him to a shelter or something?
Louis grimaced. This wouldn’t go down well.
Louis: He’s sleeping across the hall with every pillow I own besides the one I’m using.
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared.
They did their blinky thing for a long time. Clearly she had a lot to say.
And then they disappeared again. But he knew it was because she was still typing. Unless she’d thrown her phone across the room in a fit of rage.
Leah: What are you thinking? You’re not this dumb. I KNOW you’re not dumb at all, but you’re acting like a fool. What if he waits for you to fall asleep and he calls his crew—
“His crew?” slipped through his lips. “Come on, Leah. What are you thinking?” He took up reading again.
—and he calls his crew to clean you out while you sleep. You could wake up to an empty house. And yeah, I know all about your damn security system, but what good will that be if all your belongings are already on a semi to be auctioned off to fund a sex ring that steals kids to groom.
She was typing again before he finished reading her first paragraph, so he watched the blinkies do their thing again.
Leah: I know you want to help. It’s in your blood, especially since Mati died, but this is going too far. You fed him. You let him shower. I bet you washed his clothes. In fact, I know you did. You probably let him go shopping in your closet too.
Louis: I did, actually. All those things. And offered him a warm bed. It’s snowing. It’s cold.
Leah: You can’t be his savior . . .
Louis: Who says he needs one?
The dots danced and disappeared before doing the wa
ltz again. He’d stumped her. That was unusual for such a simple question.
Leah: Tell me about the kiss.
That took him aback. He really did stump her if she was willing to go so far off track. But he told her. He avoided telling her how it happened, just that it was nice, that he loved the feel of scruff against his chin and cheeks. How it tickled his lips. How it felt so different from kissing women.
He’d gone on a few dates in the last few months, but the second it moved to kissing, he checked out. Bailed, really. But he’d only dated women.
Bash’s kisses had felt nothing like those. They were new and foreign, so his brain didn’t shoot back to loss and despair.
Louis: I’m glad it happened. I needed this.
Leah: Maybe you did. Maybe you need someone who is so different from Mati that there’s no way for you to compare.
She was right, and he told her as much. They ended their conversation with an emoji-off, her winning when Louis could no longer keep his eyes open.
Sebastian woke to a squeaking and didn’t know where the hell he was. He sat up, heart racing, and glanced around a room he didn’t recognize at all. It was stark, nearly empty, but there were pillows surrounding him.
Last night flashed through his mind and everything came crashing back.
“Louis,” he whispered.
The squeak again.
A mouse? Can mice climb stairs? A rat?
And again. They came closer and closer together and grew louder.
Sebastian grabbed an armful of pillows and ran from the room. No way in hell was he gonna get bit by a rat. The last thing he needed was rat fever or rabies or whatever the fuck they transmitted.
Louis said he could wake him if he couldn’t sleep, and he’d want to know he had a rat in his house, right? Right?
“Yeah, he would.”
Still, Sebastian tiptoed into Louis’s bedroom, giving his eyes time to adjust to the pitch-black space. Then he lifted the down comforter—so soft—and, stealthy as he could, eased under the covers and arranged the pillows he’d brought along.
Louis’s body heat called to him, drawing him closer. He curled around Louis’s back, spooning him. So warm. Not that he’d been chilled in the guest room, but lying beside another person, sharing body heat . . . There wasn’t a thing in the world quite like it except for a hot soak in a huge tub.
He settled his palm on Louis’s hip, barely breathing from his fear of being discovered quite yet. He didn’t know what Louis’s startle reaction would be, so he was hoping to gently wake him. But maybe he was one of those light sleepers who woke the second someone uttered his name, and he’d end up with an elbow to the nose. His mom had been that way.
Louis reached for Sebastian’s hand and drew it up his chest, where he . . . cuddled it like a toddler cuddles a stuffed bear.
Cozying up to a warm body was far better than a bath, he decided.
Sebastian took a moment to soak this in. This was . . . intimate. He felt safe here. The last time he felt this secure was years ago.
A deep breath to push the past back where it belonged. He wasn’t about to let it intrude on this moment.
Louis smelled so good. Musky and earthy. He scooted even closer to draw Louis’s scent in deeper, the tip of his cold nose skirting Louis’s spine.
Louis shifted and made a soft sound. Then, “Bash? Are you okay?” He squeezed Sebastian’s hand and then flipped to face him. “What’s going on?”
Even though Louis spoke aloud, Sebastian answered on a whisper. “I think you have a rat. I heard something squeaking.”
“What?”
Sebastian imitated what it sounded like, trying his best to emulate the rhythm and the way it sped up.
Louis reached over to his night table, and while Sebastian expected him to turn on the light to go investigate, that’s not what Louis did at all. Instead, he grabbed his phone, clicked it to life, and laughed.
“What’s so funny? I could’ve gotten rabies, ya realize.”
