by Stead, Nick
I took a bite of the small offering Leon had brought for me but for the first time since my last struggle with depression brought on by Fiona’s death, I couldn’t eat, even though I should have felt ravenous. There was only that nauseating feeling in my stomach that comes with a growing feeling of dread, my thoughts too troubled by the fate awaiting me when darkness fell once more. After chewing for several moments and trying repeatedly to swallow, the raw meat still wouldn’t slide down my throat. I spat it back out and gave up on eating as well.
“You should have stayed with us, Nick,” Amy said sadly. “You could have been surrounded by all of us who loved you, instead of ending up here, hated and alone.”
“How could I if it meant any of you getting hurt? It was the right decision to make so why do you insist on beating me up over this?” I growled to myself rather than the hallucination.
Mum appeared again. “We could have found a way to manage your curse. You didn’t have to go.”
“You wouldn’t want me at home if you knew the truth,” I answered, as another wave of despair crashed over me.
“Of course I would, you’re my son! I’ll always love you, no matter what.”
“Oh come on brain, really? Love conquers all? Since when have we ever believed that crap. How could anyone love this?” I growled, gesturing at my naked body, still spattered with gore from fighting the Slayers. “How could anyone ever find me anything other than hideous? You’d both be horrified if you knew the truth. Maybe you’d even disown me, and who could blame you. No one wants a monster in the family. No one wants to be associated with a killer, a murderer. You wouldn’t love me if you knew what I’d done.
“And what future would there have been for us if I had stayed? What happiness would there have been in watching as the years passed and time ravaged all of you, until one by one you died and faded away into memory? I would still be just as alone in the end while I endured till the end of time. What life is that?”
“Maybe it’s better this way,” came that hated voice again from somewhere behind me. “At least you can die feeling like you’ve paid for your crimes, and maybe that will bring you some peace in death.”
“You’re the last person I want to spend my final hours with, real or imagined. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“Because you still haven’t faced what you’ve done, not really,” Dad said. “You keep trying to hide behind your rage and bury your guilt deep down in your subconscious, but it’s still there, and sooner or later you have to face it.”
“What do you want from me?” I snarled, my back still turned to the apparition. “For me to admit I’m sorry? Okay, I admit it. I feel bad for what I did to our family, for what I did to you. But your anger’s as much to blame as I am. If you’d treated us all better, maybe I wouldn’t have turned to killing so readily. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so lost in the darkness and you wouldn’t have died.”
“Then face me. Face what you’ve done.”
Rage surged up again, my father calling to it as only he could. The hallucination seemed so real, like the night in Leon’s mansion where I’d thought I’d been back on the moors, all my senses tricked into believing he was really there. But when I finally turned round, shock froze the rage before it could take over and I fell back, unprepared for the gruesome sight that met my eyes. For the image of my Dad this time was not the man he’d been in life, but the bloody mess he’d been reduced to in death.
He had only a head and torso, his limbs ripped clean from their sockets. Strips of flesh hung loosely from the bloody skull beneath where I’d shredded his face, and entrails lay in front of him where they’d spilled from the hole I’d ripped in his stomach. And I’d done that to him; to my own father, my own flesh and blood.
“I never meant to hurt family,” I said in a low voice, misery replacing my rage.
“But you did. You did this to me, son. And now it’s time to face the consequences. Accept your punishment and maybe you can know peace in death.”
“There can never be peace for a monster like me,” I growled and swiped at the ghastly apparition. As with the visions I’d lashed out at before, it vanished, and when I turned back round the images of Mum and Amy had also disappeared, leaving me alone once more.
And then the daylight began to fade, just like my life was soon to do, and I could see through the windows that it was another red sky out there. Except this time instead of the clouds taking on the colour of all the bloodshed from lives I’d taken, it was my own blood that was about to be spilled. With dusk there truly came the end of any small hopes I may have still had that I would somehow escape my fate, and I was forced to accept I would be put to death, whether I truly felt I deserved it or not.
As day became night and my execution drew ever nearer, I began to imagine I could feel the fires of Hell reaching up for me. That was surely where I was headed after all the terrible things I’d done, and worse than the torments the demons down there would devise for me would be meeting any of my victims I’d sent there. I felt certain I would never be allowed to know peace, despite the slim hope of it that my brain had tried to offer through the images of my family. And while I suffered in that inferno below, would the vampires celebrate the end of my race, even after more victims turned up and the realisation sank in that I had been innocent after all? Not that it really mattered. Death was coming for me, and this time there was no escape.
Darkness had fallen and the door to my prison swung open. I thought I saw a robed figure enter, a reminder that the grim reaper comes for us all eventually, even those of us granted the power to withstand the ravages of time. But just like during the latest battle with the Slayers, the figure in question was in fact Ulfarr in his usual garb.
“It is time,” he announced, undoing my restraints telekinetically. “Come. And do not bother attempting to escape. We both know you are powerless to resist my will.”
I had no choice but to follow him. So this was it. After everything I’d been through, my life was to end not by the blades or guns of the Slayers, but at the hands of beings who should have been allies and kindred spirits. I felt strange as I walked in the wake of the Elder vampire, each step feeling leaden with the weight of my pending doom, as my feet carried me one step closer to the end of my life in the mortal realm.
