by Matt Shaw
He looked at me, an eyebrow raised.
36 Years Earlier:
Friends
Tom was sitting on the medical room’s bed. His clothes were on the side where the man - a man who called himself David - had put them. David was standing in front of Tom. The stethoscope around his neck once more as he played at being Doctor. He was talking to Tom but his eyes weren’t fixed upon his innocent face. They were locked somewhere else entirely.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?” David said.
Tom didn’t answer him. He didn’t know how to answer him. All he knew of the man was his name and even that didn’t coincide with the name on the badge he wore on his uniform shirt. Tom had told himself it must have been a surname and that David was his first name. There was no reason to lie about a name. A theory backed up by the fact he had heard other members of staff call the man by the name of David - or Dave - too.
“Are we not friends?” David pushed as he waited for an answer. “I thought we were. I mean, I look out for you. I stop you from getting sick and I sneak you in candy and comic books, don’t I?”
“I guess.”
“The other staff members don’t do that for you, do they?”
Tom shook his head.
“No. Exactly. And do you know why I do it for you?”
Tom shook his head again.
“Because we’re friends. Friends look out for each other, right?”
“I guess.”
“Did you get the sweets I left for you yesterday? I hid them in your pillowcase. You did find them, right?”
Tom nodded.
“And you knew they were from me?”
Another nod.
“Normally when someone gives you a gift it is considered polite to say something to them.”
“Thank you.”
“It doesn’t work when you have to be reminded to say it. You should say it off your own back. Just something for you to think about the next time. Unless of course you say we aren’t friends in which case I won’t bring anymore treats for you. I could give them to someone else. Lots of boys would like them.”
He paused a moment and turned his gaze towards Tom’s face. Tom wasn’t looking at Dave. He was staring to the floor now, almost embarrassed at being told off and questioned about his friendship with a relative stranger.
“So what do you say?” Dave pushed him, “Are we going to be friends now or would you rather I was friends with someone else?”
Tom thought for a moment. He hadn’t been in the home for more than a week and he already hated it there. The near nightly health checks he was being subjected to, the lack of a decent night’s sleep, and the fact he hadn’t made any proper friends with the children his age did nothing to enhance his feelings towards the establishment. He’d lie there - at night - waiting for his visitor, wishing someone would come along and pull him from the Hell. His little mind occasionally taking him to the cousin he’d been told of, living in the country in a nice home with a nice family.
“Okay well, you can get your clothes. You look healthy enough to me,” Dave said. He took a step away from Tom.
Tom piped up, “We are friends.”
“We are? That’s swell. Thank you. That means the world to me. Thank you. Really. I appreciate it. I’ll tell you what - tomorrow I’ll sneak you something really special in. I’ll leave it in the pillowcase again, okay?”
Tom nodded.
“And in return maybe there’s something you could do for me?”
“What?” Tom asked.
“Would you like to do me a favour?” Dave asked.
“Okay.”
David smiled, “That’s great. See - I knew we could be best of friends. Come on - let’s get this started… Stand up.”
David helped Tom up from the bed and once again put his hand against his testicles. He asked him to cough and the little boy obliged. David smiled. Tom knew the drill by now and turned around before he was asked to do so. David moved closer to him, bending down in the process. Tom felt his breath against his ear as David once again slid a finger into Tom’s rear. Tom winced in pain and tried to pull himself free but David merely pinned him against the bed and pushed his finger harder.
“That’s good,” he sighed in Tom’s ear. “We’re almost done.”
He reached around and started to stroke Tom, just as he had done on the previous nights. Tom closed his eyes and waited for it to all be finished.
“You’re a good boy,” David whispered in Tom’s ear. “You’re a good boy. You’re my favourite, did you know that?”
Tom didn’t answer; in his mind he’d taken himself to another place entirely.
“Am I your favourite?” David asked as he started to slowly wiggle his index finger around - all the time continually stroking the boy with his other hand. “Am I?” he asked again when Tom failed to answer.
Tom answered ‘yes’ to keep him happy. He hated the man; he scared him. David smiled a lot when he was with Tom but never once did Tom feel at ease despite the supposedly friendly expression on David’s face.
“That’s nice to hear,” said David.
David pulled his finger from Tom’s rear. Tom didn’t relax as the man’s other hand was still on him. He heard the noise of a zipper being opened and then felt something else nudge against his rectum; something hard and definitely bigger.
“Are you ready?” David asked. “Be brave. We’re almost finished.”
David thrust forward without a care for the boy’s wellbeing. Tom screamed out. David released the boy’s penis long enough to reach for the pillow resting at the head of the bed. He put it in front of the boy’s face and told him to bite down upon it, promising that - if he did so - it would help. Tom bit into the pillow so hard he thought his teeth were going to rip right through it. David placed his hand back on the boy’s genitals as he started thrusting back and forwards with his hips. His heavy sighs became more frequent in the whimpering boy’s ear until he let out a long gasp as he ejaculated deep within the boy.
