by Pynk
“Good.” Magnolia nodded long after her one word. Then she said, “Listen, I know a lot’s been going on, and I’m glad you’re better. But there is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about. It’s been weighing heavily on me, and I just can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen. I have to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I want you to know I did something that was totally fucked up. But, I also want you to know I’m telling you because I love you. I want your forgiveness.”
“What the hell is it? All this preliminary set up shit is scaring me to death.”
Magnolia had an expression like she was trying to carefully decipher her words. She managed to say, “Rebe. You know I was online doing the dating site stuff, well, no it wasn’t a dating site, but you know what I mean.”
“It was a booty call site. So?”
“Right. For sex. Well, one night I went to meet a couple.”
“You did?”
“Yes. When I got there, I didn’t stay long. I just kind of stood there while they played.”
“Damn, Magnolia. That’s brave. Okay. But what the hell does that have to do with me?”
Magnolia just spit it out. “Rebe, it was Randall.”
“It was who?”
“Randall. The guy was Randall. It was Randall, and Kandi.”
Rebe spoke each word with a slow, distinct, flow. “You have got to be kidding me.” She uncrossed her legs.
“No. I’m not. I wish I was.”
“And you got with them?”
“I watched them.”
“Magnolia, please tell me you’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
Rebe’s nostrils flared. She scooted to the end of the sofa cushion. “Hold up. So you were blindfolded, right? No. Don’t tell me. You had to be drugged, right?”
“No.” Magnolia looked ashamed.
Rebe stood up fast. “Then what the fuck was it?”
“Rebe, I just got caught up.”
Rebe walked away from Magnolia and then turned toward her to speak. Loud. “Caught up? That sounds like a man’s excuse when his dick ends up in some woman’s pussy. Caught up? Like to the point of no return? Oh you could have returned all right. You just didn’t want to? And you end up in a hotel room with Randall’s ass, knowing the way that man fucked me over. You know he’s my ex. He’s your best friend’s ex, Magnolia. And you played with him and that bitch, Kandi? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“I didn’t know it was them until I got there.”
“Oh, but once you got there, you saw his big goofy ass, right? Like I said, you weren’t blindfolded. And you still stayed?”
“Yes.”
“And he still wanted to once he saw it was you?”
“Yes.”
Rebe heard her heart speed up. She swallowed hard. “Dumb ass question.” The visual in her head was stabbing. “Why don’t you just tell me what the hell happened? I’m asking the questions here and you’re just giving me these short ass answers. What fucking happened?”
Magnolia gave a nervous-sounding ramble. “I was online and kept getting all these instant messages from someone named Lean and Jean, and I thought Lean was Neal’s name backward. See, I checked Neal’s banking account and found out he’d been paying for a GFF membership, too, so when I kept getting the messages over and over, I just thought it was him and Keyonna. But when I got there, it wasn’t. It was Randall.”
Rebe walked toward Magnolia, flailing her hands. “Magnolia, you sound crazy. That is some real fucked up shit. With all the shit going on in my life and you… You know what? I’m about to snap. Fuck! You need to get, you need to step away from me for a minute. Please. ’Cause I’m trying my best to not beat your ass. I mean, I am so damn mad right now. This is way fucked up. When in the hell was this?”
Magnolia looked up at her. “Back in late February.”
“That long ago and you’re just now telling me?”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Rebe turned again and took a few steps. “Oh hell no. You can be as sorry as you wanna be. Your sorry isn’t important. My pissed is what’s important, and I’m hella pissed.” She turned back to Magnolia. “That’s what matters. Me. Your ‘friend.’ ” She made quotation marks in the air. “And I’m fucking embarrassed that Randall would even think you’d betray me like that. Damn. I mean, he probably thinks you believe I’m a piece of shit like he does. Not even worthy of your trust because of some dick and pussy in a hotel room. Does Darla know?”
“Yes. I told her the other day. She warned me to go ahead and tell you.”
