by J. L. Berg
“I want to know.” My tone was clipped and to the point.
He let out a deep breath of air just as Declan spoke up, “It’s not a big deal, Liv. Jackson’s just worried about you. He told me about the newspaper journalist from the other night and—”
My temper began to rise, and my heart rate accelerated. “You were talking about me?”
The room went dead silent. No one was touching the food anymore, and I felt terrible for disrupting the meal Clare had put so much effort into, but I just couldn’t stop pushing.
“I asked Declan what he thought of the situation because of his background with reporters. That’s all,” Jackson said.
“You think my father is using me, don’t you?”
My eyes darted around the room and saw a sea of blank faces. Did they all think that?
“I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
The tiny room began to spin and my stomach churned with embarrassment. “I don’t feel well all the sudden. Clare, do you mind if I leave early?” I tried to plaster on my best smile.
She gave me a weak smile as she began to rise from her chair.
“Don’t bother, honey. I can show myself out.”
There wasn’t enough air in the room. I felt like everyone was staring at me, judging me.
I had to get out.
~Jackson~
We drove back home in silence.
The sheer fact that she was even in the same car with me right now was a miracle. I could feel the anger and hurt radiating off her body like an overworked furnace.
I spent every second between Clare’s house and ours thinking, contemplating, and figuring out my plan of attack. With Liv, it was always about strategy.
Going into this relationship, I’d known that it wasn’t going to be easy. Both Liv and I had been single for far too long, but her situation was vastly different than mine.
She’d basically been abandoned by the two people in her life who were supposed to be there for her. The results of this experience had made Liv’s strong personality even more so. She had been fiercely determined to prove to the world just how capable she was on her own two feet.
Making a partnership with someone who’d spent years living on her own and asserting her independence was no easy battle, but it was one that I was willing to fight because she was worth it.
Together, we would always be worth it.
I pulled into my driveway, and she jumped out of the truck the second it came to a stop.
“Liv, wait,” I hollered after her, once I’d shut off the ignition and pushed open the door. I raced after her.
“I’m done talking tonight, Jackson,” she hissed as she walked across the grass between our houses.
“Well, I’m not.”
“You don’t want to know what I have to say, so drop it and go home. We can talk tomorrow,” she said.
Somehow, I knew that if I let her walk away, there would be no talking tomorrow.
We reached the sidewalk, and her heels clacked against the concrete as she tried to outpace me to her front door. I sped up and cut her off, blocking the entrance.
“What the hell, Jackson?” Her eyes were narrowed into slits as she angrily folded her arms across her chest.
“I’ll let you pass, but you have to talk to me,” I said.
“Fine,” she said.
“Inside,” I added, remembering whom I was playing with. Liv was a sneaky little thing. If we stood out here to talk, I’d find a door slammed in my face in five seconds flat.
“Fine!” she yelled.
I pulled out my keys and unlocked her door.
“You know I could do that.”
“Yeah, but then I’d probably end up with my ass on the doormat and you on the other side, sliding the chain in place to keep me out.”
“Prick.”
“Nice one.” I grinned, letting her name-calling slide off my back. At least she was talking to me.
I opened the door and stepped inside before she had a chance to scoot past me. Once I was safely in, I ushered her to join me.
“Gee, thanks.”
“Anytime.”
She dropped her purse in its normal spot on the counter and turned back toward me, obviously not taking the time to sit and get comfortable. She thought this was going to be quick.
She was so wrong.
“So, talk,” she snapped.
“I thought I should have the opportunity to explain myself.”
There was no reply. She just waited.
“Look, Liv, I don’t have a clue what’s going on in that head of yours, but I think I have a pretty good idea. Those people you ran out on tonight love you. Not a single soul in that room wanted to cause you harm. If Declan and I were talking about your father, it was only because we wanted to make sure he doesn’t hurt you.”
“I can take—”
“I know. You can take care of yourself. Goddamn, woman, would you just let me speak?”
Her mouth snapped back shut.
“I don’t know why you think me wanting to take care of you or protect you is in some way an insult to your independence. Haven’t you already proven that enough already?”
“I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” she whispered.
“What do you mean?”
Motioning between the two of us, she took a step forward. “You…me…us. I just don’t know if I’m meant to be in a relationship like this. It’s too much, too soon. We’re too much. I can’t handle it.”
Heart failure—that was what I felt in this moment.
“What are you saying, Liv?”
“Maybe we need a break.”
“We’ve barely even started,” I whispered.
“Then, perhaps we should just go back to being neighbors?” she suggested softly.
“You could never be just my neighbor, Liv.”
My eyes fell to the floor as I tried to come up with something to say that would make her reconsider. What could I say or do if she’d already made up her mind?
“I think I’m done talking for the evening,” I finally said, turning toward the door.
I couldn’t make her love me. Every step felt like I was walking away from a future I’d hardly begun—a life of milkshakes and practical jokes. It was something worth fighting for, but I wasn’t doing that. I was giving up.
