H: No judging. You can do what you want to, but . . . if you’re so quick to defend your friendship with him, maybe you should look a little deeper at your feelings. There could be something meaningful there.
Me: No. Really, he’s just a friend who makes me laugh.
H: Ok. So I’ll see you at the party then?
Me: Yup. See you Sat.
Heather was perceptive. But she was wrong this time. I only had room in my heart for Emmett. Well, and Alec, but he had a corner that was all his and always would be. Emmett understood and was okay with that. I sure as hell didn’t have room in my heart for another guy. While Aiden was attractive, he wasn’t my Emmett. My eyes started to fill with tears as I thought about Emmett again. It was that way most of the time. It was like he’d taken a piece of my soul with him when he left.
I called Gage over and hooked his leash back up then walked us back home. I couldn’t shake Emmett from my mind. I hoped, wherever he was, that he was okay. I curled up and watched a movie with a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream. After waking up on the couch, I got up and turned the TV off, went into the bedroom and pulled my PJs on before dropping into bed. With tears in my eyes, I stared at the empty space where Emmett should have been and dozed off.
I’d just finished getting ready for the party when I heard a horn honking out front of my apartment building. I grabbed my compact and lip-gloss and stuffed them in my jeans pockets along with a key to my apartment and my phone.
Locking the door behind me, I turned around to see Aiden, sitting in a cab, waiting for me. I ran over and got in. The driver took off to the address Aiden gave him.
“You look fantastic, Sam,” he said.
“Thanks. You, too,” I replied.
We arrived at the party, and it was an event to behold. There were cars parked everywhere in the street, and even a couple almost up in the front yard. The music was thumping, and there were people standing inside and outside of the house. It was a complete contrast to the first frat party I’d been to the night I met Emmett. Thoughts of him started to turn my mood somber, so I pushed them right out of my head. Tonight was supposed to be fun, and that was what I was going to do. Have fun.
“You really do look fantastic, Sam,” Aiden said, leading me into the house.
“Thanks, Aiden. Um, look, I really want to be sure you understand I meant it when I said we could only be friends.”
“Sam, when are you going to open up about what this guy’s done to you?” he whispered.
“I’m not. I told you, it’s not up for discussion. It’s a long, complicated story anyway. Besides, we’re at a party. Let’s have some fun.”
“Yeah. Okay,” he murmured.
We made our way through the house to the kitchen where Aiden grabbed us each a beer. They were playing beer pong in the dining room, but we passed through to the back so we could go outside. There were people dancing in the grass and lying on lounge chairs by the pool.
A couple was in a kissing embrace in the pool. The DJ started a new song when the last one finished, and even more people started dancing. Aiden and I danced our hearts out. After consuming a few more beers, we ended up sitting next to each other in lounges by the pool to catch our breath.
“I think I’m ready to go home, Aiden.”
“Okay, I’ll call a cab to come pick us up.”
It was a fun night, but I was exhausted and ready for an eight-hour nap. Good thing it was night and well past my bedtime. I remember thinking that, for once I would just pass-out and not have to cry myself to sleep like every other night. Maybe there was something to Emmett and his turn to whiskey after all. I’d file that away for evaluation on another day.
We took a cab to my apartment building first. When the cab stopped in the no-parking zone, Aiden got out and opened my door for me. I held onto his hand as I climbed out and felt those now familiar tingles spread up my wrist and arm. I think Aiden felt it, too. He startled before giving my hand a light squeeze as I stood to my feet.
We got to my door and stood there a minute while I reached into my jeans pocket, pulling my lip gloss and compact out to get to my key.
“Here it is,” I said, giggling as I held my key up in the air.
“Good thing. For a moment there I thought I was gonna have to take you home with me,” Aiden taunted.
I glanced up at him. He was staring at me intensely.
No, please don’t do this. Don’t ruin our friendship.