But that just made Louis smile at him. He palmed Sebastian’s jaw and shook his head. “My neighbor. She’s obsessive about her workouts, and her elliptical is on the other side of the guest room wall.”
“She needs to grease that damn thing, then.”
Louis nodded. “She has. I have. The damn thing is louder than hell.”
“She needs better grease, then. Silicone or something.”
“Perhaps she needs a new elliptical.”
“What time is it, anyway?”
Louis clicked his phone again and let Sebastian see for himself. “That’s her usual time.”
4:17 a.m.
“Wow. It feels like I just crawled into bed.”
“Does that mean you slept well?” Louis asked.
“Like the dead.”
“Well, give me another hour and a half.”
Sebastian boldly snuggled into his side. “Only if I can share your body heat.”
Louis hummed and drew him even closer, threading their fingers together. “Deal. Now get a few more winks in. I refuse to get up before the sun does on my semivacation.”
10
Snowed In
Despite his protestations, Louis was up before the sun rose, but he left Bash to sleep in. And he had no plans on waking him. He’d let the guy sleep until it was dark again if he needed it. Who knew how exhausted he was or how long it had been since he’d slept in a safe, warm, comfortable space? It would be hours before the side streets were cleared of the snow that fell last night anyway, so there was no rush.
Louis had set aside some work to use as a distraction so he didn’t fall into a deep depression during the lonely holiday, but now he wanted to get it out of the way. He had no clue if he’d see Bash beyond today, but he’d like to spend more time with him. So, the work . . .
He booted up his laptop and then got eaten alive by his inbox, as usual. He only took time enough to refill his coffee and to whip up an egg bake before he was back at it.
At nine, he scanned the latest news, which spurred him to shoot off a few more emails. He ended up in a call with Oscar and one joint chat session with a few colleagues to divvy up the new work that had come in: fires to be put out, senators and representatives to contact, and a few messages to be shot off to trusted reporters.
The timer went off to signal the egg bake was done, and when he pulled it from the oven, the cheesy dish made his mouth water. In a matter of minutes, he had a tray loaded and was easing his bedroom door open.
Bash shifted and his eyes fluttered open. He glanced around the room as though he didn’t recall where he was before he settled on Louis.
“Hungry?”
Bash nodded and croaked, “Morning.”
“Sleep well?”
He let out a contented moan and sat up against the headboard. His hair was a mess, long pieces clearly having a mind of their own and choosing to go everywhere but the right direction. It made his sleep-rumpled face even cuter.
Louis sighed. He couldn’t go down this path. The kiss last night was one thing, but Bash wasn’t in a good place for any sort of relationship. Be it sex-only or otherwise. And if the last several months of dating had taught Louis anything, it was that . . . Well, what he felt last night in the bathroom wasn’t typical. Not one person he’d been on a date with had made him feel like Bash had in the breadth of an hour.
“So, it snowed even more. The meteorologists were right,” Louis said as he poured Bash a cup of coffee and watched him doctor it with cream and three sugars. “Like it sweet, huh?”
Bash took a sip, humming into his mug with appreciation. “How much did we get?”
“Eight inches.”
Bash snorted, then sobered. “That’s unusual, isn’t it?” His voice was smoothed now that the hot coffee had a chance to work.
Louis gave a tilt of his head. “Climate change’ll do that.”
“Is the Metro running?” Bash brought a forkful of egg bake to his mouth and blew on it. Steam cu
rled out, up, and then around his messy hair, obscuring his eyes for a moment.
“Yeah. Some lines were delayed when I first got up.”
“How long have you been up? I don’t know what time it is. My phone died.”
“Been up for a few hours. It’s ten-ish. Do you need a charger?”
“Nah. I have one, but I didn’t bother digging it out of my backpack last night.”
Louis shrugged. “Well, feel free to charge it. Make yourself at home. Shower. I already put clean towels out for you. And if you want to eat in the kitchen instead of in bed . . .” He gestured toward the tray.
Bash gave him a half smile. “You won’t eat in bed with me?”
“You want company again?”
“I do. I think that’s the worst part about being homeless, actually.”
“Not having company?”
“No. Becoming invisible so that normal, basic conversation no longer happens. Human-decency stuff. People clam up around me or get rude the second they realize.”
“Well, I’ll be happy to join you. I didn’t want to presume.”
“Louis, it’s your house. Your bed. Presume away.”
Louis nodded and left the room, grinning the entire way to the kitchen to load a plate, pilfer a fork from the dishwasher, and grab a coffee mug for himself. After getting settled beside Bash, coffee cup now filled to the brim, Louis took a few bites before he decided to go for broke.
“I got my next few weeks of work done and out of the way.”
“Good for you. I bet that feels great.” Bash missed Louis’s hint entirely.
“I was going to hide in my work so I didn’t feel so lonely, but now I don’t have that as a distraction.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something to do. Marvin said you volunteer a lot.”
“I do, but I was thinking of doing something else.”
Bash took a huge bite and asked, “Like what?” around it.
