“Are you sure?” I asked, my eyes already closed.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “It’ll be ready by the time you’re awake. It’ll be good for me to get up and move.”
That was the last thing I heard before I finally gave in and let sleep take over.
19
The next morning, I got to first period early, hoping to catch Mrs. Collins so I could apologize for letting the squad down.
Her classroom was completely empty, but I knocked a couple of times anyway before walking in.
She looked up from her desk, and I gave her a tight-lipped smile, not sure how upset she was going to be or what kind of punishment she’d dish out.
“Scarlett,” she said, her face blank. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I replied, walking over to her. Eyes down, I began. “I just wanted to come in and say sorry about the pep rally yesterday. I know I messed up the whole thing and after all of our hard work…”
Rachel had texted me last night, asking if I was okay. And then I had asked her about what had gone down after I’d run away.
Two words.
Not good.
The rest of the routine had pretty much fallen apart after I’d left, and it was all my fault.
Mrs. Collins sighed. “Thank you for coming in and saying that. I know it can’t be easy.” She stood up and came around her desk. “The truth is Rachel told me what was going on yesterday.”
Oh.
I had been wondering if I was gonna have to tell her why I’d gotten so upset and freaked out.
Mrs. Collins gave me a sympathetic look. “I don’t blame you, Scarlett. Not at all. I can’t imagine what you were going through yesterday.”
“Thank you,” I managed. I’d decided that morning that I’d cried enough yesterday and there would be no more tears today, but this conversation was threatening to ruin that.
She touched my shoulder. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better today,” she said with a smile. “Besides, there will always be another pep rally, another competition, another opportunity to do better. No one’s perfect all the time.”
I smiled. “You make a good point.”
“Also,” she went on.” I want you to know that you can come to me for anything, tell me anything. Okay?”
I nodded, relief flooding my system. “That means a lot.”
Several students began filing in so I took my seat.
That had gone a lot better than I’d expected.
I felt better too.
Yesterday had been pretty sucky. A nap, a good meal, a fun movie, and ten hours of sleep had worked wonders.
And that legendary hug from Ben hadn’t been too shabby either. I’d even dreamed about it, not that I would ever admit that out loud.
Nope, the knowledge of that hug would remain for me and me only.
I couldn’t wait to see Ben again.
The boys had another game tonight, which meant watching him play and then hanging out after.
It made me nervous to think about how I was supposed to act around him. We were friends, but we’d shared some personal things. We’d spent time together working on that paper.
And did I mention the hug he’d given me?
Was I crazy to think that maybe he liked me?
It was so hard to tell with Ben.
I hadn’t seen him act like that with any other girl since I’d arrived at Jefferson, and neither had Rachel. He hardly looked at a girl, much less made physical contact.
But then again, he didn’t date.
So I didn’t want to get my hopes up or misinterpret things.
I wasn’t sure I could take any heartbreak.
Then again, what if he had changed his mind?
A girl could dream, right?
It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility…
I wanted to find out. If things kept going the way they were going…
I decided to start by at least thanking him for everything he’d done for me yesterday.
Maybe that would give me a good feel for where we stood.
The thought of going up to Ben later and possibly getting friend zoned had me more scared than getting thrown up into the air.
But what if Ben was willing to break his own no-dating rule?
I had to find out.
20
After a tough loss, most of the cheer squad and football team headed to Bobby’s.
That was the thing about the food there. Burgers and fries made victory all the more sweet.
But there also wasn’t a lot that a good milkshake couldn’t fix.
I spotted a couple of empty seats next to Ben and Aaron, shooting a glance at Rachel.
She led me over there.
Aaron saw us coming and moved down a couple of seats so Rachel and I could sit in between him and Ben.
I smiled at Ben as I sat down, and he did the same.
“Hey,” I said. “Good game tonight.”
“Thanks,” he replied. “Wasn’t our best, but…”
“You did your best, though,” I said, shivering a little. “And that’s what matters.”
“Glad you think so,” he replied. “Coach didn’t, so we have extra practices this weekend.”
“Yeah,” Aaron chimed in. “At six o’clock in the morning.”
Ben shut his eyes like he already wasn’t looking forward to being up that early. He seemed tired.
A lot of the time, he sported dark circles under his eyes, and tonight was no exception.
He looked a little bit like a deflated balloon.
I tried to say something to perk him up, wishing I could help him feel better the way he’d done for me the day before. “Maybe you can take a nap after practice is over.”
He grinned, but still seemed sleepy. “Sure. If by nap, you mean come and work an eight-hour shift here.”
I grimaced for his sake. “And I thought I had it bad with laundry day tomorrow.”
The waitress came over and took our order. I asked for a large chocolate shake plus a burger and fries.
Ben got the same, minus the shake.
Then we went back to silence.
I opened my mouth, not wanting to think too much before what I was about to say. “Listen, I just wanted to thank you—“
Just then, a couple more football players walked in. Everyone erupted in cheers. They laughed about something.
