Talan pressed her hands to her cheeks. “Does it show?”
“I know you well, dear. And I’m proud of you. You were willing to find out what it feels like to be a woman.”
Talan thought of the way Rees had made love to her in the holo-room. The dark blue had spread to fill his eyes, and he’d pumped himself into her again and again.
In the end, he’d held her close against his burning skin. She’d heard his heart thumping extra fast. In a regular human, she’d have been alarmed and rushed him to the hospital.
Rees had seemed to be just fine. He’d kissed her hair and soothed her with his touch and his voice.
The grass had given her a small rash on her butt. That didn’t seem fair, because it wasn’t real grass, but the red and itchy patch had been real.
Rees hadn’t been able to stop laughing.
He’d gone with her to her bedroom, and he’d rubbed cream on her. That had taken care of the rash.
Rees had kept on teasing her, and then Lady Pet had sent for Talan. He’d been reclining on her bed, chuckling as she left.
“So,” Lady Petronella went on. “You’re finished with him.”
A slight pain pulled at Talan’s breastbone. “Finished?”
“You’ve coupled with him, learned some bed games. Time to send him away and move on, I’d think.”
Send him away. Yes, she knew she’d send him away after he’d taught her what she wanted to know. But it was too soon.
“I’m not ready yet.”
Lady Petronella gave her a pitying look. “Talan, my dear girl, you knew when you started that this was nothing more than research. Finding out what it was you were giving up.”
Talan flushed. “That sounds heartless.”
“You are an affectionate girl, my dear. It is natural that you feel some fondness for Rees.” She leaned forward, her stiff skirts rustling. “But he is Sha reem, Talan. Sha reem were not made for affection, they were made for sex. Nothing more. Pleasure without attachment. That’s what made them so attractive, and why DNAmo made so much money from them.”
“ Sha reem can love,” Talan said woodenly.
Lady Pet’s brows climbed. “And how do you know that?”
Talan said nothing.
“If Rees told you that, he was lying,” Lady Petronella said. “I know about Sha reem, I went with them when I was young. They give pleasure, and that is all. They know their business, but they are hardly like the rest of us.” She sighed. “I always thought it must be nice not to be plagued with certain emotions.”
“They are human,” Talan flashed. “They have emotions, just like the rest of us.”
Lady Pet patted her knee. “Now, dear, I know how you like to crusade. But Sha reem are what they are, and they like it that way. The best thing you can do for them is to leave them alone.”
Her lips felt stiff. “You mean, leave Rees alone. Let him go.”
“Rees is a level two,” Lady Pet said thoughtfully. “It might seem that he is affectionate at those levels. What I’d like to see you do, my dear, is go with a level three. Experience all of it. Then you’ll understand what Sha reem truly are.”
Talan’s thoughts flashed to Rio and what he’d said to her in Judith’s bar. It’s surrendering and trusting, letting go. It’s opening yourself. Putting yourself in the hands of another.
She had already surrendered herself to Rees. What would it be like to surrender to Rio?
She shivered. Rio would frighten her. Rees didn’t.
Lady Pet watched her closely. “Does Rees know any level threes?”
Talan nodded. “He does.”
“Well then, there you are. Ask Rees to send his level three friend to you on his way out.”
Again, Talan was struck with the heartlessness of it. When she’d teasingly mentioned she’d go out with Rio, Rees’ eyes had darkened with jealousy.
Lady Pet was wrong. The Sha reem did feel.
“You do want to experience level three, don’t you?” Lady Pet went on. “I assure you, dear, it’s worth it.”
Talan had already learned excitement beyond belief with Rees. The idea that there was more excitement to be had seemed incredible.
“Do this for me,” Lady Pet said. “Being with a level three will also cure you of this idea of affection between you and a Sha reem.” She shook her head. “You do take things too far, Talan.”
Deep inside, a little voice told Talan that Lady Pet was right. Talan had allowed herself to care about Rees, which was a foolish thing to do.
When Rees had told her that Sha reem could love, he’d been talking about Rio. And maybe Rees had not really understood what he was talking about.
If a person couldn’t fall in love, could they understand what it was truly like?
Talan had blurted twice to Rees that she loved him. Both times, he’d simply shrugged it off or told her that he was making her feel like that.
And he probably had been. Sha reem could relax a woman, soothe her, make her believe all kinds of things.
Perhaps she’d mistaken Sha reem skill for affection.
Well, then, Rees wouldn’t mind if she asked to see Rio.
Lady Petronella was wise.
She looked Lady Pet in the eye. “All right,” she said. “I will send for the level three. I will experience everything. And then I will be finished.”
She rose to her feet, stalked to the door, and went out, head high.
When the door closed, Lady Petronella sighed and rang for Metri.
* * * * *
Rees raised his head when he sensed Talan enter the room again.
He wanted her so much. The wanting was driving him insane. He’d never felt anything like it before.
When she’d looked at him and said I love you, Rees, he’d so wanted that to be her own feelings and not what he did to her mind.
He looked at her from where he lounged on the bed, gave her a smile. Her nipples were pressing against her tunic, hard as little pebbles.