Ulfarr led me out of the warehouse and into a nearby patch of woodland. He took me to a large clearing not unlike the one Leon’s mansion was hidden in, and with the moon nearing full again overhead, it was a bright night once we emerged from the gloom of the trees. And waiting there were even more vampires than I’d seen at the meetings Ulfarr had called to deal with the murders, as well as a number of ghouls again. With a sickening feeling I realised that the animalistic ghouls were probably there to eat my remains once Ulfarr had delivered the killing blow, rather than out of any interest in justice. My only comforting thought was that the execution itself must surely be quick and fairly painless, rather than the long and drawn out deaths humans had devised in the Middle Ages, since only a mortal wound to my heart or my brain would kill me.
The walk to the clearing couldn’t have been more than a few miles, but it had felt like an eternity to get there. I’d had a sense of going to my death the previous year, when I thought I’d foreseen my end in the battle for my hometown, and again when I’d followed Leon into the Slayers’ base. But at least there’d been room for some hope in battle, no matter how slim, that I might survive. Not like this time, where I was faced with certain death. And at least if I had fallen in battle, I would have gone down fighting. To be executed was not the end I would have chosen, but it seemed it would happen anyway, no matter what I wanted or whether I truly deserved it.
I was led to the front of the crowd, where there was a large rock which I was made to climb up so that they could all see me clearly as I stood there, naked and covered in dried blood, shivering in the chill of the night air. Ulfarr followed close behind, his hand already straying to the hilt of his blade
in anticipation of the blow that would put an end to the lycanthropic blight he despised so greatly.
“My fellow undead,” he addressed the crowd. “These are grave times indeed when we find ourselves beset not by human killers intent on slaying beings they perceive as monsters, but by one of our own.”
A part of me wanted to comment on the fact he’d referred to me as one of them, when before he’d made it clear he thought of me as nothing more than a beast, lowlier than the other races of undead. But I suspected he wouldn’t take kindly to me ruining his theatrics, and that he could find a way to make my death more unpleasant if I gave him reason to. So I held my tongue for once, while the other undead murmured angrily amongst themselves.
Ulfarr paused while the crowd voiced their distaste, before continuing “Tonight, I present to you the beast responsible for the deaths of our brother and sister vampires. There is no doubt in my mind of his guilt now, and so the time has come to pass judgement. A few months ago I promised you all justice, and tonight you shall finally have it!”
While the gathered undead roared with approval, Ulfarr commanded me “Kneel.”
“If you’ll grant me a last request, I would rather die on my feet.”
“Why, do you imagine that will allow you to die with some honour?” the Elder vampire sneered. “Animals like you do not deserve honourable deaths. Now, you will kneel!”
Raising a fist to motion for effect, like he was pulling downwards on a cord or a chain, the Elder vampire forced me to my knees with his telekinetic power. I tried to hide the pain of being pushed down so roughly, but I couldn’t quite keep myself from grimacing and most of the watching vampires jeered. I seemed to be facing even more hatred than I’d witnessed in my human enemies, but then the undead did have centuries more to nurse their loathing than the mere mortals.
I was able to pick out Leon’s face in the crowd, and he alone seemed sorry to bear witness to the death Ulfarr was about to deal me. I could see no sign of Lady Sarah, and despite how saddened she’d seemed when she’d visited me in my makeshift cell, I had to wonder if she really cared at all, or why else would she not be there for me in my final moments?
From behind came the sound of the Elder vampire unsheathing his blade with all the finality of dirt falling on a coffin lid or the flatlining of a hospital patient. And stood just to the side of me I again saw Death. Was he real?
“Does it matter?” the apparition answered to my unspoken question.
I supposed it didn’t. Whether real or a metaphorical hallucination, either way I was within his grasp yet again, and this time he wouldn’t be cheated. I was acutely aware of Ulfarr raising his sword above my head, my heart hammering in my chest no matter how I tried to calm my nerves, my lupine half’s instincts screaming to run. But there could be no fight or flight this time, not against the power of my executioner, and all I could do was shut my eyes to the sight of the sea of hate I saw in the dead faces below. Yet I couldn’t escape the vision of Death’s grinning skull so easily, the image of the reaper still waiting patiently from behind my eyelids. Then came the sensation of the Elder vampire’s blade slicing through the air as it carved its way towards my prone form, and I prepared to die.
Chapter Twenty Seven –Beneath the Mask of Sanity
I kept my eyes closed in those last few seconds before the sword cut its way through my skull and destroyed my brain beyond all repair. The shouts of encouragement from the crowd of undead were loud in my ears, but then I heard another voice, male but different to the reaper’s.
“It is not your time.”
I felt the blade whistle through the air just inches from my head, and the noise of the metal striking the stone with enough force that I imagined there would be sparks was unmistakeable. When the scent of humans carried to me on the breeze, my eyes snapped open again to find a large group of Slayers were approaching, and they had a spellcaster with them.