I broke the moment by turning back toward my front door. The heel of my boot caught on the uneven pavement where the step began and I dropped my stuff and key and stumbled toward the ground. Aiden caught me at the last second before I hit the pavement.
“You know, we really have to work on your walking skills. It’s a good thing my arms are always around to save you,” he teased.
“Sorry. It’s that damn step. I’m going to have to call maintenance and report it. Maybe they can level it out somehow.”
As he stood me up straight, my face was an inch from his. My nerves were shot, and I couldn’t move. I continued to stare at him as he stared back. Our lips were so close, I could smell the orange Tic Tacs on his breath. He leaned into me, and our lips touched as our breathing sped up. Closing his mouth over mine, his hand wove into the back of my hair, and I reveled in the feel of affection . . . until I began to panic. I pulled away and stepped back. With my hands fidgeting, I hurried to unlock my door then stepped inside.
“I’m . . . I’m sorry, Aiden. That shouldn’t have happened,” I blurted.
“I’m not sorry,” he said as he licked his lips and backed away, still staring at me.
I watched as he turned around and walked over to where the cab was parked, its engine still running. He got in and the car drove away. I backed up slowly, closed and locked the door, leaning back against it as I sank down to the floor. Gage came over and lay down at my side. I closed my eyes and wondered how the hell I was going to save our friendship after that.
It had been over a month since I left Sam. I felt incomplete. But I’d also stopped having dreams of Alec. I only dreamed of Sam. When I woke up, I was no longer gasping for air at Alec being out of reach. Instead, I was reaching across the bed for Sam . . . only to find an empty space.
The morning I realized I wasn’t dreaming about her, but rather remembering her, felt like a punch to my gut. Then it all hit me.
Oh God, what had I done? I was in a panic about the time I’d spent away from her.
“Fuck!” I slammed my toothbrush down on the bathroom vanity. “What if she moved on without me? Got tired of hurting and decided to push the pain away with some other guy? What if she no longer loved me?” I rambled aloud to myself.
I hoped I wasn’t too late.
I’d seen her in passing one day after class at Auburn on my way to the cafeteria. I decided to wait in that spot and ask if I could see her again. I was afraid to go to the apartment. I didn’t know what I would do if she had some other guy there.
I sat on the ground beneath a big weeping willow where I had a view of the walkway. I put my ear buds in and opened the iTunes app on my phone. I was listening to “Run” by Snow Patrol when I saw her. She was laughing and walking with a guy. Fuck me. My worst fear had come true. She’d moved on. Well, fuck that. She was mine, and I wasn’t about to let some pansy ass, college pretty boy, asshat take my Peach.
As she walked closer, her beautiful smile widened as she laughed with him. Then she looked up and caught me staring at her. The coffee mug in her hand slipped from her grip, hitting the ground and shattering into pieces on the walkway beneath her. She never even looked down at it.
Her gaze remained locked on me. Good. Her cute little ass was mine, and I’d be damned if anyone else was going to have her, the too-close-to-her asshat especially. I tried to convey in my expression, my exclusive ownership of her heart, and as she wasn’t able to break her gaze away, I think I succeeded.
I stood up and brushed my jeans off. I di
dn’t have any books with me, just my phone, wallet, and the keys in my pocket. I walked over to her. She stood frozen in place. The asshat was talking to her, but she wasn’t answering him. I could tell he was getting frustrated. Good. Fucker was clearly trying to take my Peach.
I stopped in front of her, as said asshat stood and pursed his lips, his eyebrows scrunching together, looking back and forth between Peach and me like he was watching a tennis match. I would have knocked him on his ass if he even said the wrong thing. He didn’t know what he was encroaching upon.
“Hey, Peach,” I said with a forced smile.
“Emmett,” she whispered. It was one word. Just my name, but it held the weight of everything I’d dreamed about her over the past month.
“You . . . you’ve remembered. Haven’t you?” she tentatively asked.
