by Angel Lawson
I had just enough beer at the party to get spacey, so I jump when I hear a knock on the door. My mother’s story and the encounter with Mason feels fresh enough for me to peek out the window before even considering opening the door. All I can see is a shadow in the decorative lights strung around the canopy. No way I’m opening the door. I’m searching for a weapon when I hear, “Summer, open up, it’s me.”
I freeze on the bed; well, everything except my heart. It’s pounding like a drum.
Justin knocks again and calls my name.
“Hold on,” I tell him, momentarily pacing around the trailer trying to calm my nerves. Ultimately, when I open the door, I’m more pissed from being scared to death than anything else. “What the hell, Justin? You scared the shit out of me.”
“Can I come in?”
“Haven’t we done this already?” I jerk my thumb toward the bathroom. “I don’t think we’ll both fit in there.”
I can tell he’s about to argue when I hear laughter from the boardwalk. Lucky for him, I don’t want anyone to see him hanging around outside. Not with the way these people gossip. “Get in here.”
He squeezes through the door, too big for the space. Too big to avoid. When we’re both inside I ask, “It’s been a long day, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know.”
“You already said that once tonight. Try something new.” There’s only one small lamp on in the camper and it’s hard to make out his expression.
“I don’t, Summer. I don’t know what to do.” He grimaces. “I promised myself I’d never do this—get involved with someone who broke the rules. My rules about violence and cheating. That’s the reason I agreed to the Pact with the guys in the first place.”
“Are you really here to remind me of all the horrible things I’ve done? If so, I’m not really into that. I’d rather go back to bed than hear about why I ruined our relationship. Again.”
“Just,” he starts, resting his hands on both my shoulders, “listen. I need you to listen to me. You broke my cardinal rule, but you’re everything I ever wanted, right here, dropped in my small-ass town like a miracle. But…”
“I’m not perfect.”
He looks at the floor. “No one is…”
“I know that, but do you? Do you understand people make mistakes? That we do stupid things? That we deserve second chances? Because if you don’t, it doesn’t matter. You’ll never find that person.” I stare at him hard so he understands my words. “I cannot be that person. I’m flawed. The other guys seem to get it. They accept that and are ready to grow up and move on to riskier things, like a real relationship. But you and I both know it won’t work unless you’re in, too.”
“I’m scared, Summer.”
“Yeah, and I am, too,” I tell him. I reach out to touch his cheek. “But you don’t have to be afraid of me.”
He presses his face into my palm. “What if I’m the one that hurts you?”
The truth in his words cut deep and to the core of the problem. He’s not only worried about being cheated on, but being the cheater. He’s never been in a real relationship. The Pact kept them from exploring that side of things. I stroke his cheek with my thumb. “I think we have to trust that we’ll take care of one another.”
“My dad was as bad as my mom. They destroyed one another.”
“It sounds like they had a lot of problems,” I say. “But look at Mom and Richard. They’ve been through the hurt and pain and have come out the other side. I think they both regret the time they wasted. I don’t want a lifetime of regrets. I have too many already.”
He nods. This serious side of Justin is new. Heartbreaking. But something I said must have resonated, because the air around him shifts.
“I want this,” he says, quietly. “I want you.”
“I do, too.”
“Seeing that bastard hurt you and watching you walk away was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. When I was a kid I couldn’t control it, but this? I have a choice, and I choose you.”
His eyes hold mine and when he leans down and kisses me, I’m ready. We’ve laid everything bare, and I’m willing to take the consequences. It may be my only chance. His lips move to my neck, hot and eager, and I slide my hands around his back, touching the soft skin above his waist.
In the shadowy room, I fumble with the buttons on Justin’s shirt while he makes quick work of my tank and pushes my shorts to the ground. He’s fast, like most men, his desire dictating his speed. But I’m nervous and exposed, tripping over the shorts—bumping into the table.
“Ouch, crap,” I laugh, rubbing my hip. Justin steadies me—his hands warm against my body.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Very,” I promise. I kiss him again, tugging at his waistband. He hardly notices, too intent on exploring every inch of my body.
“Bed,” I demand, fumbling backwards. I reach back for the mattress and land with a soft thud. I want to feel him on top of me. Under me. “Inside,” I breathe out the instant he climbs on the bed. I can see his face better here, the light filtering through the tiny, odd-shaped window over my bed.
We’ve been tiptoeing around this moment all afternoon, ever since he walked into my shower and soaped up his body. A shiver runs down my spine as his fingers stroke my skin.
“Thank you for coming back,” he mumbles, pushing the sweat-slicked hair off my forehead. “Thank you for forgiving me.”
I nuzzle my face in his neck and kiss my way across his throat to the hollow of his collarbone. “Ocean Beach seems to be the place for second chances. I think we deserve one, too.”
He smiles, pressing his hips into mine. The weight shoots through me and my legs drop to the side, allowing his hard length to settle against me.
I smile back, feeling him and this moment, because everything about it feels right. He feels right. We feel right. This crazy trailer with the lapping waves of the waterway feels right.