When he’d first met her, she’d buried herself under robes. Now she wore the thinnest of tunics as if she weren’t ashamed of her body any longer.
She knew what she was, and she accepted it.
He patted the bed. “Come and sit next to me, sweetheart.”
She closed the door. She didn’t come to the bed.
“You have to go, Rees,” she said. “Go back home and leave me alone.”
The joy drained out of the room in a hurry. “Why?” he asked. “What happened?”
“Nothing’s happened.” She would not look directly at him. “But we’re finished, aren’t we?”
“Are we?”
She was beautiful with her hair curling around her face and her folded arms pushing up her breasts.
“We are finished, Rees,” she said quietly. “There’s nothing more you can teach me.”
Rees stood up. He’d put his own tunic back on. “Not quite, Talan.”
“You are level two. I want to learn level three.”
“You’re not ready for level three.”
“Yes, I am.”
He pitched his voice to be soft and seductive. “Talan, my innocent sweetheart, you are nowhere near ready for level three.”
She knew that. He could tell by the look in her eyes. But something was making her stubborn.
“I would like you to send for Rio. Tell him that I want him to teach me.”
“And you are definitely not ready for Rio.”
“You know everything about me, do you?” she asked, flushing.
He went to her. “Yeah, I do. I know you’re not ready for Rio, so just forget about it.”
“I don’t have to do everything you say.”
“Talan, don’t be stupid.”
“And stop telling me I’m stupid!”
He put his hands on her rigid arms, stroked with his thumbs. He felt her soften to his touch, but she remained troubled.
“What’s the matter, baby? What did Lady Petronella say to you?”
/>
She frowned. “She told me I was stupid. Not in so many words, but she meant it. And she’s right. I am.”
“I’m glad you admit it. Don’t mess with Rio, Talan. You’ll regret it.”
“Fine, then, don’t send Rio. Find another level three for me.”
“Why are you so anxious for level three? What we’ve been doing isn’t good enough for you?”
He saw lust well up in her eyes. No, she liked how he fucked her. She couldn’t hide that.
“It was fine,” she snapped. “But I want to get on with it so I can be finished and get back to my life.”
“Your perfect life of separating your intellect from your body.”
“There is nothing wrong with that! Plenty of people do it. It’s purifying.”
Rees tightened his grip on her arms. “You’ve just learned to like your body, how to not be afraid of it. Why do you want to throw that away all of a sudden?”
“It is not all of a sudden. That was my plan all along. Discover the feelings of my body, and then free myself from them.”
“That’s it, Talan, rub it in that you’re using me.”
“Isn’t that what Sha reem are for?”
He stopped. She glared up at him.
If any other woman had said those words, he would have said “That’s right, baby” or shrugged it off. It was true, Sha reem were made to be used.
They’d been made not to have strong emotions so they wouldn’t care.
That’s where DNAmo had fucked up. You could mess with DNA to suppress chemicals to keep away severe depression and stuff like that. You could mess with DNA to enhance other brain chemicals that made you feel peaceful.
But DNAmo couldn’t suppress all emotion, no matter how much they claimed they could.
Sha reem never showed emotion at DNAmo, because what was the point?
If a Sha reem let himself be happy or hopeful or like someone too much, he got hurt. Better to act like he didn’t care.
DNAmo thought they’d done something smart. The Sha reem learned how to keep themselves detached.
So why hadn’t Rees kept himself detached from Talan? From the minute he’d seen her, he’d been screwed.
The stupid one in this room is me.
And now her “I’m done with you, Rees, send in Rio” act really pissed him off.
“If you want a level three,” he said, voice hard, “you don’t need Rio. I’ll do it.”
“But you’re only a level two,” Talan said. She stopped. “Aren’t you?”
“No.”
“What are you then?” she asked faintly.
He cupped her shoulders, leaned down to put his face an inch from hers. “I’ll do your level three, little girl. Better say your prayers to whatever gods you like best. They might show you some mercy, because I sure won’t.”
Chapter Twelve
Talan sat alone in her study later that evening, her nerves jumping.
Rees had told her to eat dinner and then rest as much as she could, because she’d need it for the night to come.
She’d been far too jittery to lie on her bed and sleep.
When Rees had taken hold of her, his eyes had gone Sha reem dark, and she knew she’d just made a big mistake.
The friendly, smiling Rees had disappeared. He’d been angry, and in his anger, he’d let her see the very dangerous man behind his smile.
Suddenly Rio seemed as playful as a kitten.
Why had Rees lied to her? Why hadn’t he told her he was a level three right away?
She thought back and realized, to her chagrin, that he hadn’t actually told her he was level two. She’d assumed it, and he hadn’t corrected her.
She’d been with a level three all along. One who’d been holding himself back.
Oh, shit.
She’d gotten out of bed and wandered out of her bedroom. She had a suite of rooms, with a bedroom, bath, and study surrounding a small sitting room.
It was furnished in simple comfort, the decor changing as she grew from baby to child to girl to woman. She’d always loved her rooms.