I knew she was afraid of the answer, so I relieved her anxiety immediately.
“I remember everything.”
Tears welled in her eyes, so I gestured to the asshat.
“Why don’t you take a walk, kid? My girlfriend and I have some things to discuss.”
He stared at her, his eyes widening with shock when I referred to her as my girlfriend. Good. Fuck him. Move along asshat.
“It’s okay, Aiden. I’ll . . . see you in class on Wednesday,” she murmured.
“Okay, Sam,” the asshat said as he turned, and strode off in the opposite direction. I didn’t care where, as long as it was out of my Peach’s life.
I wiped the disgusted look off my face. I knew Sam. She was a loyal friend. I didn’t want to upset her by offending the asshat any more than I already had. I had enough to fix as it was.
“Peach, do you have any more classes, or can we go somewhere to talk?”
“No, I’m done for the day. I have a heavier schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays aren’t bad. I’m done before lunch,” she rambled like her mind was on autopilot.
“Great. Do you want to go grab lunch somewhere?”
“No. I’d rather we just go home. I need to let Gage out anyway.”
“Okay, let’s go. Did you drive? I can meet you there.”
She stood there, stunned, with her lips slightly parted. Her eyes had yet to stray away from mine. It was like she couldn’t believe I was real.
“Yeah, my car’s in the parking lot. I’ll, uh, see you soon,” she replied, walking backward like she was afraid to look away from me.
I wanted to sweep her into my arms and kiss her right then and there, but I refrained. There would be time for that later. There would be a lifetime of that. I knew this because, when I told her I remembered everything, I meant it. I remembered how truly and deeply we loved each other. I remembered the engagement ring I’d had made for her, too.
When I pulled in behind her at our apartment building, I parked in my old spot. I opened her car door after she pulled in and shifted her car into park.
“Hey Peach.”
She smiled up at me as she stepped out. “Hi.”
We walked into the apartment, and she set her bag of books and purse down. I dropped my keys on the counter in the same spot I’d tossed them countless times before. She looked from my keys on the counter, to me and back at my keys again, with a small smile on her face.
“You do remember,” she breathed.
“Yes, Peach,” I said, walking slowly toward her. “I do.”
I knew I was probably looking at her like I wanted to devour her, because that’s exactly what I wanted to do. My body hungered for hers. At that moment, I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to touch, kiss, and feel. I wanted to make love to her.
I pulled her to me and tilted her mouth up to mine, taking possession and sending her all of the passion I felt and held inside me all this time without even knowing it. She wrapped her arms around me and ran her fingers up and down my back. I swooped her up into my arms and kissed her heatedly as I carried her to our bedroom. When I placed her on our bed, I knelt down above her and ran my fingers through her hair.
“I love you, Peach,” I whispered.
“I love you too, Emmett,” she said, taking my mouth with hers again.
We lost ourselves to our passion as it overtook us. She consumed every part of me, until I wasn’t sure where I stopped and she began.
I woke up and stretched my arm out to the side and felt Sam there, with me, sleeping. I smiled so big, that it almost hurt my cheeks. Finally, we were together again, and I had my memory back. I thought about Alec. I thought about what I had gone through while my memory was gone. At least I had peace about it again. I would always miss him, but I could make it through my days without all the anger I’d felt, and without hitting the whiskey at night to get some semblance of sleep.
I rolled over to my side and watched Sam sleeping. God, I’d missed this without even realizing what it was, but now I knew. This was the emptiness I felt each morning. I felt like I’d come home. I had to make sure she knew what she meant to me. I would spend forever making her happy, so she could forget what we’d been through. In that happiness, I knew I would find happiness too, and hopefully could forget the feelings of pain and loss. I wished peace for both of us.
I ran my fingers through her hair and gently down the side of her face. Her eyes began to flutter awake, and she turned her head toward me. Her lips turned up into a beautiful smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi Peach,” I replied. “Did you sleep well?”