Ulfarr hissed angrily and ran past me to face the greater threat to their survival, engaging his enemies with the same feral savagery as I’d witnessed before. Why I’d been spared I couldn’t say. He could have easily carried out the death sentence he’d condemned me to before running into battle, if he was that desperate to see me die. Unless he wanted me to fight with them, but the Slayers didn’t yet have us surrounded and why should I help them when they’d been so quick to turn on me?
The other vampires also lost interest in me with their own existence threatened by the approaching force, except for Leon who pushed his way forward.
“Why didn’t he finish it?” I asked, on the off chance my friend had enough of an idea of the Elder vampire’s mind to guess what had just happened.
“It matters not. You’re lucky the Slayers decided to strike now, perhaps in retaliation for what we did to their base. My guess is they also found this gathering in such numbers too great an opportunity to resist, though how they discovered us so quickly is as yet unclear. But none of that is important at the moment. You need to get away from here, before any of them decide to finish this charade Ulfarr is calling justice.”
“I’ll meet you at the mansion then?”
“No! That’s the first place they’ll look once this battle is over. If you head west of here, you should come to an abandoned barn, possibly the same one you sheltered in with Lady Sarah,” he said, pointing. “Wait for me there.”
I nodded and the vampire turned his attention to the battle. They were all fully focussed on the Slayers and I was able to slip away with ease, into the surrounding woodland. Once I was sure none of them had followed me, I took my wolf form and set out in the direction Leon had shown me. But I hadn’t gone far before I caught the scent of more vampires up ahead, and I slowed, slinking cautiously through the trees.
As I drew closer, I caught the familiar scent of blood and death, and I could see a humanoid figure crouched over something lying on the floor. I realised it was another dead vampire, and I tensed, expecting a sudden attack from the barghest again. Yet I didn’t recognise a human scent that might belong to the witch, Selina. My nose only detected vampires, and when the killer twisted around with a hiss, as if suddenly aware of my presence, I was shocked to find myself facing none other than Lady Sarah. She was the murderer!
The vampire showed no sign of recognising me, looking wilder than I’d ever seen her. It was as if she’d given herself so completely to her bloodlust, just as I had done so often that year, that she had lost all sense of self until the world around her became nothing more than an endless hunting ground filled with prey. But why she’d turn to killing other vampires instead of the human victims she hungered for was something I couldn’t fathom. And I wasn’t going to stay to find out, the look in her eyes convincing me that any warm feelings she might have once had for me were currently lost in the chaos of her hunger for the kill. Besides, she’d been quite happy to let me take the fall for her crimes, no matter how saddened she’d acted while I was imprisoned, so she clearly hadn’t cared that deeply for me.
I growled instinctively as I backed away, my hackles raised and my teeth bared in warning. The vampire remained crouched over her kill, baring her own fangs, but she made no move to attack. I risked turning my back on her and sprinted away, straining my ears while I ran for any sounds of pursuit. There were none and eventually I slowed again, to try and work out what direction I’d been fleeing in. Judging from the distant sound of fighting I could still hear from the clearing, I’d veered east, so I resumed as swift a pace as my paws could manage, in the direction I hoped was west.
Somehow I managed to find the old barn without any guidance from the wolf, and it was indeed the one Lady Sarah had previously found as a temporary shelter for us. I knew how silently she could move and as I waited for Leon, I grew tenser and tenser as the minutes dragged on, the moon now hidden behind clouds, plunging the world into greater darkness. She could have followed downwind without me realising and she might even have realised where I was headed. She could be waiting in the sha
dows for all I knew, and perhaps she’d already marked me as her next victim, now I knew her secret.
The more I thought about my gruesome discovery, the more it made sense. It explained why she’d always been so secretive and distant, even if I still couldn’t work out what her motives might be for preying on her own kind. But what good did the knowledge do me? I still had no proof to take to Ulfarr and I doubted he would want to hear the truth, even if I had some solid evidence. Convincing him Selina was responsible for the killings would have been one thing, but to present to him another vampire as the murderer, especially one as old and as respected as Lady Sarah seemed to be, would probably be met with disbelief at best. He might well dismiss the notion out of hand, unwilling to accept the truth.
I had to survive the night first though. I’d been spared from the execution Ulfarr had sentenced me to, for the time being at least, but if Lady Sarah planned to kill me herself then it was possible Death was still nearby, waiting patiently to claim my life at last. And when my eyes detected movement in the shadows, I felt sure it would be her. But to my relief Leon had returned at last, bloodied from the battle and still drunk on the savage joy killing held for our kind.
I couldn’t talk to him while my vocal cords were fully lupine, so I started to transform, deciding to go all the way back to my human form. If the battle was over and Ulfarr tracked us down, being in either my hybrid or my wolf form wouldn’t save me. If the Elder vampire made an appearance I’d try talking to him again and even though I held no real hope of being any more successful in getting him to listen, I felt I had more chance if I looked human, rather than the savage beast he believed me to be. If Lady Sarah showed up I would have to hope Leon’s greater age made him powerful enough to give us a chance to survive the encounter, otherwise I was probably equally as doomed.