Now she barely gave them a glance as she entered her study. She sat down in front of the terminal and pulled up all her research on Sha reem.
She searched Rio’s name and found him easily.
Level three, black hair, blue eyes, fondness for leather. “Charming,” a DNAmo programmer had written. “He’ll charm a lady right into his handcuffs. And then, watch out.”
Talan could almost hear the researcher giggling as she wrote it.
She did a search on Rees.
She found nothing.
She did the search again in several different DNAmo archived databases. She looked under level threes, where she found Rio again, but no Rees.
She looked under level two, just in case. He wasn’t there either, nor was he listed as a level one.
He wasn’t listed at all.
She stared at the terminal, puzzled. He might have changed his name, she reasoned, when DNAmo went out of business and left Bor Narga.
She brought up a list of all the Sha reem and scrolled through them one at a time. Each had a description and a holograph that turned slowly so she could see the torso of each one. They were all naked, of course.
It was a lovely catalog of beautiful men available for a lady’s pleasure. She wondered idly what had become of them all.
Not one of them was Rees.
She sat back, puzzled. Rees was Sha reem. He had the Sha reem eyes and the Sha reem physique, and the Sha reem voice and touch. Rio knew he was Sha reem, and so did Judith.
So why was he not listed in DNAmo’s databases?
She slowly scrolled through DNAmo’s data again, to see if they’d hidden him somewhere.
Perhaps, she thought, Rees wasn’t from DNAmo. Perhaps some rogue company had made him.
But DNAmo’s technology had been highly advanced and very secret. No one could simply make a Sha reem in their basement. At least, not without everyone on Bor Narga hearing about it.
As she picked her way through the databases, she came to a folder she’d not seen before, buried among unimportant accounting files.
The folder was marked “Special Projects”.
There were two special projects. One involved the creation of female Sha reem, which didn’t seem to have gone anywhere. They’d started too late and had been shut down before they could complete research.
The second special project was labeled R294E8S.
The file was locked and coded.
She broke the code on the first try. She stared at the screen, astonished. Then she realized that the lock had been time-stamped. It would open easily after a certain amount of time had elapsed, in this case, twenty years.
Perhaps DNAmo had decided that after that it wouldn’t matter.
Talan opened the files and scrolled through them, her heart beating fast.
The R294E8S project had involved the creation of a very special Sha reem. One more enhanced, more powerful, and more sexual than ordinary Sha reem.
The researchers had been very excited about the project and more than one note claimed they’d make billions from it.
Sha reem were all raised like normal children at first—at least, normal children isolated from other human beings.
R294E8S had been isolated even from other Sha reem. He’d been an adorable child, the researchers said, and very smart.
So smart that they’d lost control of him very quickly. They’d noted several times in the files their fears that they’d done something beyond the pale, and that they should terminate it.
But the researchers hadn’t had the heart to terminate a living, breathing little boy.
As he grew older, his powers increased, and when he grew into a man’s body, the researchers had begun to take great interest in him.
“He is amazingly resilient,” one wrote, “and changeable as a sandstorm. One minute he’s smiling that incredibly charming smile, the next, he has you on your knees begg
ing him to whip you.”
Talan shivered. She scrolled through the files, one by one, mesmerized.
They’d put R294E8S into many situations to see how he’d react. Sometimes he did nothing but talk, making conversation and joking with those conducting the experiment.
Other times, he’d confound them.
Talan read one account of a female researcher who’d volunteered to go into a holo-room with him. They’d wrapped R294E8S in chains, naked, and dropped him inside.
The researcher had brought a whip with her. They’d wanted to see what R294E8S did when dominated himself.
How he’d gotten himself out of those chains that fast, no one had ever been sure. Before the eyes of the horrified watchers, he’d freed himself and turned the tables on the would-be dominatrix.
He’d made her his willing slave in no time at all. Then he’d messed up the door lock so they couldn’t open the door from the outside.
For two days, R294E8S hadn’t slept or eaten, and neither had the researcher. He’d held the whip and made her obey his every command. She’d done it without fighting him.
One observer had written, “I couldn’t look, but I couldn’t look away. I creamed more times than I can remember, watching him control her, and fuck her, and make her do to him whatever he wanted. A secret part of me wished I could trade places with my unfortunate colleague.”
At last, R294E8S had opened the doors and strolled away, tossing the whip aside like he’d done nothing remarkable. He wasn’t even sweating.
They’d done more experiments, with rather willing volunteers. Sometimes he would do nothing at all, just wander the holo-room in a bored manner, waiting until they let him and the disappointed volunteer out.
Then came the day he’d taken over not only the holo-room, but the entire floor of the compound with two researchers as his captives. He’d told the watchers in the cameras that if they wanted a show, he’d give them a show.
One of captives had written of it shakily in her report notes. “He played with us. He stripped us, and whipped us, and made us beg for him. The strangest thing was, I felt no shame—indeed, I was happier than I ever had been in my life. I suspect he has empathic powers to make us feel so.
“One day he made me masturbate myself with my marking stylus. I was eager to do so, happy he watched me do it.
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