She stretched her arms up. “Yeah, I slept better than I have in a long time.”
“Me, too.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Let’s get some coffee, my little caffeine junkie.”
She smiled and nodded. “Sounds good.”
She sat up and the covers fell from her chest. I thought briefly about pulling her back down and postponing the coffee, but decided there would be time for that later. I wanted to get my things from the hotel and move back home where I belonged. Plus, Gage was now sitting at the foot of the bed, whimpering to go outside.
I nodded toward the dog. “I’ll take him out while you get the coffee going.”
“Deal,” she replied.
I put Gage’s harness on. She’d bought a new red one, and I could see why; it was a good color on him. Hooking his leash to the harness, I slipped on my shoes and unlocked the front door. We walked outside, and Gage did his business. I decided to take him for a short walk around the apartment complex. When we returned and walked through the front door, I saw her texting on her phone. She set her phone down on the counter and looked up at me. I cocked an eyebrow in question.
“The girls. I couldn’t wait to tell them you remembered and came home. They’re going to tell the guys.” She smiled.
“Cool.”
She walked over and hugged me hard. “I just needed to feel you again, to know you’re real and actually here, and not some cruel figment of my imagination. It feels good having you home again.”
“Yeah, it feels good to me, too. I love you, Peach. I just can’t say it enough. I’m so sorry for what I put you through.”
“Don’t say that, Emmett. You didn’t put me through anything. We were both victims of a cruel twist of fate that took your memory from you. I was constantly thinking about you mourning Alec alone, and it made me sick to my stomach. I was so worried about you.”
“Oh God, that was hard. But when I left you, I stopped dreaming of Alec, and started dreaming of you. The moment I remembered you was one of the best and worst of my life. I was afraid I was too late, afraid that you’d moved on. Then, when I was waiting for you at school yesterday, I saw you with that . . . guy. I felt my worst fears had come true,” I told her.
“Oh, Aiden? No need to worry. He’s just a friend. I told him right away I wasn’t interested in anything more. He’s actually pretty cool. I think you’d like him. He’s very funny.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear. No way I could handle someone trying to steal you away from me. Especi
ally right now.”
She walked over to the Keurig and made herself a cup of coffee. Her smile as she tasted her first sip was beautiful. Content. Happy. It made me feel good.
“Hey Peach, I have an errand to run, and I want to pick up my stuff from the hotel. Do you want to meet back here after class this afternoon? I only have one class this morning,” I said.
“Yeah. Sounds good.”
I dressed in a pair of jeans I’d left behind. It was a good thing I only took one suitcase of clothes when I left, or I’d be wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Pulling a t-shirt over my head, I walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I ran a comb through my hair, Sam liked it messy, and that was fine by me; less time in the bathroom.
I walked out of our bedroom and saw her flipping through the newspaper ads. She looked up at me and gave me a small wave. Something was off about it though.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’m just worried. I mean, the last time you went to run errands, you ended up in the hospital and had forgotten me completely. What if something else happens? I can’t go through that again.” She ended on a sob.
“Nothing will happen, Peach. And if, for some crazy reason, it did, we’d overcome it. We always do. Please don’t worry.”
“That’s easier said than done, Emmett.”
I sighed. “I know, but it’s not like I can stay here forever. I still have to live life.”
She stood up and wrapped her arms around my waist, hugging me to her. “Well, I can think of things we can do to pass the time while you stay here forever.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
I leaned my head down and captured her lips with mine. Smacking her on her cute little behind, I stepped back toward the front door. “I gotta go. I’ll be back soon.”
“I love you. Be safe,” she called.
“I will. Love you, too, Peach.”
I got in my rental and drove to the hotel. As I packed up my things, I threw the empty and half-full whiskey bottles in the trash. I couldn’t imagine what the housekeepers must think of me always throwing away empty whiskey bottles. Whatever . . . that was done.
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