Ben gave a, “What?” but it was almost impossible to hear him.
Great.
I shook my head. Maybe later.
“Let’s go outside,” Ben tried, nodding toward the exit and standing up.
I followed him, glancing back at Rachel who winked.
There was a bench farther down the shopping center, in front of a store that was closed for the night. Ben led me there and sat down.
I did the same, shivering a little and wishing I’d thought to grab my jacket.
Ben took off his letterman jacket. “Here,” he said, placing it around my shoulders.
“Are you sure?” I asked, not believing I was now wearing his still warm varsity jacket.
“Yeah,” he replied. “I mean, I’d be cold too if I was wearing that cheer uniform.”
I looked down at my skirt and bare legs. The top left my arms bare too. “You make a good point.” Meanwhile, Ben had changed out of his football uniform and into jeans and a nice black shirt along with his jacket.
We kinda laughed and then got quiet.
Right. I had been about to say something.
I did my best to make eye contact instead of staring around awkwardly while I talked. “Anyway, um, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me a ride home yesterday, and…just being a really good friend.”
Why did that sound a lot more dorky coming out of my mouth than I had rehearsed in my head?
It’s like I was missing the totally cool and confident version of me, the one who knew when to flip her hair. Instead, there was only the actual me, who was just trying not to shiver from the
cool breeze or stumble over her words.
Ben met my eyes, his green ones soft again. “It was no problem. I’m glad you’re better today.”
I nodded. “Doing cheer, the friday night games, it helps.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “I like staying busy too.”
“Busy is good,” I said.
Busy is good??
I wanted to take off his jacket and cover my whole head with it.
“You know what?” he asked.
Keep it cool, keep it cool. “What?” I replied.
“So…” He glanced away. “I’m really glad you moved here. And that you joined cheer. And that you almost killed me,” he went on, laughing. “Otherwise, I would be flunking social studies and I’d be off the team and we wouldn’t be hanging out.”
It took me a second to make sure he’d really just said that. My body threatened to just float away.
Say something, say something! “I…I am really glad that I moved here too.”
Was it me, or had he leaned in a little.
One thing was for sure. He hadn’t been sitting this close just a few minutes earlier. Had he?
His face, his mouth, was right there.
If I leaned forward just a little…
The way he looked at me, it was like he was trying to say something with his eyes that he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud.
I knew the feeling.
I waited for him to continue leaning, come closer, and do what I so wanted him to do.
His eyes shifted to hesitation, though, and I wondered if he was about to pull away.
A thought popped into my head.
Did I dare?
“Ben?” I heard myself say. My voice was soft and unsure, but his eyes flashed, the hesitation gone.
My eyes closed on their own as I leaned toward him and let my mouth touch his.
Just like that, I was kissing him.
It was the craziest thing I’d ever done, and I loved it.
After a second, Ben kissed me back too, slowly at first and then…not.
We pulled away. I sat back, my chest rising and falling.
A minute ago, I’d gone in sure of myself, but now I wasn’t sure how I felt.
Nervous, maybe?
Should I have kissed Ben?
What if this wasn’t what he wanted?
I tried to read the expression on his face, but he seemed kind of nervous too.
He didn’t look away from me, though. “I kind of have a confession to make” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling his jacket closer around me.
“You know how you guys get assigned a football player for the season?” he went on, a small smile creeping onto his face.
“Yeah…” I said, trying to guess what he was about to say next.
“Um, I kind of requested you,” he said, kind of embarrassed. He glanced away.
I looked at him, confused. “Rachel told me Coach Collins makes the assignments.”
His eyes met mine. “Yeah, but Rachel also kind of hinted one day that maybe Lily helps. And I kind of asked Lily to…assign you to me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Rachel! I should’ve known.
Ben gave me a sheepish grin, and I smiled back. “You asked Lily to… why would you do that?”
He looked down for a second. “I guess I kinda had a crush on the new girl, and I wanted to get to know you.”
That had me smiling. “Really?”
He nodded. “Little did I know… the new girl would almost kill me.”
I started laughing, and so did he. “I will never hear the end of that, will I?” I demanded.
“Nope,” he replied.
We smiled, and I about pinched myself because this could not be my life.
Ben checked his phone. “We should probably head back? I bet our food is almost ready.”
Oh, yeah. Food.
It was the whole reason we’d even gone to Bobby’s.
We stood up and headed back inside.
Rachel and Aaron were already eating. My chocolate shake was waiting for me. The entire time I had it, I couldn’t help but think that, as delicious as it was, it couldn’t compare to kissing Ben.
21
Ben and I texted back and forth over most of the weekend.
He couldn’t always talk because of football practice and work, but his good morning and good night texts became everything.
Even though he hadn’t actually asked me to be his girlfriend or anything, I liked where things were going.