“See, I look like a dumb ass fool, still letting him and her pull shit on me. Damn, girl. You’re a trip, you know that? A real trip. We’re forty now. We’re not back in college.”
“Rebe, I’m so sorry. Truly sorry.”
Rebe rubbed her hands together and took a few more steps away from Magnolia. “My fucked up mind sometimes dares me to take the low road. It has for a long time now. I’ve got my mother’s gene, you know, her sick-ass temper. I take pills to keep me from doing all the shit that a bashed-in head does. You know all the hell I’ve been through, and you know how I’ve been trying to get past all my shit, Magnolia. You know. I’ve been trying to listen to what we heard in church. Trying to not let the shame of my past dictate my destiny.” She was now just below a shout.
“Yes, I do know.”
“To go through all this when I’m at an age where my life should be getting calmer, not crazier, is so hard. My daughter caught me with my legs wide open. She saw her mother two seconds away from an orgasm served by a woman’s mouth, at a damn swinger’s club that my ass had no business being in. But my daughter forgave me. I got raped by a man who’s locked up for life, who I’m working to forgive in my own head. And here you are, my best friend, telling me she did the same thing to me, that I did almost twenty years ago.”
“What?”
“I guess payback is a dog, huh? I crossed the line and got with my best friend’s guy and I even got pregnant. You’re not pregnant by Randall, are you?”
“No. What are you talking about?”
“My senior year, I was out at a bar, depressed about my life, and about raising Trinity alone, about her dad’s drug problem, and I saw Aaron, Darla’s husband there. An hour later, we were in a motel, having sex, unprotected. Two months later I had an abortion. So, I guess all this is my turnaround, huh? You and Randall. You saw Randall’s dick. Me and Aaron. I saw Aaron’s dick. I fucked up. You fucked up. Who knows what the hell Darla’s hiding from us. Some best friends, huh? If that’s the best I’d hate to see the worst.”
“Rebe. You’ve kept that to yourself all these years?”
“I have. Funny how Aaron picked the most broken one to creep with. But he was no saint, either. He was deep into the freak closet. ”
“Darla knows that.”
“Well, she doesn’t know this.”
“And you’re not going to tell her?”
“No.”
“Rebe. Darla’s the one who’s always been so protective of you.”
“Oh please. Don’t shift to righteous woman now. Just because you did your shit and needed to get it off your chest, doesn’t mean I’m the same way. I come from the school of not every damn thing needs to be told. That was part of the way I lived when I was young. What happened in our house stayed in our house. Besides, it was too long ago for all that talk about the shit that went on in college. I’m dealing with today and that’s enough. And today, in spite of what you think of me, I think you, Magnolia Butler, are a stank ass bitch.” Rebe pointed at Magnolia’s very being. Her eyes were red. No tears. Just heated emotion with a tiny hint of sisterly love.
Magnolia nodded, knowing she deserved it, and looking like she was waiting for Rebe to say she was kidding, or to kick her.
Rebe continued. “The only reason I’m not jumping on you right now, and knocking the hell out of you, is, for one, I’m almost not surprised
. When I was with Randall, I’d see how he’d look at you. I’m no fool. Or maybe I was a fool, because apparently I missed the way you looked at him, too.”
“Rebe. I never ever thought of him like that.”
“Whatever. The second reason is, I refuse to hit you because I’m pregnant, too. I haven’t had a period since last December. I’m due September 23, so I’m further along than you. I’ve been wearing these oversized tops. Don’t have to worry about dancing since I quit after my rapist, who was their patron, was captured. Actually, they offered me one thousand dollars to go. That’s a joke. Told them to shove their money. They even acted stupid when they found out I was Randall’s ex-wife. Hell, Randall ain’t nobody.” She blinked a long blink. “But the real trip is, I’m pregnant by a man who doesn’t even exist. I fucked that guy DeMarius on the first day of the new year and got knocked up. Hell, I guess a six-condom night of screwing increases your chances of getting pregnant. Plus, I wasn’t on the pill.”