“Are you ready?” he asks, as if there’s any doubt. I nod and when he eases into my body, fulfilling my want and need for him to be inside, a sudden realization comes over me. Not just the euphoria or relief from the mounting lust. I’d promised myself I’d repair the damage I’d done back at school and rebuild my life in this tiny camper by the sea. I promised I would leave a different person when I left than when I arrived.
I brush the hair out of his eyes, feeling the roll of his hips against the pops and crackle of fireworks down the beach. Our relationship is cemented, our commitment understood.
Bobby had told me weeks ago that I’d never want to leave this place.
I had no idea then how right he would be.
Chapter 22
Justin places a finger on my lips and says, “Shhh.” He fights his own laugh as we duck past a guy unloading fishing gear from his truck. We walk in the opposite direction, away from the fishing piers, but it doesn’t matter. The beach is silent other than the crashing waves. I suspect everyone is recovering from the long day and night of celebrations.
It’s barely six and the sky has just started to lighten to a hazy gray. I follow Justin over the dunes to the water, holding his hand as he leads the way. Once we hit the hard-packed sand, we drop our towels and strip off our clothes, down to our bathing suits. Out in the water, I spot three surfers bobbing on the water.
“You can do this,” he says. My feet sink into the cool, soft sand bordering the ocean.
I’m not sure why I agreed to this, but he woke me up naked and weak and told me it was time to face a fear of my own. The guys were shedding their Pact. I need to shed my fear of the water if I’m really going to embrace the boys of Ocean Beach.
The water is Justin’s home, like a second skin, so he wades in to his knees while I tentatively allow tiny waves to cover my toes. The others see us coming, all eyes trained in my direction.
“I’m coming,” I say, pushing down the panic building in my chest. This fear is unfounded, but real. He walks back and takes my hand this time
, slowing his pace to mine.
“This may take forever,” he says several minutes later. The water is only at our shins. I’m not sure he realizes it, but my heart is in my throat; a full-fledged panic attack is not far away.
“Maybe we should just—oooph.” Justin picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. I look over his shoulder at the dark water as he wades in deeper.
“This will be faster.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “Justin, I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“I can’t breathe, babe,” he says and I loosen my grip. A little. He takes a couple more strides in and stops. We’re about waist deep and a wave splashes over my butt.
“It’s freezing,” I say. “And scary.”
“Summer, I’m not going to let anything happen, okay? None of us are going to let anything bad happen to you. Never again.”
I believe he means the words he is saying, but I look at the endless dark water around us. Anything could be lurking under the surface, but instead of sharks or sea monsters, I see the smiling faces of the boys I’ve come to love. A piece of the fear breaks off and drifts away.
Until something brushes against my foot and I yelp.
“What about shar—,” I start to argue but he stops me with his lips, kissing me, as he walks in a bit further. Once he gets deep enough he sinks in so the water is up to our necks.
“You can’t just kiss me every time I freak out.”
“No?”
“No, because, oh my god,” I squeal. “Something just touched my fo—" Again his mouth is on mine and as much as I want to fight him, his method of distraction is very effective. I relax into his kiss and the feel of his body next to mine as we float in the water.
“See? Not so bad.” His hands wander, slipping beneath the bikini strap across my back.
“It’s horrible,” I say, but there isn’t an ounce of conviction in my voice. A burning heat spreads through my belly and I no longer care that we’re in the ocean, surrounded by sea creatures and other scary things. Splashing catches my attention and Pete’s dark hair bobs above the surface. Whit swims around me, fingers grazing my neck with the kind of heat that can’t be mistaken as a sea creature.
“You made it,” Nick says, smiling in his easy way. He never had any doubt.
“You’re kind of magic, you know.”
“Who?” Justin asks. “Us?”
“Yes.” I splash him in the face and he grips both my wrists with his hands. “You’re fearless. And determined. You know just how to make me feel comfortable, and you put your family and friends first—even when it’s the harder choice.”
“It’s not a choice, Summer,” Justin says.
Pete nods. “We spent years thinking we needed out of this place—that it was a trap we couldn’t leave. But now I know that’s not true. It’s the place where the world begins and ends. Anything can happen.”
“So what does that mean?” I look around them. “You’re not quitting school, are you?”
“It means that right now we’ll get our education and figure out how to bring that knowledge back to Ocean Beach to make it a better place,” Nick says. “This is our home and we’re blessed.”
We rise up and down as a wave comes, and four sets of hands brace me. “You’ve already managed the impossible, getting me out here.”
“Never underestimate the power of four determined men from the South, Summer Barnes. We’ll make this work,” Whit says, smiling in a way that melts my bones, “and if we don’t, we’ll have fun trying.”
Chapter 23
“You’ll never believe who called me.”
“Who?”
“Darlene!” my mother shouts, bursting into the camper. She’s very excited. I’m just not sure why.
“Didn’t we already talk to her?” A lot of things about the summer are a bit of a blur, but I’m pretty sure I remember talking to Darlene about her psychopath uncle.
“Yes, but she called me again and this time I met with her and her mother—direct family contact.”
“That’s great. Did she tell you anything new?”