I liked that we were talking and getting to know each other.
But mostly, I really liked Ben.
He had dreams of college ball, maybe trying for pro, but mostly trying to get a good job so he could help his mom buy a nice house one day. Help his brothers pay for school.
I got the idea that his mom kind of struggled when it came to money, and that’s why Ben worked so many hours at Bobby’s.
When I told Mom a little bit about it, she said, “Wow, single mom of five boys. Just thinking about that makes me exhausted,” she quipped. “Not to mention broke.”
I nodded. She had a point.
We had it pretty good. When Dad had passed away, he had at least left behind some money. Dad had always been good at managing their money and making sure money had been set aside in a savings account. So Mom and I had been okay. Not rich, by any means, but Mom had been able to take a couple of months off and properly mourn. But it was only because Dad had been the type of person who always prepared for everything.
I couldn’t imagine losing Dad and then Mom also struggling to pay bills.
I’d never met Ben’s mom before, but I had a feeling she had to be extraordinary.
And clearly, it was where Ben got it from too.
On Monday morning, Ben walked me to class.
No holding hands or anything like that, but I thought it was great all the same.
One of his brothers came up to us on our way there.
“Hey,” his brother said. He flashed a tight-lipped smile at me. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I replied.
He turned back to Ben, who introduced him. “Scarlett, this is my brother Drake. Drake, Scarlett.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said, giving him a quick wave and holding on to my books.
“Likewise,” he replied quickly, hardly looking at me again. Then he pulled Ben aside.
Unlike Aaron, Drake seemed kind of…withdrawn.
I hated to use the word “mean.” I didn’t really know him.
But he definitely had this bad boy vibe going on. Messy hair, dark clothes, and a brooding demeanor that would make Severus Snape proud.
In fact, he could’ve passed for an attractive teen Snape…
I shook my head and stifled a laugh.
I had to tell Rachel, Audrey, and Nora.
No.
No, no, no.
Drake left, and Ben and I resumed walking to class.
On the way there, another guy waved bye to us.
“That’s Cade,” he said, waving back.
“Cade,” I repeated. “Who’s older? Cade or Drake? Or Aaron?”
Ben counted on his fingers. “Me, Aaron, Cade, Drake, and then there’s Eli. Or as we like to call him: Squirt.”
I grinned. “Just so long as you guys don’t give me a weird nickname.”
“Oh,” he replied. “We already have.” He paused. “Killer cookie girl.”
I laughed. “Oh my gosh.” So that name had stuck.
Thanks a lot, Rachel…
“Kind of has a nice ring to it,” he said, grinning wide.
I shook my head. “I hate you.” But I smiled at him.
We said bye at the door to Mrs. Benson’s room.
I found my seat. Nora was there, just a couple seats away. “You are in so much trouble,” she teased.
Pulling open my binder, I replied, “I’ve never loved being in trouble more than I do now.”
It was like t
hat the rest of the week.
Walking to class together sometimes. Texting. Looking forward to Friday night football games and hanging out together after.
Life was good.
I still missed Dad, and the hole he’d left in our lives still felt large and gaping at times, but overall, I felt happy. Mom seemed happy. Busy but happy. Apparently, there was some guy at the office who had asked her to dinner, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
We talked about it one night. I had been about to go to bed, but then she’d come home. I’d barely seen her the entire week so I joined her in the kitchen while she grabbed a bite to eat.
“How do you feel about this guy?” I asked. She hadn’t really dated more than once or twice since Dad had died.
She sighed. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I might like him, like I want to give it a try, and sometimes, I think… he’s not your dad.”
This intense sadness swept over her face when she said that.
I stood up and gave her a hug. “I think when the right person comes along, you’ll know. Just make sure you don’t close off your heart forever.”
She smiled up at me. “How did I get such a wise teenager? And one who hasn’t screamed ‘I hate you’ at me even once?”
I giggled. “No idea.”
She went back to eating. “Goodness knows I yelled that every other week at my mom growing up…” she muttered. “Then again, I’m not your grandma.”
“You’re right about that,” I said, grabbing a snack from the fridge.
Grandma could be a little…intense. Even if she did have good intentions.
Good thing she had Grandpa to balance her out.
I turned back to Mom, opening up my Greek yogurt. “So when do you think you’ll come to one of the games?”
She grimaced, putting down her fork. “Oh, honey, I am so sorry. This project has gone on longer than I anticipated. But I will make it to one of them. Promise.” She paused. “When does the season end?”
I grabbed a spoon. “Soon. Maybe a month.”
She nodded. “Got it. If not the next one, then…definitely the next one.”
But the way she didn’t quite make eye contact when she said it, I wasn’t so sure she actually could. I didn’t press the issue, though.
I could tell this project and possible promotion at work was important to her, and she deserved to be happy.
Falling for Ben & Other Impossible Things (Garcia Brothers Book 1) Page 10