“No,” I said, stopping just before the door.
I turned around and found tear-stained eyes staring back at me.
“No?”
Closing the distance separating us, I grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her close.
“I’m not going anywhere, Liv. I know you’re scared, and the easiest thing to do is push me away, but love is never easy. I love you, Liv, every part of you, even that fiercely independent, pain-in-the-ass side that is telling you to flee right now. You wouldn’t be you without it. But you need to trust me. You need to trust us.”
“I don’t know how,” she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
“Trust this.” I tenderly touched my lips to hers. “What do you feel?”
“Tenderness, warmth…desire,” she answered.
“Go deeper,” I instructed before kissing her again. I gave her everything in that kiss—my heart, soul, and future.
When I pulled back, she was smiling.
“Happiness…pink flamingos…love.”
“That’s my girl,” I said gently. “Welcome to the other side.”
We spent the rest of the night together discovering just how much love could be found in each other’s arms.
~Jackson~
“I need a drink,” I said, feeling defeated.
Liv sat down next to me on the couch. “It’s not that bad, Jackson.”
“Says you.”
She rested her head on my shoulder, and I caressed her thigh as I listened to her breathe.
“You knew this day would eventually happen,” she reminded me.
“Yeah, but I didn’t think it would ac
tually ever really happen. It was someday and always so far in the future that I didn’t need to think about it.”
“And this summer? What kept you from thinking about it over the summer?” she asked.
“Moving, new job…you.”
“Don’t blame this on me!” She laughed.
“Can’t he be a kid just for a little longer?” I moaned.
“Jackson, he’s still a kid.”
“No, he’s a tween. They’re like mutant kids—pint-sized teenagers who listen to weird bands and talk funny. It’s fucking scary.”
She giggled, pulling my face toward hers.
God, I loved her.
Since the night, so many weeks ago that I had put everything on the line and fought to keep her, fought to stay in her life, I’d watched her blossom into the woman I knew I couldn’t live without.
It wasn’t that she’d changed really. By revealing her feelings for me, she was finally able to relax and be completely herself around me without any more walls or hesitation.
It was just her, me, and whatever came next.
“He’s still your kid, Jackson, regardless of what school he’s starting. So, let’s put on our brave faces and go see how our little middle-schooler is fairing the eve before his big day.”
“Yeah, okay,” I grumbled.
She pulled me off the couch, and we climbed up the stairs to Noah’s room. I gently knocked on the open door, giving him a heads-up of our arrival, and found him shoving a few pencils into his backpack.
“Almost ready?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so,” he answered quietly.
Liv took a seat on the bed next to him. “Did I ever tell you about my first day of middle school?” she asked.
He shook his head, placing the backpack on the floor beside his feet.
“My dad was up for re-election for state senate, and there was talk of him running for the US Senator seat. My parents decided it was no longer safe for me to continue attending the public school where I’d been going.”
“You went to a private school, too?”
“I did,” she answered. “Not the same one as you but very similar.”
“Was it horrible—your first day?” he asked hesitantly.
“I thought it would be. I begged my mother to reconsider. I even told her I’d be okay with a bodyguard if she’d just let me go back to the public school. For the record, we were not cool enough to have bodyguards. I was just being melodramatic.”
“Girls are like that,” he added.
“Tell me about it.” I laughed.
I got the evil eye for that remark, but she threw a wink in my direction as well.
“When I arrived, I got snide looks, and people were shy to come up to me. I was new and mysterious, and of course, I was the Senator’s daughter. Eventually, as the day went on, people started to warm up to me, and I began to find my niche.”
“I hope I can,” he said quietly.
“You will. Just take it one day at a time. Besides, you always have Fridays to fall back on.”
Both Noah and I looked at her in confusion.
“Dress-down days! Come on, do you guys not remember all those dope clothes we got you? When you’re finally able to bust out of that uniform at the end of the week, those kids will be hanging on your every word. And you’ll be thanking me because of it!”
“Ah, yes, because that’s exactly how to make friends.” I chuckled.
“Hey, whatever works. They’re eleven.” She shrugged.
We said good night, and I took one last look at my little boy before walking toward the door. Liv and I stepped over the threshold.
“Liv?” Noah said.
“Yeah?” she answered, swiveling back around.
“Do you think…you could maybe—”
“I’ll be here in the morning. Don’t worry.” She smiled, reaching out for my hand.
“Thanks,” he answered, a touch of obvious relief coming out in his slow exhale.
I followed her as she moved toward the stairs, our hands still tightly joined together. As she took the first step, I stopped. She turned around, grinning, and met my gaze.
“Stay,” I said.
“Are you sure?” She looked over at Noah’s room with unease.
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” I reminded her.
“Yes, but that was before—”
“Before what, Liv?”
“Before the sex,” she said, whispering the last word so softly that it was barely audible.
I pulled her hand to my lips and slowly kissed each of her knuckles with care.