“Rebe, you’re kidding me? How far along are you?”
“More than four months.”
“Oh my God. Rebe. We’re both having kids at our age.”
“Well, for some reason, maybe God wanted me to have another chance at motherhood, even after all the crap I’ve pulled in my life.”
“These are disguised blessings.”
“Yeah, well, those are some serious disguises. But today, for once, I’m gonna take the advice of my victim’s counselor and look at the bright side. Look for the light, as the pastor said.” Rebe stepped to the sofa and took a seat, crossing her arms and legs.
“You have every right to be mad at me.”
“Maybe, but just like what I did back in 1991 with Darla’s man, life has a way of remembering, so you watch out.”
“I understand.” Magnolia nodded, knowing darn well what her friend was saying. “As far as DeMarius, we’ll need to find out who he is. What do you know about him?”
Rebe looked like she didn’t want to discuss it, but she did. “All I know is he said his last name was Collins. I can’t find a DeMarius Collins anywhere. I thought he said he was interviewing for job as a track coach at Miami-Dade. I called and the coaches there said they’ve never heard of him. And I checked to find out the name the room was under, and it was under the name of a woman. Googled him up and down, too.”
“Wow. We’ll keep trying. We’ll find him. Doesn’t he know your name?”
“Just my maiden name, if he even remembers.”
“I see.”
“Bottom line is, I’ve got to do this parenting thing by myself. And I will.”
“How long have you known?”
“My ass thought I was just gaining weight. I kept throwing up and skipped my periods, but I thought it was perimenopause. I just found out not long ago myself.”
Magnolia sat back. “My Lord. Two old broads being moms.”
“Yep.” Rebe looked tired of it all.
“Rebe, I didn’t play it safe. I risked our friendship. And for that, I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” she replied without eye contact.
Magnolia placed her hand over Rebe’s. “Thanks. I made a misstep. I’m far from perfect.” She breathed in slow and out slower.
“Yes you are. And why in the hell were you checking Neal’s bank account? Cut that shit out. I hope you’re not doing that with Miller.”
“I’m not. I trust him.”
“Good.” Rebe could not believe her own calm.
The new her was a complete and total flip.
Even as angry as she’d gotten over Magnolia’s confession.
It was a retest.
And this one she had to pass.
Pass so that her walk on the bright side would be her normal.
Rebe looked over at the end table as a text message sounded on her cell.
She picked it up.
It was Armani. It’s not mine, is it?
She picked it up. No, was all she typed.
Twenty-Six
“You Got It All”
Magnolia
INT.—MILLER’S HOME—EARLY EVENING
May 11, 2009
It was a warm, still, quiet Monday evening.
The sun was barely on duty.
The champagne sunset was a sight for sore eyes.
Magnolia sat on the deck that extended from Miller’s kitchen, three floors above his beautifully landscaped backyard. The view of the rectangular pool with shimmering blue water was outlined by a ninety foot tamarind tree with green feather-like leaves with purple veins.
Magnolia looked around at the exotic, tropical scenery, eyeing the peacock flowers with brilliant flame-red clusters. She inhaled the scent and the ambiance, and surrendered her body on the silver lounge chair.
She’d kicked off her two-inch kitten heels, still wearing her crème work skirt and blouse.
Miller approached with a glass of Chardonnay for him and a cold glass of cranberry juice for his future baby’s mom, and sat next to her in the cushioned chair. “So how do you feel?”
“Good, sweetie. Very relaxed.” Her sentences agreed with her look of calm. She took the glass. “Thanks,” she said, and then took a sip.
“You sure?”
“Yes.” Her nod added an exclamation point.
“I’m glad to see that. Dr. Hayes said you need to slow down. Your fibroids could mean a hostile uterus. I think it’d be good if you put in for some vacation time.”