“Yes, and she showed me some photos no one had seen or published before. Plus, she was at his execution.”
“Oh, that’s…great.”
“It really is. Eyewitness reports can’t be beat. She was really excited about helping with the process. I think it will make the book that much better.”
“So you’re almost done then?” I ask, stretching out on my bed. The pillow smells like boy and ocean.
“I start edits next week. I should have it sent in to the publisher by the end of August.”
“That’s great, Mom. I’m really proud of you.”
She smiles at me. “I’m proud of you, too. We both made a lot of progress this summer.”
We did make a lot of progress, like the fact my mom is currently packing up her suitcase. She’s moving into Richard’s house and giving me a little more space of my own. She hasn’t asked much about the boys, just knows that we’re all close. She loves them all, too. I doubt she could make a choice either.
“You coming over tonight?” she asks, zipping up the suitcase.
“Yeah, after the guys get off work.”
She smiles again. It’s like it just won’t leave her face. I’ve never been happier for her.
“I wasn’t sure,” she says suddenly, “about you coming down here with me. I was afraid of you finding out the truth or being resentful that I kept you away from the family. I never realized how much you needed to be down here and discover your own place at Ocean Beach.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me. I know it was hard.”
She brushes a piece of my hair out of my eyes. “I named you after this place, hoping you’d always carry a piece of it with you.”
I give my mother a hug. She’s a survivor. A winner, and I’m damn lucky to have her in my life.
* * *
“Whose bright idea was game night, anyway?” I ask.
“One guess.”
“Anita?”
“And Sugar. It’s tradition. Once a month.” Pete fastens the button on his jeans while I straighten my skirt. “This is the first time we’ve had it at Richard’s, though.”
“Ah, I’m assuming my mom had something to do with that.”
He eyes my fumbling hands and notes, “You should wear dresses to every game night.”
I smooth my hair back into a neat ponytail. Well, as neat as I can get it. “You’d like that.”
“Yep.”
Laughter floats from the patio below. Bobby’s voice rises above the others. It sounds like he’s challenging some rule or the other. “Does this happen every time?” I ask, meaning the argument downstairs. Not the sex we just had in the bathroom of Justin and Whit’s cottage. I’m pretty sure I have marks on my upper thighs from the counter.
“Bobby thinks everyone cheats. Really, he just sucks at strategy.”
“I’m surprised you passed up on playing. You’re awfully competitive.” Pete and I excused ourselves from the latest round to ‘look for something’ in his apartment. Apparently, he found it. Up my skirt.
“I’m not spending my limited number of minutes with you playing games.” He sits on the top step of the stairs and pulls me down onto his lap. “The clock is ticking on school starting. I’m not missing any opportunities.”
He’s right. It’s going to suck. “I’ll come down for the Vandy-Clemson game.”
He nods. “And we’ll come up for your mom’s book release.” Her publisher put the rush on her book. She’s expecting a Christmas release, because everyone loves a little serial killer with their eggnog. “And then you’ll have spring break,” he continues. “And the military ball.”
“Yeah, not sure how it’s going to work with me having two dates.”
We both laugh and I brush his hair out of his eyes. “And then it’s summer again.”
“From there, we’ll decide.” That was the deal. We get thr
ough the year, see if this works for all of us and make other decisions. Like transferring south. Or moving north. Or maybe something entirely different.
“We can make it work,” he says. I believe him, but I’m nervous.
The fighting below gets louder and we both laugh when we hear Maggie start in. Pete stands, pulling me up with him. “That may be our signal to return to the group.”
I follow him down the steps and we can see the fireplace roaring and lanterns all around the patio. Mom, Richard, Sugar, and the others are partnered off around a big table with a game on top.
“Oh, did I tell you?” I ask, once we reach the bottom. “Mom’s leaving the Airstream at the campground.”
“Really?”
“I think she wants to have somewhere nearby also. I don’t know how he did it, but Richard won her back. I suspect she’ll move down here full time before next summer.”
“Hawkins charm,” he says, waving me off, but then I see him furrow his forehead. “Wait, so if Richard and your mom get married, what does that make you and Justin?”
I think about it for a second. “Lucky?”
He leans in and kisses me soft on the lips. “I like the sound of that,” he says, steering me toward the others.
We reclaim our seats around the table. Justin is standing, battling with Bobby over imaginary injustices in the game. Whit has one arm over the back of the chair and winks at me when he catches my eye. Nick’s flash blinds us all as he takes a million photos. I’m glad he’s documenting it all. No doubt I’ll look at them when we’re apart. Anita rolls her eyes, aware of what we’ve been up to. I ignore her and instead look at my mom. Her eyes sparkle from the fire and she’s happy. We both are.
“Dude, I’m not cheating!” Bobby shouts at his brother, but he winks at me before he throws his cards on the table.
I snuggle into Pete’s side, ignoring the theatrics, just happy to be part of this family and thankful my mother brought us to this edge of the world, one I never knew existed. For a second, I wish she had come back sooner to heal, but I know in my heart that now is the right time, the best time for us to make the most of summer.