David pulled out and wiped himself clean with a tissue pulled from a box on the side. He scrunched the dirtied paper towel into a ball and tossed it into a medical waste bin.
“You can put your clothes on now,” he told Tom.
Tom didn’t move immediately. David walked across the room, tucking himself away and doing his zip up, and collected Tom’s clothes. He handed them over to the trembling boy.
“It’s important you don’t tell anyone about this,” David said. “We’re friends but if you tell someone we can’t be friends anymore. And you wouldn’t want that, would you?” Tom didn’t answer him so he continued, “It would mean no more treats, the other boys would get jealous and wouldn’t want to talk to you and - at night when I am on shift - you wouldn’t be allowed to stay here with me. You’d have to be put into one of the quiet rooms on the D-Wing.”
Tom had been told of what was known as the quiet rooms when he first came into the home. Apparently - according to the other boys - they were small empty rooms with padded walls and padded floors. If you were naughty - or too loud - you’d be transported to these rooms and left there for varying times. According to some of the older boys - the ones who’d been there for many years - some children had died in them and, apparently, their ghosts will wandered the halls down there. Tom never wanted to see those rooms.
“Our secret?” David wanted to hear it from his mouth.
Tom nodded as he took his clothes; a tear rolling down his cheek as he did so.
Present Day:
Friends Part II
He was looking at me with a puzzled expression. I didn’t see what was so hard to understand about what I had said.
I tried to make it clearer, “I like you. I thought we’d be good friends. I mean if it makes it easier you don’t have to call me Father. If that makes you feel uncomfortable. I can understand that what with being similar in age. And I also understand some of the decisions I have to make may make you feel a little uncomfor
table too. What if I gave you the opportunity to help me run the house?”
Looking at him, I didn’t want to lose him from the family and nor did I wish to find myself challenge by him at a later date - not that I wouldn’t have been able to put him in his place should the need have arisen. But offering him some say in how the house runs, maybe that would be enough to keep him from being dissatisfied.
I continued, “I could even get you out of that shared bedroom.”
“You could?”
“Would you want me to?” I asked him.
“Well it does feel a little strange sharing a room. Actually it’s not even the sharing of rooms which is strange. I suppose it’s more to do with the bunk beds. Feel I’m a little old for those now.” He quickly added, “Not that I’m ungrateful for what I have been provided with, you understand. Just - when you get to my age - you kind of hope you’ve at least made it to the point in life where you get your own large bed.”
I nodded. I understood exactly what he was saying. I used to live in a small apartment with my lover. We were always struggling for money. It was only when I started bringing more people home that things started to pick up for me. I would find people living on the streets and offer them a home. Most of them didn’t have jobs because they didn’t have a fixed address. Well, by giving them an address at least, I knew it wouldn’t be long before they would manage to get a small job - even if it were flipping burgers in some fast food restaurant. I lost money moving them in and giving them a new outfit each but I knew - if I didn’t change things - my lover and I would never have had the lifestyle we felt we believed. Soon enough we went from scraping by with money to having cash left in our pockets at the end of the month; taking rental fees off of the people I moved in. Word got around to what I was offering and more and more people were coming by the small apartment. That was when I decided each and every person who wanted to move in needed to prove themselves.
James broke me from my thoughts, “Where would I sleep?” he asked.
“You could sleep in here, with me.” I told him.
He looked around the room, “What? We could put a second bed over there?” he pointed to a clear space in the bedroom.
I shook my head and leaned close to him, “Not what I was thinking.” I leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. He flinched away.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Have you not been hearing me? I like you. I chose you to come and live with us because I like you. We are one and the same, you and me…”
“We’re not.”
I ignored him, “And that’s why I brought you in. I’m telling you we could rule this house together. We could both be fathers to our sons and daughters. We could both lead our family forward. Each of us in power. Think about it - our family would be stronger with two heads. It would be better for all concerned.”
“I think you have the wrong idea about me.”
He stood up and walked towards the door.
I called out, “You think I let the others choose who they got to kill? No. I only let you choose who died on your initiation night. I wanted to know if you had it in you to choose who to kill and - then - to kill them yourself. You did. You picked out someone to die. You killed them. You and I are the same.”
He hesitated by the door. For a moment I thought he’d believed what I said - not that there was anything to disbelieve. We were one and the same. “I’m sorry but I think I’ve made a mistake. I thought what was being offered here was different to what I’ve seen. This… This isn’t right… Some kind of cult.”
“You knew what it was when you bashed that man’s head in with the hammer. You knew exactly what it was. Don’t pretend to think you didn’t.”
“Well I thought it was for me but it wasn’t.”
He edged closer to the door. I ran up behind him and grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him on the spot so that he faced me.