“Sweetie, I can’t right now. Too much going on.” She set the glass down on the tabletop.
“Well, when you’re ready to get away, just say the word.”
Magnolia closed her eyes. “Thanks.” Her voice was soft.
“How’d your visit with Rebe go?”
“It was good.” Magnolia looked over at him. “Baby, Rebe is pregnant, too.”
“Rebe? Pregnant?”
“Yes, I know. I felt the same way you look.”
“By whom?”
“There was this guy she got with on New Year’s Eve. Long story.”
“Okay. What does he have to say about it?”
“He doesn’t know. It was a one-night stand. Rebe doesn’t know who he is or how to reach him.”
“Oh, man. That’s gotta be tough on her.” Miller took a sip of wine.
“She’s tough. She’ll be fine.”
“Is she keeping it? The baby.”
Magnolia nodded with certainty. “Oh yes. And she’s obviously further along than I am so it’d be a little late for that anyway. She seems happy about it, actually.”
“So both of you, pregnant at the same time. Kids the same age. That is something.”
“Yes, it is.”
“You know, I was thinking. I’ll be seventy when our baby is in the fifth grade.”
“And? You look good baby.” She gave him flirty eyes.
He winked.
She asked, eyes now excited, “Hey. Do you like the name Paisley, sweetie? I’ve always loved that name.”
“I like it. It’s different. But what if it’s a boy?”
“If it’s a boy, you pick.”
“Okay. Deal.” They both looked out along the beautiful tree-lined view of his backyard. “So, I told the kids today, especially now that you feel you’re far enough along and everything’s okay as far as the bleeding. You know, I told them about us being parents. And I told my ex-wife.”
“You did? What’d they say?”
“The first thing the kids asked was if we’re getting married. That is, after they teased me about our child being an aunt or uncle to my grandchildren.” He smiled hard.
“Really.” Magnolia gave a laugh. “I didn’t even think about that. But they’re right. And your ex?”
“She was a little amazed. Amazed I’d want to do it all again. At my age.”
“And you said to her?”
“I told her I’m happier than I’ve been since I can remember. That this was meant to be. That I’m excited.”
“I see.” Magnolia took a small sip of her juice. “Then did she stop being opinionated?” She looked like she wasn’t joking.
“She stopped.”
“I think she needs to move on.” She held her glass with both hands. “I don’t see why she needed to be told directly anyway, really.”
“She didn’t need to be. She was with Rudy when I called him.”
“I see.”
He saw her expression. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Just don’t want her to be such a part of all this. I’m not used to this. The ex-wife and my man being so tight. I mean, the kids are grown.”
“Magnolia. My ex-wife and I are friends. I’ve set new boundaries for her and she’s following them. I don’t want her. She doesn’t want me. She has a boyfriend. She’s going through some hard times, which she knows are not my concern. She’s simply my kids’ mom.”
“Miller, I admit I have trust issues. As much as I don’t want to bring that to you, it is a part of who I am. I need someone I can really trust.”
“You can. And thanks for admitting that, baby. Like I said, she just happened to be there when I told my son. She wished us well.”
“Okay,” Magnolia said, sounding like it was a warning. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. This is new for both of us, but I’m willing.” She shifted. “So, your kids wanted to know when we were getting married, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell them right away?” She looked directly at Miller. “Because I want to get married right away.”
His expression showed surprise. “You do?”
She nodded. “Miller, you can propose again when you’re ready.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes.”
Miller’s lightbulb went off. “Well damn. Hold on.” He put his wine glass down and got up. He went into the house and moments later, came back out and stood over Magnolia. His question was simple. “Magnolia Denise Butler, will you marry me?”
Magnolia wanted to giggle because he remembered her middle name, but her heart was louder than her head. She looked up, deep into his blue eyes, her mouth open, and then she looked at his hands, seeing the black leather ring box, and she replied just as simply, “Yes, Miller Thomas Lockhart, I will. I will marry you.”