“Stay,” I said again.
“Okay,” she relented.
She trailed behind me as I led us to the bedroom. It wasn’t late, but if she was going to sleep in my bed, I would take advantage of that situation right away.
Letting the door click in place behind us, she looked around and grinned. “You know your son is still very much awake down the hall, right?”
“I’m aware,” I said, walking toward her.
“And you know these old houses have super thin walls, right?”
“Yep.” My hands slipped around her waist, and I picked her up.
Like clockwork, her slender legs wrapped around my torso, and I felt her melt into me.
“What are we doing?” she whispered in my ear.
“We’re going to read a book,” I said in my most seductive voice possible.
Her head lifted, and her eyes met mine. “Come again?”
“Oh, I plan to, but give me an hour or so.” I grinned. “For now, I wanted to show you one of the many perks of a relationship.”
Over the last week or so, I’d been doing this quite frequently, constantly reminding her of the joys and certain extras one received when committed to another. Last week, I’d dropped off lunch for her at her office. Her secretary had been out for the day, so we’d also locked the door, and I’d shown her how much fun a desk could really be. On Monday, when she hadn’t felt well and refused to go to a quack doctor, Noah and I had spent the evening taking care of her even though she wouldn’t touch half the stuff I recommended. Instead, she’d stunk up the house with some crazy scented oils.
“Oh, yes, another perk. How is reading one of those? I can do that on my own,” she argued.
I walked us to the bed, bent forward, and slowly let her body dip into the mattress.
“Yes, you can, but then you wouldn’t get to listen to my sexy voice doing it.”
“You’re going to read to me?”
“We’re both going to read out loud.” I grinned.
“Like kindergarteners?”
“I’m fairly certain grade-school kids have never touched the book I picked out for us.”
“Oh.” Her eyes gleaned with interest. “Now, I’m intrigued. Is it sexy?”
Reaching into the drawer of my nightstand, I pulled out the book I’d ordered online after a particular late night of sexting with Liv. In an attempt to keep myself from running out the door to do a repeat of our window encounter, I’d come up with the perks idea.
It was no secret that Liv was experienced in the bedroom. How experienced? I didn’t fucking want to know. For most of her adult life, she’d convinced herself that relationships weren’t for her, and it was now my job to show her otherwise. Ever since lunch, I’d been showing her the many benefits of dating Jackson Reid.
Tonight, we would be reading in bed—with a twist.
“Erotic poetry?” Liv glanced at the title of the book I held in my hand.
“Were you expecting something with whips and chains?” I asked, flopping down on the bed with her.
“I never know what to expect from you,” she answered, rolling to her side.
“Exactly. Now, who wants to go first?” I gave her a challenging look.
“Give me the damn book.” She laughed.
Cracking the cover, she flipped through the first couple of pages, and she began searching the text of the poems, obviou
sly trying to find the perfect one. Her eyes rounded and bugged as laughter tumbled from her mouth. Obviously, not all of them were great.
“Found it,” she finally said. “It’s an old one.”
“Good. Now, wow me.”
“‘Enthralled,’” she said, “by Alfred Bryan.”
“Teach me to sin— / In love’s forbidden ways,” she recited, her voice almost a whisper. “For you can make all passion pure; / The magic lure of your sweet eyes / Each shape of sin makes virtue praise.”
My skin tingled with every sound she made, and my mouth watered in anticipation of what was to come.
“Teach me to sin—” she repeated.
Dear God I wanted to.
“Enslave me to your wanton charms, / Crush me in your velvet arms / And make me, make me love you.”
My fingers inched toward her, reaching out to touch the exposed flesh where her shirt had crept up.
“Make me fire your blood with new desire, / And make me kiss you—lip and limb, / Till senses reel and pulses swim. / Aye! even if you hate me, / Teach me to sin.”
By the time she finished, I was nearly panting. Our eyes locked, and I saw that she was just as affected as me. Every word she’d recited was literary foreplay. When she’d read those words of lust and passion, her voice had turned into liquid sex, and I was suddenly dying of thirst.
“I really hope Noah’s asleep by now,” I said, pulling the book from her hand and tossing it to the floor.
“Why?” she purred.
“Because I’m about to fuck you so hard that the walls are going to shake.”
“A big fan of sexy poetry, Jackson?” she quipped.
I pulled my shirt up over my head. “Only when it’s coming from that dirty mouth of yours. Now, lift your dress, and show me your wanton charms.” I grinned.
She complied and slowly lifted the vibrant orange fabric up her thighs and over her stomach until she exposed her bare breasts, and then the dress fell to the floor.
That was one of the many things I loved about Liv. She wasn’t a huge fan of bras, and she often went without on many occasions. She was like unwrapping a mystery gift each time I undressed her. I never knew what I’d find—sexy lingerie or nothing but Liv. Either way, it would be the sexiest damn present I’d ever had.
“So beautiful,” I murmured before kissing a path along her neck.