“What, you think you can just leave? You think you can stop over for a couple of nights and then decide it isn’t working out? No one leaves the family. We do not abandon our sons and daughters.”
“I’ve heard some of the stories these people have. They’re all psychopaths. Desperate people who’d do anything to look out for themselves. They’re willing to take a fucking life just to try and get ahead with their own. How long before they turn on you, or themselves? This is a ticking time-bomb. What happened to Fred proves that.”
“What happened to Fred was a necessity to save the family and if you leave this room…”
“What? You’ll kill me?”
“Just stay with me. We can lead together.”
I edged closer to him and he shoved me back. I lunged forward and grabbed him. The two of us fell against the wall, me on top pinning him there. I leaned in and kissed him again. He fought me off and shoved me back.
“Don’t do this,” I warned him. “And don’t pretend you’re not like the other people living here. You killed someone too. You’re a murderer.”
“I knew the man I killed and I knew why I did it!” he shouted at me. “The part of the story you don’t know about me… What I told you about my uncle beating my aunty to death, what I told you about my real mother not wanting me… Even selling me for alcohol… That was all true but I didn’t tell you about the care home I was sent to. I didn’t tell you about the nightly visits from one of the workers there. A man named David. David Markson. Every night he raped me. Fucking poof, just like you are, forcing himself upon me. Back then I was too young and too scared to do anything about it but not now. I grew up, I found out where he lived… Then I met you and some of your family members. I took the opportunity to kill Markson. I took the opportunity to wipe that low-life piece of shit from the face of the planet…”
“And the woman who lived with him. Let us not forget her. The innocent woman and her unborn child…”
“Who you killed! I had nothing to do with that. I killed a man who deserved to die. Who are the people you kill? Strangers? Do you know them at all? Do they deserve what you do to them? I somehow doubt it. I made a mistake coming here. I made a mistake getting involved with you. I’m not a part of this family.”
He turned back towards the door and reached for the bolt. I screamed at him that he wasn’t leaving me and dashed forward, grabbing him by the shoulders again and yanking him away from the door with my full force. We both crashed to the floor in a heap. I got up first and climbed on top of him, once again pinning him to the spot. He struggled underneath me but failed to shift me. His arms pinned to the side of his head by my knees. My crotch in his face.
“You don’t have to do this!” I told him. “We can be together, ruling this house. If you’re worried about the people living here, we can work with them. We can fix them. We can make everyone okay and we can…”
“Get the fuck off me!” he screamed.
“You wanted to be someone else. I’m giving you the chance to do so. I’m giving you the chance to be James. The name you picked when I awarded you with it…”
He continued to struggle under my weight, “You want to know who James was? James was my cousin. I never met him. I was only ever told about him once; my cousin who lived in the country with a nice loving family. I chose the name because that’s what I wanted for myself; a house in the country with a nice loving family.”
“And you can have that with us!” I tried telling him.
“Get off me!” he spat.
“Why won’t you love me?!” I yelled at him.
36 Years Earlier:
Friends Part III
Tom didn’t bother trying to get to sleep before David came for him. Sometimes he’d drift off by accident but most of the time he’d sit up, waiting. He never argued with what was asked of him. He simply accepted his fate, always fearful of what would happen if he denied his friend’s wants.
David had come for him again just as he had on previous nights. He’d taken him through to the medical room and locked the door just as he alw
ays had. Tom had walked over to the bed and started to take his clothes off but - tonight - he was told to leave them on. He looked at David in the hope he was being released from his nightly visits but he could tell by the man’s expression he had something else on his mind.
He walked across the room towards Tom.
“We’re going to try something new today,” he said. “You know when you lick a lollipop?”
Tom nodded.
“It’s the same thing. You don’t use your teeth. You just use your tongue.”
“I want to go back to my bed,” Tom said. He started to cry.
“And you will when we’re done.”
David started to pull at the zipper on the front of his trousers. He pulled his stiffening member out - inches away from Tom’s face.
“Put it in your mouth. Remember, like a lollipop.”
“I don’t want to,” Tom wept.
“You said we were friends. You don’t want to help your friend out?”
Tom shook his head.
“Well - okay - that’s fine. Let’s get you back to your room… Well, not your room, there’s a problem with your bed. We’re going to need to put you in the quiet room tonight…” he took Tom’s hand and pulled him towards the door. Tom dug his heels in and screamed not to go. “I’m sorry but we don’t have a choice. We need to get your bed fixed. It won’t take long - I mean, by the time we were done in here, it might have been finished and you could have gone back to it but if you’re not willing to help a friend out… You’ll have to go to the quiet room whilst I go and help with your bed.”
“I’ll do it!” Tom screamed.
“You will?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
Tom nodded, tears streaming down his face. David released his grip of the boy’s hand and nodded him back across to the bed. Tom did as he was told as David freed himself from the confines of his trousers once more. His cock was hard now in anticipation of the boy’s tight mouth being wrapped around it.
